The Everything Parent's Guide to Children with Executive Functioning Disorder

1. Executive functioning is the brain's control center for self-regulation and goal achievement

Executive functioning skills are all of the cognitive skills needed to regulate your thinking, feeling, and behavior, often to reach a goal.

Brain's command center. Executive functioning is like the CEO of the brain, responsible for managing cognitive processes such as memory, attention, and problem-solving. These skills are crucial for everyday tasks, from following directions to completing complex projects.

Key components. The "Big Ten" executive functions include:

• Task initiation
• Response inhibition
• Focus
• Time management
• Working memory
• Flexibility
• Self-regulation
• Emotional self-control
• Task completion
• Organization

Developmental process. Executive functioning skills develop gradually throughout childhood and adolescence, with the prefrontal cortex continuing to mature into early adulthood. This prolonged development means that children and teens may need varying levels of support as they grow.

2. Children develop executive skills at different rates, requiring tailored support

Children all grow and learn at different paces. Some kids learn very quickly, and others require more adult guidance.

Individual differences. Just as children learn to read or ride a bike at different ages, they also develop executive functioning skills at varying rates. Some children naturally excel in organization and time management, while others struggle with these tasks well into adolescence.

Smooth sailors vs. boat rockers. The author categorizes children into two groups:

• Smooth sailors: Quickly adapt to new routines and independently problem-solve
• Boat rockers: Require more guidance, struggle with consistency, and often need repeated reminders

Tailored interventions. Recognizing these differences allows parents and educators to provide appropriate support. Strategies may include:

• Breaking tasks into smaller steps
• Providing visual aids and checklists
• Offering more frequent check-ins and guidance
• Teaching specific organizational and time management techniques

3. ADHD, Autism, and learning disabilities often involve executive functioning challenges

Executive functioning deficits are a symptom of many disorders, but there are a few that are most commonly associated with executive functioning difficulties.

Common conditions. Several neurodevelopmental disorders are associated with executive functioning challenges:

• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Autism Spectrum Disorders
• Learning Disabilities
• Emotional Disorders

ADHD and executive functioning. ADHD is particularly linked to executive functioning difficulties, affecting areas such as:

• Impulse control
• Working memory
• Emotional regulation
• Task initiation and completion

Multifaceted approach. Addressing executive functioning challenges in these conditions often requires a combination of:

• Behavioral interventions
• Environmental modifications
• Skill-building exercises
• Medication (in some cases)
• Collaboration between parents, educators, and healthcare professionals

4. Task initiation and completion are crucial skills that can be improved with strategies

Starting on a task is often half the battle in getting something done.

Overcoming procrastination. Task initiation difficulties can lead to chronic procrastination. Strategies to combat this include:

• Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps
• Using visual aids to represent task progress
• Implementing reward systems for completed tasks
• Teaching time estimation skills

Visualization techniques. Helping children visualize the end result and positive emotions associated with task completion can be motivating. Encourage them to imagine:

• What they will feel like when the task is done
• The specific steps needed to complete the task
• The rewards or benefits of finishing

Building momentum. For children who struggle with task completion, try:

• The "just 5 minutes" rule to get started
• Creating a distraction-free work environment
• Using timers to build focus stamina
• Celebrating small wins along the way

5. Effective time management and organization are teachable life skills

Organization of materials is critical to school success.

Structured systems. Implementing organizational systems can greatly improve academic performance:

• Color-coding subjects and materials
• Using planners or digital calendars
• Creating designated spaces for different types of items
• Implementing a "home" for everything

Time management techniques. Teaching children to manage their time effectively includes:

• Using analog clocks to visualize time passing
• Breaking large tasks into timed segments
• Creating daily and weekly schedules
• Teaching prioritization skills

Consistency is key. Regularly reviewing and adjusting organizational systems helps children internalize these skills. Parents and teachers should:

• Check in daily or weekly on planner use
• Help declutter backpacks and workspaces regularly
• Encourage reflection on what organizational methods are working

6. Emotional self-control is essential for academic and social success

The ability to control one's emotions is key in positive learning outcomes and daily functioning.

Recognizing emotions. Teaching children to identify and label their emotions is the first step in developing emotional self-control. Strategies include:

• Using feeling charts or thermometers
• Discussing characters' emotions in books or movies
• Modeling emotional awareness by verbalizing your own feelings

Coping strategies. Help children develop a toolkit of coping mechanisms:

• Deep breathing exercises
• Counting to ten when frustrated
• Taking a brief break or "time-out" to reset
• Using positive self-talk

Social implications. Emotional self-control is crucial for maintaining friendships and navigating social situations. Teach children to:

• Consider others' perspectives
• Use "I" statements to express feelings
• Practice problem-solving in social conflicts
• Understand the impact of their emotional reactions on others

7. Parents play a vital role in supporting executive functioning development

Parents can help support the writing process by teaching and reinforcing good metacognitive writing strategies.

Modeling skills. Children learn by observing, so parents should demonstrate good executive functioning:

• Talk through problem-solving processes out loud
• Show organization and time management in daily life
• Model emotional regulation during stressful situations

Scaffolding support. Gradually reduce assistance as children develop skills:

• Start with high levels of guidance and structure
• Progressively give more independence in task completion
• Allow for natural consequences when appropriate

Creating a supportive environment. Set up your home to foster executive functioning development:

• Establish consistent routines
• Provide visual aids and reminders
• Create designated study and organization spaces
• Offer positive reinforcement for using executive skills

8. School transitions require additional executive functioning support

Transitions can be facilitated by music or song. It's no coincidence that in most preschools, music is played when it is time to clean up, or the class sings a clean-up song.

Anticipatory guidance. Prepare children for transitions by:

• Discussing upcoming changes well in advance
• Visiting new schools or classrooms when possible
• Creating visual schedules of new routines

Increased demands. As children progress through school, executive functioning requirements increase:

• Elementary to middle school: Multiple teachers, locker management, changing classrooms
• Middle to high school: Longer-term projects, more independent study skills

Collaboration with schools. Work with teachers and administrators to:

• Understand new expectations and systems
• Implement accommodations if necessary
• Gradually increase independence while maintaining support

9. Balancing support and independence is key to fostering growth

Knowing when and how much support and help is needed and what your role should be with your child's schoolwork and social life can be challenging.

Avoiding helicopter parenting. While support is crucial, excessive intervention can hinder development. Consider:

• Does your child clearly need help?
• Is your help complementing or replacing your child's effort?
• Is your child comfortable receiving help?

Gradual independence. Incrementally reduce support to foster self-reliance:

• Start with high levels of structure and monitoring
• Progressively give more responsibility and decision-making power
• Allow for natural consequences when appropriate

Preparing for adulthood. Focus on building essential life skills:

• Time management and scheduling
• Financial responsibility
• Self-advocacy
• Problem-solving in social and academic situations
• Balancing responsibilities and self-care

Last updated: July 27, 2024