Respect in a World of Inequality

1. Respect is Scarce in a World of Inequality

Lack of respect, though less aggressive than an outright insult, can take an equally wounding form.

Invisible harm. Respect is often in short supply, not because it costs anything, but because societies fail to extend recognition across boundaries of inequality. This lack of recognition, where someone is "not seen—as a full human being whose presence matters," is deeply wounding, akin to a famine of this precious substance. It's a man-made scarcity.

Early experience. Growing up in Cabrini Green, a racially mixed public housing project, the author witnessed this scarcity firsthand. White residents, forced into integrated living by economic need, felt like "servants of racial inclusion as imagined by a superior class." Black residents, while finding better housing than the South, still faced age-old invisibility.

Demeaning conditions. The project imposed passivity, denying residents control over their lives and rendering them "spectators to their own needs." This condition, coupled with the shame American adults often associate with dependence, particularly welfare dependency, created an environment where respect was fragile and unequally distributed.

2. Talent Creates Inequality and Challenges Self-Worth

Ability, however, takes two unequal forms.

Unequal forms. Talent, while often seen as a source of self-respect and social esteem, inherently creates inequality. The book distinguishes between craft (doing something well for its own sake) and potential ability (unrealized capacity). Craft provides an inner sense of self-worth, independent of others' regard, but doesn't necessarily foster mutual respect.

Invidious comparison. The modern emphasis on "careers open to talent" and meritocracy, while intended to replace inherited privilege, has created new forms of invidious comparison. Competitions, like the piano contest the author observed, can paralyze those who don't win, challenging their self-confidence and making them feel like "losers."

Enigma of talent. Talent is increasingly mysterious:

• Virtuoso/Specialist: Skills are unfathomable to others, creating a power dynamic where the expert dominates.
• Potential/Aptitude: Ability is a mystery to oneself, judged early in life, leading to anxiety and the fear of not living up to expectations.
  This focus on potential can undermine the self-respect of those who achieve through "plodding effort" or who fear standing out.

3. Dependence is Shamed Publicly, Not Privately

To be poor is an objective condition; to be dependent, a subjective one as well.

Public vs. Private. While dependence is natural and often strengthens bonds in private life (e.g., child on parent, friend on friend), it is widely viewed as shameful in the public realm, particularly in the context of welfare. This stems from the "infantilization thesis," which posits that dependence on government makes adults behave like children, lacking rational self-sovereignty.

Liberal ideal. Classic liberalism, from Locke to Kant, championed the independent, self-maintaining citizen who uses reason to govern themselves, contrasting this with the contemptible, parasitic courtier. This ideal, however, often overlooked the psychological complexities of dependence and the shame associated with needing help, especially when it involves exposing weakness.

Cultural specificity. The coupling of shame and dependence is not universal. Cultures like the Japanese, with the concept of amae (expecting to be cared for), or Indian villages where appealing for help is "literally without shame," demonstrate that needing others doesn't inherently lead to dishonor. Modern psychology also distinguishes shame (inadequacy) from guilt (transgression), suggesting shame is linked more to competitive comparison than to dependence itself.

4. Compassion Can Wound When Inequality Persists

Compassion may itself be a substitute for justice, since pity “always signifies inequality.”

Benevolence's shadow. Acts of caregiving and compassion, while seemingly positive, can be fraught with difficulty, especially across lines of inequality. The author contrasts Jane Addams's reserved, professional social work with Mother Cabrini's open, religiously motivated charity, highlighting the tension between doing good and being seen to do good.

Pitfalls of giving. Giving can be manipulative (largesse), creating slavish submission, or self-involved (caritas), focused on the giver's own transformation rather than the recipient's needs. As the anthropologist Mary Douglas notes, "charity wounds" by imposing a heavy burden of gratitude and failing to acknowledge a mutual relationship.

Pity's contempt. Pity, often seen as a form of compassion, carries an "under-tow of contempt." As Hannah Arendt argued, pity "always signifies inequality" and can be a substitute for addressing systemic injustice. This leads some welfare reformers to advocate for "caregiving without compassion," such as basic income policies, aiming for impersonal provision to avoid the pitfalls of subjective sentiment and the risk of "compassion fatigue."

5. Bureaucracy Shapes Respect Through Judgment and Inclusion

In a modern state real rule becomes effective in everyday life neither through parliamentary speeches nor through the pronouncements of monarchs but through the day-to-day management of the administration.

Order from chaos. Rigid bureaucracy emerged in the late 19th century as a "search for order" to manage the chaos of competitive capitalism and the miseries it produced. Modeled on military structures (the pyramid), it provided a clear chain of command and aimed to impose order internally, as seen in Ford Motor Works.

Regulating respect. Bureaucratic pyramids, including those in the welfare state, possessed the power to regulate self-respect and communal respect by passing judgment and awarding approval. For residents of early Cabrini, receiving the Chicago Housing Authority's "stamp of approval" mattered, providing a sense of inclusion and worth previously denied.

Cost of inclusion. While providing a "Lebensführung" (life narrative in an institution) and fostering loyalty, rigid bureaucracy often denied autonomy. Clients were treated as whole human beings but were not seen as competent to participate in the terms of their own dependency. This led to complaints of being "got at" and feeling naked under bureaucratic scrutiny, a paradox where the search for order violated personal boundaries.

6. Modern Flexible Organizations Weaken Social Bonds

Flexibility thus permits a particular exercise of inequality.

Flat and short. Modern organizations, driven by globalization and shareholder demands, have moved away from the rigid pyramid towards flatter, shorter structures resembling a "disk." This involves de-layering bureaucracy, emphasizing temporary tasks and teams, and prioritizing short-term returns.

Concentrated power. While seemingly less hierarchical, these structures concentrate power at the top (the "central processing unit"). Information technology allows for swift, precise command and surveillance, reducing the "interpretative modulation" of the old pyramid. This creates sharper inequalities ("winner-take-all" outcomes) and can function as a more "total institution" by demanding rapid adaptation.

Weak social bonds. Flexible work environments tend to forge weak social bonds. With short-term tasks, frequent team rotations, and a climate of detachment (survival strategy in unstable firms), people spend less time getting to know one another. This weakens fraternity and reduces the likelihood of forming supportive networks among colleagues.

7. Community Care Struggles to Bridge Inequality

Very few friendships could or should bear the weight of providing sustained or effective help.

Shift to community. As rigid welfare bureaucracies are "hollowed out," more burdens are placed on community-based care and volunteers. This reflects a desire for more spontaneous, emotionally full relationships (Gemeinschaft) compared to impersonal bureaucracy (Gesellschaft).

Limits of spontaneity. However, effective community care, especially for complex issues like juvenile delinquency or drug addiction, requires planned narratives, long-term commitment, and often bureaucratic support (doctors, legal aid, financial support). Relying solely on spontaneous, voluntary help is often insufficient and unsustainable, leading to high volunteer turnover.

Idealizing volunteers. The American model of volunteerism, while generating significant charitable wealth, often emphasizes personal fulfillment and "bonding" relationships (reinforcing exclusive identities) over "bridging" relationships (connecting across social cleavages). This can impede perceiving and addressing the needs of strangers, highlighting that friendship is not a substitute for the structural provision of care.

8. Ritual Exchange Can Foster Mutual Respect

Reciprocity is the foundation of mutual respect.

Performing bonds. Mutual respect is an expressive performance, requiring finding words and gestures to make it felt. Rituals, like the duchess's pharmacy or musicians playing together, provide frameworks for these performances, knitting people together through shared actions and knowing silences, even across lines of inequality.

Asymmetric exchange. Anthropologists like Marcel Mauss, studying societies like the Trobriand Islanders, found that reciprocal gift-giving, even when asymmetrical (not equal value returned), creates binding social relationships. This contrasts with capitalist exchange, which aims for balance and clears the debt, thus failing to bind emotionally.

Socialist lesson. Mauss saw a lesson for socialism in asymmetric exchange: the welfare state owes workers security not just as a return on contributions (which have no monetary equivalent), but because a lifetime of labor creates a debt that can never be fully discharged. Reciprocity in welfare means recipients giving back something, perhaps participation or symbolic return, to acknowledge the mutual relationship and avoid the "wound" of charity.

9. Character Develops by Turning Outward, Challenging Tacit Security

Only when an organism shares in the ordered relations of its environment does it secure the stability essential to living.

Tacit security. Character, understood as the capacity to relate to others and the world, is initially rooted in tacit knowledge and ingrained habits, providing "ontological security." This allows for efficient communication, focus on tasks, trust, and self-confidence, as seen in the Bororo tribe's village planning or a pianist's learned wrist action.

Challenging habit. However, this tacit security can lead to paralysis or vulnerability when faced with new challenges. Character develops by actively challenging these ingrained habits and tacit understandings, moving from tacit to explicit knowledge and back again, enriching one's repertoire of responses. This requires a "surrender" or "renunciation of possession," taking responsibility for breaking down one's own certainties.

Turn outward. This process involves a "turn outward," engaging and interpreting the alien and the new, rather than simply preserving the past (bricolage). While modern "disk" organizations claim to foster this through imposed change, true turning outward involves disinterested curiosity and a willingness to explore difficulties, a strength often lacking lower down in unequal institutions where risk breeds fear, not exploration.

10. The Politics of Respect Requires Expressive Acts Across Difference

The person who returns to others with disturbing news has, somehow, to impress on them that his story bears on their lives.

Bridging divides. The book concludes by reflecting on the difficulty of bridging divides of inequality and difference, drawing on personal and historical examples. The author's uncle, a former Communist turned capitalist, struggled to reconcile his inclusive "gut feeling" for socialism with the rigid, conformist politics of his time, which demanded a social bond where the image of self was indistinguishable from the group.

Narrative vs. Image. Group identity often relies on shared images or "Weltanschauung" (worldview) that classify and simplify, providing a sense of security but resisting change. Mutual respect across difference requires sharing narratives, which are more arduous and uncertain but allow for the emergence of differences and discontinuities.

Expressive performance. Overcoming the power of rigid group images and fostering mutual respect requires expressive performances. Like Robert, the former drug dealer who manipulated street codes to build a respectable life, individuals must find ways to assert their character and values while still engaging with others. This involves navigating the tension between self-respect (anchored in inner values) and mutual respect (built through exchange), a difficult art in an unequal world.

Last updated: May 1, 2025