I'm Right and You're an Idiot

1. Advocacy can unintentionally create barriers to change

Stubborn adversarial advocacy dominates our society, and is coming from all sides.

The advocacy trap. When groups view each other as not just wrong but as wrongdoers, it creates a cycle of hostility. This evolves gradually:

• Initial disagreement leads to questioning motives
• Criticism triggers defensive reactions
• Anger escalates on both sides
• Each side views the other as an enemy
• Results in gridlock and inability to find common ground

The trap is difficult to escape once entered. To avoid it:

• Adopt attitudes of respect and fair-mindedness
• Recognize that few people are truly evil
• Understand that good people sometimes do misguided things for understandable reasons
• Police our own aggression to open space for real conversation

2. Polarization and mistrust undermine public discourse

PR campaigns are also waging a war on objectivity and sincerity.

Erosion of trust. Many forces in society are working to undermine faith in institutions, experts, and the possibility of objective truth:

• Misleading PR campaigns and propaganda
• Outlandish allegations and improbable statements
• Attacks on the credibility of scientists and other experts
• Portrayal of a world where everyone is manipulating for their own gain

This atmosphere breeds:

• Widespread mistrust and cynicism
• Disengagement from civic discourse
• Inability to reach consensus on important issues

To counter this, we must:

• Be wary of slick messaging campaigns
• Defend the credibility of legitimate experts and institutions
• Work to rebuild trust through transparency and good-faith dialogue

3. Self-justification and cognitive dissonance hinder open-mindedness

We work hard to defend our actions and maintain a favorable self-image, and sometimes we do this even when we harm others or are confronted by evidence that we are wrong.

Psychological barriers. Several psychological forces make it difficult for people to change their minds or admit mistakes:

• Cognitive dissonance: Discomfort when our actions contradict our beliefs
• Self-justification: Rationalizing our behavior to maintain a positive self-image
• Confirmation bias: Seeking information that confirms existing beliefs

These forces are stronger:

• The more time and effort we've invested in a position
• The more publicly we've committed to a stance
• When our core values or identity feel threatened

To overcome these barriers:

• Practice intellectual humility
• Hold beliefs lightly, be open to new evidence
• Separate ideas from identity - changing your mind doesn't make you a bad person

4. Cultural cognition shapes our perception of facts

We tend to look for evidence that confirms what we already believe, and that can lead to narrow-mindedness, partisan attitudes and noise in the public square.

Tribal thinking. Our cultural identities and values shape how we interpret factual information:

• We more readily accept facts that align with our cultural worldview
• We scrutinize or dismiss facts that challenge our existing beliefs
• This happens largely unconsciously

This explains why:

• People can sharply disagree on facts that experts widely agree on
• Presenting more data often fails to change minds
• Debates can become intractable and tribal

To communicate more effectively:

• Frame messages in ways that affirm, not threaten, cultural identities
• Use diverse messengers that different groups can relate to
• Focus on shared values and concerns rather than just facts

5. Facts alone are insufficient; moral framing is crucial

Research coming from cognitive and brain science tells us if we want to be persuasive we must appeal to people's values and speak from a moral position, rather than layering on more data and statistics.

Beyond data. Effective persuasion requires more than just presenting facts:

• People rarely change views based on empirical evidence alone
• Too much data can actually create confusion and resistance
• Emotions and values play a crucial role in decision-making

Instead, focus on:

• Moral framing: Connect issues to deeply held values
• Storytelling: Use narratives that engage emotions
• Visual and experiential communication: Help people feel and imagine, not just think

Practical tips:

• Identify the core values of your audience
• Frame your message to align with those values
• Use vivid stories and metaphors to bring dry facts to life
• Appeal to emotion as well as reason

6. Effective change requires inquiry and following positive energy

The initial strategy in any kind of change process should be inquiry. It's the other's values that matter, not ours, so our first question should be, What motivates other people, their organization or society?

Collaborative approach. Rather than trying to impose change, seek to understand and amplify existing positive momentum:

• Start with genuine inquiry into others' motivations and values
• Look for where change is already happening, even if small
• Support and accelerate those positive efforts
• Build coalitions around shared aspirations

This approach:

• Reduces resistance and defensiveness
• Taps into intrinsic motivation
• Creates a positive, forward-looking dynamic

Key questions to ask:

• What's already working well?
• Where do you see potential for positive change?
• What would success look like to you?
• How can we support your efforts?

7. Generative listening and empathy foster genuine dialogue

When we deepen our listening, we engage in real conversations.

Deep listening. Moving beyond superficial or defensive communication requires cultivating deeper listening skills:

• Suspend judgment and preconceptions
• Seek to understand the other's perspective fully
• Listen for underlying needs, fears, and aspirations
• Be open to having your own views changed

Levels of listening:

1. Downloading: Hearing what we already know
2. Factual: Open to new information
3. Empathic: Seeing through the other's eyes
4. Generative: Listening for emerging possibilities

Benefits of generative listening:

• Builds trust and rapport
• Uncovers new insights and solutions
• Shifts the dynamic from debate to dialogue
• Creates space for genuine transformation

8. Powerful narratives balance challenge with hope

A well-crafted public narrative helps tear down barriers of propaganda and polarization.

Storytelling for change. Effective narratives to inspire action:

• Present a clear challenge or threat
• Offer a credible path forward and reason for hope
• Connect to deeply held values and identities
• Use specific details and emotional resonance

Key elements:

1. Story of Self: Why you were called to act
2. Story of Us: Shared values of the community
3. Story of Now: The urgent challenge and choice we face

Practical tips:

• Use vivid, specific details rather than abstractions
• Show, don't tell - let the story reveal the moral
• Balance urgency with agency - people need to feel they can make a difference
• Craft a clear "call to action" that offers concrete next steps

9. The Golden Rule: Treat others with understanding and respect

Compassion is a virtuous cycle, and practicing the Golden Rule yields an expanded sense of self, which yields ever more compassionate behavior.

Ethical foundation. The Golden Rule - treating others as we would want to be treated - provides a universal ethical framework:

• Found in virtually all religious and philosophical traditions
• Encourages empathy and perspective-taking
• Creates a positive feedback loop of mutual understanding

Applying the Golden Rule in public discourse:

• Assume good intentions in those who disagree
• Seek to understand others' fears and motivations
• Respond to hostility with patience and kindness
• Focus on shared hopes and values, not just differences

Benefits:

• Reduces polarization and defensiveness
• Opens space for genuine dialogue
• Builds trust and social capital
• Leads to more durable, win-win solutions

10. Speak truth without punishing to encourage real change

Speak the truth but not to punish.

Nonviolent communication. Effective advocacy requires speaking truth while avoiding unnecessary antagonism:

• Clearly state facts and concerns
• Avoid personal attacks or shaming
• Focus on shared goals and positive vision
• Use "I" statements rather than accusatory "you" statements

This approach:

• Keeps lines of communication open
• Reduces defensive reactions
• Maintains moral high ground
• More likely to persuade and create allies

Practical examples:

• Instead of "You're destroying the environment!" try "I'm deeply concerned about the impact these policies will have on our children's future."
• Rather than "Your views are ignorant and dangerous," say "I see this issue differently, and I'm worried about the potential consequences of that approach."

Remember: The goal is to create change, not to prove others wrong or feel morally superior.

Last updated: May 23, 2025