The Financial Diet

1. Give a Shit About Money: It's About Loving Future You

Saving money isn’t about depriving yourself. It’s about deciding you love Future You as much as you love Today You.

Money isn't just numbers. Your financial health is deeply intertwined with your overall well-being and control over your life. Ignoring money problems, especially mistakes made when young, can lead to significant long-term consequences like debt, poor credit, and limited options. The author's own journey from maxing out credit cards at 18 to managing finances responsibly highlights the importance of confronting past mistakes and building better habits.

The system is stacked. While systemic issues like student debt and the cost of living make financial stability challenging for many, especially millennials, this shouldn't be an excuse to disengage. Blaming external factors without taking personal action leaves you powerless. The key is to recognize the challenges but focus on the aspects of your finances you can control, no matter how small they seem initially.

Start small, build control. Giving a shit about money doesn't require becoming a finance expert overnight. It starts with small, actionable steps like understanding where your money goes and being honest about your habits. This initial effort, even just reading a book or talking to friends, builds momentum and confidence, leading to greater control over your financial destiny and overall life.

2. Master Your Budget: Know Where Every Dollar Goes

Without a budget, you have no chance of getting control over your money—and getting it to do what you want.

Budgeting isn't punishment. Many people, including the author initially, view budgeting as restrictive and boring, a sign of financial failure rather than a tool for empowerment. This mindset prevents them from gaining clarity on their spending habits and making intentional choices about their money. Embracing a budget is essential for moving beyond just "having something" in your account to actively directing your finances towards your goals.

Confront your habits. The first step to budgeting is a brutal, honest assessment of your spending. Using apps or manually tracking expenses reveals impulse buys, unnecessary luxuries, and spending patterns you might not realize you have. This confrontation, while potentially uncomfortable, provides the necessary insight to identify weak spots and make meaningful changes. Experts like Cait Flanders emphasize pausing before purchases and living on a fixed, smaller budget to maximize savings potential.

Structure and automate. A good budget provides structure and can be simplified through automation. The 50/30/20 rule (50% needs, 30% wants, 20% savings/debt) is a popular framework, but the core principle is dedicating a significant portion to savings and security, like an emergency fund (3-6 months of living costs). Automating savings transfers and bill payments ensures consistency and removes the temptation to spend money before it's allocated to important goals.

3. Make Your Money Work: Start Investing Young

Being young is like having a secret cheat code to increasing your wealth, because your money has a much longer time to grow.

Investing isn't just for experts. The idea that investing is complex, risky, and only for wealthy older men is a major barrier for young people. In reality, basic investing, particularly through retirement accounts, is accessible, requires minimal effort, and is crucial for long-term wealth building. Starting early leverages the power of compound interest, making even small contributions grow significantly over time.

Follow a simple path. The "Total Idiot's Guide to Investing" outlines a clear progression:

• Build an emergency fund.
• Pay down high-interest debt (often a better return than investing).
• Open a retirement account, especially if there's an employer match (free money!).
• Explore low-risk options like mutual or index funds.
• Only consider individual stocks if you're confident and informed.
  This phased approach prioritizes security before higher-risk investments.

Seek guidance and understand basics. You don't need to be a Wall Street guru, but understanding basic terms and principles is key. Resources like HR departments, financial firms offering free guidance (like Fidelity's Kristen Robinson), or trusted family members can serve as "financial Sherpas." Learning concepts like the Rule of 72 (estimating investment doubling time) and the different types of retirement accounts (401k, IRA, Roth IRA, SEP IRA) empowers you to make informed decisions and avoid costly mistakes.

4. Be the CEO of Your Life: Build Financial Freedom for Career Choice

Put a value on your time, and start measuring your wealth not in money but in freedom.

Financial stability enables career freedom. Being stuck in a job you hate, even if it pays well, is often a result of financial constraints like debt or lack of savings. An iron grip on your budget, living below your means, and diversifying income streams provide the flexibility and safety net needed to pursue more fulfilling professional paths, take risks, or transition to new fields. Your financial health directly impacts your ability to be the "CEO" of your own professional journey.

Work ethic and fulfillment. Success isn't just about finding the "magic job"; it's about bringing your best to each role and actively seeking fulfillment. This involves developing a strong work ethic, prioritizing tasks effectively, and deciding what truly matters in your career beyond just the paycheck. Regularly assessing your job satisfaction and setting goals (like Joanne Cleaver's Career Checkup questions) ensures you're moving towards a professional life that aligns with your values.

Diversify skills and income. Relying solely on one job for income and fulfillment can be precarious. Side hustles, even small ones, not only bolster finances but also develop new skills and provide alternative sources of satisfaction, reducing dependence on a single employer. Investing in yourself through learning new skills, networking strategically (as Joanne Cleaver advises), and demanding fair compensation are crucial steps in building a resilient and adaptable career.

5. Be Your Own Italian Grandmother: Cook at Home to Save Big

Feed yourself like you were a welcome guest in your own home, not an ex you were trying to get rid of.

Home cooking is essential. Relying heavily on takeout and restaurants is unnecessarily expensive and disconnects you from your food. Embracing home cooking as a daily necessity, rather than a daunting chore or a performance for social media, is one of the most impactful ways to save money consistently. It's about pragmatism and nourishment first, fancy meals second.

Embrace the "Italian Grandmother" mindset. This approach focuses on practicality, frugality, and making the most of what you have. Key principles include:

• Minimizing waste by using all groceries.
• Thinking in ingredients that can be used across multiple meals.
• Big-batch cooking and freezing staples like sauces and soups.
• Making meat a smaller, less frequent part of meals.
• Having go-to recipes you can make easily.

Stock your kitchen wisely. You don't need every gadget, but having essential tools (like a good knife, cutting board, basic pots/pans, and measuring tools, as recommended by the author's mom) and staple ingredients (spices, oils, grains, canned goods) makes whipping up a meal much easier and more appealing than ordering in. Learning basic techniques and having a few reliable recipes for common situations (cocktails, using leftovers, big batches, quick weeknight meals, easy desserts) builds confidence and makes home cooking a natural part of your routine.

6. Feel Good in the Place You Live: Create an Affordable Home Sanctuary

Create the kind of home a grown-up lives in.

Your home impacts your budget. Where and how you live is often the biggest expense, but it also significantly influences other spending habits. A comfortable, well-maintained home encourages staying in, cooking, and entertaining at home, saving money on going out. Creating a space you love, even on a budget, is an investment in your well-being and financial health.

Master renting and DIY. For renters, protecting yourself is key: document everything, know your lease, and understand your rights. Learning basic handiwork and DIY skills (like those in the author's mom's tool kit) saves money on repairs and allows you to customize and improve your space without expensive professionals. Carrie Waller's budget decor rules emphasize taking your time, shopping secondhand, sticking to a color palette, using coupons, and DIYing decor to create a stylish space affordably.

Homeownership requires planning. Buying a home is a significant financial decision and investment, but it's not unattainable for millennials if planned for actively. It requires saving for a down payment, understanding your credit score (and how to improve it), assessing your income stability, and being prepared for ongoing costs beyond the mortgage (taxes, insurance, maintenance). Erica Sinchak advises using affordability calculators, shopping around for mortgages, and ensuring you have sufficient savings for unexpected expenses.

7. Be a Miranda, Not a Carrie: Talk Openly About Money in Relationships

There’s nothing more cringeworthy than having a relationship be your financial plan.

Money is not taboo. Unlike the unrealistic financial lives often portrayed in pop culture (like Carrie Bradshaw's), real relationships require open and honest conversations about money. Avoiding the topic, even with close friends or partners, creates awkwardness, resentment, and can lead to significant problems down the line. Embracing a "Miranda" mindset means being pragmatic, setting boundaries, and integrating financial discussions into the core of your relationships.

Navigate differences with empathy. Financial disparities or different money personalities (spender vs. hoarder, worrier vs. avoider, as identified by Olivia Mellan) are common in relationships. These differences aren't insurmountable but require empathetic communication, active listening, and validation to prevent polarization. Mellan's "mirroring exercise" (mirroring, validation, empathy) provides a framework for discussing emotionally charged money topics constructively.

Maintain financial independence. A crucial strategy, especially for women, is maintaining some separate money within a relationship. This isn't about mistrust but about preserving a sense of self and security, preventing over-giving, and ensuring you have options regardless of the relationship's status. Openly discussing financial backgrounds and current situations, as writer Ashley Ford advocates, helps normalize differences and prevents potential landmines related to class or income disparities.

8. Build (and Pay For) Your Happiness: Dream Medium and Diversify Fulfillment

Give yourself permission to change your mind, and to start small.

"Follow your dreams" is often misleading. The popular narrative of relentlessly chasing one big dream ignores the financial realities and privileges required to take significant risks. It can lead to burnout, disappointment, and feeling like a failure if your path isn't a straight line to success. True fulfillment rarely comes from a single source, and expecting one job or passion to provide everything is unrealistic and unhealthy.

Embrace "dreaming medium". This approach involves breaking down lofty goals into smaller, manageable steps and pursuing multiple sources of fulfillment simultaneously. It acknowledges that you may need to work jobs you don't love for a period to build the financial stability required for bigger pursuits. Diversifying your income, skills, and sources of happiness (the "Rule of Four": having four things as defining as your work) creates resilience and prevents any single disappointment from derailing your life.

Plan, adapt, and be kind. Achieving your goals requires practical planning, not just passion. Create detailed financial and action plans, break them into monthly steps, and be prepared for unexpected challenges. Crucially, give yourself permission to change your mind, adapt your plans as life evolves, and accept that not every attempt will succeed. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, acknowledge your privileges or obstacles, and remember that building happiness is an ongoing construction, not a magical destination.

Last updated: May 1, 2025