Key Takeaways
1. Responsibility is a Cornerstone of Childhood Development
Mortality is a test of our willingness and ability to work out our own salvation, to become responsible agents unto ourselves and to God, thus to be more like him when we return to him.
The essence of parenting is to teach children responsibility. This encompasses three main objectives: teaching children joy (ages 0-6), responsibility (ages 4-12), and charity (ages 10-16). These objectives provide a framework for all principles children should learn.
Responsibility has many facets:
- Obedience to parents and authority
- Stewardship over possessions and gifts
- Self-discipline and personal accountability
- Service and care for others
Parents should focus on age-appropriate responsibilities, building upon each level as the child grows. This sequential approach ensures a solid foundation for lifelong responsibility and character development.
2. Teaching Obedience Lays the Foundation for Responsibility
Family laws, properly used and enforced, can be a prototype or training ground for children's abilities to keep God's laws.
Establish clear family laws to teach obedience and responsibility. These laws should be simple, direct, and created with the children's input. Consistent enforcement is crucial for effectiveness.
Key elements of teaching obedience:
- Use positive reinforcement and praise for good behavior
- Implement natural consequences for disobedience
- Model obedience and respect in your own actions
- Use "trigger words" as gentle reminders for expected behavior
Regular family councils and discussions about the importance of obedience help children understand the reasons behind rules and increase their willingness to comply. This foundation of obedience prepares children for greater responsibilities as they mature.
3. Children Must Learn Responsibility for Their Possessions
Responsibility is not the result of maturity, but the cause of it.
Teach ownership and care for personal belongings. This helps children develop a sense of pride and responsibility for their possessions, which extends to other areas of their lives.
Methods to encourage responsibility for possessions:
- Implement a "things-on-the-bed" system for misplaced items
- Create ownership tags or "in-place" tags for belongings
- Simplify and reduce the number of possessions
- Allow children to earn and manage their own money
By learning to care for their things, children develop organizational skills, respect for property, and an understanding of the value of material goods. This responsibility often translates into better care for shared spaces and others' belongings as well.
4. Work Instills a Sense of Responsibility and Self-Worth
Children who never learn to work not only fail to accomplish worthwhile things as adults, but they also forfeit one of the basic joys and fulfillments of life.
Introduce age-appropriate work to children early on. This helps them develop a strong work ethic, understand the value of effort, and gain a sense of accomplishment.
Ways to teach responsibility through work:
- Assign regular household chores
- Implement a family job chart or pegboard system
- Encourage participation in family projects (e.g., gardening)
- Share stories of hard work from family history
Work teaches children important life skills, time management, and the satisfaction of contributing to the family. It also prepares them for future academic and professional responsibilities.
5. Cultivating Responsibility to God Enhances Moral Development
The Holy Ghost can do so much for those who accept the responsibility of receiving and retaining His presence.
Help children understand their relationship with God and the responsibility that comes with it. This spiritual dimension adds depth to their moral development and decision-making process.
Methods to foster responsibility to God:
- Teach children about prayer and its power
- Explain the concept of stewardship over God's gifts
- Discuss the role of the Holy Ghost in guiding choices
- Encourage regular scripture study and reflection
By developing a sense of accountability to a higher power, children gain a stronger moral compass and a deeper understanding of the consequences of their actions. This responsibility to God can serve as a powerful motivator for righteous living.
6. Self-Discipline is Key to Personal Responsibility
To be obedient requires one level of maturity. To accept stewardship requires a higher level of maturity. And to be self-disciplined requires a still higher level of maturity.
Teach children self-control and the ability to motivate themselves. This internal discipline is crucial for long-term success and responsibility.
Strategies to develop self-discipline:
- Set clear expectations and goals
- Teach time management skills
- Encourage delayed gratification
- Praise effort and perseverance, not just results
Self-discipline allows children to take ownership of their actions and choices. It empowers them to set and achieve personal goals, resist temptations, and develop a strong sense of personal responsibility.
7. Children Should Learn to Make Responsible Choices
If we could only make decisions for them!" we say. But we can't. In the long perspective all we can do—and it is a great deal—is to teach them how to decide for themselves.
Guide children in decision-making processes. Help them understand the consequences of their choices and the importance of making responsible decisions.
Techniques for teaching responsible decision-making:
- Use role-playing to explore different scenarios
- Discuss the potential outcomes of various choices
- Teach the difference between short-term and long-term consequences
- Encourage children to seek guidance through prayer and reflection
By learning to make responsible choices early on, children develop critical thinking skills and the confidence to navigate complex situations as they grow older. This ability to choose wisely is a fundamental aspect of personal responsibility.
8. Building Character is Essential for Lifelong Responsibility
It has been said that, by the time he is fifty, every person has the face he deserves. The same thing could be said of character, only at a much earlier age.
Focus on character development as a foundation for responsibility. Strong character traits like honesty, integrity, and perseverance are crucial for maintaining responsibility throughout life.
Methods to build character:
- Share stories of admirable characters from history or literature
- Discuss and practice virtues regularly
- Create opportunities for children to demonstrate good character
- Recognize and praise instances of strong character
Character development goes hand-in-hand with teaching responsibility. A child with strong character is more likely to make responsible choices and fulfill their obligations, even when faced with challenges or temptations.
9. Children Must Realize Their Potential and Be Responsible for It
Every person comes into mortality with specific foreordinations. To those who find and fill theirs, there will be great rewards hereafter.
Help children discover and develop their unique talents and potential. Teach them that they are responsible for making the most of their God-given gifts.
Strategies to foster responsibility for potential:
- Encourage goal-setting and achievement
- Expose children to a variety of experiences and opportunities
- Teach the concept of stewardship over talents
- Discuss the idea of foreordination and divine purpose
By understanding their potential and feeling responsible for developing it, children are more likely to strive for excellence and make meaningful contributions to society. This sense of purpose can be a powerful motivator for personal growth and responsibility.
10. Fostering Responsibility Towards Others Builds Empathy and Service
When responsibility becomes associated with service, it takes on Christlike qualities.
Teach children to be responsible for others, not just themselves. This develops empathy, compassion, and a sense of community responsibility.
Ways to encourage responsibility towards others:
- Assign older children to help younger siblings
- Involve children in family service projects
- Teach the concept of stewardship over the earth and its resources
- Encourage volunteering and community involvement
By learning to be responsible for others, children develop a broader perspective on their role in society. This sense of social responsibility helps create well-rounded, caring individuals who are more likely to contribute positively to their communities and the world at large.
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Review Summary
Teaching Children Responsibility receives mixed reviews, with an overall rating of 3.98/5. Many readers find it helpful, praising its practical ideas for implementing responsibility in children's lives. Some appreciate the book's influence on parenting and teaching. However, criticisms include the book's organization, perceived focus on tidiness, and complexity of some suggestions. Some readers feel the ideas are dated or overwhelming to implement. Several reviewers mention re-reading the book multiple times, finding it a valuable resource for family management and child-rearing.
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