Key Takeaways
1. Responsibility is a Cornerstone of Childhood Development
Mortality is a test of our willingness and ability to work out our own salvation, to become responsible agents unto ourselves and to God, thus to be more like him when we return to him.
The essence of parenting is to teach children responsibility. This encompasses three main objectives: teaching children joy (ages 0-6), responsibility (ages 4-12), and charity (ages 10-16). These objectives provide a framework for all principles children should learn.
Responsibility has many facets:
- Obedience to parents and authority
- Stewardship over possessions and gifts
- Self-discipline and personal accountability
- Service and care for others
Parents should focus on age-appropriate responsibilities, building upon each level as the child grows. This sequential approach ensures a solid foundation for lifelong responsibility and character development.
2. Teaching Obedience Lays the Foundation for Responsibility
Family laws, properly used and enforced, can be a prototype or training ground for children's abilities to keep God's laws.
Establish clear family laws to teach obedience and responsibility. These laws should be simple, direct, and created with the children's input. Consistent enforcement is crucial for effectiveness.
Key elements of teaching obedience:
- Use positive reinforcement and praise for good behavior
- Implement natural consequences for disobedience
- Model obedience and respect in your own actions
- Use "trigger words" as gentle reminders for expected behavior
Regular family councils and discussions about the importance of obedience help children understand the reasons behind rules and increase their willingness to comply. This foundation of obedience prepares children for greater responsibilities as they mature.
3. Children Must Learn Responsibility for Their Possessions
Responsibility is not the result of maturity, but the cause of it.
Teach ownership and care for personal belongings. This helps children develop a sense of pride and responsibility for their possessions, which extends to other areas of their lives.
Methods to encourage responsibility for possessions:
- Implement a "things-on-the-bed" system for misplaced items
- Create ownership tags or "in-place" tags for belongings
- Simplify and reduce the number of possessions
- Allow children to earn and manage their own money
By learning to care for their things, children develop organizational skills, respect for property, and an understanding of the value of material goods. This responsibility often translates into better care for shared spaces and others' belongings as well.
4. Work Instills a Sense of Responsibility and Self-Worth
Children who never learn to work not only fail to accomplish worthwhile things as adults, but they also forfeit one of the basic joys and fulfillments of life.
Introduce age-appropriate work to children early on. This helps them develop a strong work ethic, understand the value of effort, and gain a sense of accomplishment.
Ways to teach responsibility through work:
- Assign regular household chores
- Implement a family job chart or pegboard system
- Encourage participation in family projects (e.g., gardening)
- Share stories of hard work from family history
Work teaches children important life skills, time management, and the satisfaction of contributing to the family. It also prepares them for future academic and professional responsibilities.
5. Cultivating Responsibility to God Enhances Moral Development
The Holy Ghost can do so much for those who accept the responsibility of receiving and retaining His presence.
Help children understand their relationship with God and the responsibility that comes with it. This spiritual dimension adds depth to their moral development and decision-making process.
Methods to foster responsibility to God:
- Teach children about prayer and its power
- Explain the concept of stewardship over God's gifts
- Discuss the role of the Holy Ghost in guiding choices
- Encourage regular scripture study and reflection
By developing a sense of accountability to a higher power, children gain a stronger moral compass and a deeper understanding of the consequences of their actions. This responsibility to God can serve as a powerful motivator for righteous living.
6. Self-Discipline is Key to Personal Responsibility
To be obedient requires one level of maturity. To accept stewardship requires a higher level of maturity. And to be self-disciplined requires a still higher level of maturity.
Teach children self-control and the ability to motivate themselves. This internal discipline is crucial for long-term success and responsibility.
Strategies to develop self-discipline:
- Set clear expectations and goals
- Teach time management skills
- Encourage delayed gratification
- Praise effort and perseverance, not just results
Self-discipline allows children to take ownership of their actions and choices. It empowers them to set and achieve personal goals, resist temptations, and develop a strong sense of personal responsibility.
7. Children Should Learn to Make Responsible Choices
If we could only make decisions for them!" we say. But we can't. In the long perspective all we can do—and it is a great deal—is to teach them how to decide for themselves.
Guide children in decision-making processes. Help them understand the consequences of their choices and the importance of making responsible decisions.
Techniques for teaching responsible decision-making:
- Use role-playing to explore different scenarios
- Discuss the potential outcomes of various choices
- Teach the difference between short-term and long-term consequences
- Encourage children to seek guidance through prayer and reflection
By learning to make responsible choices early on, children develop critical thinking skills and the confidence to navigate complex situations as they grow older. This ability to choose wisely is a fundamental aspect of personal responsibility.
8. Building Character is Essential for Lifelong Responsibility
It has been said that, by the time he is fifty, every person has the face he deserves. The same thing could be said of character, only at a much earlier age.
Focus on character development as a foundation for responsibility. Strong character traits like honesty, integrity, and perseverance are crucial for maintaining responsibility throughout life.
Methods to build character:
- Share stories of admirable characters from history or literature
- Discuss and practice virtues regularly
- Create opportunities for children to demonstrate good character
- Recognize and praise instances of strong character
Character development goes hand-in-hand with teaching responsibility. A child with strong character is more likely to make responsible choices and fulfill their obligations, even when faced with challenges or temptations.
9. Children Must Realize Their Potential and Be Responsible for It
Every person comes into mortality with specific foreordinations. To those who find and fill theirs, there will be great rewards hereafter.
Help children discover and develop their unique talents and potential. Teach them that they are responsible for making the most of their God-given gifts.
Strategies to foster responsibility for potential:
- Encourage goal-setting and achievement
- Expose children to a variety of experiences and opportunities
- Teach the concept of stewardship over talents
- Discuss the idea of foreordination and divine purpose
By understanding their potential and feeling responsible for developing it, children are more likely to strive for excellence and make meaningful contributions to society. This sense of purpose can be a powerful motivator for personal growth and responsibility.
10. Fostering Responsibility Towards Others Builds Empathy and Service
When responsibility becomes associated with service, it takes on Christlike qualities.
Teach children to be responsible for others, not just themselves. This develops empathy, compassion, and a sense of community responsibility.
Ways to encourage responsibility towards others:
- Assign older children to help younger siblings
- Involve children in family service projects
- Teach the concept of stewardship over the earth and its resources
- Encourage volunteering and community involvement
By learning to be responsible for others, children develop a broader perspective on their role in society. This sense of social responsibility helps create well-rounded, caring individuals who are more likely to contribute positively to their communities and the world at large.
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FAQ
1. What is "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre about?
- Comprehensive parenting guide: The book provides a structured approach to teaching children responsibility, focusing on practical methods and family traditions.
- Four dimensions of responsibility: It organizes responsibility into four main areas: to parents (obedience), to God (stewardship), to self (discipline), and to others (service).
- Sequential learning: The Eyres advocate teaching joy (ages 0-6), responsibility (ages 4-12), and charity (ages 10-16) in overlapping, age-appropriate phases.
- Action-oriented program: Rather than just theory, the book offers actionable strategies, games, stories, and family focal points to help parents implement responsibility-building habits.
- Faith-based perspective: The book is rooted in Christian principles, emphasizing stewardship, agency, and eternal family goals.
2. Why should I read "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre?
- Practical, proven methods: The book is filled with real-life examples, step-by-step methods, and family-tested activities that make teaching responsibility manageable and effective.
- Addresses modern parenting challenges: It tackles common issues like entitlement, lack of follow-through, and inconsistent discipline with clear solutions.
- Focus on long-term outcomes: The Eyres aim to help parents raise not just good children, but future good parents, emphasizing generational impact.
- Customizable for your family: The program is flexible, allowing parents to adapt methods to their unique family dynamics and each child’s personality.
- Faith and values integration: For those seeking to instill spiritual and moral values alongside practical skills, the book offers a holistic approach.
3. What are the key takeaways from "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre?
- Responsibility is taught, not innate: Children become responsible through intentional teaching, example, and consistent follow-through.
- Sequence matters: Teaching responsibility in the right order—obedience, stewardship, self-discipline, and service—builds a strong foundation.
- Family culture is crucial: Traditions, family laws, and regular councils create an environment where responsibility can thrive.
- Ownership and consequences: Children learn best when they have ownership over their things and actions, and experience natural consequences.
- Consistency and example: Parental consistency and modeling are essential; children do what is truly expected of them.
4. How do Linda and Richard Eyre define "responsibility" in "Teaching Your Children Responsibility"?
- Responsibility is relational: It always involves being responsible to someone (parent, God, self, others) and for something (actions, things, work, gifts).
- More than chores: Responsibility goes beyond tasks like putting away pajamas; it encompasses maturity, stewardship, discipline, and service.
- Cause of maturity: The Eyres argue that responsibility is not the result of maturity, but the cause of it.
- Levels of responsibility: The book outlines a progression: obedience (to parents), stewardship (to God), discipline (to self), and service (to others).
- Foundation for life: Responsibility is framed as the essence of the mortal test and a prerequisite for joy and charity.
5. What is the sequence for teaching responsibility in "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre?
- Start with obedience: Teach children to be responsible to parents through obedience, care for things, and participation in family work.
- Move to stewardship: As children mature, introduce responsibility to God—accountability for actions, gifts, and spiritual guidance.
- Develop self-discipline: Encourage responsibility to self, focusing on choices, character, and reaching personal potential.
- Culminate in service: The highest level is responsibility to others, teaching children to serve, contribute, and care for those around them.
- Follow age-appropriate overlaps: The Eyres recommend focusing on joy (0-6), responsibility (4-12), and charity (10-16), with natural overlaps.
6. What practical methods do Linda and Richard Eyre recommend for teaching obedience and family laws in "Teaching Your Children Responsibility"?
- Family law chart: Create simple, clear family laws with input from children, including agreed-upon consequences for breaking them.
- Trigger words: Use consistent signals (like “please” from parents and “Yes, Mommy/Daddy” from children) to reinforce obedience.
- Role-playing and stories: Use stories like “Cheekey and the Laws” and role-playing to help children understand the purpose and benefits of rules.
- Family councils: Hold regular meetings to discuss, revise, and recommit to family laws and mutual promises.
- Consistency is key: Enforce laws and consequences reliably to build trust and predictability.
7. How does "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre address responsibility for things and money?
- Ownership principle: Children value and care for things more when they feel true ownership, often by earning or working for them.
- Simplification: Reduce clutter and excess; fewer, higher-quality possessions make responsibility more manageable.
- Creative systems: Use methods like the “Gunny Bag” (a playful way to collect left-out items) and “things-on-the-bed” to reinforce tidiness.
- Early financial responsibility: Encourage children to earn, save, and manage their own money from a young age, using family banks and interest incentives.
- Modeling and example: Parents should demonstrate care for their own things and involve children in routines of order and maintenance.
8. What strategies do Linda and Richard Eyre suggest for teaching children the value of work in "Teaching Your Children Responsibility"?
- Family job charts and peg boards: Assign daily and weekly jobs, track completion visually, and celebrate progress.
- Make work enjoyable: Use games, music, and positive attitudes to make chores fun and fulfilling.
- Natural consequences: Occasionally “take the day off” from chores to let children experience the results of neglected work.
- Connect work to rewards: Differentiate between regular family responsibilities (done for satisfaction) and extra jobs (which can earn money).
- Teach by example: Parents should work alongside children, demonstrating pride and satisfaction in a job well done.
9. How does "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre incorporate spiritual responsibility and stewardship?
- Responsibility to God: Teach children that they are stewards over their bodies, gifts, and the earth, accountable to God for their use.
- Age of accountability: Emphasize the significance of baptism (age eight) as a transition to personal accountability before God.
- Love and positive fear: Instill both love for God and a healthy, respectful fear of disappointing Him, leading to true respect and responsibility.
- Repentance and restitution: Use real-life situations to teach children about making amends, repenting, and seeking forgiveness.
- Gratitude and prayer: Regularly express gratitude for God’s gifts and encourage children to pray for guidance and help in their responsibilities.
10. What are the key methods for developing self-discipline and potential in children according to "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre?
- Goal setting: Hold weekly “Sunday sessions” where each child sets and reviews personal goals, fostering self-motivation.
- Advance decisions: Help children make important decisions in advance (e.g., about honesty, substance use), increasing their ability to stand firm under pressure.
- Five-facet reviews: Regularly discuss each child’s progress in physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual areas to identify strengths and areas for growth.
- Consistent routines: Establish predictable schedules for meals, chores, homework, and practice to build habits of discipline.
- Praise effort, not just results: Reinforce the value of trying and improving, not just achieving perfection.
11. How does "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre teach children to serve others and develop Christlike responsibility?
- Responsibility for siblings: Assign older children meaningful roles in caring for and teaching younger siblings, fostering leadership and empathy.
- Service traditions: Create family traditions of service, such as “secret service” projects, charity concerts, and helping neighbors.
- Perspective and empathy: Use stories, sponsorship of needy children, and discussions about global needs to broaden children’s awareness and compassion.
- Contribution mindset: Encourage children to see their gifts and talents as tools for blessing others, not just themselves.
- Family symbols and mottos: Use visual reminders (like a family flag or motto) to reinforce the family’s commitment to service and contribution.
12. What are the most memorable quotes from "Teaching Your Children Responsibility" by Linda and Richard Eyre, and what do they mean?
- “Responsibility is not the result of maturity, but the cause of it.” – Teaching responsibility is what helps children grow up, not something to wait for until they’re “ready.”
- “The goal of good parents is to turn children into good parents.” – The ultimate aim is to raise children who will perpetuate strong values and responsibility in the next generation.
- “Children do exactly what is really expected of them.” – Parental expectations, when genuine and consistent, shape children’s behavior more than words alone.
- “If we do the organizing and establish the order, then all that is in between will follow.” – Creating structure and routines in the home lays the groundwork for spiritual and personal growth.
- “The most beautiful of all forms of give-and-take is when one takes the responsibility to give.” – True fulfillment comes when children learn to contribute to others, not just receive.
Review Summary
Teaching Children Responsibility receives mixed reviews, with an overall rating of 3.98/5. Many readers find it helpful, praising its practical ideas for implementing responsibility in children's lives. Some appreciate the book's influence on parenting and teaching. However, criticisms include the book's organization, perceived focus on tidiness, and complexity of some suggestions. Some readers feel the ideas are dated or overwhelming to implement. Several reviewers mention re-reading the book multiple times, finding it a valuable resource for family management and child-rearing.
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