How Will You Measure Your Life?

1. Define your life's purpose to guide your decisions and actions

The type of person you want to become—what the purpose of your life is—is too important to leave to chance. It needs to be deliberately conceived, chosen, and managed.

Purposeful living. Defining your life's purpose is crucial for making meaningful decisions and living a fulfilling life. This purpose should consist of three key elements:

1. Likeness: A clear vision of the person you want to become
2. Commitment: A deep dedication to pursuing that vision
3. Metrics: Specific ways to measure your progress

To develop your purpose:

• Draw inspiration from your values, beliefs, and experiences
• Reflect deeply on who you truly want to be
• Commit wholeheartedly to becoming that person
• Establish concrete ways to track your growth

Remember that defining your purpose is an ongoing process, not a one-time event. Regularly revisit and refine your purpose as you grow and face new challenges in life.

2. Understand what truly motivates you to find fulfillment in your career

The safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

Intrinsic motivation. To find genuine satisfaction in your career, it's essential to understand what truly drives you. Frederick Herzberg's motivation theory distinguishes between two factors:

1. Hygiene factors: Elements that prevent dissatisfaction (e.g., salary, job security)
2. Motivators: Aspects that lead to satisfaction and engagement (e.g., meaningful work, recognition)

Key points to consider:

• Focus on intrinsic motivators rather than just external rewards
• Seek opportunities for personal growth, responsibility, and achievement
• Recognize that money alone cannot guarantee long-term job satisfaction
• Regularly assess whether your work aligns with your core values and aspirations

By prioritizing intrinsic motivators, you're more likely to find lasting fulfillment in your career and avoid the gradual descent into dissatisfaction.

3. Balance deliberate planning with openness to unexpected opportunities

Strategy almost always emerges from a combination of deliberate and unanticipated opportunities.

Strategic flexibility. Successful career strategies involve a balance between deliberate planning and embracing emergent opportunities. This approach allows you to pursue your goals while remaining open to unexpected paths that may lead to even greater success.

Key principles:

• Develop a clear, deliberate strategy for your career goals
• Stay alert to unforeseen opportunities that may arise
• Be willing to adjust your plans when promising alternatives emerge
• Continuously evaluate and refine your strategy based on new information and experiences

Examples of balancing deliberate and emergent strategies:

• Pursuing a specific career path while being open to related fields
• Setting long-term goals but remaining flexible in how you achieve them
• Developing core skills while exploring new areas of interest

By maintaining this balance, you can navigate your career with purpose while taking advantage of serendipitous opportunities.

4. Allocate your resources in alignment with your priorities and values

To understand a company's strategy, look at what they actually do rather than what they say they will do.

Intentional allocation. Your resource allocation—how you spend your time, energy, and money—reveals your true priorities. To ensure your actions align with your stated values and goals, consciously direct your resources towards what matters most.

Steps to align resources with priorities:

1. Identify your core values and long-term objectives
2. Regularly assess how you're currently allocating your resources
3. Identify discrepancies between your stated priorities and actual behavior
4. Make deliberate choices to realign your resource allocation

Areas to consider:

• Career advancement vs. work-life balance
• Professional development vs. personal relationships
• Short-term gains vs. long-term investments

By consciously allocating your resources, you can ensure that your daily actions contribute to your most important goals and values.

5. Invest early in relationships to reap long-term benefits

If you defer investing your time and energy until you see that you need to, chances are it will already be too late.

Proactive investment. Building strong relationships requires consistent effort and investment over time. By nurturing your personal and professional connections early and consistently, you create a support network that will be there when you need it most.

Key strategies for relationship investment:

• Prioritize quality time with family and friends
• Maintain regular communication with colleagues and mentors
• Offer support and assistance to others without expecting immediate returns
• Cultivate a diverse network of relationships across various areas of your life

Benefits of early relationship investment:

• Emotional support during challenging times
• Professional opportunities and collaborations
• Personal growth and learning from others' experiences
• Increased resilience and adaptability

Remember that relationships are like compound interest—small, consistent investments can yield significant returns over time.

6. Develop empathy to strengthen personal and professional connections

We go into them thinking about what we want rather than what is important to the other person. Changing your perspective is a powerful way to deepen your relationships.

Perspective shift. Developing empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others—is crucial for building strong, meaningful relationships in both personal and professional spheres. By focusing on others' needs and perspectives, you can create deeper connections and more effective collaborations.

Strategies to cultivate empathy:

• Practice active listening without judgment
• Ask thoughtful questions to understand others' motivations and challenges
• Put yourself in others' shoes when facing conflicts or disagreements
• Seek to understand the "job to be done" in personal and professional interactions

Benefits of empathy in relationships:

• Improved communication and mutual understanding
• Stronger team dynamics and collaboration
• Enhanced problem-solving abilities
• Increased trust and loyalty

By consistently practicing empathy, you can transform your relationships and create more fulfilling personal and professional experiences.

7. Cultivate your children's capabilities through meaningful experiences

Children need to do more than learn new skills. The theory of capabilities suggests they need to be challenged. They need to solve hard problems. They need to develop values.

Experiential learning. To help your children develop into capable, well-rounded adults, focus on providing them with meaningful experiences that challenge them and foster growth. Instead of simply teaching skills or protecting them from difficulty, create opportunities for them to solve problems and develop their own capabilities.

Key aspects of cultivating capabilities:

• Encourage children to take on age-appropriate challenges
• Allow them to experience failure and learn from it
• Provide opportunities for them to develop problem-solving skills
• Foster independence and decision-making abilities

Examples of capability-building experiences:

• Assigning household responsibilities
• Encouraging participation in team sports or group activities
• Supporting entrepreneurial endeavors
• Involving children in family decision-making processes

By focusing on experiential learning and capability development, you can better prepare your children for the complexities of adult life.

8. Shape your family culture intentionally to instill lasting values

Culture in any organization is formed through repetition.

Deliberate culture-building. Your family's culture—the shared values, beliefs, and behaviors—significantly influences your children's development and future choices. By intentionally shaping this culture, you can instill lasting values and create a strong foundation for your family.

Steps to shape family culture:

1. Identify the core values and behaviors you want to promote
2. Consistently model these values in your own actions
3. Create opportunities for family members to practice these values
4. Reinforce positive behaviors and address inconsistencies

Elements of a strong family culture:

• Clear communication of expectations and values
• Regular family rituals and traditions
• Shared problem-solving and decision-making processes
• Celebration of individual and collective achievements

Remember that culture is formed through repetition and consistency. By intentionally shaping your family's culture, you create a powerful framework for guiding your children's development and future choices.

9. Make ethical choices consistently to maintain integrity

It's easier to hold to your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold to them 98 percent of the time.

Unwavering integrity. Maintaining personal integrity requires consistent adherence to your ethical principles, even in seemingly small or inconsequential situations. By avoiding the trap of "just this once" thinking, you can protect yourself from gradual ethical erosion and its potentially severe consequences.

Key principles for maintaining integrity:

• Establish clear personal ethical boundaries
• Recognize the danger of marginal thinking in ethical decisions
• Consider the long-term consequences of your choices
• Practice consistent ethical behavior in all aspects of life

Benefits of unwavering integrity:

• Enhanced personal and professional reputation
• Increased trust from others
• Reduced stress and cognitive dissonance
• Long-term success and fulfillment

Remember that integrity is built through consistent choices over time. By adhering to your principles 100% of the time, you create a strong ethical foundation that will guide you through even the most challenging situations.

Last updated: January 22, 2025