Say It Well

1. Public Speaking is a Learnable Skill

To struggle with public speaking, it seems, is to be human.

Overcome fear. Many people fear public speaking more than death, rooted in ancient survival instincts where social rejection was fatal. The author, a White House speechwriter, struggled for years, freezing up or stumbling, despite writing for powerful speakers like Obama. This fear is common and doesn't mean you aren't meant to speak.

Skill, not talent. Public speaking is not an innate gift but a skill developed through practice and learning. Obama himself struggled early on, freezing up or being too wonkish, but improved by speaking in church basements, classrooms, and campaigns. Brayden Harrington, a teen with a stutter, found courage by embracing his "imperfections are your gifts" mindset.

Believe in yourself. The first step is believing your voice matters and you deserve to be heard. This starts with knowing and loving your own "sacred story"—who you are, where you come from, what you believe. Ignoring the voice of doubt allows you to step into the spotlight.

2. Your Unique Story is Your Power

give the speech that only you can give.

Authenticity matters. Audiences seek originality and authenticity; they want to hear your perspective and stories. Sharing personal experiences, like Obama's multicultural background or the author's working-class roots, creates a unique connection. It's not about being narcissistic, but about bringing your distinct self to the moment.

Less scary, more compelling. Speaking from your own life is less intimidating because you know your story best. It also makes you more compelling and credible, as conviction and experience shine through. If someone else could deliver your speech and it still makes sense, it's too generic.

Inspire action. Personal stories are memorable and persuasive. Nancy Brinker's story of her sister Susan Komen motivated billions for breast cancer research. John, a CEO, boosted morale and sales by sharing his company's humble, veteran-led origins. Alphonso Davies's journey from refugee camp to national team helped win the World Cup bid for North America.

3. A Speech is a Performance

A speech is a performance—like a play.

More than words. A speech isn't an essay or report; it's a live, shared experience between speaker and audience. It has setting, staging, a script, and an audience, meant to be heard and felt. Understanding this empowers you with creative control.

Be yourself. You are the lead, perfectly cast. Don't try to sound like someone else, like Obama or a conventional politician. Authenticity builds credibility. Obama learned to be himself, even if it meant talking about uncomfortable truths.

Create an experience. Great speeches create a "current of emotion," a "neural coupling" where speaker and listener brains align. Donovan Livingston's spoken-word poem electrified his audience because he immersed himself in the performance and invited participation. You can design this experience by:

• Writing the script you want
• Taking charge of the program flow
• Adding visual/audio spectacle (avoiding Death by PowerPoint)
• Making the audience part of the show
• Sharing the stage with others

4. Prepare Wisely with the 50-25-25 Rule

the more prepared you are, the less nervous you’ll be when it’s time to deliver—because you know you’re ready.

Prioritize preparation. Don't rush into writing. The 50-25-25 Rule suggests spending half your time thinking, researching, and organizing, a quarter writing, and a quarter editing and practicing. This structured approach ensures you know where you're going.

Scope it out. Achieve 100% Situational Awareness by asking questions about your audience (who they are, what they expect), the event (purpose, context), your role (why you were invited, where you fit), and the logistics (venue, staging, time limit). Knowing the landscape prevents surprises.

Think it out. Determine your core message. What's the single story you're telling? Boil it down to ten words or less as your North Star. Identify 3-4 key points supporting this message. Obama often started speech prep by asking, "What's the story we're trying to tell here?"

Figure it out. Be a good researcher. Learn from history, listen to others (family, colleagues, experts), and seek diverse perspectives. Look for "gold"—surprising quotes, compelling stories, small details that illuminate bigger truths. Ask everyone for ideas, even unexpected sources like a van driver.

5. Connect Emotionally and Appeal to Values

We have sincere differences, but I think we’re motivated by deeply shared principles.

Speak from the heart. Overloading with facts and statistics (logos) often fails to persuade or motivate. People are moved by emotion (pathos). Greta Thunberg's passionate UN speech resonated more than her data-heavy one. Michelle Obama insisted on an "emotional core" in her speeches.

Use emotional language. Words triggering strong emotions (awe, anger, anxiety) are more likely to be remembered and shared. Use tools like an "Emotions Wheel" to find words that truly convey your feelings (e.g., "indignant" instead of "angry"). Sharing your emotions builds trust.

Be vulnerable. Sharing personal struggles, pain, or setbacks connects deeply. Olivia Vella's poem about body image resonated globally because she was vulnerable. Speaking to one person in the audience, like Obama speaking to Uncle Dan after the Boston Marathon bombing, can make the universal feel personal.

Appeal to shared values. Frame your message around values your audience cherishes (care, fairness, loyalty, liberty, etc.). This bridges divides, as seen in the Braver Angels workshops. Obama consistently appealed to shared American values like freedom, opportunity, and equality. Values are often universal and can connect across cultures.

6. Speak Like a Human, Make it Sing

pathos beats logos.

Avoid jargon. Don't speak in "word salad," "bafflegab," or "bureaucratese." Jargon creates a "Curse of Knowledge," alienating your audience. Use the BBQ Rule: if you wouldn't say it at a BBQ with family, don't say it in a speech. Keep it simple, aiming for an eighth-grade reading level.

Talk about people. Focus on real-world outcomes and the human impact, not just abstract concepts, programs, or processes. Ellen Moy's nonprofit appeals resonated when she spoke about giving children dignity, not just managing operations. Avoid acronyms that perplex (SWAP).

Bring rhythm and melody. A good speech, like a song, has cadence, beat, and rhythm. Don't be predictable; surprise your audience with fresh language. Turn prose into poetry with mellifluous words. Write your speech like a script, with lines and spaces, to build in breaths and vary sentence length.

Use repetition and pauses. Refrains, the Rule of Three, and alliteration add rhythm and memorability. Obama's "Yes, we can" refrain and varied sentence structure in his New Hampshire speech created a powerful rhythm. Pauses add emphasis, drama, and allow your words to sink in, like the silences in Miles Davis's music.

7. Tell the Truth, Build Credibility

To be persuasive, we must be believable; To be believable, we must be credible; To be credible, we must be truthful.

Uphold honesty. In an era of misinformation, telling the truth is paramount. Lies travel fast and erode trust. Don't plagiarize, make things up, or get facts wrong. Fact-check everything using reliable sources.

Be honest about reality. Avoid "happy talk" or painting an overly optimistic picture that ignores challenges. Obama acknowledged the ongoing threat of terrorism even when celebrating achievements. Be honest about what you know and don't know, especially in a crisis.

Face the elephant. Don't hide from controversies, criticisms, or difficult truths. Acknowledge the "elephant in the room" directly, ideally early on. Obama addressed the "controversy" of receiving the Nobel Peace Prize while at war head-on.

Avoid absolutes and embrace nuance. Life is rarely black and white. Avoid sweeping statements like "everyone always" or "no one ever." Acknowledge complexity and different perspectives. Obama's speech on race in Philadelphia grappled with the nuances of anger in both Black and white communities.

Speak hard truths. Good speakers tell their audience what they need to hear, not just what they want to hear. John McCain defended Obama's background to a hostile crowd. Obama challenged Wall Street executives and defended Israel's right to exist while advocating for Palestinians. Rachael Denhollander spoke painful truths about abuse to hold a powerful institution accountable.

8. Turn Your Words into Deeds

Talk alone doesn’t cook rice.

Words need action. Eloquent words are empty without concrete actions. Tim Geithner's speech failed because it lacked specifics on the financial rescue plan. Effective speakers offer a prescription, not just a diagnosis.

Share lessons learned. Offer practical takeaways from your own experiences that your audience can apply. Admiral McRaven's commencement speech shared ten lessons from SEAL training, giving graduates tools for life.

Have a clear ask. Every presentation needs a call to action. Be specific about what you want your audience to do. Small, tangible actions are often more effective than vague appeals for "support."

List your demands. If calling for change, clearly articulate your demands, one by one. Kimberly Mata-Rubio, after losing her daughter in Uvalde, listed specific gun safety measures she wanted Congress to pass. Specificity makes it harder for leaders to ignore.

Lead by example. Back up your words with your own actions. Don't just say "volunteer more," commit to volunteering yourself. Robert F. Smith's pledge to pay off Morehouse graduates' student loans was a powerful deed that amplified his message and inspired others.

9. End with Hope

You have to end with hope.

Inspire, don't paralyze. While fear can motivate, it can also overwhelm and lead to fatalism. Hope, rooted in the belief that progress is possible, is a more sustainable motivator. End your speech by tapping into your audience's potential "optimism bias."

Hope is realistic. Hope is not blind optimism or wishful thinking. It acknowledges challenges and roadblocks. It's the belief that something better is possible if we work and fight for it. Prepare your audience for the difficulty ahead, but assure them the goal is attainable.

Hope is action-oriented. Hope is about goals, willpower, and pathways. It's matched by the deeds you ask of your audience. Hope without action is false hope. Show your audience that their actions are the key to realizing the vision.

Offer a vision. Give your audience a clear picture of the better future that awaits if they act. This vision serves as a goal to organize and measure their efforts. Felix Finkbeiner's vision of planting a trillion trees mobilized a global movement.

Hope is contagious. Your hope can inspire hope in others. Cory Remsburg's perseverance in recovery became a source of hope for millions. End your speech with your most hopeful story, a question that challenges, or a vision realized. Leave your audience wanting more, empowered to act.

Last updated: June 28, 2025