Strangers Drowning

1. The Sublime and Unease of the Zealous Do-Gooder

The life of a zealous do-gooder is a kind of human sublime—by which I mean that, although there is a hard beauty in it, the word “beautiful” doesn’t capture the ambivalence it stirs up.

Awe and Dread. The do-gooder, driven by an intense moral compass, evokes a mix of awe and unease. Their commitment to ethical living, pushing beyond what seems reasonable, inspires admiration but also a sense of discomfort. This "sublime" quality highlights the tension between the beauty of their actions and the unsettling feeling that such a life is both admirable and unsustainable for most.

Rigidity and Narrowness. The do-gooder's life is characterized by a certain rigidity and focused narrowness. Their dedication to moral goodness often leads to a life that seems detached from ordinary existence, making ordinary life seem "flabby and haphazard." This focused approach, while effective in achieving their goals, can also create a sense of separation from others.

Freedom and Constraint. Paradoxically, the do-gooder is both less and more free than others. They are less free in the sense that they are bound by a strong sense of duty, but more free in their ability to control themselves and act according to their intentions, unhindered by weakness or self-doubt. This self-mastery allows them to live a life that is truly their own, shaped by their moral convictions.

2. Duty Beyond the Familiar: The Do-Gooder's Moral Compass

There is no organic, necessary connection between him and his work—it doesn’t choose him, he chooses it.

Abstract Morality. Unlike those who do good within their immediate communities, the do-gooder is driven by a more abstract sense of injustice and a longing for goodness as such. They are not bound by a sense of belonging but by a desire to do as much good as possible, often looking beyond their own people to address broader moral issues.

Chosen Path. The do-gooder's work is not something that chooses them, but something they actively choose. This lack of an organic connection can make their actions seem unnatural to others, as they are moved not by personal ties but by a commitment to a moral idea. This choice sets them apart from those who are moved by compassion for something they see, something outside themselves.

Reproach and Discomfort. The do-gooder's life serves as a constant reproach to others, reminding them of the ever-present need for help. Unlike the hero who acts spontaneously in a specific crisis, the do-gooder seeks out crises, planning their good deeds in cold blood. This makes their actions seem perverse to some, and their life a constant reminder of the world's suffering.

3. The Shifting Sands of Motivation: From Grand Causes to Personal Action

What makes me happy? What makes me happy is being a nurse. And why shouldn’t I do what makes me happy, as long as I am working for the good of the world?

From Activism to Care. Some do-gooders begin with grand, world-changing ambitions, but eventually find that personal, direct action is more fulfilling. This shift often comes from a realization that the pursuit of abstract ideals can lead to a loss of personal happiness and connection.

Happiness as a Tool. The do-gooder may come to believe that happiness is not a distraction from doing good, but a necessary component of it. By doing what makes them happy, they can do better work and have a more sustainable impact on the world. This perspective challenges the notion that self-sacrifice must always involve misery.

Rejection of Purity. The do-gooder may reject the idea of moral purity, recognizing that it can lead to rigidity and a lack of empathy. They may embrace a more pragmatic approach, focusing on relieving suffering rather than adhering to strict principles. This shift allows them to be more effective and more human.

4. The Perils of Purity: When Ideals Clash with Humanity

The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one is sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible.

The Unappealing Saint. The pursuit of moral perfection can lead to a life that is unappealing and alien, driven by duty rather than by the loves and delights of ordinary people. This raises the question of whether the moral ideal is truly a human ideal, or whether it lacks some crucial human quality.

The Conflict with Family. The do-gooder's commitment to strangers can often conflict with their obligations to family. This tension highlights the fundamental human urge to prioritize those closest to us, and the do-gooder's challenge to this deeply ingrained instinct.

The Rejection of Asceticism. The do-gooder's pursuit of extreme morality can lead to a rejection of ordinary pleasures and spontaneity. This raises the question of whether a life devoted only to duty is truly a life worth living, or whether it lacks some essential human element.

5. The Unseen Suffering: Expanding the Circle of Moral Concern

He cared about them because they were more helpless and more brutally trodden on than even the most oppressed people; their suffering was greater and their situation more unjust.

Beyond Human Suffering. Some do-gooders expand their moral concern beyond human beings to include animals, particularly those who are most vulnerable and oppressed. This expansion is often driven by a sense of injustice and a desire to alleviate suffering wherever it exists.

The Numbers Game. The do-gooder may focus on the sheer quantity of suffering, choosing to help those who are most numerous and most brutally treated. This approach is often driven by a desire to maximize their impact and alleviate the greatest amount of pain.

Dispassion and Pragmatism. The do-gooder may approach suffering with a degree of dispassion, focusing on practical solutions rather than emotional responses. This pragmatism allows them to be more effective in their work, but can also make them seem cold or detached to others.

6. The Limits of Morality: Balancing Duty and Self

Is it good to try to live as moral a life as possible? Or is there something in the drive to extraordinary goodness that distances a person too much from ordinary humanity?

The Question of Quantity. The do-gooder's life raises the question of how much morality can demand of a person. Is it possible to live a life devoted entirely to duty, or is there a point at which the demands of morality become too extreme?

The Conflict with Self. The do-gooder's commitment to others can often conflict with their own needs and desires. This tension highlights the fundamental human urge to care for oneself, and the do-gooder's challenge to this deeply ingrained instinct.

The Problem of Perfection. The do-gooder's pursuit of moral perfection can lead to a life that is rigid and unforgiving. This raises the question of whether it is possible to hold oneself to unforgiving standards without becoming unforgiving of others.

7. The Legacy of the "Drunk": Questioning the Nature of Helping

The term “do-gooder” is, of course, often demeaning. It can mean a silly or intrusive person who tries to do good but ends up only meddling.

The Suspicion of Helping. The term "do-gooder" is often used in a demeaning way, suggesting that those who try to help are often intrusive, self-righteous, or ineffective. This skepticism arises from a deep uncertainty about how a person ought to live and whether it is possible to truly help others without causing harm.

The Problem of Control. The do-gooder's desire to help can often be rooted in a need to control others, rather than a genuine desire to alleviate suffering. This raises the question of whether helping can ever be truly selfless, or whether it is always tainted by the helper's own needs and desires.

The Disease of Helping. The concept of "codependency" suggests that the desire to help others can be a form of illness, a way of avoiding one's own problems by focusing on the problems of others. This perspective challenges the notion that helping is always a virtuous act, and suggests that it can sometimes be a form of self-destruction.

8. The Unintended Consequences of Good Intentions

The usual way to do good is to help those who are near you: a person grows up in a particular place, perceives that something is wrong there, and sets out to fix it.

The Limits of Aid. The do-gooder's efforts to help others can often have unintended consequences, sometimes causing more harm than good. This raises the question of whether it is possible to truly help others without understanding the complex systems in which they live.

The Problem of Paternalism. The do-gooder's desire to help can often be rooted in a sense of superiority, a belief that they know what is best for others. This paternalistic approach can undermine the agency of those they are trying to help, and perpetuate systems of inequality.

The Importance of Local Knowledge. The do-gooder may fail to recognize the value of local knowledge and expertise, imposing solutions that are not appropriate for the specific context. This highlights the importance of listening to and learning from those who are most affected by the problems they are trying to solve.

9. The Power of the Personal: Finding Meaning in the Mundane

Only actual lives convey fully and in a visceral way the beauty and cost of a certain kind of moral existence.

The Value of Stories. The do-gooder's life is best understood not through abstract ideas, but through the stories of their actual experiences. These stories reveal the beauty and cost of a certain kind of moral existence, and the complex choices that do-gooders must face.

The Importance of the Everyday. The do-gooder's life is not always filled with grand gestures and heroic acts, but also with small, everyday choices that reveal their moral character. These choices, often overlooked by others, are a crucial part of their moral journey.

The Limits of Abstraction. The do-gooder's life highlights the limits of abstract moral principles, and the importance of grounding morality in the concrete realities of human experience. This perspective suggests that morality is not just a matter of following rules, but of living a life that is both meaningful and compassionate.

10. The Unfolding Story: Embracing Uncertainty and Imperfection

It’s a measure of their seriousness that they doubt and question themselves.

The Acceptance of Doubt. The do-gooder's life is not characterized by certainty, but by a willingness to doubt and question their own motives and actions. This self-reflection is a sign of their seriousness and their commitment to living a truly ethical life.

The Embrace of Imperfection. The do-gooder may come to accept that perfection is impossible, and that the pursuit of moral goodness is a lifelong journey, not a destination. This acceptance allows them to be more forgiving of themselves and others, and to find joy in the process of striving for a better world.

The Ongoing Quest. The do-gooder's life is not a static achievement, but an ongoing quest for meaning and purpose. This quest is characterized by a willingness to learn, to grow, and to adapt to the ever-changing realities of the world.

Last updated: February 1, 2025