Living a Feminist Life

1. Feminism Begins with Sensational Awareness

Feminism is sensational.

Sensing Injustice. Feminism often starts with a visceral reaction to injustice, a feeling of being wronged or a sense that something is amiss. This sensation, though initially unclear, becomes the foundation for feminist consciousness. It's about recognizing inequality and oppression through personal experiences and then seeking to understand the broader structures that perpetuate them.

Memory and the Body. Feminist work often involves revisiting painful memories and piecing together experiences of violence and discrimination. The body becomes a repository of these memories, and sharing them is a way of reclaiming agency and connecting with others who have similar experiences. This process of remembering and redescribing the world is central to becoming a feminist.

Naming the Problem. A crucial step in feminist consciousness is finding the language to articulate the injustices experienced. Words like "sexism" and "racism" provide tools for understanding and challenging the structures of power that shape our lives. This naming process allows individuals to recognize patterns and connect their experiences to a larger collective struggle.

2. Power Operates Through Directionality

This being Mrs. Richard Dalloway: in becoming wife, she loses herself.

Life as a Trajectory. Power often works by directing bodies along specific paths, shaping their desires and limiting their possibilities. Norms and expectations create a sense of what is "normal" or "natural," influencing the choices people make and the directions their lives take. This directionality can be seen in the pressure to conform to gender roles, pursue certain careers, or achieve specific milestones.

Happiness as a Directive. The pursuit of happiness is often presented as a personal goal, but it can also be a powerful tool for social control. Societal expectations about what will make people happy can steer them toward certain paths and away from others. This can be particularly true for women, who may be pressured to prioritize marriage, motherhood, and domesticity over other aspirations.

Resisting Redirection. Becoming aware of how power operates through directionality involves recognizing the forces that shape our lives and making conscious choices about which paths to follow. This may mean challenging societal expectations, questioning norms, and creating alternative ways of living that are more aligned with our values and desires.

3. Willfulness as a Reclaimed Feminist Trait

When you expose a problem you pose a problem.

The Willful Girl. Feminists are often labeled as "willful," a term used to dismiss their challenges to authority and their refusal to conform to societal expectations. This label implies that feminists are simply being stubborn or unreasonable, rather than engaging in legitimate critique. However, feminists can reclaim willfulness as a positive trait, a sign of their commitment to justice and their refusal to be silenced.

Feminist Consciousness. Feminist consciousness involves recognizing how violence is directed and how certain bodies are made responsible for the violence directed against them. This awareness can lead to a desire to challenge the structures of power that perpetuate inequality and injustice. However, speaking out about these issues can be met with resistance and dismissal.

Becoming the Problem. When feminists name problems like sexism and racism, they are often perceived as creating problems themselves. This can lead to feelings of alienation and isolation, as well as attempts to silence or discredit their voices. Despite these challenges, feminists must persist in speaking truth to power and challenging the status quo.

4. Diversity Work Requires Strategic Action

You point to structures; they say it is in your head.

Oblique Relation. Diversity workers are often in an awkward position, appointed by institutions to transform those same institutions. This can lead to a lack of support and resources, as well as resistance from those who benefit from the status quo. Despite these challenges, diversity workers must find ways to navigate the system and advocate for change.

Strategic Communication. Effective diversity work requires careful communication and strategic action. Diversity workers must be able to articulate the importance of diversity and inclusion in ways that resonate with different audiences. This may involve using different language, framing arguments in terms of institutional goals, or building alliances with key stakeholders.

Overcoming Resistance. Diversity work often involves encountering resistance and pushback. This can take the form of denial, dismissal, or outright hostility. To overcome this resistance, diversity workers must be persistent, resilient, and creative in their approaches.

5. Existence as a Form of Political Labor

A question can be out of place: words too.

Being in Question. For those who do not fit neatly into societal norms, existence itself can become a form of political labor. This involves constantly navigating questions about identity, belonging, and legitimacy. It also requires finding ways to resist being defined by others and to assert one's own sense of self.

The Stranger Figure. Those who are perceived as "strangers" or "outsiders" are often subjected to scrutiny and suspicion. This can lead to experiences of discrimination, harassment, and even violence. To navigate these challenges, individuals may engage in "passing," attempting to blend in with the dominant culture to avoid unwanted attention.

Challenging Norms. Despite the pressures to conform, it is important to challenge the norms and expectations that create these experiences of exclusion. This may involve speaking out against injustice, creating spaces for marginalized voices, and advocating for policies that promote equality and inclusion.

6. Brick Walls as Materialized Histories of Power

When you expose a problem you pose a problem.

Hardenings of History. Institutional brick walls represent the materialized histories of power, the ways in which past injustices become embedded in the structures and practices of organizations. These walls can be difficult to dismantle because they are often invisible to those who benefit from them.

Tangibility of Resistance. Diversity work often involves coming up against these brick walls, experiencing the resistance to change in a tangible way. This can be frustrating and exhausting, but it also provides valuable insights into how power operates. By understanding the mechanisms that maintain inequality, diversity workers can develop more effective strategies for challenging them.

The Power of Perception. Perceptions play a crucial role in maintaining institutional walls. When certain bodies are seen as "out of place" or "threatening," it reinforces existing power dynamics and makes it more difficult for them to be included. Challenging these perceptions is essential for creating more equitable and inclusive environments.

7. Fragility and the Costs of Feminist Living

Feminism is at stake in how we generate knowledge; in how we write, in who we cite.

Uneven Distribution of Energy. Living a feminist life can be emotionally and physically draining, as it often involves challenging deeply ingrained social norms and power structures. This can lead to feelings of exhaustion, isolation, and vulnerability. It's important to recognize that the costs of this work are not evenly distributed, with marginalized individuals often bearing a disproportionate burden.

Reclaiming the Past. Feminist work often involves revisiting painful memories and experiences of violence and discrimination. This can be a difficult and retraumatizing process, but it is also essential for understanding the roots of inequality and developing strategies for change. By reclaiming the past, feminists can empower themselves and others to create a more just future.

The Importance of Connection. Despite the challenges and costs of feminist living, it is also a source of strength and connection. By sharing their experiences and building solidarity with others, feminists can create communities of support and resistance. These connections provide a sense of belonging and purpose, helping individuals to navigate the difficulties of living in an unjust world.

8. Feminist Snap as a Necessary Rupture

A significant step for a feminist movement is to recognize what has not ended.

Breaking Points. Feminist snap refers to the moment when individuals reach a breaking point and refuse to tolerate injustice any longer. This can be a sudden and dramatic event, or a gradual realization that leads to a decisive action. Snapping is often a necessary step in challenging oppressive systems and creating new possibilities.

Reclaiming Agency. Feminist snap involves reclaiming agency and refusing to be complicit in one's own oppression. This may mean speaking out against injustice, leaving a harmful relationship, or taking other actions that disrupt the status quo. By snapping, individuals assert their right to self-determination and challenge the forces that seek to control their lives.

Collective Action. Feminist snap is not just an individual act, but a collective phenomenon. When individuals snap, they often inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect that can lead to broader social change. By sharing their stories and supporting each other, feminists can create a powerful force for transformation.

9. Lesbian Feminism as a Willfulness Archive

Citation is feminist memory.

Reclaiming Lesbian Identity. Lesbian feminism involves reclaiming lesbian identity as a source of strength and resistance. This means challenging the erasure and marginalization of lesbians within both mainstream society and feminist movements. It also means celebrating lesbian culture and creating spaces for lesbian community and connection.

Challenging Heteronormativity. Lesbian feminism challenges the heteronormative assumptions that shape social institutions and personal relationships. This involves questioning the idea that heterosexuality is natural or inevitable, and advocating for alternative ways of organizing families, communities, and societies. By challenging heteronormativity, lesbian feminists create space for a wider range of sexualities and gender identities.

Building Feminist Worlds. Lesbian feminism is not just about individual liberation, but about building a more just and equitable world for all. This involves working to dismantle systems of oppression and creating alternative ways of living that are based on feminist values. By centering the experiences and perspectives of lesbians, lesbian feminism offers valuable insights into how to create a more inclusive and transformative politics.

10. A Killjoy Manifesto: Principles for a Feminist Life

We need to ruin what ruins.

Rejecting Happiness as a Cause. A killjoy manifesto begins by rejecting the idea that happiness should be the primary goal of life. This means challenging the societal pressures to conform to certain norms and expectations in order to achieve happiness. It also means recognizing that the pursuit of happiness can be used to justify inequality and oppression.

Embracing Unhappiness. A killjoy manifesto embraces unhappiness as a necessary part of feminist struggle. This means being willing to challenge injustice, even when it is uncomfortable or unpopular. It also means recognizing that anger, sadness, and other "negative" emotions can be powerful sources of energy and insight.

Building a Killjoy Movement. A killjoy manifesto calls for the creation of a movement of individuals who are willing to challenge power and disrupt the status quo. This movement is based on solidarity, mutual support, and a commitment to creating a more just and equitable world. By embracing the label of "killjoy," feminists can reclaim their power and create a space for resistance and transformation.

Last updated: May 4, 2025