Taming Your Gremlin

1. Recognize and Tame Your Inner Gremlin

Your gremlin is the narrator in your head. He has influenced you since you came into this world, and he accompanies you throughout your entire existence.

The Gremlin's Nature: Your gremlin is not just negative thoughts or past experiences, but the source of them. It uses your fears, memories, and insecurities to create a narrative that limits your potential and enjoyment of life.

Taming Process: The Gremlin-Taming Method consists of three essential processes:

• Simply Noticing
• Choosing and Playing with Options
• Being in Process

This method doesn't aim to eliminate the gremlin, but to recognize its presence and reduce its influence on your thoughts and actions. By becoming aware of your gremlin's tactics, you can begin to separate yourself from its narrative and make conscious choices about how to respond to life's challenges.

2. Simply Notice: The Power of Awareness

Simply noticing involves only simply noticing. That is, paying attention—the same sort of attention you would pay to a good movie.

Mindful Observation: Simply noticing is the cornerstone of the Gremlin-Taming Method. It involves observing your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without judgment or attempt to change them.

Three Realms of Awareness:

• Your Body
• The World Around You
• The World of Mind

By practicing simply noticing, you create a space between yourself and your experiences, allowing for more conscious responses rather than automatic reactions. This awareness helps you recognize when your gremlin is at work, enabling you to choose how to respond rather than being controlled by habitual patterns or fears.

3. Choose and Play with Options

Enjoying the process is an integral part of taming your gremlin.

Playful Experimentation: Instead of forcing change, the method encourages playful experimentation with different options. This approach reduces resistance and makes the process of personal growth more enjoyable.

Options to Play With:

• Breathe and fully experience
• Change for a change
• Accent the obvious
• Just imagine it
• Revisit and re-decide

By treating personal growth as an adventure rather than a chore, you're more likely to sustain your efforts and discover new aspects of yourself. Remember, the goal is not perfection, but increased awareness and the ability to make conscious choices.

4. Break Free from Self-Limiting Concepts

Concepts can become hypnotic convictions that serve as a veil between your essence and the world as it actually exists.

Identifying Limiting Beliefs: Our self-concepts, often formed in childhood or through past experiences, can limit our potential and enjoyment of life. These concepts act as a filter through which we interpret the world and ourselves.

Challenging and Updating Beliefs:

• Recognize outdated or limiting beliefs
• Question their validity in your current life
• Experiment with alternative perspectives
• Update your self-concept based on present experiences and desires

By bringing these concepts into awareness and challenging them, you can begin to see yourself and the world more clearly, opening up new possibilities for growth and fulfillment.

5. Embrace the Natural You

True satisfaction and contentment have more to do with actualizing yourself than with actualizing your concept of who you imagine you are supposed to be.

Authenticity vs. Acts: Many people create "acts" or personas to navigate social situations or meet perceived expectations. While these can be useful, overreliance on them can lead to feelings of emptiness and disconnection from your true self.

Connecting with Your Essence:

• Recognize the difference between your authentic self and your "acts"
• Allow yourself to experience and express genuine emotions
• Practice being present in the moment without judgment
• Cultivate self-acceptance and self-compassion

By embracing your natural self, you can experience deeper satisfaction, more authentic relationships, and a greater sense of purpose and meaning in life.

6. Foil Common Gremlin Strategies

Detecting and foiling your gremlin on the spot is always possible but often very challenging.

Recognizing Gremlin Tactics: Gremlins employ various strategies to maintain their influence. By understanding these tactics, you can more easily recognize and counteract them.

Common Gremlin Strategies:

1. The "You Can't" Strategy
2. The "You Should," "You Ought to," and "You Must" Strategy
3. The "You Need" Strategy
4. The "You Don't Deserve" Strategy
5. The "Fantasy is Reality" Strategy
6. The "Tensing in Anticipation of Pain Helps" Strategy
7. The "Hem and Haw" Strategy
8. The "My Fear is Scaring Me to Death" Strategy

By familiarizing yourself with these strategies, you can more quickly identify when your gremlin is at work and choose to respond differently, maintaining your power and freedom of choice.

7. Live in the Present, Not in Duality

When you are in reality, your energy flows freely within you and is available to you for your use in relating to the world.

Understanding Duality: Duality occurs when you're caught in an internal conflict, often between your natural self and your gremlin's demands. This state drains your energy and limits your ability to fully experience and enjoy life.

Embracing Reality:

• Practice being present in the moment
• Observe your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them
• Make choices based on current circumstances rather than past fears or future worries
• Allow yourself to experience life directly, rather than through the filter of concepts or expectations

By living in reality rather than duality, you free up energy to engage more fully with life, leading to greater satisfaction and effectiveness in your interactions and experiences.

8. Transform Fear into Excitement

Anxiety is the gap between now and then.

Fear as Energy: Fear and excitement are closely related physiological states. By reframing fear as excitement, you can transform a potentially paralyzing emotion into a motivating force.

Strategies for Transformation:

• Recognize fear as a signal, not a command
• Question the validity of your fears in the present moment
• Use the "until now" technique to open up possibilities
• Practice relaxation and centering techniques to manage physical symptoms of fear
• Embrace the unpredictability and potential for growth in challenging situations

By learning to work with fear rather than against it, you can access more of your potential and enjoy a fuller, more adventurous life.

9. Practice Clear Communication

Knowing what it is you want to say and saying it clearly and concisely is usually a good idea. Hemming and hawing is good for no one and will seldom get you what you want.

Authentic Expression: Clear communication involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs directly and honestly. This practice can lead to more satisfying relationships and a stronger sense of self.

Tips for Clear Communication:

• Use "I" statements to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings
• Express wants and needs directly, without manipulation or expectation
• Listen actively and seek to understand others' perspectives
• Be willing to be vulnerable and express authentic emotions
• Avoid generalizations, assumptions, and indirect communication

By communicating clearly and authentically, you create opportunities for deeper connections and more effective problem-solving in your relationships and daily life.

10. Take Responsibility for Your Life

What you do with your life is up to you. It's not up to your mom, your dad, your spouse, your pals, your coach, or your therapist. It's all up to you.

Embracing Personal Power: Taking responsibility for your life means recognizing that you have the power to make choices and create change, regardless of your circumstances.

Practices for Taking Responsibility:

• Recognize and challenge victim mentality
• Make conscious choices rather than defaulting to habits or expectations
• Set personal goals based on your authentic desires and values
• Learn from mistakes without dwelling on blame or regret
• Cultivate a growth mindset, seeing challenges as opportunities for learning and development

By taking responsibility for your life, you reclaim your power to shape your experiences and outcomes. This mindset leads to greater resilience, satisfaction, and a sense of purpose in life.

Last updated: January 25, 2025