Taking Flight!

1. Discover the Four Behavioral Styles: Eagle (D), Parrot (I), Dove (S), Owl (C)

Long ago, my chameleon ancestors learned that animals have four distinct styles of behavior.

Ancient wisdom. The concept of four distinct behavioral styles has been recognized for millennia, appearing in various forms throughout history, from Hippocrates' humours to modern psychological models like DISC, named after Dominance, Influence (Interactive), Steadiness (Supportive), and Conscientiousness. The book uses the analogy of birds in a forest: Eagles (D) are decisive and results-oriented, Parrots (I) are enthusiastic and interactive, Doves (S) are supportive and harmony-seeking, and Owls (C) are conscientious and detail-focused.

Wired differently. These styles are linked to the brain's hardwiring, influencing how individuals think, feel, and act. The fable illustrates how these inherent styles manifest in behavior, such as Dorian the Eagle's immediate call to action or Clark the Owl's need for meticulous planning. Understanding these fundamental differences is the first step to better interpersonal dynamics.

A simple framework. The DISC model provides a simple yet powerful framework for categorizing these observable behavioral patterns. By associating each style with a distinct bird, the book makes the concepts relatable and easy to remember, setting the stage for deeper exploration of how these styles interact and influence outcomes in various situations.

2. Every Style is Positive and Contributes Uniquely

Each style possesses unique strengths and capabilities that should be celebrated.

No best style. The book emphasizes that there is no inherent hierarchy or "best" style among the four DISC types. Each style brings valuable strengths to the table, essential for collective success and harmony, just as the different birds in the fable each played a crucial role in the forest community. For example, the Eagle's decisiveness is vital for leadership, while the Dove's compassion fosters connection.

Essential contributions. The Parrot's optimism and creativity inject energy and new ideas, while the Owl's accuracy and structure ensure quality and planning. The crisis in the fable highlights how the absence or underutilization of any style's strengths hinders problem-solving. True effectiveness comes from recognizing and valuing the distinct contributions of each style.

Celebrate diversity. Embracing the idea that all styles are positive means moving away from judgment and towards acceptance. Instead of wishing others were more like us, the goal is to appreciate the unique gifts they possess. This perspective shift is fundamental to building stronger relationships and more effective teams.

3. Understanding Your Own Style is the Foundation for Growth

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

Self-awareness matters. The journey to leveraging DISC begins with understanding your own primary style and how it influences your behavior, motivations, and reactions. The book suggests taking a DISC assessment to gain insight into your natural strengths and potential challenges. This self-knowledge is crucial for personal and professional development.

Aligning with strengths. When individuals understand their style, they can make choices that align with their natural inclinations, leading to greater energy and job satisfaction. Conversely, working consistently in roles or environments that conflict with one's style can lead to exhaustion and stress, as seen in the example of Jennifer, a D, struggling in an S-style customer service job.

Managing challenges. Self-awareness also helps in recognizing potential blind spots or areas where one's style might be overused. By understanding why certain situations are challenging, individuals can develop strategies to navigate them more effectively. This isn't about changing who you are, but about maximizing your potential by playing to your strengths and managing your weaknesses.

4. Learn to "People Read" by Recognizing Others' Styles

When observing others from a DISC perspective, each piece of the puzzle spontaneously assembles into an easily definable picture—a quick roadmap of how you should interact with them.

Observable cues. Identifying the DISC styles of others is a skill that can be developed by paying attention to observable behaviors. Look for patterns in how people communicate, their pace, body language, tone of voice, and how they interact in groups. Are they fast-paced and direct (D), outgoing and expressive (I), calm and soft-spoken (S), or measured and detail-oriented (C)?

Building rapport. Recognizing someone's style provides a roadmap for effective interaction. Knowing that a D prefers directness, an I enjoys enthusiasm, an S values personal connection, and a C needs details allows you to tailor your communication approach. This "people-reading" skill enhances rapport and minimizes misunderstandings.

Practical application. The book provides specific examples of observable traits for each style, from a D's firm handshake to an I's hearty laugh, an S's gentle demeanor, and a C's restrained movements. Practicing these observations in daily life, even by watching characters on TV, helps hone this valuable skill, making interactions smoother and more productive.

5. Focus on Understanding Intentions, Not Just Actions

We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.

Bridging the gap. A common source of conflict arises from misinterpreting others' actions without understanding their underlying intentions. The DISC model helps bridge this gap by providing insight into the typical motivations and perspectives of each style. For example, a C's detailed questions might seem like mistrust to an I, but the C's intention is simply to ensure accuracy and thoroughness.

Preventing misinterpretation. By considering the likely intentions behind a behavior based on someone's style, you can avoid taking actions personally or assuming negative motives. Jake, the C executive, wasn't micromanaging George, the I; he was trying to be helpful by providing structure, which is natural for a C. George misinterpreted this through his I lens, which values freedom and big-picture thinking.

Shifting perspective. Understanding intentions fosters empathy and reduces conflict. It encourages a shift from a reactive, judgmental stance ("Why are they doing this to me?") to a more understanding one ("Why might they be doing this, given their style?"). This doesn't excuse genuinely harmful behavior, but it helps navigate typical style differences more constructively.

6. Beware: Overused Strengths Become Weaknesses

You sometimes overuse your strengths. And when you do, those strengths become weaknesses.

Too much of a good thing. While each style has inherent strengths, relying too heavily on one's dominant style, especially under stress, can turn those strengths into liabilities. The book provides detailed examples of how each style's strengths can manifest negatively when overused.

Examples of overuse:

• D's directness becomes blunt or aggressive.
• I's optimism becomes unrealistic or superficial.
• S's need for harmony becomes avoidance of necessary conflict.
• C's drive for accuracy becomes paralyzing perfectionism.

Impact on others. Overusing one's style not only creates internal stress but also negatively impacts interactions with others. Kate, the C, turned her strength for planning into paralyzing perfectionism, stressing herself and alienating her I husband, Mark, who just wanted to help. Recognizing these overuse patterns is crucial for personal growth and healthier relationships.

7. Master the "Home Rule": Treat Others How They Need to Be Treated

Treat others how they need to be treated, not how I need to be treated.

Beyond the Golden Rule. While the Golden Rule (treat others as you want to be treated) is fundamental for values like respect and honesty, the "Home Rule" is more effective for communication and collaboration. It requires understanding the other person's style and adapting your approach to meet their needs and preferences, not your own.

Tailoring communication. This means communicating directly with a D, enthusiastically with an I, patiently and supportively with an S, and with detail and logic for a C. Bashir, the VP, successfully rolled out a software upgrade by adapting his communication style to each department's predominant style, ensuring buy-in and minimizing resistance.

Making others comfortable. Applying the Home Rule makes others feel "right at home" by interacting with them in a way that resonates with their natural style. This builds trust, improves understanding, and facilitates cooperation, as demonstrated by the birds in the fable learning to work together effectively once they adopted this principle.

8. Adaptability is the Key to Navigating Different Styles

The secret, my friends, is adaptability.

Chameleon power. Just as Xavier the Chameleon can change color to blend with his surroundings, individuals can learn to adapt their behavioral style to suit different people and situations. This doesn't mean changing your core personality, but rather tapping into the strengths of other styles when needed.

Flexibility in action. The fable shows the birds learning to access aspects of other styles: Sarah the Dove taps into D-like decisiveness during the tree collapse, Dorian the Eagle learns to appreciate the C's need for process and the I's enthusiasm, and the Parrots learn to communicate with C-like facts when necessary. This flexibility allows for more effective responses to diverse challenges.

Situational awareness. Applying the right style at the right time is crucial for achieving desired outcomes. Spencer, the I salesperson, lost a deal because he failed to recognize the D-style president's need for bottom-line results, instead focusing on building rapport like he would with another I. Adaptability requires accurately reading the situation and consciously choosing the most effective approach.

9. Leverage Style Diversity for High-Performing Teams

No matter what the composition of your team, style can be its greatest asset or a hidden and devastating liability.

Beyond skills. Building effective teams requires considering not just technical skills and experience, but also the behavioral styles of team members. A team composed solely of one style, or missing a key style, can face significant blind spots and challenges, even if individually talented.

Balancing styles. A team with a mix of D, I, S, and C styles brings a wider range of perspectives and strengths to problem-solving. D's drive for results, I's creativity, S's focus on harmony and support, and C's attention to detail are all necessary for comprehensive success. The fable's Council only became effective when they learned to value and utilize each other's distinct styles.

Addressing imbalances. Teams should identify their style composition to understand potential group strengths and blind spots. If a style is underrepresented, team members can consciously work to incorporate those perspectives or behaviors. Educating the team about DISC and making styles visible helps foster understanding, reduce conflict, and leverage diversity for better performance.

10. Apply DISC to Transform Your Relationships and Parenting

Better Parenting with DISC

Understanding family dynamics. DISC principles are highly applicable to personal relationships, particularly within families. Parents can use DISC to understand their children's innate styles and adapt their parenting approach accordingly, rather than imposing their own style or expectations. Recognizing a child's style helps parents appreciate their unique needs and behaviors.

Tailoring interaction. Treating each child (or partner) how they need to be treated, based on their style, fosters acceptance and reduces conflict. For example, a D child might need clear boundaries and challenges, an I child might need stimulation and positive reinforcement, an S child might need patience and emotional support, and a C child might need logic and structure.

Cultivating natural gifts. By accepting children for who they are, parents create an environment where their natural gifts can flourish. Trying to force a child into a mold that doesn't fit their style, like Brandon's D and I parents pushing their C son into team sports, can lead to frustration and resentment. DISC helps parents celebrate individuality and build stronger connections.

11. DISC Provides a Powerful Blueprint for Life

This knowledge will change your life!

A universal pattern. The DISC model, represented by the D, I, S, and C birds, offers a simple yet profound pattern for understanding human behavior that is applicable across all areas of life. From career choices and workplace interactions to personal relationships and team dynamics, recognizing and adapting to different styles unlocks potential and improves outcomes.

Continuous growth. The journey with DISC is one of continuous learning and application. It encourages self-reflection, empathy, and flexibility. By consciously applying the principles—understanding yourself, recognizing others, considering intentions, managing overuse, and adapting your style—you can navigate challenges more effectively and build deeper connections.

Empowerment. Ultimately, DISC empowers individuals to maximize their strengths, minimize conflict, and build more fulfilling lives. Like the birds in the fable who learned to work together and thrive, understanding and embracing the power of DISC allows you to "take flight" and reach new heights in your interactions and achievements.

Last updated: May 20, 2025