Negotiating the Impossible

1. Frame the negotiation to shape perceptions and outcomes

Control the frame of the negotiation. The frame that takes hold will shape how negotiators make decisions, evaluate options, and decide what is acceptable.

Framing shapes reality. How you present a proposal or situation can be as important as its substance. Effective negotiators actively shape the lens through which others view the negotiation. This could mean reframing a divisive issue into multiple issues, presenting your preferred option as the default, or shifting the reference point for evaluating offers.

Tactics for effective framing:

• Split one contentious issue into multiple smaller issues
• Present your proposal as the default option
• Establish a favorable reference point for comparisons
• Label and explain your concessions clearly
• Diffuse the spotlight from any single prominent issue

By controlling the frame, you expand the set of possible agreements and make it easier for others to say yes. The key is to frame options in a way that aligns with the other party's interests and helps them save face.

2. Negotiate process before substance to set the stage for success

Have a process strategy: how will you get from where you are today to where you want to be? Consider the factors that influence whether, when, and how substantive negotiations will occur.

Process shapes outcomes. Before diving into substantive deal points, negotiate the process first. This includes deciding who will be involved, what will be on the agenda, how decisions will be made, and the overall timeline. By shaping these factors, you create conditions more favorable to reaching your desired outcome.

Key process elements to consider:

• Who will be involved and in what capacity
• What issues will be discussed and in what order
• Whether negotiations will be public or private
• How progress will be measured and reported
• What happens if no agreement is reached

Negotiating process gives you more control and helps avoid misunderstandings later. It also allows you to address potential obstacles proactively. Be sure to seek clarity and commitment on the agreed process, even if you can't fully control it.

3. Preserve forward momentum to overcome deadlocks

Preserve forward momentum. How will pursuing near-term advantage affect future engagement?

Progress begets progress. In protracted negotiations, maintaining forward momentum is crucial. This means deliberately taking steps to eliminate obstacles and create conditions for eventual success, even if a final deal isn't immediately possible. Short-term victories that damage long-term prospects should be avoided.

Tactics to preserve momentum:

• Keep a low bar for progress on individual issues
• Use "sufficient consensus" rather than requiring unanimity
• Create channels to manage residual conflicts post-agreement
• Stay engaged, even after failed negotiations

Remember that today's tactics shape tomorrow's negotiating environment. Building trust and demonstrating good faith, even in small ways, can pay dividends later when tackling bigger issues.

4. Leverage the power of empathy to expand options

Empathy expands the set of options you have for resolving the conflict. The better you understand the other side's perspective, the more likely you are to find a solution.

Understanding unlocks possibilities. Empathy isn't about being nice; it's a powerful tool to expand your options. By truly grasping the other side's interests, constraints, and perspective, you can craft proposals more likely to be accepted and find creative solutions to deadlocks.

Ways to practice empathy in negotiation:

• Consider all possible explanations for their behavior
• Identify their psychological, structural, and tactical barriers
• Create "slack" to accommodate mistakes or misunderstandings
• Don't force them to choose between smart decisions and saving face

Empathy is especially crucial when dealing with those who seem least deserving of it. The more intolerable their behavior, the greater the potential benefit of understanding its root causes.

5. Map out the negotiation space to understand all parties

Map out the negotiation space. Your strategy should take into account all parties who can influence the deal or who are influenced by the deal.

Context is key. Effective negotiators think beyond just the parties at the table. They consider all stakeholders who can influence or be affected by the deal. This "negotiation space" includes direct parties, their constituents, regulators, competitors, and others.

Steps to map the negotiation space:

1. Identify all relevant parties
2. Analyze each party's interests, constraints, alternatives, and perspective (ICAP)
3. Consider how third parties influence the dynamics
4. Evaluate how the landscape might change over time

By mapping the full negotiation space, you can anticipate obstacles, identify leverage points, and craft more comprehensive solutions. This broader view also helps you prepare for good fortune – being ready to seize unexpected opportunities.

6. Create value by seeing others as partners, not opponents

See the other side as your partner, not your opponent, regardless of the type or degree of conflict. It is hard to empathize or collaborate with "opponents."

Collaboration trumps competition. Even in adversarial situations, viewing the other side as a partner rather than an opponent opens up possibilities. This mindset shift encourages you to seek value-creating solutions that benefit both parties, rather than fighting over a fixed pie.

Strategies for partner-focused negotiation:

• Start by asking: "What would be the value-maximizing outcome?"
• Look for ways to expand the pie before dividing it
• Encourage the other side to imagine seemingly impossible solutions
• Focus on interests behind positions, not just stated demands

Remember that today's adversary may be tomorrow's ally. By treating others as partners, you build relationships and reputations that can pay off in unexpected ways down the road.

7. Understand deep-rooted perspectives to resolve protracted conflicts

Protracted conflicts cannot be resolved without genuine efforts to understand the deep-seated forces that legitimize each side's perspective and behavior.

History shapes reality. In long-standing conflicts, each side often has a deeply ingrained narrative that shapes their worldview. These narratives are reinforced by education, media, and culture, making them resistant to change. Resolving such conflicts requires more than just addressing immediate issues.

Approaches to bridging divergent perspectives:

• Acknowledge that each side sees its view as legitimate
• Recognize how history and identity shape current positions
• Avoid asking for "sacred" concessions as preconditions
• Help parties find value-creating ways to apply lessons from the past

True resolution comes not from forcing others to adopt your perspective, but from finding ways to accommodate or bridge competing narratives. This requires patience, creativity, and a willingness to challenge one's own assumptions.

Last updated: November 18, 2024