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Parisian Lives

Parisian Lives

Samuel Beckett, Simone de Beauvoir, and Me: A Memoir
by Deirdre Bair 2019 341 pages
4.02
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Deirdre Bair's unexpected journey into biography writing

"I became the biographer of two of the most remarkable people the world has ever known, and those adventures became this book."

Accidental biographer. Deirdre Bair, a journalist turned graduate student, stumbled into biography writing almost by chance. Her initial interest in Samuel Beckett's work led her to propose writing his biography, despite having no prior experience in the genre. This bold move set her on a path that would define her career and change her life.

From Beckett to Beauvoir. After completing Beckett's biography, Bair was drawn to write about Simone de Beauvoir, seeking to explore the life of a woman who seemed to have successfully balanced personal and professional aspects of her life. This transition marked a shift in Bair's focus and methodology, as she navigated the challenges of writing about two very different literary giants.

2. The challenges of gaining Samuel Beckett's cooperation

"So you are the one who is going to reveal me for the charlatan that I am."

Initial skepticism. Beckett's first words to Bair set the tone for their complex relationship. Despite his initial agreement to cooperate, Beckett remained enigmatic and often difficult to pin down for interviews.

Establishing trust. Bair had to navigate Beckett's reluctance to discuss personal matters and his tendency to compartmentalize his relationships. She developed strategies to gain his trust and elicit information, including:

  • Memorizing questions to ask during their meetings
  • Respecting his desire for privacy while gently probing for details
  • Adapting to his preference for unrecorded conversations

Persistence pays off. Through patience and persistence, Bair managed to gain unprecedented access to Beckett's life and work, resulting in a groundbreaking biography that challenged existing perceptions of the author.

3. Navigating the academic world as a woman biographer

"She's not a scholar; she's only a biographer."

Gender bias. Bair faced significant challenges as a woman in academia, particularly in the male-dominated field of literary biography. She encountered skepticism about her abilities and faced criticism for her approach to biography writing.

Institutional hurdles. The author struggled with:

  • Securing tenure while working on her biographies
  • Balancing teaching responsibilities with intensive research
  • Overcoming prejudice against biography as a legitimate form of scholarship

Perseverance and recognition. Despite these obstacles, Bair persevered, eventually gaining recognition for her work and paving the way for future women biographers.

4. The complexities of interviewing and researching Simone de Beauvoir

"We are just having conversations. We are two friends talking. You must never write anything that we say."

Establishing boundaries. Beauvoir's approach to interviews differed significantly from Beckett's, requiring Bair to adapt her methods. She had to navigate Beauvoir's desire for control over the narrative while maintaining her integrity as a biographer.

Delving into sensitive topics. Bair faced challenges in discussing:

  • Beauvoir's relationships, particularly with Jean-Paul Sartre
  • Her involvement in the seduction of her students
  • Beauvoir's stance on feminism and her own sexuality

Balancing act. The author had to strike a delicate balance between respecting Beauvoir's wishes and uncovering the truth, often employing creative strategies to elicit information without alienating her subject.

5. Balancing personal life with intensive biographical research

"I don't want to be the wonder woman who cooks, bakes, decorates, manages, copes, etc. I'd like to be a good wife and mother, sure. But I want to be a scholar and a writer, too."

Juggling responsibilities. Bair struggled to balance her roles as a wife, mother, and scholar. Her research often required extended periods away from home, straining her personal relationships.

Financial pressures. The author faced significant financial challenges, including:

  • Funding her own research trips
  • Supporting her family on a limited income
  • Navigating the uncertainties of academic employment

Emotional toll. The intensive nature of biographical research and the pressures of writing about living subjects took an emotional toll on Bair, leading her to seek therapy at times.

6. Confronting hostility and criticism in the literary world

"These people are truly crazy."

Becketteers' backlash. Following the publication of Beckett's biography, Bair faced intense criticism from a group of Beckett scholars and enthusiasts, dubbed the "Becketteers." They questioned her credibility and methods, often resorting to personal attacks.

Academic skepticism. Bair encountered resistance within academia, where biography was often viewed as less rigorous than other forms of literary scholarship. She had to defend her work against claims that it was:

  • Too personal
  • Lacking in theoretical grounding
  • Unsuitable for serious academic consideration

Perseverance and validation. Despite the hostility, Bair's work gained recognition over time, with many acknowledging its groundbreaking nature and lasting influence on Beckett scholarship.

7. The ethical dilemmas of writing about living subjects

"I was afraid that if I saw Beckett in person, I might slip up and reveal that I knew they existed."

Navigating confidentiality. Bair faced numerous ethical challenges in writing about living subjects, particularly when it came to sensitive information shared in confidence.

Balancing truth and discretion. The author had to make difficult decisions about:

  • What information to include or exclude
  • How to present controversial aspects of her subjects' lives
  • When to respect her subjects' wishes for privacy versus the need for historical accuracy

Long-term consequences. Bair's choices in writing about Beckett and Beauvoir had lasting impacts on her relationships with them and their circles, as well as on her own career and reputation.

8. The impact of feminism on Bair's approach to biography

"I was still the dutiful girl unwilling to offend the man who knew better."

Evolving consciousness. As Bair worked on her biographies, her feminist consciousness grew, influenced by the women's movement of the 1970s and 1980s. This shift affected her:

  • Approach to interviewing and research
  • Interpretation of her subjects' lives and work
  • Understanding of her own experiences as a woman in academia

Challenging norms. Bair's work, particularly her biography of Beauvoir, contributed to the growing field of feminist biography, challenging traditional approaches to writing about women's lives.

Personal growth. The author's feminist awakening led her to assert herself more confidently in her professional life, eventually firing her male agent and seeking out female representation.

9. The contrasting experiences of writing about Beckett and Beauvoir

"How much healthier—and fustier, and gustier—is the world of SdB. What a pleasure to be with people who are not terrified of their 'monstre sacré.'"

Different approaches. Bair's experiences with Beckett and Beauvoir were markedly different, reflecting their contrasting personalities and the different stages of Bair's career.

Beckett's world:

  • Highly compartmentalized
  • Filled with secrecy and indirect communication
  • Dominated by male scholars protective of Beckett's legacy

Beauvoir's world:

  • More open and direct
  • Engaged with feminist circles and political activism
  • Challenging in different ways, particularly regarding Beauvoir's control over her narrative

Professional growth. These contrasting experiences allowed Bair to develop a more nuanced approach to biography writing, adapting her methods to suit each subject while maintaining her integrity as a researcher and writer.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.02 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Parisian Lives receives largely positive reviews, praised for its unique insight into the biography-writing process and Bair's experiences with Samuel Beckett and Simone de Beauvoir. Readers appreciate the author's honesty about challenges faced as a woman in academia and publishing. Some criticize the lack of focus on Paris itself and occasional repetitiveness. The book is commended for its engaging storytelling and behind-the-scenes look at literary giants, though a few reviewers desired more depth on the subjects' work.

Your rating:

About the Author

Deirdre Bair is an acclaimed biographer known for her award-winning works on prominent literary and intellectual figures. Her biography of Samuel Beckett earned the National Book Award, while her books on Simone de Beauvoir and Carl Jung were finalists for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize. The New York Times recognized her de Beauvoir biography as a Best Book of the Year. Bair's biographies of Anaïs Nin and Saul Steinberg were also noted as New York Times Notable Books. Her work is characterized by thorough research and insightful portrayals of complex personalities, establishing her as a respected figure in the field of literary biography.

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