The Half of It

1. Fame is a Side Effect, Not the Goal

Fame is merely a side effect of the career I’ve chosen. It’s not the reward or the end goal.

Passion over popularity. The author emphasizes that genuine fulfillment comes from pursuing one's passions, not chasing fame or money. Those who enter the industry solely for fame and fortune often burn out quickly, experiencing a harsh crash afterward. The author's initial goal was simply to make music and write lyrics that resonated with her.

The illusion of celebrity. The book reveals the stark contrast between the romanticized image of celebrity and the reality of the industry. The author describes attending parties where people feign friendship for the cameras, and witnessing how smiles disappear the moment the behind-the-scenes footage stops rolling. This disillusionment highlights the importance of separating fantasy from reality.

Redefining success. The author challenges the conventional definition of success, arguing that stepping back from the spotlight doesn't equate to failure. Instead, it can signify a conscious decision to prioritize art over numbers and perceived means of success. The author's journey underscores the importance of staying true to one's artistic vision, regardless of external pressures.

2. Authenticity Trumps Image

Instead of letting me find an image and a sound organically, they’d already created the brand around my name. Madison Beer was a character, and I was just a girl reading the script they’d already written for me.

The pressure to conform. The author recounts her early experiences in the music industry, where she felt pressured to fit into a pre-defined mold rather than being allowed to develop her own authentic image and sound. This pressure led to a sense of disconnect and a feeling of playing a character.

The cost of inauthenticity. The author describes the discomfort of singing songs she didn't connect with and performing in front of audiences she didn't feel aligned with. This inauthenticity created a growing divide between her public persona and her true self, leading to feelings of embarrassment and a desire to distance herself from the "Madison Beer" image.

Reclaiming identity. The author's journey involves a conscious effort to move away from the manufactured image and embrace her true self. This process includes writing her own music, becoming more involved in the production process, and making creative decisions that align with her personal values and artistic vision.

3. The Internet Isn't Reality

Ninety-nine percent of the time, the people spewing hatred online would never dare say it to my face.

The illusion of the mob. The author highlights the disparity between online and real-life interactions, noting that most people who express hatred online would never do so in person. This observation underscores the anonymity and lack of accountability that often fuel online negativity.

Perspective is paramount. The author shares a pivotal moment when her manager advised her to "go to the grocery store" to realize that the online world doesn't represent reality. This experience helped her understand that the vast majority of people are indifferent to her fame and that the negativity she encounters online is not reflective of the world at large.

The power of kindness. The author emphasizes the importance of kindness and empathy, arguing that words have power and should be used carefully. She encourages readers to consider the impact of their online interactions and to choose kindness over negativity.

4. Trauma Demands Acknowledgment

Trauma is distress without resolution.

Denial delays healing. The author initially resisted acknowledging the trauma she experienced, believing it was "nothing compared to what other people go through." However, she eventually realized that denying her trauma only prolonged her suffering.

Validation is vital. The author emphasizes the importance of validating one's own pain, regardless of how it compares to the experiences of others. She argues that acknowledging the wound is the first step toward healing.

Seeking professional help. The author's journey includes seeking therapy and medication, although she initially resisted both. She eventually came to recognize the value of professional help in processing her trauma and developing healthy coping mechanisms.

5. Misogyny's Lingering Shadow

If I was a boy, I would have been shielded from the consequences of my actions and allowed to move on from my mistake. But I was a girl, and I wasn’t allowed to be sexual, even when all of my friends were doing the same thing behind closed doors.

Double standards persist. The author reflects on the misogynistic attitudes that contributed to the backlash she faced after her private photos were leaked. She notes that if she had been a boy, she likely would have been shielded from the consequences and allowed to move on.

Sexual autonomy denied. The author argues that she was shamed for expressing any sort of sexual autonomy, even though she was simply exploring her sexuality in a way that is developmentally appropriate for adolescents. This shaming reinforced the message that women are not allowed to be sexual, even when their male peers are doing the same thing behind closed doors.

The need for protection. The author emphasizes that she should have been protected from the exploitation and shaming she experienced. She argues that the focus should have been on the person who leaked the photos, not on her for taking them in the first place.

6. Kindness is a Choice

Moral of the story: kindness is cool. You don’t need to send hate to someone just because you have a social media account.

Consequences of online actions. The author underscores that online actions have real-world consequences, and that it's crucial to be mindful of the impact of one's words. She challenges the notion that online interactions are somehow less important or less impactful than face-to-face interactions.

The power of empathy. The author encourages readers to practice empathy and to consider the perspective of others before leaving negative comments. She argues that it's easy to be bold online when you never have to take accountability for your actions, but that it's more difficult to be kind and compassionate.

Choosing kindness. The author emphasizes that kindness is a choice, and that it's always possible to choose to be kind, even in the face of negativity. She encourages readers to use their words carefully and to prioritize kindness over cruelty.

7. Anxiety is a Liar

Your anxiety is lying to you.

Challenging anxious thoughts. The author shares a favorite quote, "Your anxiety is lying to you," and encourages readers to keep a mental list of times when their anxiety has been proven wrong. This practice can help rewire the brain and combat the tendency to assume the worst.

Finding a healthy balance. The author emphasizes the importance of finding a healthy balance between challenging one's anxiety and pushing oneself into situations that are unmanageable. She encourages readers to seek out situations that stretch the boundaries of their comfort zone while also having a safe way out if things become too overwhelming.

Small victories matter. The author suggests setting small goals to prove to the brain and body that positive experiences can come from facing fears. These small victories can help retrain the brain from assuming that every new situation will end in the worst-case scenario.

8. Friendship is a Lifeline

Meeting her and bringing her into my life made me happy my attempt hadn’t been successful—as did so many things, once I started allowing myself to believe good things could happen for me again.

The power of connection. The author emphasizes the importance of having true and loving friends in one's life, describing her best friend, Lena, as a "guardian angel." She credits Lena with helping her through some of her darkest times and with showing her what genuine friendship and reciprocation feel like.

Reciprocity and support. The author highlights the importance of finding friends who are supportive, caring, and understanding. She argues that true friends will listen without judgment, offer empathy, and show up for you in times of need.

Friendship over fame. The author contrasts the superficiality of some of her earlier friendships with the depth and authenticity of her relationship with Lena. She emphasizes that genuine connection is more valuable than fame or popularity.

9. Healing Isn't Linear

Healing isn’t linear.

Ups and downs are normal. The author emphasizes that recovery is not a straight path and that it's normal to experience setbacks and challenges along the way. She encourages readers to be patient with themselves and to avoid getting discouraged by bad days or weeks.

Building a toolkit. The author argues that "getting better" isn't about preventing negative emotions, but about building a toolkit of coping mechanisms to handle the lows. This toolkit might include therapy, medication, mindfulness practices, or simply spending time with loved ones.

Self-compassion is key. The author encourages readers to practice self-compassion and to avoid beating themselves up for experiencing setbacks. She emphasizes that healing is a process, not a destination, and that it's important to be kind to oneself along the way.

10. You Are More Than Your Struggles

I’m a work in progress, and I always will be.

Defining yourself. The author emphasizes that she is more than her struggles, her diagnosis, or her past mistakes. She encourages readers to define themselves by their values, their passions, and their relationships, rather than by their challenges.

Continuous growth. The author acknowledges that she is a "work in progress" and that she will always be learning and growing. She encourages readers to embrace this mindset and to view life as a journey of continuous self-discovery.

Finding purpose. The author's journey involves finding purpose in helping others and in using her platform to advocate for mental health awareness. She encourages readers to find their own purpose and to use their experiences to make a positive impact on the world.

Last updated: April 23, 2025