Key Takeaways
1. Childhood struggles with disability shape identity and self-perception
"I had learned to manage my disability by putting on a determined smile and believing that with the right adaptive strategies—the right clothes, the right attitude, and a sense of humor—I could adjust to any situation."
Early experiences shape self-image. Emily Rapp's journey with proximal focal femoral deficiency (PFFD) began at birth, leading to multiple surgeries and the use of prosthetics from a young age. These early experiences profoundly influenced her self-perception and approach to life.
Adaptive strategies and resilience. To cope with her disability, Rapp developed a range of adaptive strategies:
- Maintaining a positive attitude and determined smile
- Using humor to deflect attention and discomfort
- Carefully selecting clothing to conceal her prosthetic leg
- Developing a strong work ethic and drive to excel in other areas
These coping mechanisms, while initially helpful, ultimately contributed to a complex relationship with her disability and body image that would take years to unravel and address.
2. Overcompensation and the pursuit of perfection as coping mechanisms
"I was the superachiever; the poster child for what a person could accomplish with guts and determination."
Striving for excellence as compensation. Rapp's disability led her to pursue extraordinary achievements as a way to prove her worth and overcome perceived limitations. This manifested in various aspects of her life:
- Academic excellence and overachievement
- Intense focus on physical fitness and appearance
- Participation in challenging activities like skiing
- Constant drive to excel in all areas of life
The dark side of perfectionism. While this pursuit of perfection led to many accomplishments, it also had negative consequences:
- Development of disordered eating habits
- Intense self-criticism and low self-esteem
- Difficulty accepting help or admitting struggles
- Emotional exhaustion and eventual burnout
The pressure to be "extraordinary" in order to be seen as "normal" created a cycle of overcompensation that was ultimately unsustainable and detrimental to Rapp's mental health.
3. The complexities of disability representation and the "poster child" role
"I was proud of my disability when it afforded admiration and attention, but when it required that I ask for help, I felt ashamed."
The double-edged sword of visibility. As a child, Rapp became a poster child for the March of Dimes, which brought both positive and negative experiences:
- Increased visibility and admiration for her accomplishments
- Pressure to always present a positive, inspiring image
- Conflicting feelings about her disability as both a source of pride and shame
Navigating public perception. The role of disability representation came with complex challenges:
- Balancing personal experiences with public expectations
- Struggling with the dichotomy of being seen as either inspirational or pitiable
- Grappling with the authenticity of her public persona versus private struggles
This experience highlighted the complexities of disability representation and the pressure to conform to societal expectations of how a person with a disability should behave and feel.
4. Navigating relationships and intimacy with a physical difference
"I had never been completely naked with a man before and, I thought, one thing at a time."
Challenges in romantic relationships. Rapp's experiences with dating and intimacy were complicated by her disability:
- Fear of rejection due to her physical difference
- Difficulty accepting and revealing her body to partners
- Struggles with self-worth and desirability
The journey to sexual self-acceptance. Rapp's first sexual experiences were marked by:
- Anxiety about revealing her prosthetic leg
- Reluctance to remove the prosthesis during intimate moments
- Gradual steps towards vulnerability and authenticity in relationships
These experiences highlight the additional layers of complexity that individuals with disabilities often face in romantic and sexual relationships, including issues of body image, trust, and self-acceptance.
5. Travel and cultural immersion as catalysts for self-discovery
"I felt elated and terrified. In the book were detailed analyses of biblical texts and sociological studies explaining the emotional impact of feeling on the edge of the world or being viewed as a lesser person because of the shape and limits of your body."
Expanding horizons through travel. Rapp's experiences abroad, particularly in Ireland and South Korea, served as critical moments of self-discovery:
- Exposure to different cultural perspectives on disability
- Challenges to her established coping mechanisms and self-image
- Opportunities for independence and personal growth
Cultural shock and personal crisis. The intense experiences of cultural immersion led to:
- Confrontation with deeply held beliefs about herself and her disability
- Emergence of panic attacks and psychological distress
- Ultimate recognition of the need for self-acceptance and healing
These travel experiences, while initially destabilizing, ultimately served as catalysts for Rapp's journey towards a more authentic relationship with her disability and herself.
6. The psychological impact of living with a prosthetic limb
"I felt both protective and resentful of my leg that night. I felt that we had weathered some trial together, and through that experience it had become more than just an object, more than an expensive, human-made artificial device designed to make me appear whole."
The prosthesis as both tool and burden. Rapp's relationship with her prosthetic leg was complex and evolving:
- Gratitude for the mobility and independence it provided
- Frustration with its limitations and maintenance requirements
- Anxiety about its visibility and others' perceptions
Emotional connection to the prosthesis. Over time, Rapp developed a nuanced emotional relationship with her artificial limb:
- Personification of the prosthesis as a part of herself
- Conflicting feelings of attachment and resentment
- Struggles with identity as both an amputee and a prosthesis user
This psychological aspect of living with a prosthetic limb highlights the deeply personal and emotional nature of assistive devices for individuals with disabilities.
7. Confronting internalized ableism and the journey to self-acceptance
"For twenty-two years, I had been living as a willing stranger in the country of my own body; the geography and landscapes of its terrain felt foreign, although I'd lived within its borders all my life."
Recognizing internalized prejudices. Rapp's journey involved confronting her own internalized ableism:
- Acknowledging the impact of societal attitudes on her self-perception
- Recognizing patterns of self-deprecation and shame
- Challenging ingrained beliefs about disability and worth
The path to self-acceptance. Moving towards genuine self-acceptance required:
- Confronting deeply held fears and insecurities
- Reexamining her relationship with her body and disability
- Embracing vulnerability and authenticity in relationships and self-expression
This process of confronting internalized ableism and working towards self-acceptance was a crucial part of Rapp's personal growth and healing.
8. The role of family, community, and faith in disability experience
"I loved being alone with Melissa. She was glamorous in a sloppy, carefree way that I envied and admired."
Family support and challenges. Rapp's family played a crucial role in her disability experience:
- Parents' unwavering support and advocacy
- Sibling relationships affected by disability dynamics
- Family struggles with medical decisions and societal expectations
Community and peer relationships. Various communities shaped Rapp's experiences:
- Disability communities providing support and understanding
- School and social groups presenting challenges of inclusion and acceptance
- Religious community offering both comfort and complex theological questions
Faith and spirituality. Rapp's relationship with faith evolved throughout her journey:
- Early belief in miraculous healing and divine intervention
- Struggles with theological interpretations of disability
- Eventual development of a more nuanced, personal spirituality
These various support systems and communities played significant roles in shaping Rapp's experiences and understanding of her disability.
9. Challenging societal perceptions of disability and beauty standards
"I felt like the winner of a beauty contest, although I had received my title for an attribute that was certainly not coveted by others."
Navigating beauty standards. Rapp's experiences highlight the complex relationship between disability and societal beauty norms:
- Pressure to conform to conventional beauty standards
- Challenges of feeling attractive and desirable with a visible disability
- Efforts to redefine beauty to include diverse bodies and abilities
Changing perceptions. Through her journey, Rapp worked to challenge societal perceptions:
- Advocating for more inclusive representations of disability in media
- Confronting stereotypes and misconceptions about disability
- Promoting a broader understanding of beauty and worth
This aspect of Rapp's story underscores the importance of challenging and expanding societal perceptions of disability and beauty to create a more inclusive and accepting culture.
10. The power of storytelling and personal narrative in disability advocacy
"I knew a change was needed, but I was so afraid that if I finally accepted my body, if I dug deeply into my feelings of shame surrounding my disability, then I would be completely ejected from the normal world."
Finding voice through writing. Rapp discovered the power of storytelling as a tool for self-discovery and advocacy:
- Using writing to process and understand her experiences
- Sharing her story to challenge societal perceptions of disability
- Connecting with others through honest and vulnerable narratives
Impact of personal narratives. The act of sharing her story had profound effects:
- Empowering others with disabilities to share their experiences
- Educating non-disabled individuals about the realities of living with a disability
- Contributing to broader conversations about disability rights and representation
Rapp's journey as a writer and storyteller highlights the transformative power of personal narratives in disability advocacy and cultural change.
Last updated:
FAQ
What is Poster Child: A Memoir by Emily Rapp about?
- Memoir of disability and identity: The book chronicles Emily Rapp’s life with proximal focal femoral deficiency (PFFD), a congenital birth defect that led to the amputation of her left leg and lifelong use of prosthetic limbs.
- Exploration of self-acceptance: Rapp details her journey from childhood through adulthood, grappling with physical, emotional, and social challenges as she seeks to understand and accept her body and identity.
- Themes of faith and embodiment: The memoir delves into spiritual questions, the search for wholeness, and the intersection of disability, faith, and self-worth.
Why should I read Poster Child: A Memoir by Emily Rapp?
- Unique perspective on disability: Rapp offers an unflinching, deeply personal account of living with a visible physical difference, challenging stereotypes and societal expectations.
- Insight into faith and identity: The memoir provides thoughtful reflections on how disability intersects with faith, theology, and the quest for self-acceptance.
- Honest and inspiring narrative: Rapp’s candidness about her struggles and triumphs offers hope and encouragement to anyone facing adversity or grappling with their own sense of self.
Who is Emily Rapp, and what is her background as described in Poster Child?
- Author and protagonist: Emily Rapp was born in 1974 with PFFD and underwent multiple surgeries, including amputation, throughout her childhood.
- Family and upbringing: Raised in a devout Lutheran family in the Midwest, her parents—her father a pastor and her mother a nurse—were deeply involved in her care and spiritual life.
- Academic and personal achievements: Despite her disability, Rapp excelled academically, became a Fulbright scholar, and was an accomplished skier, demonstrating resilience and determination.
What is proximal focal femoral deficiency (PFFD) as explained in Poster Child?
- Definition and impact: PFFD is a congenital disorder causing abnormal development of the femur, resulting in a significantly shortened leg and functional asymmetry.
- Medical challenges: The condition required multiple surgeries, including osteotomies and amputation, to improve mobility and allow for prosthetic use.
- Emotional and social effects: PFFD shaped Rapp’s identity, influencing how she was perceived by others and how she viewed herself in a society focused on physical normalcy.
How did Emily Rapp’s experience as a March of Dimes poster child influence her life and identity?
- Early public identity: At age six, Rapp became a March of Dimes poster child, publicly displaying her prosthetic leg and presenting herself as strong and undaunted.
- Pressure to overachieve: The role instilled a drive to be extraordinary, leading her to compensate for her disability through academic and personal achievements.
- Long-term impact: This experience contributed to her struggles with self-acceptance and the need to prove her worth beyond her physical difference.
How does Poster Child by Emily Rapp explore the social perception of disability and physical difference?
- Stigma and curiosity: Rapp describes being stared at, pitied, or misunderstood, and how she learned to cope with these reactions through humor and resilience.
- Desire for normalcy: The memoir highlights the tension between embracing difference and striving for acceptance in a society obsessed with physical perfection.
- Community and solidarity: Rapp finds belonging and empowerment through connections with other disabled individuals, contrasting with the isolation she sometimes felt in mainstream settings.
What role do prosthetic limbs play in Emily Rapp’s life as depicted in Poster Child?
- Essential for mobility: Prosthetic legs were crucial for Rapp’s independence, evolving from basic wooden models to advanced hydraulic designs.
- Complex relationship: She developed both attachment and frustration toward her prostheses, viewing them as both extensions of herself and sources of pain or limitation.
- Symbolic significance: Her collection of old prosthetic legs became physical embodiments of her life story, marking different stages of adaptation and self-understanding.
How does Poster Child address faith, spirituality, and theology in the context of disability?
- Faith as comfort and conflict: Rapp’s Lutheran upbringing provided hope and community but also led to difficult questions about suffering, prayer, and divine purpose.
- Theology of embodiment: Influenced by Nancy Eiesland’s The Disabled God, Rapp reframes disability as part of human wholeness, not a deficit needing correction.
- Ongoing spiritual journey: The memoir explores her evolving beliefs, from seeking healing to embracing a theology that values difference and ongoing self-acceptance.
What were some of the key medical and surgical experiences Emily Rapp underwent in Poster Child?
- Multiple surgeries: Rapp endured osteotomies, foot amputation, knee fusion, and other procedures aimed at improving limb function and prosthetic fit.
- Challenging rehabilitation: Recovery involved grueling physical therapy, body casts, and learning to adapt to new prostheses and mobility aids.
- Psychological impact: She experienced phantom limb pain and emotional distress, adding complexity to her physical challenges.
How does Emily Rapp describe the challenges of intimacy and sexuality in Poster Child?
- Fear and vulnerability: Rapp struggled with the idea of being desired as an amputee, fearing rejection and feeling "monstrous and deformed" without her prosthesis.
- Navigating relationships: Her first sexual experiences were fraught with anxiety about her body and the visibility of her disability.
- Gradual acceptance: Through friendships and relationships, including with other disabled women, she began to explore new possibilities for intimacy and self-acceptance.
What is the significance of the conference of disabled women at the Lutheran World Federation in Geneva in Poster Child?
- Shared sisterhood: The conference brought together disabled women from around the world, allowing Rapp to hear diverse stories and feel a unique sense of belonging.
- Truth and vulnerability: For the first time, she spoke openly about hating her body without needing to perform or be extraordinary, finding freedom in honesty.
- Shift in perspective: The experience led to practical recommendations for inclusivity and helped Rapp move from shame to ownership and advocacy regarding her disability.
What are the most memorable quotes from Poster Child: A Memoir by Emily Rapp, and what do they signify?
- On pain and embodiment: "The body has a remarkable ability to displace pain...sooner or later the pain ends up in your heart. And that's where it stays" (127), encapsulating the emotional journey of living with disability.
- On extraordinary effort: "Being extraordinary was the only way to be ordinary" (205), reflecting the pressure to overachieve to compensate for difference.
- On authenticity and courage: Critics praised Rapp’s "cauterizing specificity" and "incandescent candor," highlighting the memoir’s honest and brave narrative style.
- On pride and vulnerability: Rapp writes, "I was proud of my disability when it afforded admiration and attention, but when it required that I ask for help, I felt ashamed," capturing the complex interplay of pride and shame in her story.
Review Summary
Poster Child receives mixed reviews, with ratings ranging from 2 to 5 stars. Readers appreciate Rapp's honesty about her experiences growing up with a prosthetic leg and her struggles with body image and self-acceptance. Many find her writing style engaging and relatable. Some criticize the book for being repetitive or focusing too much on mundane details. Several reviewers note that the memoir ends abruptly, leaving them wanting more information about Rapp's later life and how she overcame her challenges.
Download PDF
Download EPUB
.epub digital book format is ideal for reading ebooks on phones, tablets, and e-readers.
