People Buy You

1. People Buy You: The Foundation of Business Success

Do these other things matter? Of course they do, but these are just tickets that give you access to the game. When all things are equal—and in the competitive world we live in today they almost always are—people buy you.

The real competitive edge. In today's business world, products, services, and qualifications are often similar among competitors. What sets you apart is you. Your ability to build lasting business relationships, close deals, retain clients, and advance your career depends on your interpersonal skills.

The People Buy You philosophy. This approach emphasizes that success in business is not just about what you know or what you're selling, but how well you connect with others. It's about being likable, trustworthy, and solving problems for others. When you fully embrace this concept, your confidence increases, and you realize how much control you have over your success.

Key aspects of the People Buy You philosophy:

• Focus on building relationships
• Develop strong interpersonal skills
• Prioritize problem-solving for others
• Demonstrate trustworthiness and reliability
• Create positive emotional experiences for others

2. Likability: The Gateway to Connections

Likability is the gateway to connections and ultimately to relationships. If others don't find you likable, then it is virtually impossible to form profitable business relationships.

First impressions matter. Likability is often established within moments of meeting someone. It's the first step in building a connection and opens the door to deeper relationships. Without likability, it's challenging to move forward in any business interaction.

Cultivate likable behaviors. While some people are naturally likable, these behaviors can be learned and practiced. Key likable behaviors include smiling, demonstrating good manners, showing enthusiasm and confidence, and being authentic. These behaviors make others feel comfortable and valued in your presence.

Strategies to increase likability:

• Smile genuinely and often
• Practice active listening
• Show respect and politeness to everyone
• Maintain a positive and enthusiastic attitude
• Be authentic in your interactions
• Compliment others sincerely
• Remember and use people's names

3. Connect Through Genuine Interest and Listening

Because people respond in kind, you have the opportunity to control the tone of most of your interactions with others.

The power of listening. Connecting with others goes beyond surface-level rapport. It involves genuinely listening and showing interest in the other person. When you listen attentively, people feel valued and important, which leads to stronger connections.

Ask meaningful questions. Start conversations with easy questions that people enjoy answering. This approach helps break down barriers and encourages people to open up. As the conversation progresses, you can ask deeper, more strategic questions that reveal their real problems and needs.

Effective connecting techniques:

• Give others your full attention
• Ask open-ended questions
• Listen actively and empathetically
• Show genuine interest in their responses
• Follow emotional cues to uncover real concerns
• Avoid making assumptions
• Practice deep listening (with eyes, ears, and heart)

4. Solve Problems by Uncovering Real Needs

Solving problems is the foundation of the People Buy You philosophy. Solving problems is about helping other people get what they want. When you help others get what they want, you will get what you want.

Go beyond surface-level issues. Many salespeople and business professionals fail because they don't dig deep enough to understand their clients' real problems. Like icebergs, the most significant issues are often hidden beneath the surface.

Employ dual-process questioning. This approach involves maintaining focus on your strategic objectives while engaging your prospect emotionally. It allows you to be flexible and adjust your questions as you uncover the most pressing issues for your client.

Problem-solving strategies:

• Listen for emotional cues that indicate underlying issues
• Ask "worry" questions to encourage openness
• Use empathy to understand the client's perspective
• Develop a comprehensive list of relevant questions
• Practice your questioning skills regularly
• Connect problems to personalized solutions
• Articulate value in terms that resonate with the client

5. Build Trust Through Consistent Actions

Without trust you cannot effectively conduct business. It is the foundation on which all relationships rest.

Earn trust over time. Trust is built through consistent evidence that you are reliable and have the client's best interests at heart. Every action, decision, and behavior either contributes to or erodes trust.

Be aware of your actions. In business, you are always "on stage." Your behaviors are constantly being observed and evaluated. Maintain self-discipline to manage every interaction professionally and consistently.

Trust-building behaviors:

• Keep your promises and meet deadlines
• Be punctual and prepared for meetings
• Respond promptly to calls and emails
• Admit mistakes and apologize sincerely
• Go the extra mile in your service
• Maintain consistent behavior across all interactions
• Leverage your support team effectively
• Listen attentively to build deeper trust

6. Create Positive Emotional Experiences

Little things are big things. For the cost of a postage stamp, a note card, and five minutes of your time, you can create a positive emotional experience that will be appreciated and remembered.

Leverage the Law of Reciprocity. When you create positive experiences for others, they naturally feel inclined to reciprocate. This doesn't mean expecting immediate returns, but rather building goodwill and loyalty over time.

Focus on personalization. The most impactful positive experiences are those tailored to the individual. Pay attention to personal details and preferences to create meaningful gestures that resonate emotionally.

Ideas for creating positive experiences:

• Send handwritten thank-you notes
• Remember and acknowledge important dates (birthdays, anniversaries)
• Offer unexpected, thoughtful gifts
• Provide exclusive access or experiences
• Share relevant articles or resources
• Offer help beyond the scope of your business relationship
• Express genuine appreciation for their business or friendship

7. Develop Your Personal Brand

Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc.

Understand your perception. Your personal brand is how others perceive you. It's crucial to be aware of this perception and actively work to shape it positively.

Consistently manage your brand. Your personal brand is communicated through every interaction, both online and offline. Regularly assess and adjust your behaviors to ensure your brand maintains its integrity and value.

Personal branding strategies:

• Define your unique value proposition
• Consistently communicate your message across platforms
• Seek feedback on how others perceive you
• Actively manage your online presence
• Develop expertise in your field
• Network strategically to build your reputation
• Continuously refine and improve your interpersonal skills

Last updated: January 23, 2025