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Made You Up

Made You Up

by Francesca Zappia 2015 428 pages
4.02
30.1K ratings
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Plot Summary

Lobster Tank Beginnings

Childhood delusions and first friendship

Alex Ridgemont, a young girl with vivid red hair and a mind teetering between reality and hallucination, finds comfort in the lobster tank at the grocery store. There, she meets a boy with striking blue eyes—her first real friend, or so she believes. Their brief, magical connection is marked by a shared mission to "free the lobsters," a moment that will haunt and shape Alex's understanding of what is real. This formative encounter, tinged with the surreal, sets the tone for Alex's lifelong struggle to distinguish between her imagination and the world around her, and plants the seeds for the story's central relationship.

Reality's Unreliable Edges

Schizophrenia blurs Alex's world

Diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at a young age, Alex's life is a constant battle to separate hallucination from reality. She develops coping mechanisms—like taking photographs to see what remains real over time—and becomes hyper-vigilant, performing "perimeter checks" and obsessively monitoring her environment. Her family, especially her mother, is both protective and exasperated, pushing her toward therapy and medication. Alex's internal monologue is laced with humor and self-doubt, as she navigates a world that is often more vivid, frightening, and unpredictable than it is for her peers.

New School, Old Fears

Starting over at East Shoal High

After an incident at her previous school, Alex transfers to East Shoal High, determined to keep her illness a secret and appear "normal." She quickly discovers that East Shoal is a microcosm of high school weirdness: there's a cult-like obsession with the school's scoreboard, a cast of eccentric students, and a strict social hierarchy. Alex's paranoia is heightened by the unfamiliar environment, but she finds a tentative ally in Tucker, a conspiracy-loving classmate, and is forced into community service with the school's Athletics Support Club—a group of misfits led by the enigmatic Miles Richter.

Blue Eyes Returns

A familiar stranger disrupts Alex's reality

Alex is stunned to discover that Miles, the club's leader, is the spitting image of her childhood "Blue Eyes." Their interactions are fraught with tension, suspicion, and a strange sense of déjà vu. Miles is brilliant, abrasive, and feared by the entire school for his willingness to run "jobs" (pranks, sabotage, and revenge) for money. As Alex and Miles are repeatedly thrown together—first as lab partners, then as reluctant allies in the club—their relationship oscillates between antagonism and reluctant trust, complicated by Alex's uncertainty about what is real and what is a product of her mind.

Paranoia and Pranks

Battles, betrayals, and blurred lines

Alex and Miles engage in a series of escalating pranks and mind games, each trying to assert control and test the boundaries of their uneasy alliance. The club's other members—Theo, the triplets, Jetta, and Art—each have their own quirks and secrets, but together they form a dysfunctional found family. Meanwhile, Alex's paranoia intensifies as she becomes the target of bullying, suspicion, and her own intrusive thoughts. The line between friend and foe blurs, especially as Miles's own vulnerabilities and traumatic home life come to light.

Club of Misfits

Community service and unlikely friendships

Forced to work together, the club members bond over shared outsider status and mutual distrust of the school's authority figures. Alex learns the backstories of her peers: Theo's overbearing parents, Jetta's language struggles, Art's loyalty, and the triplets' mischief. The club becomes a safe haven for Alex, even as she continues to question her perceptions. Miles's leadership is both a shield and a burden, as he uses his reputation to protect the club while isolating himself emotionally.

Rivalries and Reputations

School politics and personal vendettas

The social dynamics at East Shoal are dominated by rivalries—between schools, cliques, and individuals. Celia, a popular but troubled cheerleader, becomes obsessed with Miles, while Alex is targeted for her red hair and outsider status. The school's obsession with the scoreboard, fueled by Principal McCoy's bizarre rituals, takes on a sinister edge. Rumors, secrets, and betrayals swirl, culminating in a series of confrontations that force Alex to confront both external threats and her own internal demons.

Bonfire Breakdown

A party spirals into chaos and crisis

At a pivotal bonfire party, tensions explode. Celia's jealousy and instability lead to a dangerous incident, and Alex experiences a terrifying hallucination that blurs the line between reality and delusion. The aftermath leaves Alex hospitalized, her secret exposed, and her relationships with Miles and the club fractured. The event marks a turning point, as Alex is forced to reckon with the consequences of her illness and the limits of her coping strategies.

Hallucinations and Heartbreak

Loss, revelation, and the cost of secrets

As Alex recovers, she grapples with the fallout from the bonfire and the growing realization that some of her most cherished relationships—including her bond with her younger sister, Charlie—may not be real. The revelation that Charlie is a hallucination is devastating, shattering Alex's sense of self and trust in her own mind. Meanwhile, Miles's own traumas come to the fore, and the two find solace in each other's brokenness, forging a fragile but genuine connection.

The Scoreboard's Shadow

Unraveling the school's darkest secrets

Alex, Miles, and Tucker investigate the school's history and the legend of the scoreboard, uncovering a web of obsession, abuse, and cover-ups involving Principal McCoy, Celia, and the mysterious Scarlet. The investigation reveals that McCoy's fixation on the scoreboard and Celia is rooted in past tragedy and unaddressed mental illness. As the truth comes to light, the danger escalates, culminating in a life-threatening confrontation during the school's awards ceremony.

Truths, Trauma, and Trust

Confrontation, collapse, and survival

In a climactic sequence, the scoreboard collapses during the ceremony, nearly killing Alex and Miles. The event exposes McCoy's crimes and Celia's victimization, forcing the school and community to confront the realities of mental illness, abuse, and the cost of silence. Alex's act of bravery cements her place among her peers, but the trauma leaves lasting scars—both physical and emotional. The aftermath is a period of reckoning, healing, and difficult choices.

The Collapse and Aftermath

Hospitalization, healing, and hard goodbyes

Alex and Miles recover in the hospital, surrounded by friends and family. The truth about their struggles, secrets, and strengths is finally acknowledged. Alex's parents, grappling with guilt and love, agree to let her attend graduation before she is admitted to a psychiatric hospital for further treatment. The club rallies around her, and Miles's own journey toward healing and self-acceptance begins. Their relationship, forged in adversity, becomes a source of hope and resilience.

Recovery and Revelations

Letting go and moving forward

Alex's time in the hospital is marked by reflection, therapy, and the slow process of rebuilding trust in herself and others. She learns to accept the parts of her mind that are unreliable, while cherishing the connections that are real. Miles visits her regularly, and their bond deepens as they support each other's recovery. The club members move on with their lives, but the impact of their shared experiences lingers.

Breaking and Healing

Graduation, closure, and new beginnings

Alex is allowed to attend graduation, where Miles delivers a powerful valedictory speech about survival, forgiveness, and the importance of connection. Tucker, now reconciled with Alex, offers his own words of wisdom. The ceremony is both a farewell and a celebration of resilience. Alex's departure for the psychiatric hospital is bittersweet, but she leaves with a sense of hope and the knowledge that she is not alone.

Graduation and Goodbye

Love, loss, and the promise of freedom

As Alex prepares to leave the hospital, she reflects on her journey—the pain, the joy, the hallucinations, and the friendships that sustained her. Miles is waiting for her, ready to begin a new chapter together. The story ends where it began: with the freeing of the lobsters, a symbol of hope, release, and the possibility of a life beyond the confines of illness and fear.

Freeing the Lobsters

Embracing reality, embracing love

In the final scene, Alex steps into the sunlight, suitcase in hand, and finds Miles waiting for her. Their reunion is a testament to the power of love, acceptance, and the courage to face the unknown. The lobsters—once trapped, now free—serve as a metaphor for Alex's own journey: from the depths of confusion and isolation to the possibility of connection, healing, and a future she can claim as her own.

Characters

Alexandra "Alex" Ridgemont

Unreliable narrator, fierce survivor

Alex is a high school senior living with paranoid schizophrenia, whose life is a constant negotiation between reality and hallucination. Her sharp wit, self-deprecating humor, and relentless vigilance are both her armor and her prison. Alex's relationships—with her family, friends, and especially Miles—are shaped by her fear of being "crazy" and her desperate desire for normalcy. Her journey is one of self-acceptance, learning to trust others, and finding meaning in a world that often feels hostile and incomprehensible. Alex's psychological complexity is the heart of the novel, as she navigates trauma, loss, and the possibility of love.

Miles Richter

Enigmatic genius, wounded protector

Miles is the club's leader, a brilliant but emotionally distant student with a reputation for running "jobs" and instilling fear in his peers. Beneath his abrasive exterior lies a history of abuse, neglect, and profound loneliness. Miles's struggle with alexithymia (difficulty identifying and expressing emotions) mirrors Alex's own battles with perception and reality. Their relationship is a dance of mutual recognition and healing, as each helps the other confront their deepest wounds. Miles's journey from isolation to connection is marked by moments of vulnerability, courage, and ultimately, hope.

Tucker Beaumont

Loyal friend, conspiracy theorist

Tucker is Alex's first real friend at East Shoal, a quirky, intelligent student obsessed with conspiracies and history. His humor and kindness provide a counterbalance to the darkness in Alex's life. Tucker's own insecurities and past friendship with Miles add layers to his character, as he navigates jealousy, forgiveness, and the complexities of loyalty. His willingness to stand by Alex, even when she hurts him, is a testament to the power of friendship.

Celia Hendricks

Popular girl, secret victim

Celia is initially portrayed as a stereotypical mean girl, obsessed with status and Miles. As the story unfolds, her own trauma and victimization at the hands of McCoy and her mother are revealed. Celia's breakdown and eventual plea for help highlight the novel's themes of hidden pain, the dangers of silence, and the need for compassion. Her relationship with Alex evolves from antagonism to mutual understanding, as both girls confront the realities of their struggles.

Principal McCoy

Charismatic authority, dangerous obsession

McCoy is the principal of East Shoal, whose outward charm masks a deep-seated obsession with the school's scoreboard and a history of predatory behavior. His manipulation of Celia and fixation on the past drive much of the novel's suspense. McCoy embodies the dangers of unchecked power, denial, and the ways institutions can fail to protect the vulnerable.

Charlie Ridgemont

Imaginary sister, symbol of loss

Charlie, Alex's younger sister, is a vibrant, precocious presence throughout much of the novel—until it is revealed that she is a hallucination, a manifestation of Alex's grief and longing. Charlie's "disappearance" is a devastating blow, forcing Alex to confront the full extent of her illness and the pain of losing someone she loved. Charlie represents both the comfort and the peril of living in one's own mind.

Theo Light

Pragmatic organizer, hidden strength

Theo is a member of the club, known for her competence, dry humor, and ability to get things done. She provides stability and support for Alex and the others, while dealing with her own family pressures. Theo's friendship with Alex is marked by honesty, loyalty, and a shared sense of being outsiders.

Jetta Lorenc

Multilingual outsider, empathetic ally

Jetta, a French exchange student, struggles with language barriers and cultural differences, but finds acceptance in the club. Her warmth, humor, and resilience make her a vital part of the group's dynamic. Jetta's ability to connect with Miles in German provides a bridge between him and the rest of the club.

Art Babrow

Gentle giant, steadfast friend

Art is the club's muscle, a physically imposing but emotionally sensitive student who often acts as a protector for the group. His loyalty and kindness are contrasted with the violence and chaos around him, making him a grounding presence.

The Light Triplets (Evan, Ian, and Theo)

Mischievous siblings, comic relief

Evan and Ian, along with their sister Theo, provide humor, chaos, and unexpected wisdom. Their antics and sibling rivalry add levity to the story, while their loyalty to the club underscores the importance of chosen family.

Plot Devices

Unreliable Narration and Hallucination

Blurring reality and delusion to immerse the reader in Alex's mind

The novel's most powerful device is its use of unreliable narration, as Alex's schizophrenia makes it impossible for both her and the reader to distinguish what is real. Hallucinations—ranging from talking lobsters to entire relationships—are woven seamlessly into the narrative, creating suspense, empathy, and a profound sense of vulnerability. This device not only drives the plot but also deepens the reader's understanding of mental illness.

Symbolism of the Lobster Tank and Scoreboard

Physical objects as metaphors for entrapment and freedom

The lobster tank, introduced in the opening scene, symbolizes Alex's sense of being trapped by her mind and circumstances. The act of "freeing the lobsters" becomes a recurring motif for hope, agency, and the possibility of escape. The scoreboard, meanwhile, represents the weight of the past, the dangers of obsession, and the destructive power of secrets. Both objects anchor the novel's themes and provide emotional resonance.

Parallel Traumas and Mirrored Relationships

Intertwining character arcs to explore healing and connection

Alex and Miles's stories mirror each other: both are shaped by trauma, isolation, and the struggle to trust others. Their relationship is built on mutual recognition and the slow, painful process of letting someone in. The novel uses parallel plotlines—such as the revelation of family secrets, confrontations with authority, and moments of crisis—to highlight the universality of pain and the possibility of healing.

Mystery and Suspense Structure

Layered revelations and escalating stakes

The narrative unfolds as a mystery, with Alex, Miles, and Tucker investigating the school's secrets, McCoy's past, and the truth about Celia and Scarlet. Clues are revealed through research, confrontation, and personal discovery, building tension and propelling the story toward its dramatic climax. The use of foreshadowing, red herrings, and shifting perspectives keeps the reader engaged and uncertain, mirroring Alex's own experience.

Humor and Self-Awareness

Balancing darkness with wit and resilience

Despite its heavy themes, the novel is laced with humor, sarcasm, and moments of levity. Alex's voice is sharp, irreverent, and deeply self-aware, providing relief from the tension and inviting the reader to root for her survival. This tonal balance is essential to the story's impact, making the moments of pain and triumph all the more powerful.

Analysis

Made You Up is a masterful exploration of mental illness, trauma, and the search for connection in a world that often feels hostile and incomprehensible. Through Alex's unreliable narration, the novel immerses the reader in the lived experience of schizophrenia, challenging assumptions about reality, truth, and what it means to be "crazy." The story's heart lies in its depiction of resilience: the courage to keep going, to trust others, and to find meaning even when the world seems determined to break you. The relationships—especially between Alex and Miles—are nuanced, messy, and deeply human, offering hope without sentimentality. The novel's use of symbolism, humor, and suspense elevates it beyond a typical coming-of-age story, making it a powerful meditation on the importance of empathy, the dangers of silence, and the possibility of freedom. Ultimately, Made You Up reminds us that everyone is fighting battles we cannot see, and that love, in all its forms, is both the hardest and most necessary thing to believe in.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.02 out of 5
Average of 30.1K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Made You Up received mostly positive reviews, with readers praising its unique portrayal of schizophrenia, complex characters, and unpredictable plot twists. Many found the story compelling and emotionally engaging, particularly appreciating the slow-burn romance between Alex and Miles. Some critics felt the representation of schizophrenia was inaccurate or romanticized. The book's exploration of reality versus hallucination intrigued readers, though a few found certain plot elements unrealistic. Overall, reviewers commended the author's writing style and the book's ability to provoke thought about mental illness.

Your rating:
4.74
15 ratings

About the Author

Francesca Zappia is the author of Made You Up and Eliza and Her Monsters. She is represented by Louise Fury of the Bent Agency. Zappia also wrote The Children of Hypnos serial on Wattpad. Her social media handle is @ChessieZappia, and links to all her social media platforms can be found on her website, www.francescazappia.com. Zappia's work in young adult fiction has garnered attention for its exploration of mental health themes and complex characters. Her debut novel, Made You Up, received particular praise for its portrayal of schizophrenia, while Eliza and Her Monsters tackled themes of online creativity and social anxiety.

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