Sound

1. Hearing Loss Often Creeps In Silently, Leading to Denial

It didn’t happen suddenly – it wasn’t like one week it was 20/20 and the next week it was down to 15/20 or 10/20 – but softly, so softly I almost wasn’t aware of it happening; sound seemed to have stolen away.

A gradual fading. The author's hearing loss wasn't a sudden event but a slow, insidious decline over years. Initially, it manifested as muffled sounds, missed words, and difficulty following conversations, particularly in noisy environments. This subtle onset made it easy to ignore or attribute to other factors.

Ignoring the problem. Like many, the author initially chose to deny the issue, hoping it would resolve on its own. This period of denial led to increasing frustration and difficulty navigating everyday interactions, from work meetings to personal conversations. The subtle nature of the loss allowed for prolonged self-deception.

Seeking diagnosis. Eventually, the undeniable difficulties forced a visit to a doctor and an audiologist. Initial tests revealed significant loss, potentially linked to past head injuries, but the exact cause and prognosis remained unclear, fueling further uncertainty and a reluctant acceptance of the problem.

2. Deafness Isolates, Stripping Away Connection and Identity

Sight gives you the world, but hearing gives you other people.

Loss of connection. The author realized that losing hearing wasn't just about missing sounds; it was about losing a fundamental link to others. Conversations became challenging, requiring intense concentration and often resulting in misunderstandings or the inability to participate fully. This eroded the ease of social interaction.

Erosion of self. Deafness felt like a judgment, a physical manifestation of perceived flaws, leading to feelings of shame and inadequacy. The author internalized the stigma associated with deafness, viewing it as synonymous with being stupid or old, and felt compelled to hide the condition from others.

Withdrawal from life. The difficulty in hearing led to avoiding social situations, particularly noisy ones like pubs or parties. This self-imposed isolation further compounded feelings of loneliness and detachment, creating a vicious cycle where the fear of mishearing led to withdrawal, which in turn increased isolation.

3. The Psychological Toll of Hearing Loss is Profound and Often Hidden

Deafness acted on me like strong liquor, drawing out deeper hurts and older issues.

Internalized shame. The author felt deep shame about being deaf, believing it was somehow her fault or a punishment for not listening properly in the past. This shame became a heavy weight, blocking communication and preventing her from seeking help or confiding in friends and family.

Mental health impact. The constant effort to hear, the misunderstandings, and the social withdrawal contributed to significant mental health struggles. The incidence of depression is much higher among those with hearing loss, a reality the author experienced firsthand, leading to a period of intense sadness and thoughts of death.

Difficulty asking for help. Despite the internal turmoil, the author found it incredibly difficult to ask for help. The shame and the belief that she should be able to cope alone prevented her from opening up, even to close friends, who perceived her as hostile or closed off during this period.

4. Technology Helps, But Doesn't Fully Restore the Richness of Sound

all sound already had half its colour washed out.

Early aids limitations. The first hearing aids provided by the NHS were analogue and bulky, amplifying all sound indiscriminately, making noisy environments even more challenging. They were uncomfortable and didn't fully restore the nuances of hearing, leading to reluctance to wear them consistently.

Digital improvements. Switching to privately purchased digital aids offered significant improvement, allowing for tuning to specific frequency losses and better filtering of background noise. These aids became a constant companion, helping the author navigate daily life and making communication easier, though still requiring effort.

An imperfect imitation. Even with advanced digital technology, the author realized that amplified sound was not the same as natural hearing. Music, once a source of deep emotional connection, became flattened and less vibrant, highlighting that technology could amplify volume but not fully replicate the brain's complex processing of sound.

5. Hearing Loss is Widespread, Yet Stigma Keeps it in the Shadows

most of those 11 million are no better adjusted about losing their hearing than I had been.

A common condition. Hearing loss affects a vast number of people, estimated at over eleven million in Britain alone, yet it remains a largely invisible disability. Many people, particularly older adults, experience gradual loss but delay seeking help for years, often due to denial and stigma.

The stigma of deafness. Deafness is often associated with age, incompetence, or being slow, leading many to hide their condition. This societal stigma, internalized by individuals, prevents open discussion and makes it difficult for people to acknowledge their loss and seek appropriate support or technology.

Lack of community. Unlike those born profoundly deaf who may be part of a vibrant Deaf community with its own language and culture, those who lose hearing later in life often feel isolated. They are no longer fully part of the hearing world but lack the language (BSL) and community ties to integrate into the Deaf world, leaving them feeling stateless.

6. Our Environment Deeply Shapes How We Experience Sound (or its Absence)

Every single situation had its own particular sound, and that sound would alter depending on the number of people and the atmospheric conditions.

Acoustic awareness. Losing hearing paradoxically made the author acutely aware of acoustics. Different environments, from rooms with high ceilings to noisy restaurants, presented unique challenges and highlighted how the physical space affects sound reflection and clarity.

Navigating noisy spaces. Everyday locations like pubs, cafes, or public transport became difficult to navigate acoustically. The author had to consciously choose environments with better acoustics (e.g., carpeted rooms, quiet corners) to facilitate conversation, sometimes prioritizing sound over social preference.

Sound design. The author learned that sound is shaped by materials and space, a principle understood and manipulated in fields like architecture and engineering. Modern public spaces often prioritize aesthetics or capacity over acoustic comfort, inadvertently making them challenging for those with hearing loss.

7. Professions Like Music and Military Face Unique, Often Denied, Hearing Risks

No one, in other words, has ever invented a quiet way to blow things up.

Occupational hazard. Musicians and military personnel are at high risk of noise-induced hearing loss due to prolonged exposure to extreme volumes. This damage can manifest as hearing loss or tinnitus, impacting their ability to perform and communicate effectively.

Music industry silence. Despite the prevalence of hearing issues among musicians, particularly rock musicians, there is a culture of silence surrounding the topic. Many fear that admitting hearing loss will damage their careers or reputation, leading them to hide the problem.

Military challenges. Soldiers face a conflict between job requirements and hearing protection. In combat, communication is paramount, often leading personnel to forgo ear protection despite knowing the risk of permanent damage from weapons fire and explosions. This risk is often downplayed or accepted as part of the job.

8. Sound Can Be a Tool of Torture, Highlighting its Power and Vulnerability

The long-term use of any sound above 85–90 dBs can damage hearing, whether it's birdsong or Black Sabbath.

Weaponized sound. The military has developed techniques using sound, including loud music and white noise, as tools for psychological manipulation and interrogation. These methods aim to disorient, deprive sleep, and break down resistance, highlighting the profound impact sound has on the human psyche.

Psychological impact. Exposure to relentless or extreme sound, even if not immediately physically painful, can cause significant psychological distress and long-term trauma. This form of "white torture" demonstrates that sound's power extends far beyond simple volume or frequency.

Permanent damage. While used as a psychological tool, prolonged exposure to high decibel levels in interrogation settings can also cause permanent physical damage to hearing. This underscores the vulnerability of the ear to intense sound pressure, regardless of the source or intent.

9. The Deaf Community Offers a Different, Rich Perspective on Communication

Deaf first, nationality second.

Beyond spoken language. The author learned about the vibrant Deaf community and British Sign Language (BSL), a complex, three-dimensional language using hands, face, and body. This revealed that communication is not solely dependent on sound and can be rich and expressive through visual means.

A shared identity. For those born deaf, BSL is often their first language and a source of strong cultural identity and community belonging. This contrasts sharply with the isolation often experienced by those who lose hearing later in life and remain primarily in the hearing world.

Visual communication. Learning about BSL and interacting with Deaf individuals highlighted the power of visual communication and non-verbal cues. The author observed how Deaf individuals use heightened visual attention and body language to convey meaning and connect with others.

10. Losing One Sense Can Sharpen Others, Revealing New Ways to See

I actually think the deafness makes you see clearer.

Heightened visual attention. As hearing diminished, the author's visual attention became more acute. She learned to rely heavily on lip-reading, facial expressions, and body language to understand conversations, developing a heightened ability to "read" people and situations visually.

Seeing the world differently. The shift in sensory focus led to a new way of perceiving the world. The author became more observant of visual details in her environment, noticing interactions, emotions, and nuances in people's behavior that she might have missed when primarily relying on hearing.

A new form of understanding. This enhanced visual perception provided a different kind of understanding, allowing the author to grasp the essence of situations even without hearing the words. It demonstrated the brain's remarkable ability to adapt and compensate for sensory loss by strengthening other senses.

11. Sometimes, Physical Problems Have Operable Solutions, Even After Years

The ear had sorted itself out.

Misdiagnosis and hope. After years of believing her hearing loss was sensorineural and irreversible, a new series of tests revealed a different diagnosis: otosclerosis, a conductive loss caused by bone growth in the middle ear. This offered a glimmer of hope for a physical solution through surgery.

The stapedectomy. The author underwent a stapedectomy operation in France, a procedure to replace the affected bone with a prosthesis. The first operation had a complication, initially worsening hearing, but miraculously, the ear later healed and regained significant function, exceeding expectations.

Successful outcome. A second operation on the other ear was successful, resulting in a dramatic improvement in hearing. This journey highlighted the complexity of diagnosing hearing loss and the potential for surgical intervention to restore function in certain cases, offering a physical resolution after years of psychological struggle.

12. Reaching Out and Connecting with Others is Vital for Healing

Why didn’t you ask before? said my friends, as soon as I did.

Breaking the silence. After years of hiding her deafness and struggling alone, the author finally reached out to friends and sought professional help. This act of vulnerability was met with support and understanding, revealing that her perceived isolation was partly self-imposed.

Finding support. Connecting with others who understood, including audiologists, therapists, and individuals with hearing loss, provided crucial support and tools for coping. Sharing her experience helped dismantle the shame and allowed her to see her condition not as a flaw, but as a part of her journey.

Rebuilding connections. Overcoming the shame and isolation allowed the author to rebuild relationships and reconnect with the world. The journey demonstrated that while physical healing is important, the emotional and social aspects of dealing with hearing loss require connection, acceptance, and the courage to be vulnerable.

Last updated: May 1, 2025