Small Pleasures

1. The Philosophy: Small Pleasures Hold Big Meaning

Small pleasures turn out not to be small at all: they are points of access to the great themes of our lives.

Overlooked treasures. We often exhaust ourselves pursuing grand, elusive pleasures, neglecting the wealth of small joys readily available. These daily moments, from holding a child's hand to enjoying the evening sky, offer solace and joy at little cost.

A skill to learn. Enjoying life, especially its small pleasures, is not automatic but a skill that requires encouragement and practice. This book serves as a guide, using a "magnifying glass" approach to explore why these moments touch and move us.

Cultural project. Appreciating small pleasures is part of a larger cultural shift needed to move them from the margins to the center of our collective consciousness. By understanding their true importance, we heighten our senses and return to the world with renewed excitement.

2. Finding Perspective in the Vastness

The desert provides a needed, strategic renewal of perspective.

Diminished by majesty. Looking at stars or vast deserts pleasantly diminishes us, humbling without humiliating. Our daily troubles seem smaller when viewed against the magnitude of the cosmos or aeons of geological time.

Beyond the local. These experiences draw us out of anxious preoccupation with the immediate, directing thoughts to matters in which we have no personal stake. They offer a direct, sensory impression of immensity, providing a helpful perspective on the brevity of human existence.

Majestic necessities. The desert, with its indifference and scale, teaches us that the universe is mightier, we are frail and temporary, and we must accept limitations. This lesson, written grandly in stone and sand, can inspire rather than crush, showing us the privilege of being subject to such necessities.

3. Connecting with Our Deeper Selves

Staring out of the window offers a way for us to listen out for the quieter suggestions and perspectives of our deeper selves.

Beyond the demands. Moments like being up late at night, alone in a hotel, or simply staring out a window offer crucial separation from community demands and external pressures. They allow us to return to a bigger duty: to ourselves.

Untapped potential. Our minds contain vast, unexplored potential that doesn't emerge under direct questioning. Purpose-free calm, like that found staring out a window, allows shy, tentative parts of ourselves to be heard, like church bells after traffic dies down.

Strategic rebellion. Daydreaming and solitary moments are a rebellion against excessive demands for immediate productivity. They respect the creative potential of reverie, allowing important thoughts to grow in a benign mental climate, revealing our weirder, truer selves.

4. The Unexpected Joys of Human Connection

The teasing old friend finds the small, wonderful intersection: they see us as we really are and yet they love us.

Beyond the surface. Connection isn't just about shared interests but also shared vulnerabilities and imperfections. Realizing you dislike the same popular person or experiencing the gentle teasing of old friends creates a bond around honest admissions.

Tenderness and acceptance. Simple acts like holding hands with a small child or noticing a beloved's wrist can rekindle tenderness and remind us of dormant capacities for unconditional kindness. Flirting, beyond its erotic aspect, is a generous act of showing someone they are liked and found attractive.

Love through difficulty. Getting over a row reveals that the capacity to be awful to someone is a strange feature of love, born from feeling safe enough to drop guards. Forgiveness, at its best, comes from understanding the other's struggles, finding a "wonderful intersection" where being fully known doesn't preclude being loved.

5. Rediscovering Wonder in the Ordinary

The fish shop isn’t simply a place to pick up calamari rings or some cod steaks, it is also a place of re-enchantment.

Beauty in the mundane. Everyday places and things, like a fish shop, small islands, cows, or old stone walls, hold unexpected beauty and fascination. They offer re-enchantment, counteracting our tendency to become jaded and overlook the world's inventiveness.

Attention reveals depth. Paying close attention to the ordinary—the architecture of a skate fin, the distinctiveness of a cypress tree, the closing petals of a daisy—reveals layers of meaning, history, and resilience that are easily missed in the rush of life.

Lessons in plain sight. These ordinary things offer quiet lessons: cows teach patience and dignity, old walls teach endurance and that things can get nicer with age, daisies teach about natural rhythms and the flawed link between rarity and prestige.

6. Finding Solace and Comfort in Simple Acts

A hot bath fits into this category.

Reliable havens. Certain simple acts provide reliable comfort and satisfaction within our grasp. A hot bath offers a return to easy nakedness and a space for productive thought, while wearing a favorite old jumper provides a sense of being uncovered yet cozy, accumulating love over time.

Physical and emotional ease. Feeling well again after illness makes simple bodily functions sources of pleasure, reminding us not to take basic health for granted. Thick socks offer physical comfort that can translate into emotional patience and a sense of being cared for.

Nostalgia and self-compassion. Being offered a childhood biscuit or experiencing the pleasant ache after exercise connects us to past selves and efforts. These moments offer a gentle form of self-compassion, appreciating the little person we were or the capable person we can be.

7. Challenging Our Prejudices and Ego

Their villainy reveals your quiet moral heroism.

Re-calibrating normal. Reading about crimes in the newspaper, however horrific, can strangely be a source of pleasure by redrawing the scale of strangeness. Compared to extreme villainy, our own peculiarities and struggles seem squarely back in the realm of the humdrum and average.

Wisdom through contrast. Feeling someone else is deeply wrong, even on trivial matters, can provide a thrilling sense of our own knowledge and insight by contrast. It offers the satisfaction of inhabiting a simpler, clearer world, free from nuance and ambiguity for a moment.

Growth through challenge. Gaining the respect of a previously suspicious colleague is satisfying because their approval is earned, a measure of our own development. Getting a great work of art "for yourself," independent of expert opinion, builds trust in the validity of your own reactions and challenges cultural intimidation.

8. The Power of Imagination and Internal Worlds

A book knows you by pinpointing – and taking very seriously – a major but often ignored problem that happens to be looming in your existence.

Validation and sympathy. Books that "understand" us offer profound validation for our hidden struggles and weirder sorrows, making them feel acceptable and normal. They provide sympathy for aspects of ourselves we fear sharing, like an ideal parent or friend.

Catharsis and insight. Crying cathartically over fictional deaths allows us to process real griefs and vulnerabilities in a safe space. It reminds us of the idiotic randomness of death and our own capacity for pure goodness and tenderness, often hidden in daily life.

Exploring possibilities. "Bad" magazines allow us to explore alternative versions of ourselves and develop kinship with others across social divides. Indulgent pessimism, framed as a calculated strategy, offers a sympathetic antidote to oppressive optimism, bonding us around shared sobering realities.

9. Embracing Imperfection and Vulnerability

Self-pity is compassion we extend to ourselves.

Reframing difficult emotions. Self-pity, often seen negatively, can be a sweet and necessary emotion, a form of compassion for the inherent difficulties of existence. It's a protective shell allowing us to manage immense disappointments.

Accepting flaws. Crushes reveal our willingness to project ideals onto others, but understanding them helps us access our own ideals and accept that real people, including ourselves, have problems and failings.

Love's complexities. Getting over a row highlights that love includes the madder, unreasonable parts of ourselves. It's a turbulent passage that can lead to deeper reconciliation by forcing us to confront conflicts and find ways to cope with unresolved issues.

10. Cultivating Appreciation Through Deliberate Practice

Small pleasures need rituals.

Beyond spontaneity. While spontaneity is nice, relying solely on chance means many small pleasures are missed. Rituals, like a planned walk or a specific way of eating a fig, mandate actions and attitudes to reliably induce valuable states of mind and heightened appreciation.

Structured enjoyment. Planning an ideal routine, even if not perfectly followed, is a pleasure in itself. It takes issue with the Romantic idea that only the unplanned is lovely, showing the delight in organizing life and making space for things often neglected, like thinking or observing.

Making space. The point of identifying small pleasures is not just to note them but to make a reliable, larger place for them in our lives. They are not intense enough to demand attention like addictions, so we must actively build up their presence through conscious effort and structure.

Last updated: May 4, 2025