The Anglo Files

1. British Reserve and Emotional Repression

Unlike Americans, they do not want to tell you their life story minutes after making your acquaintance; it takes some time to get that far, but if you do, it means you’re friends for life.

A culture of reserve. Britons, particularly those of older generations or certain social backgrounds, exhibit a deep-seated reserve that can be baffling to more effusive cultures like the American one. This manifests in subtle ways, from avoiding direct questions about personal matters to preferring formal introductions even at social gatherings. Building close relationships requires patience and navigating layers of polite distance.

Apologies and understatement. A common manifestation of this reserve is the frequent use of apologies, even when no fault has been committed, and a tendency towards understatement. Expressing strong emotions or definitive opinions is often avoided, replaced by qualifications, disclaimers, and ironic remarks. This linguistic cushioning serves to maintain social harmony and avoid appearing overly assertive or vulnerable.

The stiff upper lip. The historical ideal of the "stiff upper lip" encourages enduring hardship without complaint, a trait exemplified by figures like Captain Oates. While this stoicism can be admirable in times of crisis, it can also lead to emotional suppression and a reluctance to seek help or express vulnerability. The contrast between this traditional ideal and more modern, open displays of emotion (like those seen after Princess Diana's death) highlights a cultural shift.

2. Awkwardness with Sex and Bodies

“I’m a rumpy-pumpy kind of girl, myself,” she said.

Euphemisms abound. Britons often use a bewildering array of euphemisms for sex and body parts, from "rumpy-pumpy" for intercourse to "naughty bits" or "dangly bits" for genitals. This linguistic avoidance suggests a deep-seated discomfort with direct discussion of sexual matters, contrasting sharply with the more explicit language common in American culture.

Unconventional sex education. The author recounts numerous anecdotes of bizarre or inadequate sex education received by British contemporaries, often in single-sex boarding schools. Examples include:

• Being told to expect a "golden seed" in bed.
• Advice to take a cold bath or run to "get it out of your system."
• Being shown large pictures of diseased private parts.
• A nun advising girls to put a newspaper on their laps at discos.

Lingering discomfort. These early experiences, coupled with a cultural tendency towards repression, contribute to a lingering awkwardness around sex and the human body. This is seen in everything from the discomfort discussing childbirth or gynecological procedures to the prevalence of euphemisms and the surprising frequency with which people discuss buttocks.

3. The Peculiar World of Parliament

"It feels rather more like a teenage public school—you know, a public school full of teenage boys."

A clubby atmosphere. The House of Commons, despite being the center of British democracy, often operates like an old-fashioned men's club or a raucous school debating society. Its physical layout, with opposing benches separated by two sword lengths, encourages confrontation and heckling rather than collegial consensus-building.

Schoolboy behavior. New women MPs elected in 1997 were shocked by the prevailing culture, which included:

• Late-night sessions fueled by alcohol.
• Audible critiques of women's appearance ("Blair's Babes").
• Obscene gestures and personal attacks during debates.
• Referring to women MPs as "girls" or "Betty."
• Shouting animal noises or insults related to personal failings.

"Traditional vigor". While outsiders might see this behavior as boorish or childish, it is often defended as "traditional vigor and forthrightness." The Speaker attempts to maintain order, but debates can be shockingly rude, with insults flying across the aisle, albeit often couched in formal language like "the honourable gentleman." This contrasts with the more formal and self-important tone often found in the U.S. Congress.

4. The Wild West of British Media

"When I published those stories, they were not lies," declared Kelvin Mackenzie, who edited the Sun in the 1980s. "They were great stories that later turned out to be untrue."

Entertainment over accuracy. British newspapers, particularly the tabloids, prioritize entertainment, opinion, and sensationalism over strict factual accuracy. They are openly biased, often gleefully so, and see little value in the disingenuous neutrality they perceive in American journalism. This leads to a vibrant but often unreliable press landscape.

Dubious practices. The competitive nature of the British press encourages practices that would be frowned upon elsewhere, such as:

• Paying sources for stories, especially after tragedies.
• Deliberately behaving offensively to secure exclusives.
• Inventing or embellishing facts ("the fact too good to check").
• Running stories that are later revealed to be completely false.

Contempt for journalists. Despite their widespread readership, British newspapers and journalists are often held in low regard by the public and politicians alike. Reporters are frequently seen as intrusive, amoral, and untrustworthy. This mutual loathing is openly displayed, contrasting with the American ideal (however flawed) of the press as a vital check on power.

5. A Nation's Love Affair with Drink

"Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles."

Alcohol as social lubricant. For many Britons, alcohol is an essential tool for easing social awkwardness and facilitating conversation. It is deeply ingrained in the culture, from casual pub visits to formal dinners, and is often seen as a necessary prelude to relaxation and enjoyment, particularly for those who are naturally reserved.

Tolerance for drunkenness. There is a surprising cultural tolerance, even amusement, for drunken behavior, provided it doesn't cross the line into public sloppiness or violence (though that line is often blurred). Historical figures and fictional characters alike are celebrated for their boozy antics. This contrasts with the more puritanical American attitude towards public intoxication.

Serious consequences. Despite the cultural acceptance, alcohol abuse is a significant problem in Britain, with rising rates of binge drinking and alcohol-related health issues. The effects are visible in:

• Increased hospital admissions for liver disease.
• Drunken violence in city centers on weekends.
• Disruptive behavior on public transport.
• Notorious incidents involving politicians and public figures.

6. Cricket: More Than Just a Game

"A lot of people who don’t play cricket think it’s boring," Nick told me, in what was the recurring theme of our long afternoon together. "But if you understand the game, it’s very very tense."

A game of endurance. Cricket, particularly the traditional five-day "test matches," is characterized by its slow pace, complex rules, and potential for long periods of inaction. This inherent tedium is not a flaw but a feature, requiring patience and endurance from both players and spectators. It is a game that rewards the ability to "endure things."

Metaphor for life. Cricket serves as a powerful metaphor for British life and character, embodying:

• A link to history and empire.
• A blend of tradition and occasional attempts at modernization.
• A focus on process and endurance over immediate results.
• A source of philosophical reflection and extensive literature.

Resistance to change. Efforts to modernize cricket, such as the introduction of faster "Twenty20" matches, are met with resistance from traditionalists who lament the loss of the game's contemplative nature and see it as catering to short attention spans. This tension between preserving tradition and adapting to modern demands reflects broader cultural debates in Britain.

7. The Enduring Puzzle of Class

Class in Britain is like what hard-core porn was to Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart: impossible to define, but you know it when you see it.

Subtle, yet pervasive. Despite claims of a "classless society," class distinctions remain deeply ingrained in Britain, manifesting in subtle cues like pronunciation, vocabulary, and consumer choices. Actively acknowledging or caring about class is considered déclassé, creating a complex social dance of denial and unspoken understanding.

Indicators and shibboleths. Class is revealed through a myriad of indicators, often baffling to outsiders:

• Pronunciation of names (Cholmondeley as Chumley).
• Vocabulary (lavatory vs. toilet, sofa vs. settee).
• Consumer choices (type of marmalade, bringing cheap chocolates as a gift).
• Attitudes towards ambition and display of wealth.

Reverse snobbery. There is a tendency towards reverse snobbery, where people from privileged backgrounds may downplay their origins, while those from less privileged backgrounds may face suspicion or resentment if they appear too ambitious or "nouveau." This creates a climate where both boasting and appearing too eager to climb the social ladder are frowned upon.

8. Eccentricity and the Right to Be Odd

Britain loves its oddball characters, and Bethell was a fine example.

Tolerance for the peculiar. Britain has a long-standing tradition of tolerance, even affection, for eccentric individuals who challenge norms or pursue unusual passions. This acceptance of oddity is seen as a manifestation of the country's libertarian streak and a counterpoint to its reputation for conformity.

Real-life characters. The country produces a steady stream of memorable eccentric figures, often celebrated in obituaries for their peculiar habits, bizarre beliefs, or unconventional protests. Examples include:

• Vincent Bethell, the "Naked Guy" protesting for freedom.
• Angle-Grinder Man, the superhero vigilante freeing booted cars.
• Stanley Green, who paraded with a placard warning against protein.
• Isabella Blow, the fashion editor known for impractical hats.

Contrast with self-serious display. This appreciation for genuine eccentricity contrasts sharply with the British reaction to self-important, attention-seeking displays, particularly from foreigners. Figures like David Blaine, who took his stunts overly seriously, were met with ridicule and mockery, highlighting the preference for oddity that is authentic rather than manufactured for fame.

9. The Art of Self-Deprecation

"I didn’t get one, which is quite right," he noted.

Downplaying achievement. Britons often engage in aggressive self-deprecation, downplaying their accomplishments and highlighting their flaws. This is not always genuine modesty but a complex social strategy to avoid appearing boastful, arrogant, or overly ambitious, traits that are culturally frowned upon.

Humor and misdirection. Instead of directly answering questions about success or progress, Britons may deflect with humor, amusing anecdotes of failure, or vague dismissals. This can be confusing for those from cultures where directness and self-promotion are more common. The goal is often to prove one's ability to laugh at oneself and demonstrate a lack of self-importance.

The "false modesty" paradox. The practice can become so ingrained that it appears insincere, leading to accusations of "false modesty." However, for many Britons, this is simply the default mode of self-presentation, a way of navigating social interactions without appearing too "puffed up." It requires a certain kind of confidence to constantly run oneself down.

10. Dental Distress

"It’s simply astonishing in this day and age that we have people pulling their own teeth out."

A national issue. Despite being a developed nation, Britain faces significant challenges in dental care, particularly within the state-funded National Health Service (NHS). Access to dentists can be difficult, leading to long queues, untreated pain, and in extreme cases, people resorting to self-extraction.

Historical context. The state of British teeth is often linked to historical factors, including:

• A lack of widespread water fluoridation due to public resistance.
• A cultural attitude that historically viewed extensive dental work as unnecessary or vain.
• The legacy of postwar rationing and privation, which affected diet and health.

The NHS strain. The NHS dental system has struggled with funding, dentist recruitment, and patient access. Dentists have left the public system for private practice, leaving many patients without care. This has created a two-tier system where those who can afford private care have access to modern dentistry, while others face significant barriers.

11. The Consumer Revolution and Enduring Annoyances

The service industry began actively pursuing that previously unimportant goal, customer satisfaction, and sometimes they got it right.

From privation to plenty. Britain has undergone a significant consumer revolution, moving from a postwar era of rationing and limited choice to one of abundance and demanding customers. This shift, fueled by economic growth and increased exposure to global consumer culture, has transformed the retail and service industries.

Improved, but still quirky. While service standards have generally improved, remnants of the old ways persist, and new frustrations have emerged. Examples include:

• Previously surly service replaced by sometimes forced cheerfulness.
• Wide availability of goods contrasting with lingering infrastructure issues (train delays, airport chaos).
• High prices and increasing debt levels.
• A new "compensation culture" leading to excessive "Health and Safety" precautions.

The weather remains a constant. Despite all the changes, the weather remains a defining, and often frustrating, aspect of British life. Its unpredictability and frequent unpleasantness continue to shape social activities and provide a perennial topic for complaint and conversation. The national tendency to plan outdoor events despite the high likelihood of rain highlights a unique blend of optimism, stubbornness, and a willingness to "make the best of it."

Last updated: June 9, 2025