Live Like A Stoic

1. Master the dichotomy of control to achieve peace of mind

"Make it your study then to confront every harsh impression with the words, 'You are but an impression, and not at all what you seem to be.'"

Focus on what you can control. The core principle of Stoicism is the dichotomy of control: some things are within our power, while others are not. By directing our energy and attention only to what we can influence, we free ourselves from unnecessary anxiety and frustration.

Identify your sphere of influence. Recognize that your thoughts, judgments, and actions are within your control, while external events, other people's opinions, and outcomes are not. This distinction allows you to:

• Respond rationally to challenges
• Maintain equanimity in the face of adversity
• Focus on personal growth rather than external validation

Practice acceptance. When faced with situations beyond your control, practice acceptance rather than resistance. This doesn't mean being passive, but rather acknowledging reality and focusing on how you can respond constructively.

2. Practice the three Stoic disciplines: Desire, Action, and Assent

"There are three things in which a man ought to exercise himself who would be wise and good. The first concerns the desires and the aversions, that a man may not fail to get what he desires, and that he may not fall into that which he does not desire."

Discipline of Desire: Train yourself to desire only what is truly within your control and aligns with virtue. This involves:

• Recognizing the impermanence of external things
• Cultivating gratitude for what you have
• Reframing your desires towards character development

Discipline of Action: Act in accordance with reason and virtue, fulfilling your roles and responsibilities in society. This includes:

• Practicing kindness and justice in your interactions
• Fulfilling your duties with excellence
• Contributing positively to your community

Discipline of Assent: Develop the ability to examine your impressions and judgments critically before giving them your assent. This means:

• Questioning your initial reactions to events
• Analyzing your thoughts for cognitive distortions
• Choosing rational responses over emotional reactions

3. Cultivate virtue as the only true good in life

"Virtue is the only good; at any rate there is no good without virtue, and virtue itself is situated in our nobler part, that is, the rational part."

Understand the four cardinal virtues. Stoicism emphasizes four main virtues as the foundation of a good life:

• Wisdom: The ability to navigate complex situations with good judgment
• Justice: Treating others fairly and with kindness
• Courage: Facing challenges and doing what's right despite fear
• Temperance: Exercising moderation and self-control

Prioritize character over external success. Recognize that your character, not your circumstances, determines your well-being. Focus on developing virtuous traits rather than accumulating wealth, status, or pleasure.

Practice virtue in daily life. Look for opportunities to exercise virtue in everyday situations, such as:

• Being patient in traffic
• Showing kindness to a difficult coworker
• Standing up for what's right, even when it's uncomfortable

4. Reframe difficulties as opportunities for growth

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

Adopt a growth mindset. View challenges as opportunities to develop your character and skills, rather than as obstacles to avoid. This perspective shift can transform your experience of adversity.

Practice negative visualization. Regularly imagine losing things you value to:

• Increase gratitude for what you have
• Prepare mentally for potential setbacks
• Reduce anxiety about future uncertainties

Find the silver lining. When faced with difficulties, ask yourself:

• What can I learn from this situation?
• How might this challenge make me stronger?
• What virtues can I practice in response?

5. Develop emotional resilience through rational thinking

"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of things."

Question your judgments. Recognize that your emotional reactions stem from your interpretations of events, not the events themselves. When you feel upset, ask:

• Is this interpretation factual or an assumption?
• Are there alternative explanations?
• How would a wise person view this situation?

Practice cognitive distancing. When experiencing strong emotions, create mental distance by:

• Labeling your thoughts and feelings objectively
• Using third-person self-talk
• Imagining how you'll view the situation in a week, month, or year

Cultivate rational responses. Replace automatic emotional reactions with reasoned responses by:

• Pausing before reacting
• Analyzing the situation objectively
• Choosing a response aligned with your values and long-term goals

6. Embrace impermanence and practice detachment

"When you are about to take something in hand, remind yourself what manner of thing it is."

Recognize the transient nature of all things. Understand that change is constant and nothing lasts forever. This awareness can help you:

• Appreciate what you have while you have it
• Reduce attachment to material possessions
• Cope better with loss and change

Practice voluntary discomfort. Regularly expose yourself to mild discomforts to:

• Increase resilience
• Reduce fear of loss or hardship
• Appreciate simple pleasures more fully

Cultivate healthy detachment. While engaging fully in life, maintain an inner distance from external circumstances by:

• Focusing on your actions rather than outcomes
• Viewing possessions and relationships as "on loan" from the universe
• Regularly reminding yourself of the impermanence of all things

7. Foster a sense of cosmic connectedness

"Constantly regard the universe as one living being, having one substance and one soul."

Contemplate your place in the cosmos. Regularly reflect on your connection to the larger universe to:

• Gain perspective on personal problems
• Cultivate a sense of awe and wonder
• Reduce ego-centric thinking

Practice the view from above. Imagine viewing your life and circumstances from a cosmic perspective to:

• See the bigger picture in challenging situations
• Recognize the interconnectedness of all things
• Cultivate humility and compassion

Align with nature. Strive to live in harmony with the natural order by:

• Accepting what you cannot change
• Fulfilling your role as a rational, social being
• Contributing positively to the world around you

8. Cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness

"Of every action ask yourself, what does it mean for me? Shall I repent of it?"

Practice present-moment awareness. Cultivate the habit of paying attention to your current experience, including:

• Your thoughts and emotions
• Physical sensations
• The environment around you

Conduct regular self-examination. Set aside time daily to reflect on your thoughts, actions, and progress. Ask yourself:

• Did I act in accordance with my values today?
• What can I learn from my mistakes?
• How can I improve tomorrow?

Develop metacognition. Train yourself to observe your own thinking processes by:

• Noticing patterns in your thoughts and reactions
• Questioning your assumptions and beliefs
• Practicing non-judgmental awareness of your mental states

9. Act with intention and in accordance with your roles

"First then we must have these principles ready to our hand. Without them we must do nothing."

Identify your roles and responsibilities. Recognize the various roles you play in life (e.g., parent, professional, citizen) and the duties associated with each.

Act with purpose. Before taking action, pause to consider:

• Is this aligned with my values and principles?
• Am I fulfilling my roles and responsibilities?
• How will this action impact others and myself in the long term?

Practice role ethics. Strive to excel in your various roles by:

• Understanding the virtues associated with each role
• Seeking to embody those virtues in your actions
• Regularly reflecting on how well you're fulfilling your roles

10. Practice empathy and expand your circle of concern

"Each of us is, as it were, circumscribed by many circles; some of which are less, but others larger, and some comprehend, but others are comprehended."

Cultivate empathy. Regularly practice putting yourself in others' shoes to:

• Understand different perspectives
• Reduce judgment and conflict
• Respond more compassionately to others' actions

Expand your circle of concern. Gradually extend your care and consideration to:

• Your immediate family and friends
• Your community and society
• All of humanity and the natural world

Practice acts of kindness. Regularly look for opportunities to:

• Help others without expectation of return
• Show compassion to those who are struggling
• Contribute positively to your community and the world

Last updated: August 10, 2024