Meditations for Mortals

1. Embrace Finitude: Accept Your Limitations to Live More Fully

"The most liberating and empowering and productive step you can take, if you want to spend more of your time on the planet doing what matters to you, is to grasp the sense in which life as a finite human being – with limited time, and limited control over that time – is really much worse than you think."

Finitude is a feature, not a bug. Accepting our limitations as human beings – in time, energy, and control – isn't about settling for less. It's about freeing ourselves from the exhausting pursuit of doing it all. When we embrace our finitude:

• We make better choices about where to focus our limited resources
• We stop postponing life until we've "figured it all out"
• We find more satisfaction in what we do accomplish

Paradoxically, by accepting our limits, we often achieve more. We channel our energy into what truly matters instead of spreading ourselves too thin. This mindset shift allows us to engage more fully with life as it is, rather than constantly striving for an impossible ideal.

2. Take Imperfect Action: Progress Over Perfection

"Finishing things means slogging your way through the messy, imperfect reality of what the project actually became."

Done is better than perfect. The pursuit of perfection often leads to paralysis. Instead of waiting for ideal conditions or flawless execution, embrace imperfect action:

• Set "good enough" standards for tasks and projects
• Focus on small, achievable steps rather than grand gestures
• Celebrate progress, no matter how incremental

By lowering the bar for what constitutes "success," we paradoxically accomplish more. Imperfect action builds momentum, provides valuable feedback, and helps us overcome the fear of failure. Remember, even world-changing endeavors started with imperfect first steps.

3. Let Go of Control: Embrace Uncertainty and Serendipity

"Not being able to guarantee that your plans will come off; not knowing what the future holds; never quite feeling like you've got things figured out, or that you're on top of things – all of these are mysteriously central to what makes life worth living."

Uncertainty is where the magic happens. Our attempts to control every aspect of life often backfire, leading to anxiety and missed opportunities. Letting go of rigid expectations opens us up to:

• Serendipitous encounters and unexpected joys
• Creative solutions we couldn't have planned for
• A deeper sense of presence and engagement with life

This doesn't mean abandoning all plans or goals. Instead, it's about holding our plans lightly, remaining flexible, and trusting that we can handle whatever comes our way. Embracing uncertainty allows us to dance with life rather than constantly fighting against its inherent unpredictability.

4. Focus on What Matters: Quality Time Over Quantity

"There is a vast academic and popular literature on the art of decision-making, but much of it misses the point by treating decisions as things that just sort of come along."

Actively choose your priorities. In a world of endless options and distractions, focusing on what truly matters becomes a radical act. To make the most of our finite time:

• Regularly reflect on your values and what gives your life meaning
• Proactively seek out decisions that align with those priorities
• Learn to say "no" to good opportunities that aren't great for you

Quality over quantity applies not just to possessions, but to how we spend our time and energy. By consciously choosing where to focus, we create space for depth and meaning in our lives. This might mean doing fewer things overall, but doing them with greater intention and satisfaction.

5. Cultivate Self-Compassion: Be Kinder to Yourself

"Were we to meet this figure socially, this accusatory character, this internal critic, this unrelenting faultfinder, we would think there was something wrong with him. He would just be boring and cruel."

Treat yourself like a good friend. Many of us have internalized harsh inner critics that constantly berate us for our perceived shortcomings. Cultivating self-compassion isn't about lowering standards, but about creating a supportive internal environment:

• Notice your self-talk and challenge overly harsh judgments
• Acknowledge that imperfection and struggle are part of the human experience
• Practice self-care and give yourself permission to rest and recharge

Self-compassion leads to greater resilience, motivation, and overall well-being. By treating ourselves with kindness, we create a solid foundation from which to tackle life's challenges and pursue our goals.

6. Connect Through Vulnerability: Embrace "Scruffy Hospitality"

"Scruffy hospitality means you're not waiting for everything in your house to be in order before you host and serve friends in your home."

Perfection is the enemy of connection. Our attempts to present a flawless image often create barriers to genuine relationships. Embracing "scruffy hospitality" – showing up as we are, imperfections and all – allows for deeper connections:

• Share your authentic self, including struggles and uncertainties
• Create space for others to be vulnerable in return
• Focus on presence and quality of interaction over surface-level impressions

This approach to relationships applies beyond literal hospitality. In our work, friendships, and romantic partnerships, allowing ourselves to be seen as we truly are creates opportunities for meaningful connection and support.

7. Live in the Present: This is Real Life, Right Now

"If instead you take the other approach – if you see all of this as leading up to some future point when real life will begin, or when you can finally start enjoying yourself, or feeling good about yourself – then you'll end up treating your actual life as something to 'get through,' until one day it'll be over, without the meaningful part ever having arrived."

Now is all we have. It's easy to fall into the trap of always preparing for "real life" to begin at some future point. But this moment, right now, is your life. To fully engage with the present:

• Practice mindfulness to anchor yourself in the current moment
• Find joy and meaning in everyday experiences, not just big milestones
• Ask yourself: "If this were my last year alive, how would I approach today?"

Living in the present doesn't mean abandoning future plans. It means engaging fully with life as it unfolds, rather than always postponing happiness or meaning to some idealized future state.

8. Redefine Success: Small Wins and Local Impact Matter

"Why shouldn't an anonymous career spent quietly helping a few people get to qualify as a meaningful way to spend one's time?"

Think globally, act locally. Our culture often equates success with grand achievements or widespread recognition. But meaningful impact often happens on a much smaller scale:

• Celebrate "small wins" and incremental progress
• Recognize the ripple effects of seemingly minor actions
• Find ways to make a difference in your immediate community

By redefining success to include local and personal impact, we open ourselves up to more frequent experiences of meaning and accomplishment. This perspective shift can lead to greater satisfaction and motivation in our daily lives.

9. Embrace Uncertainty: You Don't Need to Figure Everything Out

"What if 'getting a handle on things' in this way wasn't always necessary, though? What if, in fact, it was an obstacle to a fuller experience of life?"

Not knowing is okay. We often feel pressure to have everything figured out before taking action. But embracing uncertainty can lead to richer experiences and unexpected growth:

• Take action even when you don't have all the answers
• View life as an ongoing experiment rather than a predetermined path
• Cultivate curiosity and a willingness to learn as you go

Accepting that we can't always understand or control everything frees us to engage more fully with life. It allows us to remain open to new possibilities and to find joy in the process of discovery, rather than always striving for a false sense of certainty.

Last updated: November 9, 2024