Assignment Sparks Alphabet Life

Candice Phee, a precise, literal-minded twelve-year-old, is tasked by her beloved English teacher, Miss Bamford, to write an autobiographical recount—one paragraph for each letter of the alphabet. Candice's unique voice and obsessive honesty quickly turn the assignment into a sprawling, detailed exploration of her life, family, and the people who shape her. Through this structure, Candice introduces her world: her small Australian town, her family's sadness, her penpal Denille (who never writes back), and her own quirks and social struggles. The assignment becomes both a narrative device and a metaphor for Candice's need to make sense of her chaotic world, setting the stage for her quest to fix what's broken around her.

Birth Stories and Family Fractures

Candice investigates her own birth through the differing accounts of her mother, father, and Rich Uncle Brian. Each version is colored by pain, nostalgia, or poetic license, highlighting the fractured relationships within her family. Her mother's trauma, her father's absence, and her uncle's romanticized retelling all point to deeper wounds: a family divided by old grievances, misunderstandings, and unspoken grief. Candice's literal approach exposes the subjectivity of memory and the emotional distance between her parents and uncle, foreshadowing the central conflict she will try to heal.

Chaos in Classroom and Home

School is a battleground of routine and resistance, but the arrival of Douglas Benson—who claims to be from another dimension—upends Candice's predictable world. Their odd friendship forms quickly, united by mutual weirdness and outsider status. At home, Candice observes the silent chaos of her family: her mother's depression, her father's withdrawal, and the unresolved feud with Rich Uncle Brian over a disputed software patent. Candice's keen observations and literal logic highlight the dysfunction and her growing determination to fix it.

Meeting Douglas: Other Dimensions

Douglas Benson's belief that he is from another dimension becomes both a running joke and a poignant metaphor for feeling out of place. He explains complex theories of parallel universes and gravity, insisting he can return home by jumping from trees. Candice, both baffled and intrigued, becomes his confidante. Their conversations about reality, identity, and belonging mirror Candice's own sense of alienation and her search for meaning in a world that often feels as strange as Douglas's multiverse.

Earth-Pig Fish Philosophy

Candice acquires a goldfish she names Earth-Pig Fish, inspired by her love of dictionaries and the word "aardvark." She muses on the fish's limited perspective, drawing parallels to human attempts to understand the universe and the possibility of a godlike presence. Earth-Pig Fish becomes a sounding board for Candice's philosophical questions and a symbol of her desire to connect, comfort, and make sense of suffering—both her own and others'.

Sky's Arrival and Loss

Candice recalls the birth and sudden death of her baby sister, Sky, a loss that marks the beginning of her family's unraveling. The memory is vivid and raw: Sky's presence brought joy and connection, but her death (from SIDS) leaves a void filled with guilt, silence, and unspoken blame. Candice insists she does not blame herself, but recognizes that logic cannot heal emotional wounds. The family's grief becomes the backdrop for Candice's mission to restore happiness.

Gravity, Trees, and Friendship

Douglas's attempts to return to his dimension by jumping from trees become a recurring event, with Candice as his witness and reluctant accomplice. Their friendship deepens through these rituals, blending science fiction with the realities of loneliness and the need for understanding. Candice's literal-mindedness and Douglas's fantastical beliefs create a space where both can be themselves, even as Candice worries about his safety and sanity.

Pursuing Happiness, Planning Change

Frustrated by her family's misery and inspired by her conversations with Earth-Pig Fish and Douglas, Candice sets out to pursue happiness for those around her. She devises plans—some practical, some outlandish—to heal her parents' marriage, reconcile her father and uncle, and help her friends. Her efforts are earnest, sometimes misguided, but always driven by a fierce love and a refusal to accept that things cannot change.

Insight on Family Schisms

Candice bargains with Rich Uncle Brian for a bike in exchange for joining him on his yacht, despite her seasickness. During their time at sea, she learns the true nature of the rift between her father and uncle: a dispute over credit and recognition, not just money. Both men are trapped by pride and principle, unable to forgive or move on. Candice's insight—that love and reconciliation are possible if they can let go of the past—plants the seed for her next plan.

Laughter, Letters, and Healing

Candice's attempts to help—like giving Miss Bamford an eye patch for her lazy eye—often result in unexpected laughter and moments of connection. Her literal, awkward kindness brings joy to those around her, even as she struggles to understand humor herself. Through letters to her penpal Denille (who finally writes back), Candice processes her experiences, celebrates small victories, and discovers the healing power of laughter and friendship.

Mourning, Guilt, and Growth

The anniversary of Sky's death brings old wounds to the surface, leading to a confrontation between Candice and her mother. Candice challenges the family's rituals of mourning, advocating for celebration and acceptance instead of endless grief. Her honesty provokes pain but also sparks change, as her parents begin to confront their own sadness and the possibility of moving forward.

Near-Death and Inflatable Miracles

On her thirteenth birthday, Candice orchestrates a dramatic plan to force her father and uncle to reconcile: she throws herself into the marina, hoping they will unite to save her. The plan backfires spectacularly, resulting in chaos, injuries, and Candice's own near-drowning—only to be saved by the accidental inflation of her artificial birthday-present breasts. The episode is both comic and tragic, underscoring the limits of Candice's control and the unpredictability of life.

Oblivion and Failed Reconciliations

The marina incident leaves the family more fractured than before, with anger, blame, and confusion replacing any hope of reconciliation. Candice's literal interpretation of promises and her desperate attempts to fix things only deepen the misunderstandings. Yet, in the aftermath, she continues to seek solutions—turning to legal action, new friendships, and creative problem-solving.

Legal Dramas and Questions

Inspired by a movie, Candice tries to "divorce" her parents by seeking legal counsel, hoping the shock will bring them together. The attempt is both farcical and revealing, highlighting her naivety and the complexity of adult problems. Through letters and conversations, Candice grapples with questions about love, identity, and the meaning of family, using humor and logic to navigate emotional terrain.

Relief Teachers and New Bonds

With Miss Bamford absent, the formidable relief teacher Miss Cowie challenges Candice and her classmates. Candice is paired with Jen Marshall, the school's "cool girl" and her tormentor, for a biography project. Through honest conversation, Candice discovers Jen's own struggles and pain, forging an unlikely bond. The experience teaches Candice about empathy, the hidden lives of others, and the possibility of friendship across social divides.

Understanding Jen, Understanding Self

Candice offers to tutor Jen, promising secrecy to protect her reputation. Their tentative alliance grows, as Candice's willingness to see the good in others helps Jen open up. At the same time, Candice's family begins to heal: her mother emerges from depression, her father pursues his dreams, and Candice herself learns to accept her own differences. The process is messy, filled with setbacks, but marked by genuine progress.

Visions, Dreams, and New Orleans

Candice uses her trust fund (with Uncle Brian's help) to buy her mother a trip to New Orleans, fulfilling a long-held dream. The gift becomes a catalyst for change, forcing her parents to confront their fears, accept help, and imagine a future beyond grief. Meanwhile, Candice's father and uncle begin to reconcile, joining forces on a new software project inspired by Candice's insights and Douglas's theories. The family's journey toward healing is mirrored by Candice's own growth and the strengthening of her friendships.

Zero-Hour: Endings and Beginnings

As Douglas prepares for one final attempt to return to his dimension, Candice supports him, witnessing his fall and the ambiguous outcome—did he succeed, or simply suffer another concussion? The episode marks a turning point: Candice accepts that some things cannot be fixed, but that love, friendship, and hope endure. Letters are finally answered, family wounds begin to heal, and Candice looks forward to new chapters—her alphabet autobiography complete, but her story ongoing.

Characters

Candice Phee

Candice is a twelve-year-old girl with a unique, literal perspective on the world, likely on the autism spectrum though never explicitly labeled. Her obsessive honesty, love of dictionaries, and penchant for writing notes set her apart from her peers. Candice is driven by a fierce desire to heal her fractured family and help those around her, often through elaborate, well-intentioned plans that sometimes backfire. Her relationships—with her grieving parents, estranged uncle, oddball friend Douglas, and even her goldfish—are marked by empathy, awkwardness, and a relentless hopefulness. Over the course of the story, Candice grows in self-acceptance, learns the limits of control, and discovers the power of laughter, connection, and small acts of kindness.

Douglas Benson (From Another Dimension)

Douglas is the new boy at school, convinced he is from a parallel universe and obsessed with returning home via gravity and tree-jumping. His scientific explanations are both comic and poignant, reflecting his sense of alienation and longing for a place where he fits. Douglas's friendship with Candice is built on mutual weirdness and acceptance; he becomes her closest confidant and, eventually, her would-be boyfriend. His "other dimension" serves as a metaphor for feeling out of place, and his journey mirrors Candice's own search for identity and connection.

Mum (Vicky Phee)

Candice's mother is a shadow of her former self, devastated by the death of her infant daughter Sky and her own battle with breast cancer. She spends much of her time in bed, withdrawn from family life, and struggles with depression. Yet, through Candice's efforts and the rekindling of family dreams (like the trip to New Orleans), she begins to reemerge, rediscovering laughter, hope, and the possibility of happiness. Her relationship with Candice is fraught but loving, marked by moments of pain, anger, and eventual healing.

Dad (Jim Phee)

Candice's father is a self-employed computer repairman, emotionally distant and consumed by regret over his lost partnership with his brother Brian. He finds solace in building computers and flying remote-controlled planes, activities that offer control in a life otherwise marked by loss and disappointment. Through Candice's interventions and the opportunity to pursue a new software project, he gradually reconnects with his family and his own dreams, learning to forgive and move forward.

Rich Uncle Brian

Once a business partner with Candice's father, Brian became "Rich Uncle Brian" after a disputed software patent made him wealthy. His relationship with the family is strained by old grievances, but he remains devoted to Candice, indulging her with gifts and support. Underneath his bravado and material success lies a deep sadness and a desire to heal the rift with his brother. Brian's willingness to help Candice and eventually partner with Jim again is key to the family's healing.

Miss Bamford

Candice's English teacher is a pivotal figure, encouraging her to write her alphabet autobiography and embracing her quirks. Miss Bamford's own struggles (notably her lazy eye) make her a target for student teasing, but she responds with humor and resilience. Her acceptance and understanding of Candice provide a safe space for growth, and her eventual return to the classroom (with an eye patch, at Candice's suggestion) symbolizes the power of small acts of kindness and self-acceptance.

Jen Marshall

Jen is the archetypal "cool girl" at school, beautiful, rebellious, and initially cruel to Candice. However, through their forced partnership on a school project, Candice discovers Jen's difficult home life and deep insecurities. Their unlikely friendship grows as Candice offers help and understanding, challenging stereotypes and revealing the hidden struggles behind Jen's bravado.

Earth-Pig Fish

Candice's goldfish, named for the first word in the dictionary, becomes a philosophical touchstone. Through Earth-Pig Fish, Candice explores questions of existence, perspective, and the limits of understanding. The fish's presence is both comforting and thought-provoking, serving as a metaphor for Candice's own attempts to make sense of her world.

Denille

Denille, Candice's American penpal, never replies to Candice's letters—until the very end. Her silence becomes a canvas for Candice's thoughts, confessions, and philosophical musings. When Denille finally writes back, it symbolizes the possibility of connection and the rewards of persistence.

Miss Cowie

Miss Cowie steps in during Miss Bamford's absence, initially intimidating but ultimately supportive. She recognizes Candice's needs and accommodates her, helping to foster new bonds and growth within the class.

Plot Devices

Alphabetical Structure

The story is structured around Candice's assignment to write about her life from A to Z, with each chapter corresponding to a letter. This device allows for a non-linear, episodic exploration of her experiences, thoughts, and relationships. It mirrors Candice's need for order and her methodical approach to understanding the world, while also providing a framework for the gradual unfolding of the family's history and her personal growth.

Letters and Notes

Candice's reliance on letters (to Denille) and notes (to teachers, friends, and even herself) serves as both a coping mechanism and a narrative tool. These written exchanges allow her to express thoughts she cannot say aloud, process complex emotions, and connect with others despite her social difficulties. The eventual reply from Denille provides closure and validation.

Parallel Universes and Metaphor

Douglas's belief in other dimensions and his attempts to return home function as both literal plot points and metaphors for feeling out of place, longing for escape, and the infinite possibilities of identity. The multiverse theory also inspires Candice's father's new software project, linking the personal and the scientific.

Humor and Literalism

The interplay between Candice's literal interpretations and the figurative language of those around her generates both humor and pathos. Her inability to grasp sarcasm, jokes, or social cues highlights her difference, but also her sincerity and the value of seeing the world afresh.

Foreshadowing and Recurrence

Recurring elements—such as Candice's bike rides, Douglas's tree-jumping, and the family's rituals of mourning—serve to mark progress, setbacks, and eventual transformation. The return to these motifs with new understanding signals the characters' development.

Analysis

Barry Jonsberg's My Life as an Alphabet is a masterful blend of humor, heartbreak, and hope, told through the singular voice of Candice Phee. The novel uses the structure of an alphabet assignment to explore themes of grief, family dysfunction, neurodiversity, and the universal longing for connection. Candice's literal-mindedness and relentless honesty expose the absurdities and pain of adult life, while her earnest efforts to fix what's broken around her highlight both the power and limits of love. The story's greatest strength lies in its celebration of difference: Candice's quirks are not obstacles to be overcome, but sources of insight, empathy, and unexpected joy. Through her journey, the novel suggests that healing is messy, laughter is essential, and even the smallest acts of kindness can ripple outward, changing lives. In a world that often feels chaotic and incomprehensible, Candice's alphabet becomes a map—not to perfection, but to understanding, acceptance, and the courage to keep writing new chapters.

Last updated: May 18, 2025