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On Becoming Baby Wise

On Becoming Baby Wise

Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep
by Robert Bucknam M.D. 2012 279 pages
3.68
15k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Establish a consistent feed-wake-sleep cycle for your baby

The key to healthy growth, contented babies, good naps, and playful waketimes, as well as the gift of nighttime sleep, are too valuable to be left to chance.

Feed-wake-sleep cycle. This routine forms the foundation of the Babywise method. It involves feeding your baby, keeping them awake for a short period, and then putting them down for a nap. This cycle helps stabilize your baby's hunger patterns and sleep rhythms.

Consistency is key. Aim for 8-10 feedings in a 24-hour period during the first few weeks. As your baby grows, the duration between feedings will naturally extend. By following this cycle consistently, you're helping your baby develop predictable patterns, which leads to better sleep and happier babies.

Benefits of the cycle:

  • Promotes full feedings
  • Establishes predictable routines
  • Encourages better sleep patterns
  • Facilitates cognitive development during waketime
  • Helps parents plan their day

2. Prioritize full feedings to promote better sleep and development

A full feeding at each feeding is one of the goals to work toward.

Full feedings are crucial. They ensure your baby receives adequate nutrition and helps establish longer sleep periods. A full feeding typically lasts 10-15 minutes per breast or 20-30 minutes for formula-fed babies.

Signs of a full feeding:

  • Baby pulls away from breast or bottle when satiated
  • You hear swallowing of milk
  • Baby burps well after feeding
  • Baby naps well

Avoid snack feeding or clusters of small feedings, as these can disrupt your baby's ability to organize hunger rhythms. If your baby falls asleep during feeding, try changing the diaper or using a cool washcloth to keep them awake and ensure they complete the feeding.

3. Implement Parent-Directed Feeding (PDF) for balanced structure and flexibility

PDF is the center point between hyper-scheduling and the re-attachment theories.

PDF balances structure and flexibility. This approach combines the hunger cue (variable) with the clock (constant), mediated by parental assessment. It allows parents to respond to their baby's needs while maintaining a consistent routine.

Key aspects of PDF:

  • Feed your baby when hungry, but within reasonable time limits
  • Use parental assessment to determine the best course of action
  • Adjust routines as your baby grows and develops

PDF provides enough structure to bring security and order to a baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give parents freedom to respond to any need at any time. This balanced approach promotes healthy growth, optimal development, and helps foster healthy sleep patterns.

4. Recognize and respond appropriately to different types of crying

Crying for 10, 15, or even 20 minutes will not harm your baby physically or emotionally.

Types of crying. Babies cry for various reasons, including hunger, discomfort, tiredness, or overstimulation. Learning to differentiate between these cries helps parents respond appropriately.

Responding to cries:

  1. Think about where your baby is in their routine
  2. Listen for the type of cry
  3. Take appropriate action based on your assessment

While it's important to respond to your baby's needs, it's also crucial to allow some crying, especially during sleep training. This helps babies learn to self-soothe and develop healthy sleep habits. Remember, a few minutes of crying won't undo all the love and care you've given your baby.

5. Encourage healthy sleep patterns through proper routines

PDF babies typically drop their third naps and move to a catnap between 24-39 weeks.

Establish consistent sleep routines. This includes regular nap times and a consistent bedtime routine. These routines signal to your baby that it's time to sleep, making the transition easier.

Sleep training tips:

  • Put your baby down awake but drowsy
  • Create a calm sleep environment
  • Use consistent pre-sleep rituals (e.g., bath, story, lullaby)
  • Gradually extend nighttime sleep duration

As your baby grows, their sleep needs will change. Be prepared to adjust routines accordingly, such as transitioning from three naps to two, and eventually to one. Consistent routines help babies feel secure and promote better sleep habits.

6. Manage nap disruptions and early waking strategically

If you sense your baby needs this kind of adjustment, and you are now in a position to get him back into a predictable routine, we recommend that Mom find a comfortable chair and a good book and allow her baby to take a nap in her arms.

Identify the cause. Nap disruptions can occur for various reasons, including growth spurts, developmental leaps, or changes in routine. Understanding the cause helps in finding an appropriate solution.

Strategies for managing disruptions:

  • Ensure the sleep environment is conducive (dark, quiet, comfortable temperature)
  • Check for physical discomfort (hunger, wet diaper, illness)
  • Adjust wake times if needed
  • Consider temporary measures to help baby resettle (e.g., brief rocking, patting)

For persistent early waking, try gradually adjusting nap times or bedtimes. Remember, consistency is key in re-establishing healthy sleep patterns. If disruptions persist, consult your pediatrician to rule out any underlying issues.

7. Address colic, reflux, and inconsolable crying with targeted approaches

GERD is a serious digestive problem in newborns that is often missed because it is too quickly labeled as colic.

Differentiate between conditions. Colic, reflux, and GERD can present similar symptoms but require different approaches. Colic typically resolves on its own by three months, while reflux and GERD may require medical intervention.

Management strategies:

  • Colic: Try soothing techniques like swaddling, white noise, or gentle motion
  • Reflux: Keep baby upright after feedings, consider smaller, more frequent feedings
  • GERD: Consult your pediatrician for potential medication or lifestyle changes

For all conditions, maintain a consistent routine as much as possible. This helps babies feel secure and can mitigate some symptoms. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're concerned about your baby's crying or discomfort.

8. Adapt routines as your baby grows and transitions

All babies will experience the same merges, but they do not experience them at the same time.

Expect changes. As your baby grows, their feeding and sleep needs will change. Be prepared to adjust routines accordingly.

Key transitions to anticipate:

  • Dropping night feedings
  • Extending time between daytime feedings
  • Transitioning from multiple naps to fewer, longer naps
  • Introducing solid foods

Remain flexible and attentive to your baby's cues during these transitions. Each baby develops at their own pace, so while guidelines are helpful, always prioritize your baby's individual needs. Gradual adjustments often work best when implementing changes to established routines.

9. Foster a strong marital relationship while parenting

The greatest overall influence parents have on their children comes not in their roles as individual parents, but in their shared role as husband and wife.

Prioritize your marriage. A strong marital relationship provides a secure foundation for your child's emotional development. Make time for each other amidst the demands of parenting.

Strategies for maintaining a strong marriage:

  • Schedule regular date nights
  • Practice open communication
  • Share parenting responsibilities
  • Support each other's individual needs and interests
  • Maintain physical intimacy

Remember, your relationship as a couple existed before your baby and will continue long after your children are grown. Nurturing this relationship benefits not only you as partners but also provides a model of a healthy relationship for your children.

10. Monitor your baby's growth and nutritional intake closely

Weight gain is one of the surest indicators of growth.

Track key indicators. Regularly monitoring your baby's growth and nutritional intake helps ensure they're receiving adequate nourishment and developing properly.

Key indicators to monitor:

  • Weight gain
  • Number of wet and dirty diapers
  • Alertness and energy levels
  • Feeding duration and frequency
  • Developmental milestones

Use growth charts provided by your pediatrician to track your baby's progress. If you notice any concerning trends or sudden changes, consult your healthcare provider promptly. Remember, every baby grows at their own pace, but consistent monitoring helps catch any potential issues early.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.68 out of 5
Average of 15k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

On Becoming Baby Wise received mixed reviews. Some parents praised its structured approach to infant sleep and feeding, claiming it helped their babies sleep through the night early. Others strongly criticized the book, arguing it promotes rigid scheduling that can be harmful to babies' health and emotional well-being. Critics cited concerns about malnutrition, dehydration, and lack of attachment. Many reviewers advised against following the book's advice strictly, suggesting parents should trust their instincts and respond to their baby's individual needs instead.

Your rating:

About the Author

Robert Bucknam M.D. is the author of On Becoming Baby Wise, a controversial parenting book focusing on infant sleep and feeding schedules. Bucknam's background and credentials have been questioned by critics, who note he lacks formal education in child development. The book's methods have been criticized by medical professionals, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, for potentially harmful effects on infant health and development. Despite this, the book has gained popularity among some parents seeking structured approaches to infant care. Bucknam's work has sparked ongoing debates about parenting philosophies and the balance between scheduling and responding to infants' needs.

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