The Gift of Being Yourself

1. Willfulness vs. Willingness: The Path to Surrender

"Willfulness is living a stubborn no. Willingness is living a loving yes."

Willfulness leads to death. It is a self-originating, autonomous will unchecked by love, resulting in rigidity, pride, and spiritual destruction. This stubborn resistance to God's will often manifests as:

• Teeth-gritting determination
• Grim-faced discipline
• Obsessive self-control

Willingness leads to life. It is the fruit of surrender to God's loving will, characterized by:

• Openness to divine guidance
• Flexibility and spontaneity
• Love-motivated actions

The transformation from willfulness to willingness is the core of Christian spirituality, moving from self-determination to joyful surrender to God's perfect love.

2. The Kingdom of Self vs. The Kingdom of God

"God does not ask for resignation based on acquiescence in the absence of a better option. Nor does God ask for reluctant, grudging submission. What God wants is surrender based on love and trust."

The Kingdom of Self is characterized by:

• Self-interest and independence
• Grasping and achievement
• Clenched fists and closed heart

The Kingdom of God is marked by:

• Love and interdependence
• Releasing and receiving gifts
• Open hands and heart

The journey from the kingdom of self to the kingdom of God involves a radical reorientation of one's life. It's not about mere behavioral compliance, but a transformation of the heart that leads to a willing embrace of God's reign of love.

3. Love-Shaped Willing: Transforming Discipline into Desire

"Only love was capable of empowering Jesus to choose God's will over his own when faced with the agony of death."

Love transforms willpower. Without love, spiritual disciplines can become mechanical, rationalistic, and moralistic. Love-shaped willing:

• Springs from a desire for intimacy with God
• Emerges as a response to Perfect Love
• Aligns our heart with God's heart

Jesus exemplified this love-shaped willing in his life and ministry. His spiritual disciplines were not acts of grim determination, but vehicles of communion and intimacy with the Father. This transformation of will by love is the key to genuine surrender to God's will.

4. Choosing God: Attentiveness to Divine Presence

"God is not properly pursued as an object of curiosity. Openness to God must be an openness not simply to ideas or information but to personal encounter."

Attentiveness is key. Choosing God begins with:

• Receptive openness to divine presence
• Cultivating awareness of God in everyday life
• Encountering God in Scripture through lectio divina

Practices for cultivating attentiveness:

• Daily examen (prayerful review of the day)
• Contemplative prayer and silence
• Seeking God's presence in nature and relationships

The goal is not to achieve God's presence, but to become aware of the ever-present divine reality, allowing this awareness to shape our choices and actions.

5. Aligning Heart and Will: The Power of Desire

"Our deepest desires contain residual traces of God's desires for us and always therefore point toward God."

Desires shape our journey. The spiritual life is not about crucifying desire, but about:

• Distilling and focusing desire on God
• Purifying disordered desires through prayer
• Aligning our deepest longings with God's will

The process of aligning heart and will involves:

1. Identifying surface desires
2. Exploring underlying longings
3. Recognizing how these point to God
4. Allowing God to purify and reorder our desires

As our desires align with God's, choosing His will becomes a joyful response of love rather than a dutiful obligation.

6. Taking Up Your Cross: Embracing Suffering as Transformation

"Taking up my cross is accepting whatever affliction I experience—no matter how great or small—and inviting Christ to walk alongside me as I carry it."

The Way of the Cross is not about seeking suffering, but about:

• Accepting the realities of life we cannot change
• Embracing self-denial as part of following Christ
• Finding meaning and transformation in our struggles

Taking up our cross involves:

1. Recognizing our daily "crosses"
2. Choosing to embrace rather than avoid them
3. Inviting Christ into our suffering
4. Experiencing transformation through these encounters

This willingness to embrace our crosses leads to resurrection life – the paschal mystery at the heart of Christian spirituality.

7. Developing a Discerning Heart: Consolation and Desolation

"Discernment is learning to be attentive to these subtle movements and countermovements toward and away from God."

Spiritual discernment involves recognizing:

• Consolation: feelings of peace, vitality, and connection when aligned with God
• Desolation: feelings of anxiety, self-preoccupation, or disconnection when turning from God

Practices for developing discernment:

• Daily examen (reviewing consolation and desolation)
• Attentiveness to emotional responses in decision-making
• Prayerful reflection on the source of our desires

Discernment helps us align our choices with God's will by attuning us to the movements of our own spirit in relation to God's Spirit.

8. The Heart of Christian Spirituality: Unifying Mind and Heart in Christ

"The core of the transformational journey is aligning our heart and mind."

The heart in Christian spirituality is:

• The seat of wisdom, imagination, and intuition
• The spiritual center that integrates all faculties
• The place where we encounter and know God

The journey involves:

1. Bringing the mind down into the heart
2. Cultivating heartfulness (attentiveness to God's presence)
3. Allowing the heart to guide our choices and actions

As our heart aligns with God's heart, our will naturally follows. This unity of heart and mind in Christ is the essence of Christian transformation, leading to a life characterized by love, wisdom, and willing surrender to God's perfect will.

Last updated: October 24, 2024