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Soulful Spirituality

Soulful Spirituality

Becoming Fully Alive and Deeply Human
by David G. Benner 2011 206 pages
4.17
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Spirituality is essential for becoming fully human and alive

The glory of God is men and women who are fully alive, fully human.

Spirituality and humanity intertwined. Contrary to popular belief, spirituality is not about escaping our humanity, but embracing it fully. It is the path to becoming deeply human and fully alive. This journey involves:

  • Developing our unique personhood
  • Cultivating awareness and presence
  • Embracing our emotions and bodily experiences
  • Living with authenticity and integrity

Universal human journey. Spirituality is not limited to religious people or specific personality types. It is a fundamental dimension of all human beings, shaping how we orient our lives in relation to that which is beyond ourselves. Our spirituality guides our response to our deepest longings, channels our vitality, and provides the framework for making sense of our lives.

2. True spirituality embraces our humanity, not escapes it

Without wonder we approach life as a self-help project. . . . Without wonder the motivational energies for living well get dominated by anxiety and guilt.

Grounded in reality. Authentic spirituality is not about escaping the human condition, but fully embracing it. This includes:

  • Accepting our bodies, emotions, and sexuality
  • Facing our limitations and vulnerabilities
  • Engaging with the mundane details of everyday life
  • Finding meaning in suffering and struggle

Integration, not separation. True spirituality integrates all aspects of our being - body, mind, and spirit. It does not create false dichotomies between the sacred and profane, or spiritual and material. Instead, it seeks to bring wholeness and alignment to all dimensions of our lives.

3. Spirit and soul are interconnected aspects of our being

Spirit is the fire in the belly that we need if we are to live as humans, not machines. It is the vital life energy that Freud called the life instinct.

Spirit as vitality. Spirit represents the dynamic, energizing aspect of our being. It is associated with:

  • Passion and enthusiasm
  • Creativity and inspiration
  • Transcendence and self-expansion
  • Connection to the divine or ultimate reality

Soul as depth. Soul, on the other hand, represents the grounding, containing aspect of our being. It is associated with:

  • Depth of experience and emotion
  • Reflective capacity and meaning-making
  • Connection to our authentic self
  • Rootedness in the realities of life

Both spirit and soul are essential for a balanced, integrated spirituality that supports our journey of becoming fully human.

4. Awareness and wonder are foundational to soulful spirituality

Awareness is the doorway to both the present moment and the transcendent.

Cultivating awareness. Developing our capacity for awareness is crucial for soulful living. This involves:

  • Paying attention to our bodily sensations and emotions
  • Being present to the current moment
  • Noticing the details of our environment
  • Observing our thoughts without getting caught up in them

Nurturing wonder. Wonder opens us to the extraordinary within the ordinary. It involves:

  • Approaching life with curiosity and openness
  • Allowing ourselves to be surprised and delighted
  • Seeing the sacred in everyday experiences
  • Cultivating a sense of awe and reverence for life

Practices like mindfulness meditation, contemplative walking, and artistic expression can help develop awareness and wonder.

5. Honoring the otherness of others connects us to the divine

Honoring otherness has always been a central aspect of Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, each of which understands that beyond the immanent other is the Transcendent Other.

Embracing diversity. Truly honoring the otherness of others involves:

  • Respecting different perspectives and experiences
  • Cultivating curiosity about those different from us
  • Resisting the urge to make others like ourselves
  • Recognizing the sacred in each person

Dialogue and hospitality. Genuine encounters with others require:

  • Openness to being changed by the interaction
  • Willingness to suspend our assumptions
  • Creating space for authentic sharing
  • Practicing deep listening and empathy

By honoring otherness, we open ourselves to encountering the divine in unexpected places and expand our capacity for love and compassion.

6. Embracing reality grounds us in authentic living

There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality, for life is maintained and nourished in us by our vital relation with realities outside and above us.

Facing what is. Embracing reality involves:

  • Acknowledging our limitations and vulnerabilities
  • Accepting both pleasant and unpleasant experiences
  • Confronting our shadow aspects and inner conflicts
  • Letting go of illusions and false narratives

Living authentically. Grounding ourselves in reality allows us to:

  • Develop genuine self-awareness
  • Make choices aligned with our true values
  • Cultivate integrity in our relationships
  • Find meaning in the midst of life's challenges

Practices like journaling, meditation, and honest dialogue with trusted others can help us embrace reality more fully.

7. Presence and surrender open us to transformation

Presence is a gift, but it is also a practice. It is something we can do that will enrich our inner life and allow us, simply by our being, to do the same for others.

Cultivating presence. Being fully present involves:

  • Developing inner stillness and silence
  • Letting go of distractions and preoccupations
  • Opening ourselves to the current moment
  • Offering our undivided attention to others

Practicing surrender. Surrender is not about resignation, but about:

  • Releasing our need for control
  • Accepting what we cannot change
  • Trusting in a larger reality beyond our ego
  • Opening ourselves to transformation and growth

Both presence and surrender require ongoing practice and a willingness to let go of our habitual patterns of thinking and reacting.

8. Soulful spirituality integrates body, mind, and spirit

Spirituality becomes explicitly religious when it begins to involve a personal relationship to a self-transcendent reference point for life.

Holistic integration. Soulful spirituality seeks to integrate all aspects of our being:

  • Honoring our bodies and physical experiences
  • Engaging our minds and intellectual capacities
  • Nurturing our emotions and intuitive wisdom
  • Connecting with transcendent or divine reality

Embodied practices. Integrating body, mind, and spirit involves:

  • Engaging in contemplative movement (e.g., yoga, tai chi)
  • Practicing embodied forms of prayer or meditation
  • Cultivating awareness of our bodily sensations and emotions
  • Expressing our spirituality through art, music, or dance

By integrating all dimensions of our being, soulful spirituality supports our journey of becoming fully human and deeply alive.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What is Soulful Spirituality: Becoming Fully Alive and Deeply Human by David G. Benner about?

  • Core integration theme: The book explores how authentic spirituality is inseparable from becoming fully human, emphasizing the integration of spirit, soul, and body in everyday life.
  • Grounded spirituality: Benner argues that true spirituality is deeply embodied, rooted in reality, and not an escape from human experience.
  • Developmental journey: The narrative guides readers from egocentricity toward a broader identification with life, others, and the divine.
  • Practical and psychological: It combines spiritual wisdom with psychological insights, offering both conceptual frameworks and actionable practices.

2. Why should I read Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner?

  • Addresses spiritual dissatisfaction: The book is ideal for those frustrated by traditional religion or unfulfilled by their current spiritual practices, offering a fresh, integrative perspective.
  • Bridges psychology and spirituality: Benner provides a psychologically grounded approach, making it valuable for personal growth, counseling, or ministry.
  • Practical spiritual guidance: Readers receive accessible practices for awareness, presence, and surrender, applicable to daily life.
  • Challenges toxic spirituality: The book helps readers avoid harmful spiritual patterns that alienate them from their bodies, emotions, or reality.

3. What are the key takeaways from Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner?

  • Integration is essential: Authentic spirituality must be embodied and connected to human experience, not abstract or escapist.
  • Spiritual practices matter: Foundational practices like awareness, wonder, honoring otherness, embracing reality, presence, and surrender are central to soulful living.
  • Transformation over conformity: The goal is not religious conformity but personal transformation and wholeness.
  • Healthy spirituality is loving: Markers of healthy spirituality include loving relationships, belonging, and transcendent meaning.

4. How does David G. Benner define "soulful spirituality" in Soulful Spirituality?

  • Integration of spirit and soul: Soulful spirituality is a way of walking the human path that unites spiritual vitality with grounded human experience.
  • Beyond beliefs and rituals: It is not about correct theology or ritual, but about how we live and respond to life’s energies and desires.
  • Rooted in reality: Practices are grounded in the present moment, bodily awareness, and authentic engagement with self and others.
  • Fosters wholeness: The approach aims to help individuals become fully alive and deeply human, rather than less human.

5. What is the relationship between body, spirit, and soul in Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner?

  • Body as foundation: The body is the primary home of the self; authentic spirituality must be embodied and not escapist.
  • Spirit as vital energy: Spirit is described as the dynamic, passionate force that drives us toward transcendence and meaning.
  • Soul as container: The soul holds our experiences, tensions, and meaning, grounding us in reality and allowing integration.
  • Breath as intersection: Breath symbolizes the meeting point of body, spirit, and soul, anchoring spirituality in the present.

6. How does Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner distinguish between religion and spirituality?

  • Religion as container: Religion provides communal structure, creeds, and rituals for engaging the sacred.
  • Spirituality as broader: Spirituality encompasses all ways of relating to the transcendent, inside or outside religious contexts.
  • Deep vs. shallow religion: Deep religion integrates body, spirit, and soul, while shallow religion is rigid and disconnected from authentic experience.
  • Healthy spirituality markers: Loving relationships, belonging, and transcendent meaning are key, whether religious or not.

7. What does David G. Benner mean by "toxic spirituality" in Soulful Spirituality?

  • Alienation from the body: Toxic spirituality distances us from our embodied selves, repressing emotions and physical reality.
  • Overemphasis on beliefs: It reduces spirituality to intellectual assent or mechanical rituals, losing relational depth.
  • Narcissistic and escapist: Such spirituality isolates individuals from others and real-life challenges, fostering self-centeredness.
  • Lack of transformation: Instead of fostering wholeness, toxic spirituality leaves people fragmented and disconnected.

8. What are the six key spiritual practices in Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner?

  • Awareness: Cultivating present-moment attention to body, emotions, and surroundings as the foundation for spiritual growth.
  • Wonder: Nurturing awe and reverence for life’s ordinary and extraordinary aspects, opening to mystery.
  • Honoring Otherness: Engaging with the uniqueness of others, nature, and the transcendent through hospitality and dialogue.
  • Embracing Reality: Accepting life as it is, including suffering and limitations, rather than escaping into illusion.
  • Presence: Developing stillness, silence, and solitude to be fully present to self, others, and the divine.
  • Surrender: Letting go of control and resistance, welcoming life’s flow with trust and openness.

9. How does Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner describe the role of awareness in spiritual growth?

  • Foundation of spirituality: Awareness is the starting point for awakening from unconscious living and deepening spiritual life.
  • Cultivated through practice: Mindfulness, contemplative attention, and breath awareness are key methods for expanding awareness.
  • Opens to the transcendent: Increased awareness allows recognition of the sacred in everyday life and enhances empathy.
  • Counters distraction: Awareness helps move beyond habitual thought patterns and fosters receptivity to deeper realities.

10. What is the significance of wonder in Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner?

  • Natural companion to awareness: Wonder arises when awareness is welcomed into the soul, transforming attention into joy and enchantment.
  • Openness to mystery: Wonder invites reverence for the ineffable and fosters a deep connection to life and the divine.
  • Practical cultivation: Practices like contemplative walking and gazing at the sky nurture wonder and enlarge the soul.
  • Prevents cynicism: Without wonder, spirituality becomes dry and disconnected from the heart.

11. How does David G. Benner explain "honoring otherness" in Soulful Spirituality?

  • Recognizing uniqueness: Honoring otherness means respecting the unique identity and sacredness of every person.
  • Hospitality and dialogue: Creating space for authentic encounter and mutual transformation through genuine dialogue.
  • Spiritual significance: Otherness reflects the image of God; honoring it is essential for deep spirituality.
  • Challenges egocentricity: This practice opens us to deeper communion and integration with others and the divine.

12. What does Soulful Spirituality by David G. Benner teach about surrender and its role in spiritual transformation?

  • True meaning of surrender: Surrender is inner acceptance and letting go, not defeat or resignation.
  • Ego and control: The ego resists surrender, but letting go is necessary for aligning with forces beyond the self.
  • Spiritual practice: Practices like Welcoming Prayer help focus on, welcome, and release emotional responses.
  • Gateway to freedom: Surrender is essential for becoming fully alive, enabling transformation and deep humanity.

Review Summary

4.17 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Soulful Spirituality receives mixed reviews, with many praising its depth and insights on integrating spirituality with human experience. Readers appreciate Benner's blend of psychology and theology, finding it helpful for personal growth. Some critics feel the book leans too heavily on Eastern philosophies and lacks a strong Christian focus. The practical spiritual exercises in the latter half are widely praised. Overall, readers find the book thought-provoking, though some struggle with its complexity and perceived departure from traditional Christian theology.

Your rating:
4.54
28 ratings

About the Author

David G. Benner is a renowned depth psychologist, author, spiritual guide, and personal transformation coach. He holds a PhD from York University and completed postdoctoral studies at the Chicago Institute of Psychoanalysis. Benner serves as Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Spirituality at Richmont Graduate University's Psychological Studies Institute. His extensive writing career includes authoring or editing over twenty books on psychology, spirituality, and personal growth. Benner's work is known for integrating psychological insights with spiritual wisdom, focusing on topics such as human development, contemplative practices, and the intersection of faith and mental health.

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