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Human(Kind)

Human(Kind)

How Reclaiming Human Worth and Embracing Radical Kindness Will Bring Us Back Together
by Ashlee Eiland 2020 213 pages
4.19
100+ ratings
Listen
9 minutes

Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Your Authentic Self: The Journey to Self-Acceptance

"I saw a fresh start, a new leaf, a statement of acceptance and self-worth."

Self-acceptance is a journey. It often involves shedding layers of societal expectations and embracing one's true identity. This process can be challenging, especially for individuals from marginalized backgrounds who may feel pressure to conform to mainstream standards.

Milestones in self-acceptance:

  • Recognizing and challenging internalized biases
  • Embracing physical attributes that may differ from societal norms
  • Celebrating cultural heritage and unique experiences

The journey to self-acceptance is not linear. It requires constant reflection, growth, and sometimes difficult decisions. However, the reward is a more authentic and fulfilling life, free from the burden of trying to be someone else.

2. The Power of Kindness in Bridging Divides

"Kindness does more than facilitate easy pleasantries or cordiality. It melts swords in the arena."

Kindness is a powerful tool for connecting with others, especially across cultural, racial, or ideological divides. It goes beyond mere politeness, serving as a bridge to deeper understanding and empathy.

Ways kindness can bridge divides:

  • Creating a safe space for open dialogue
  • Demonstrating respect for different perspectives
  • Inspiring reciprocal acts of kindness

By approaching others with genuine kindness, we open doors to meaningful connections and mutual understanding. This approach can be particularly effective in addressing conflicts and prejudices, as it disarms defensiveness and creates an atmosphere conducive to growth and change.

3. Navigating Cultural Identity and Belonging

"We are more than a single aspect of our identities."

Cultural identity is multifaceted. Individuals often navigate complex intersections of race, ethnicity, nationality, and personal experiences. This can lead to feelings of not fully belonging in any one group, particularly for those with mixed heritage or who have been exposed to multiple cultures.

Aspects of cultural identity navigation:

  • Recognizing and embracing diverse influences
  • Finding community with those who share similar experiences
  • Developing a unique cultural identity that honors all aspects of one's background

The journey of cultural identity often involves reconciling different, sometimes conflicting, aspects of oneself. It's about finding a balance that feels authentic and allows for personal growth while honoring one's roots.

4. Overcoming Rejection and Building Resilience

"Even if we experience rejection, that doesn't mean we are rejected."

Resilience is key to personal growth. Rejection, whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or social contexts, can be painful. However, it's crucial to develop the ability to bounce back and maintain a sense of self-worth.

Strategies for building resilience:

  • Reframing rejection as a learning opportunity
  • Cultivating a strong support network
  • Practicing self-compassion and positive self-talk

By developing resilience, individuals can face life's challenges with greater confidence and maintain a positive outlook even in the face of adversity. This skill is particularly important for those who may face systemic barriers or discrimination.

5. The Importance of Perspective in Understanding Others

"With the right perspective, we see that one can be fully oneself and fully aware of God's hand on another life, culture, or way of moving in the world."

Broadening perspective fosters empathy. By actively seeking to understand others' experiences and viewpoints, we can develop a more nuanced and compassionate worldview. This is especially important when interacting with people from different backgrounds.

Ways to broaden perspective:

  • Engaging in meaningful conversations with diverse individuals
  • Traveling and immersing oneself in different cultures
  • Consuming media and literature from varied sources and perspectives

Developing a broader perspective not only enriches our own lives but also contributes to a more inclusive and understanding society. It allows us to see the humanity in others, even when their experiences differ greatly from our own.

6. Cultivating Meaningful Friendships Across Differences

"We are not to operate within the limiting and deceiving boundaries of categories we've created."

Diverse friendships enrich our lives. By forming connections with people from different backgrounds, we challenge our preconceptions and expand our understanding of the world. These relationships can be transformative, offering new perspectives and experiences.

Benefits of diverse friendships:

  • Challenging and expanding our worldview
  • Developing greater empathy and cultural competence
  • Creating opportunities for personal growth and learning

Cultivating these friendships requires openness, curiosity, and a willingness to step outside our comfort zones. It involves actively seeking out diverse environments and being open to connections that may initially seem unlikely.

7. Confronting Bias and Prejudice with Grace

"In the pursuit of peace and true unity, silence is oftentimes so much more difficult to hold than our own spoken truth."

Addressing bias requires patience and grace. When confronted with prejudice or discrimination, the natural response may be anger or defensiveness. However, approaching these situations with patience and understanding can lead to more positive outcomes.

Strategies for confronting bias:

  • Practicing active listening to understand the root of prejudice
  • Sharing personal experiences to humanize the issue
  • Educating others with compassion and empathy

By addressing bias with grace, we create opportunities for genuine change and understanding. This approach can be challenging, especially when facing direct discrimination, but it has the potential to create lasting impact.

8. The Transformative Power of Loss and Change

"Loss can show us the places where we've truly become free; it can mark the legacies of the people and moments that have given us the greatest gifts."

Loss catalyzes growth and transformation. While painful, experiences of loss - whether of relationships, identities, or expectations - can lead to profound personal development and new perspectives on life.

Aspects of transformation through loss:

  • Reevaluating priorities and values
  • Discovering inner strength and resilience
  • Developing deeper empathy for others' experiences

By embracing the transformative potential of loss, individuals can find new meaning and purpose in their lives. This perspective allows for a more nuanced understanding of life's challenges and the opportunity for personal reinvention.

9. Embracing Vulnerability in Relationships

"True commitment sees us and says, I know you, all of you, especially the really deep, dark, and ugly parts—and I pick you and want to do life with you anyway."

Vulnerability strengthens connections. Opening up to others, sharing our true selves - including our flaws and insecurities - can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships. This applies to romantic partnerships, friendships, and even professional relationships.

Benefits of vulnerability in relationships:

  • Building trust and intimacy
  • Encouraging authenticity and mutual understanding
  • Creating space for growth and personal development

Embracing vulnerability requires courage and a willingness to risk rejection. However, the potential for deep, authentic connections makes this risk worthwhile. It allows for relationships based on true acceptance and understanding.

10. The Role of Silence in Personal Growth and Understanding

"When we let silence do its work, we leave space for the delayed hope of possibility."

Silence fosters reflection and understanding. In a world filled with constant noise and information, intentional silence can be a powerful tool for personal growth and deepening our understanding of others.

Ways silence contributes to growth:

  • Creating space for introspection and self-awareness
  • Allowing for deeper listening and empathy in conversations
  • Providing room for processing complex emotions and experiences

By embracing periods of silence, we create opportunities for deeper understanding - of ourselves, others, and the world around us. This practice can lead to more thoughtful responses and meaningful interactions in all aspects of life.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.19 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Human(Kind) receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising Eiland's vulnerable storytelling and timely message of radical kindness. Many found her personal experiences as a Black woman in predominantly white spaces insightful and relatable. Reviewers appreciated the book's call for empathy, self-reflection, and bridging divides through compassion. Some noted it was more memoir-like than expected, but still impactful. A few readers found certain parts triggering or challenging, but overall, the book was seen as thought-provoking and inspiring.

Your rating:

About the Author

Ashlee Eiland is a Black female pastor, author, and speaker based in the United States. She grew up in an affluent Black family, navigating predominantly white spaces throughout her life. Eiland's experiences inform her writing, which explores themes of race, identity, faith, and human connection. She advocates for radical kindness and empathy as a means to bridge societal divides. Eiland's background in ministry influences her perspective on spirituality and human worth. Her storytelling approach combines personal anecdotes with broader insights on social issues. Eiland's work aims to inspire readers to reflect on their own experiences and cultivate greater understanding across cultural differences.

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