Manage Your Mood

1. Depression is a Treatable Condition, Not a Personal Weakness

No human on the planet is completely guaranteed to avoid depression in the course of their life.

A common experience. Depression is a distressing and painful emotional problem, affecting 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men at some point in their lives. It's a widespread issue, not a sign of personal failure or weakness. While everyone feels down occasionally, clinical depression is a persistent state that significantly interferes with daily life, lasting at least two weeks with symptoms like persistent sadness, loss of pleasure, and changes in sleep or appetite.

Recognizing symptoms. To gauge if you're experiencing depression, look for a persistent low mood or loss of interest in normal pleasures, coupled with at least two to four of these symptoms:

• Significant weight change or appetite change
• Sleep difficulties (insomnia or excessive sleep)
• Agitation or irritability
• Tiredness or loss of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
• Reduced concentration or self-esteem
• A bleak, pessimistic view of the future
• Suicidal thoughts or attempts

Severity and treatment. Depression is classified as mild, moderate, or severe based on its impact on your life. Mild depression often improves with "watchful waiting" or focused counseling, while moderate to severe cases typically benefit from more active treatments like psychological therapies or medication. The core message is hope: depression is treatable, and you can regain control of your life.

2. Your "Solutions" to Depression Often Become the Problem

When your solutions are the problem.

The "shovel" analogy. Many people, when depressed, instinctively try to "dig their way out" of their emotional hole, but their chosen methods often make things worse. This is like being blindfolded in a field, falling into a hole, and using the only tool you find—a shovel—to dig, only to realize you're digging yourself deeper. Your attempts to control or escape uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, or to solve insoluble problems, are the "shovel."

Unhelpful coping mechanisms. Common "solutions" that backfire include:

• Avoidance: Withdrawing from social activities, neglecting self-care, putting off tasks, or ignoring calls.
• Excessive behaviors: Over-watching TV, excessive drinking, comfort-eating, or prolonged sleeping.
• Mental "digging": Ruminating on past events ("Why did this happen?"), worrying about non-existent future problems ("What if...?"), or self-attacking thoughts ("I'm a failure").

Short-term payoff, long-term cost. These behaviors provide temporary relief or distraction, making them feel "successful" in the short term. However, they prevent you from engaging in life's rewarding experiences, reinforce negative beliefs, and ultimately deepen your depression. The goal is to "drop the shovel" – stop these unhelpful coping strategies – to find more effective ways out of the hole.

3. Change Your Relationship with Your Thoughts, Don't Just Fight Them

Learning to accept these negative thoughts willingly as ‘just thoughts’ and not buying into them as true has been proved by numerous studies to be an important part of overcoming depression.

Thoughts are not facts. When depressed, your mind often produces negative thoughts about yourself, your past, and your future. The crucial insight is that these are "just thoughts" or "mental events," not objective reality. "Emotional reasoning" or "thought fusion" occurs when you mistakenly believe your feelings or thoughts are facts (e.g., "I feel worthless, therefore I am worthless").

Distancing and labeling. Instead of trying to suppress or "fix" these thoughts, the aim is to develop a different relationship with them. This involves:

• Labeling: Acknowledging the thought by saying, "I am having a thought that..." (e.g., "I am having a thought that the future is hopeless").
• Observing: Imagining thoughts as leaves floating down a stream or cars passing on a road, observing them without engaging or judging.
• Refocusing attention: Shifting focus from internal chatter to the external world or the task at hand, which gives your brain a rest.

Breaking the cycle. Trying to suppress thoughts often makes them more intrusive, like trying not to think of a "pink elephant." By accepting their presence without buying into their message, you reduce their power. This approach, rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), allows you to experience uncomfortable thoughts and feelings while still acting in ways that align with your values.

4. Activate Yourself: Act Against How You Feel, Guided by Your Values

Activating yourself means acting against the way you feel.

Counteracting inactivity. Inactivity is a hallmark of depression, creating a vicious cycle where less activity leads to more lethargy and less satisfaction. Behavioral Activation (BA) is a proven strategy that involves deliberately engaging in activities, even when you don't feel motivated, to break this cycle. The principle is simple: "Act first, then your depression will improve."

Understanding your values. Before planning activities, identify your core values – what you want your life to stand for. Values are like a compass, guiding your direction, while goals are specific steps along that path. For example, if "being a good parent" is a value, a goal might be "spend 30 minutes playing with my child daily." This ensures your actions are meaningful, not just "activity for activity's sake."

Planning and execution.

• Identify avoided activities: List what you've cut down on or avoided since becoming depressed (socializing, hobbies, self-care, work tasks).
• Schedule activities: Create a detailed timetable, incorporating small, realistic steps that align with your values and address avoided behaviors. Treat these as non-negotiable appointments.
• Monitor progress: Track what you actually do and its effect on your mood and progress towards your goals.

Golden rules of BA: Build gradually, relate activities to your functional analysis, keep moving in your valued direction, and incorporate a range of activities (physical, social, self-care). The key is consistent action, even when your mind tells you there's "no point."

5. Identify and Overcome Common Obstacles to Taking Action

You may know in your mind what you need to do but nevertheless have problems putting that knowledge into action.

Mind's "traps." Even with a clear plan, your mind can present obstacles that prevent you from activating yourself. These "traps" are often rooted in fear or a reluctance to experience discomfort, but they ultimately maintain your depression. Recognizing them is the first step to overcoming them.

Common traps to watch out for:

• The Comfort Trap: "I'll do it when I feel motivated" or "I need to feel better first." This puts the cart before the horse; action leads to motivation, not the other way around.
• The Guarantee Trap: "I must be certain this approach will work before I put in effort." There are no guarantees, but inaction guarantees prolonged depression.
• Pride: "It's too embarrassing to ask for help" or "I should be able to fix this myself." This often stems from shame and prevents seeking necessary support.
• The "If Only" Trap: "If only X were different, I could cope." This externalizes control and prevents taking responsibility for your reactions.
• The "Yes But" Trap: "I want to go out, but I feel down." Replace "but" with "and" to acknowledge feelings while still acting.
• The Perfectionism Trap: "I must do it perfectly or not at all." Aim for "good enough" and accept that mistakes are part of the process.
• The "I've Tried It All Before" Trap: Past failures don't predict future success, especially with a new, structured approach.
• The "Good Reason to Be Depressed" Trap: Believing your circumstances justify inaction. While sadness is normal, prolonged depression requires active coping.

Act despite the traps. The solution is to identify these mental blocks, understand their short-term payoff and long-term cost, and then choose to act consistently with your plan and values, regardless of how you feel or what your mind tells you.

6. Prioritize Fundamental Lifestyle Habits for Mood Improvement

Giving your brain and body regular and healthy food is an important step you can take to give yourself the best conditions for recovering from mood swings.

Holistic well-being. Beyond direct behavioral activation, improving fundamental lifestyle habits significantly supports mood recovery. Inactivity, poor diet, and disturbed sleep are common symptoms of depression that can also perpetuate it. Addressing these areas provides a strong foundation for overall well-being.

Key lifestyle areas:

• Sleep: Establish a strict routine (same wake-up time daily, even weekends), avoid daytime naps, and create a restful bedroom environment. If you wake up, get out of bed and do something boring until sleepy again. Avoid caffeine and alcohol in the evenings.
• Diet: Combat both loss of appetite and comfort-eating. Eat regularly, even small amounts, focusing on low Glycaemic Load (GL) foods (e.g., whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, vegetables) to stabilize blood sugar. Minimize unhealthy fats (trans-fats, excessive saturated fats).
• Exercise: Any physical activity is better than none. It boosts energy, reduces stress, and counteracts withdrawal. Match activities to your personality (e.g., team sports for sociable types, yoga for non-competitive). Start gradually and plan it into your schedule.

Functional analysis for habits. For each habit, perform a functional analysis to understand its triggers, immediate payoffs, and unintended long-term consequences. This helps you see how seemingly comforting behaviors (like napping or comfort-eating) can worsen your mood over time.

7. Address Substance Use and Compulsive Behaviors as Forms of Avoidance

Your solution can be the problem and cause you to be more depressed in the long term.

Temporary relief, lasting harm. Many people turn to substances (alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco) or compulsive behaviors (shopping, gambling, excessive screen time) to numb painful emotions or distract from problems. While these provide temporary escape, they ultimately deepen depression and create new problems, reinforcing a vicious cycle of avoidance.

Common problematic behaviors:

• Alcohol: A depressant that numbs emotions but causes hangovers, fatigue, and worsens depression long-term. Excessive use (over 21 units/week for men, 14 for women) or binge drinking is problematic.
• Illegal Substances: Cannabis can cause lack of motivation, anxiety, and even psychosis. Stimulants like cocaine and amphetamines lead to crashes, paranoia, and physical dangers. Ecstasy can cause prolonged mood problems. There are no "safe limits" for these when depressed.
• Compulsive Shopping/Gambling: These often hide underlying depression, leading to financial ruin and increased shame.
• Excessive Screen Time/Workaholism: Can be used to block out thoughts and feelings, leading to isolation, neglect of responsibilities, and burnout.

Breaking the cycle. The first step is a functional analysis to understand the triggers and consequences of these behaviors. Then, set clear goals, often abstinence, as moderation can be difficult. Replace these behaviors with activities aligned with your values, enlist support from friends or professionals, and be prepared for withdrawal symptoms.

8. Understand Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts as Temporary, Manageable States

Suicide would be a permanent (and devastating) solution to a temporary problem.

Distinguishing self-harm and suicide. Self-harm (e.g., cutting) is often an impulsive act to cope with overwhelming distress, reduce tension, or feel "real," without intent to die. Suicidal thoughts, while common in depression, are a serious symptom driven by intense hopelessness and a desire to escape perceived unbearable pain. Most people with suicidal thoughts do not act on them.

Managing self-harm. If you self-harm, understand its function (e.g., emotional numbing). Seek professional help, as it often co-occurs with complex issues. Alternatives include:

• Squeezing a stress ball or ice
• Listening to loud music
• Using body paint instead of cutting
• Engaging in art or exercise
• Talking to a trusted friend or helpline

Addressing suicidal thoughts. If suicidal thoughts become persistent, specific, or accompanied by plans, seek immediate professional help (doctor, therapist, emergency services, helplines). Remember:

• Thoughts are not commands: They are mental events, not reality.
• Memory bias: Depression distorts memory, making it harder to recall past coping strategies or positive experiences.
• Temporary problem: Bad feelings will pass. Suicide is a drastic, irreversible "solution" to a temporary state.

Minimizing risk. Remove means of self-harm, abstain from alcohol/drugs, maintain contact with support, reduce isolation, and create a "Reasons for Living Life" list based on your values. Your life has inherent worth and potential for future joy.

9. Medication is a Valid Option, Especially for Moderate to Severe Depression

Taking antidepressant medication is not a sign of weakness or failure.

Informed choice. Medication can be an effective treatment for moderate to severe depression, often recommended when psychological treatments alone are insufficient or symptoms are severe. It's a pragmatic approach, no different from treating other medical conditions.

Types and effectiveness.

• SSRIs (Selective Serotonergic Reuptake Inhibitors): First-line choice (e.g., fluoxetine, citalopram). They enhance serotonin activity in the brain, reducing anxiety and lifting mood. Generally safe in overdose.
• Other classes: NaSSAs (e.g., mirtazapine, often sedative), SSNRIs (e.g., venlafaxine, duloxetine), SNRIs (e.g., reboxetine), NDRIs (e.g., bupropion), and older Tricyclics (more side effects, higher overdose risk).
• Combination therapy: Often, combining medication with psychological treatment (like Behavioral Activation) yields better long-term results and reduces relapse risk.

Side effects and duration. Antidepressants take 3-4 weeks to show initial improvement and up to 12 weeks for full benefit. Side effects (nausea, headache, sexual dysfunction) are common initially but often subside, except for sexual issues. Never stop medication suddenly due to potential withdrawal symptoms; always consult your doctor for a gradual reduction plan. For recurrent depression, long-term medication (years) may be advised to prevent relapse.

Last updated: August 11, 2025