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Losing Ourselves

Losing Ourselves

Learning to Live without a Self
by Jay L. Garfield 2022 224 pages
4.03
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. The self is an illusion, but persons are real

To be a person is to play a role; the person you are is constituted by the multiple roles you play, including family roles, professional roles, roles in networks of friends, and political roles.

The self is a cognitive illusion. We instinctively believe we have an enduring, independent self that is the subject of our experiences and the agent of our actions. However, careful philosophical and scientific investigation reveals this self to be an illusion. There is no unified, unchanging essence at our core.

Persons are real, but conventionally constructed. While the self is illusory, persons are real in a conventional sense. A person is not a substantial entity, but rather a collection of physical and mental processes that cohere into a causally connected continuum. Persons are constituted by their roles and relationships in social contexts.

The self illusion involves believing in:

  • A unitary, unchanging essence
  • An independent subject/agent
  • Something that stands apart from experience
    Persons are characterized by:
  • Constantly changing physical and mental processes
  • Interdependence with others and environment
  • Conventional identity constituted by social roles

2. We are not selves, but interdependent, socially constructed persons

We are not isolated individuals who happen to choose to live together; we are social animals who only become the individuals we do in social contexts that scaffold our flourishing.

We are fundamentally social beings. Humans are an ultrasocial species, biologically programmed for complex social interactions and language use. Our cognitive capacities and sense of self develop through interactions with others from infancy onward.

Our identities emerge through social construction. The specific persons we become are shaped by the social, cultural, and linguistic contexts in which we develop. Our preferences, goals, and ways of thinking are deeply influenced by our social environments. Even our biology is subject to selection pressures from our socially constructed niches.

Key aspects of our social construction:

  • Language shapes thought and self-understanding
  • Cultural norms and practices mold behavior and values
  • Social roles define identity
  • Collective narratives give meaning to our lives
    Biological, psychological, and social levels interact:
  • Biology enables sociality
  • Social structures shape psychology
  • Psychology influences biological evolution

3. Personhood emerges through second-person interactions

To understand ourselves as persons is to understand ourselves as members of communities of persons, and therefore to recognize others as persons as well.

Self-awareness develops through interactions. From infancy, our sense of self emerges through dyadic interactions with caregivers. We first become aware of ourselves as the objects of others' attention and intentions, before developing explicit self-consciousness.

Adult subjectivity is inherently intersubjective. Our mature sense of self and others is mediated by language and social norms. We understand ourselves and others through a process of mutual interpretation governed by shared conventions. Our identities as persons are constituted through participation in linguistic and social practices.

Stages of self-awareness development:

  1. Infant-caregiver dyadic interactions
  2. Recognition of others' intentions and attention
  3. Language acquisition and norm internalization
  4. Adult intersubjective self-understanding
    Key aspects of intersubjective personhood:
  • Mutual recognition as addressors/addressees
  • Shared norms enabling interpretation
  • Socially constituted roles and identities

4. Selflessness enables spontaneity and skillful living

When performing as a virtuoso, one is in what psychologists call a "flow" state. In such a state, one experiences one's action as spontaneous, not as planned or calculated; one's own body, cognitive states, and the objects around one are not objects of reflective awareness, even though in these moments one is perhaps more closely perceptually attuned to the world and to one's own actions than at any other time.

Self-consciousness impedes expert performance. When we are overly focused on ourselves as subjects, it interferes with fluid, skillful engagement with tasks. Novices benefit from self-monitoring, but experts perform best when self-awareness recedes and they become fully immersed in activity.

Nondual awareness enables spontaneous action. In states of flow or expert performance, the sense of a distinct self operating on external objects disappears. Instead, there is a nondual integration of agent, action, and environment. This allows for more fluid, responsive, and effective engagement.

Characteristics of expert/flow states:

  • Absence of explicit self-awareness
  • Nondual integration of subject and object
  • Heightened attunement to task and environment
  • Fluid, spontaneous responsiveness
    Benefits of selfless engagement:
  • Enhanced performance and skill
  • Greater enjoyment and meaning
  • Reduced anxiety and self-consciousness

5. The self illusion distorts our moral landscape

When we see the world this way, moral interest tracks location in relation to ourselves. We take pride of place not only as those whose interests we take to be paramount, but also as those on whom the moral value of everyone else depends. We are each the points of origin of our own moral universes.

Belief in a self promotes egocentrism. When we view ourselves as independent selves, it fosters a self-centered moral perspective. We tend to prioritize our own interests and view others' moral worth in terms of their relation to us.

Egocentrism undermines impartial moral reasoning. This self-centered view conflicts with core ethical principles like impartiality and universal concern. It makes it difficult to consider others' interests as equally important to our own or to adopt an impartial moral point of view.

Problematic aspects of egocentric morality:

  • Prioritizing self-interest over impartial good
  • Valuing others based on relationship to self
  • Difficulty adopting impartial moral perspective
    Ethical principles challenged by egocentrism:
  • Impartiality
  • Universal concern
  • Equal consideration of interests
  • Objectivity in moral reasoning

6. Abandoning the self leads to ethical cultivation

To see ourselves as interacting persons allows us to consider the causes and reasons for our own behavior and attitudes, as well as those of others, and encourages us to resolve problems rather than to recriminate, to ameliorate situations rather than to punish, and to cultivate attitudes that make everyone more effective and happy.

Recognizing interdependence fosters empathy. When we understand ourselves as interdependent persons rather than independent selves, it becomes easier to empathize with others and consider their perspectives. We recognize our shared participation in social contexts.

Selflessness promotes ethical attitudes. Buddhist ethics emphasizes cultivating attitudes like friendliness, care, sympathetic joy, and impartiality. These attitudes naturally arise when we abandon the illusion of an independent self and recognize our interdependence with others.

Ethical attitudes fostered by selflessness:

  1. Friendliness: Wishing well for others' sake
  2. Care: Acting to alleviate others' suffering
  3. Sympathetic joy: Taking pleasure in others' success
  4. Impartiality: Extending equal concern to all
    Benefits of selfless ethical perspective:
  • Increased empathy and compassion
  • Reduced blame and punishment
  • Focus on problem-solving and situational improvement
  • Greater concern for collective flourishing

7. Our lives have meaning as selfless persons in a shared world

To see ourselves as persons rather than as selves allows us a richer, more nuanced understanding of who we are, of how we become who we are, and of the importance of our development and social context to our identity.

Meaning emerges through social participation. Our lives gain meaning not through the realization of an independent self, but through our participation in shared social practices, narratives, and relationships. We find purpose by playing our roles in a collective human drama.

Selflessness enables fuller engagement with life. Abandoning the self illusion allows for a more direct, spontaneous engagement with the world and others. We can more fully inhabit our roles and relationships without the constant self-conscious monitoring that the self illusion promotes.

Sources of meaning in selfless personhood:

  • Participation in shared social practices
  • Fulfillment of social roles and responsibilities
  • Contribution to collective narratives and projects
  • Direct, spontaneous engagement with life
    Contrasts with self-centered meaning:
  • Not about individual achievement or self-realization
  • Meaning found in interdependence, not independence
  • Focus on contribution and participation, not personal gain
  • Embracing change and impermanence, not fixed identity

Last updated:

FAQ

What is Losing Ourselves: Learning to Live without a Self by Jay L. Garfield about?

  • Central Thesis: The book challenges the common belief in a permanent, independent self, arguing instead that we are "selfless persons" embedded in social and causal networks.
  • Philosophical Exploration: Garfield draws on Buddhist, Daoist, and Western philosophical traditions to examine the origins and implications of the self-illusion.
  • Practical and Ethical Focus: The book explores how understanding ourselves as persons rather than selves can transform our ethical lives, relationships, and sense of identity.
  • Metaphysical and Ethical Inquiry: It investigates both what we are (metaphysics) and how this impacts how we should live (ethics).

Why should I read Losing Ourselves by Jay L. Garfield?

  • Challenging Intuitions: The book invites readers to question deeply held assumptions about identity and selfhood, offering a fresh perspective on what it means to be a person.
  • Cross-Cultural Insights: Garfield’s synthesis of Buddhist, Daoist, and Western thought provides a rich, comparative philosophical dialogue.
  • Practical Relevance: The arguments have direct implications for ethical living, personal growth, and how we relate to others.
  • Accessible Philosophy: Garfield presents complex ideas in a clear, engaging manner, making profound philosophical debates accessible to a broad audience.

What are the key takeaways from Losing Ourselves by Jay L. Garfield?

  • Self as Illusion: The enduring, independent self is a cognitive and cultural illusion; we are instead socially constructed persons.
  • Ethical Transformation: Letting go of the self-illusion fosters compassion, humility, and more effective ethical engagement.
  • Narrative and Personhood: Our identities are shaped by narratives and social interactions, not by a fixed inner core.
  • Practical Benefits: Abandoning self-centeredness enhances performance, relationships, and overall well-being.

How does Jay L. Garfield define "self" and "person" in Losing Ourselves?

  • Self as Illusory Entity: The self is traditionally seen as a singular, enduring, independent subject, but Garfield argues this is a metaphysical fiction.
  • Person as Social Construct: A person is a complex, embodied, and socially embedded being, constituted by biological, psychological, and social factors.
  • Key Distinction: Confusing self with person leads to misunderstanding our nature; Garfield reserves "self" for the illusory entity and "person" for our real, constructed identity.
  • Role of Social Context: Personhood is enacted and sustained through social roles, narratives, and interactions.

What are the main philosophical influences in Losing Ourselves by Jay L. Garfield?

  • Buddhist Philosophy: Garfield draws heavily on Indian Buddhist thinkers, especially Candrakīrti, to argue against the existence of a permanent self.
  • Western Philosophy: He engages with David Hume’s bundle theory and critiques from Descartes and Kant regarding the necessity of a self.
  • Daoist Thought: The story of Butcher Ding illustrates nondual awareness and the dissolution of subject-object duality.
  • Comparative Approach: The book emphasizes the value of cross-cultural philosophical dialogue in understanding selfhood.

What are the Buddhist arguments against the existence of the self in Losing Ourselves?

  • Chariot Analogy: Like a chariot, a person is not identical to any part or the sum of parts, but is a conventional designation for a collection of processes.
  • Flame Analogy: Personal identity is like a flame passed from lamp to lamp—there is causal continuity but no enduring, unchanging self.
  • No-Self as Conventional Existence: The self is a construct dependent on social and cognitive practices, not an independent, permanent entity.
  • Ethical Implications: Recognizing no-self undercuts egoism and supports compassion and interdependence.

How does David Hume’s view on the self relate to Garfield’s argument in Losing Ourselves?

  • Bundle Theory: Hume argues that the self is just a bundle of perceptions and experiences, with no underlying subject.
  • No Coherent Idea of Self: Hume claims the notion of a self is incoherent, similar to a "round square."
  • Conventional Identity: Personal identity is a matter of convention and causal continuity, not a persisting self.
  • Alignment with Garfield: Garfield’s thesis closely parallels Hume’s skepticism about the metaphysical self.

What is the "illusion of the self" according to Jay L. Garfield in Losing Ourselves?

  • Four Ingredients: The self is thought to have priority, unity, subject-object duality, and agency, but these are cognitive illusions.
  • Transcendental Subject: The self is experienced as a subject outside the world, but this is a constructed illusion.
  • Neuroscientific Support: Modern neuroscience finds no central ego or unified self in the brain, only distributed processes.
  • Practical Consequences: The illusion fosters egoism and distorts ethical perception.

How does Losing Ourselves by Jay L. Garfield address the concept of agency and free will?

  • Illusion of Agent Causation: The belief in a self as a free, independent agent is a metaphysical and theological construct.
  • Embedded Agency: Agency is better understood as arising from persons embedded in causal and social networks.
  • Moral Implications: This view reduces unjustified pride and anger, and reframes responsibility in terms of causes and conditions.
  • Compassion and Understanding: Recognizing embedded agency encourages compassion and a more nuanced view of moral responsibility.

What is the significance of narrative and social interaction in personhood according to Losing Ourselves?

  • Narrative Construction: Persons are constituted through narratives that make sense of actions, intentions, and life arcs.
  • Social Embeddedness: Personhood arises and is sustained through recognition and interaction with others, starting in infancy.
  • Interpretative Identity: Our sense of self is shaped by ongoing social norms, language, and mutual interpretation.
  • Fluid, Non-fixed Identity: Recognizing the narrative and social basis of personhood prevents reification and supports a flexible identity.

What are the four divine states (brahmavihāras) and their ethical importance in Losing Ourselves by Jay L. Garfield?

  • Friendliness: Wishing well for others impartially, countering hostility and partial affection.
  • Care: Acting to alleviate suffering for its own sake, not out of pity or self-interest.
  • Sympathetic Joy: Taking pleasure in others’ success without envy or partiality.
  • Impartiality: Extending equal moral concern to all, embodying the abandonment of egocentricity.
  • Moral Ideal: Together, these states represent a selfless moral landscape that counters the distortions caused by the self illusion.

What are the practical benefits of abandoning the self illusion, according to Losing Ourselves by Jay L. Garfield?

  • Enhanced Performance: Letting go of self-consciousness enables fluid, expert action and spontaneous engagement (flow states).
  • Improved Ethics: Shedding the self illusion fosters compassion, reduces anger and blame, and encourages understanding of others as causally embedded persons.
  • Richer Identity: Embracing personhood grounded in social interaction and narrative allows for a meaningful, flexible life.
  • Flourishing Life: Garfield concludes that accepting selflessness is key to reclaiming our humanity and leading a flourishing life.

Review Summary

4.03 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Losing Ourselves receives mixed reviews, with praise for its clear explanations of Buddhist concepts and philosophical arguments against the self. Many readers find it thought-provoking and enlightening, particularly in the early chapters. However, some critics note that the book becomes less engaging in later sections, with insufficient practical advice and overly complex philosophical arguments. While some readers appreciate Garfield's approach to ethics and personhood, others find these discussions lacking depth or relevance to contemporary issues.

Your rating:
4.47
25 ratings

About the Author

Jay L. Garfield is a distinguished philosopher and scholar specializing in Buddhist studies. He holds a visiting professorship at Harvard Divinity School and has taught philosophy at numerous universities. Garfield is known for his expertise in Buddhist philosophy, particularly the concept of emptiness and non-self. He has authored several books on Buddhist thought and its relationship to Western philosophy. Garfield's work often seeks to bridge Eastern and Western philosophical traditions, making complex Buddhist ideas accessible to Western audiences. His approach combines rigorous philosophical analysis with insights from cognitive science and psychology to explore the nature of self and consciousness.

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