The Faraway Nearby

1. Storytelling shapes our identities and worldviews

We tell ourselves stories in order to live, or to justify taking lives, even our own, by violence or by numbness and the failure to live; tell ourselves stories that save us and stories that are the quicksand in which we thrash and the well in which we drown, stories of justification, of accursedness, of luck and star-crossed love, or versions clad in the cynicism that is at times a very elegant garment.

Stories as identity. The narratives we construct and embrace profoundly influence our perception of ourselves and the world around us. These stories can be empowering or limiting, shaping our actions, relationships, and life trajectories.

The power of reframing. By consciously examining and reframing our personal narratives, we can transform our experiences and outlook. This process of storytelling and re-storytelling is a fundamental aspect of human cognition and emotional processing.

Examples of transformative storytelling:

• Overcoming trauma through narrative therapy
• Cultural myths that shape societal values
• Personal growth through journaling and self-reflection

2. Empathy expands our sense of self and connection to others

If numbness contracts the boundaries of the self, empathy expands it. You can describe what happened to Guevara in the trip across the leprosariums of South America as an awakening, but you can also think of it as an enlarging; he took the people he met in, into himself, and his boundaries moved outward.

Empathy as expansion. By cultivating empathy, we extend our sense of self beyond our individual experiences, incorporating the perspectives and emotions of others. This expansion of self leads to greater connection and understanding.

The ripple effect of compassion. As we develop empathy, our actions become more considerate and inclusive, creating a positive impact on our relationships and communities. This ripple effect can lead to societal changes and a more compassionate world.

Ways to cultivate empathy:

• Active listening without judgment
• Volunteer work and community service
• Reading diverse literature and engaging with different cultures
• Practicing mindfulness and self-awareness

3. Pain and suffering can be transformative experiences

Sometimes the key arrives long before the lock. Sometimes a story falls in your lap. Once about a hundred pounds of apricots fell into mine.

Growth through adversity. Challenging experiences, while often painful, can serve as catalysts for personal growth and transformation. These moments of difficulty can unlock hidden strengths and new perspectives.

Finding meaning in suffering. By reframing our relationship to pain and suffering, we can discover profound insights and purpose. This alchemical process of turning adversity into wisdom is a recurring theme in human history and personal development.

Examples of transformative suffering:

• Post-traumatic growth in survivors of trauma
• Artistic and creative breakthroughs inspired by hardship
• Spiritual awakenings triggered by life crises
• Scientific discoveries born from personal struggles

4. Memory and identity are fluid, constantly evolving

Sometimes I get mail for people who lived in my home before I did, and sometimes my own body seems like a home through which successive people have passed like tenants, leaving behind memories, habits, scars, skills, and other souvenirs.

The impermanence of self. Our identities are not fixed, but rather a constantly evolving tapestry of experiences, memories, and relationships. This fluidity allows for personal growth and adaptation throughout our lives.

Embracing change. Recognizing the transient nature of our identities can lead to greater acceptance of change and loss. It invites us to approach life with curiosity and openness, rather than clinging to rigid self-concepts.

Factors influencing identity fluidity:

• Life transitions (e.g., career changes, parenthood, aging)
• Cultural shifts and societal changes
• Personal growth and self-discovery
• Neuroplasticity and ongoing brain development

5. The power of presence in the face of loss and change

There is a serenity in illness that takes away all the need to do and makes just being enough. In that state I've only been in before with severe flu, there is no boredom, no restlessness, not much thinking about what should be done or what has been done.

Being vs. doing. In moments of profound change or loss, the simple act of being present can be a powerful source of comfort and healing. This shift from constant activity to mindful presence allows for deeper acceptance and processing of difficult experiences.

Embracing impermanence. By cultivating a practice of presence, we can develop greater resilience in the face of life's inevitable changes and losses. This mindset allows us to appreciate the fleeting nature of all experiences, both joyful and painful.

Practices for cultivating presence:

• Mindfulness meditation
• Deep breathing exercises
• Engaging in flow states through art or physical activities
• Spending time in nature

6. Nature and wilderness as sources of insight and renewal

To have something to say is one thing; to have someone who hears it is another. To be heard literally is to have the vibrations of the air travel through the labyrinth of the listener's ear to the mind, but more must unfold in that darkness.

Nature as teacher. The natural world offers profound lessons in resilience, interconnectedness, and the cyclical nature of life. Engaging with wilderness can provide clarity and perspective on our human experiences.

Renewal through immersion. Spending time in nature can serve as a powerful reset for our overstimulated minds and bodies. This reconnection with the natural world can inspire creativity, reduce stress, and foster a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves.

Benefits of nature immersion:

• Reduced stress and anxiety
• Increased creativity and problem-solving abilities
• Enhanced sense of awe and wonder
• Improved physical health and well-being

7. Embracing uncertainty and the unknown in life's journey

A labyrinth is an ancient device that compresses a journey into a small space, winds up a path like thread on a spool. It contains beginning, confusion, perseverance, arrival, and return.

Uncertainty as opportunity. Rather than fearing the unknown, we can approach it as a space of potential and growth. Embracing uncertainty allows for greater flexibility and resilience in navigating life's challenges.

The journey as the destination. By reframing our perspective on life's journey, we can find meaning and purpose in the process of exploration and discovery, rather than fixating solely on end goals.

Strategies for embracing uncertainty:

• Cultivating a growth mindset
• Practicing mindfulness and present-moment awareness
• Developing adaptability and resilience skills
• Engaging in creative pursuits that encourage experimentation

8. The interconnectedness of all beings and experiences

We live inside each other's thoughts and works. As I write, I sit in a building erected on a steep slope, so that what is the first floor uphill is the second floor downhill. Someone thought through the site and designed this structure specifically for this corner; someone cut the lumber in a forest up or down the coast; someone framed the structure, plastered the walls, laid the oak floorboards, the pipes, and the wires; someone designed and others made the chair I sit on, all of it long before I was born.

Web of connections. Recognizing the intricate web of connections that link us to all beings and experiences fosters a sense of belonging and responsibility. This awareness can lead to more compassionate and considerate actions.

Ripple effects. Understanding the far-reaching consequences of our thoughts and actions encourages mindful living and a sense of stewardship for the world around us.

Examples of interconnectedness:

• Ecological systems and food webs
• Global economic interdependence
• Cultural exchange and influence
• Generational impact of actions and decisions

9. Forgiveness as a path to personal liberation

Maybe the word forgive points in the wrong direction, since it's something you mostly give yourself, not anyone else: you put down the ugly weight of old suffering, untie yourself from the awful, and walk away from it.

Self-liberation through forgiveness. The act of forgiveness is primarily about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment and pain, rather than absolving others of responsibility.

Breaking cycles of suffering. By choosing forgiveness, we interrupt cycles of hurt and retaliation, creating space for healing and growth. This process can lead to profound personal transformation and improved relationships.

Steps towards forgiveness:

• Acknowledging and processing emotions
• Developing empathy for the other person
• Reframing the experience for personal growth
• Letting go of the need for revenge or validation
• Focusing on present well-being and future possibilities

Last updated: January 23, 2025