The Leader Assistant

1. Embody the Essential and Game-Changing Characteristics of a Leader Assistant

Assistant, you are a leader.

Leadership is an act. Leadership isn't tied to title, power, or salary; it's a practice of taking care of those around you and making the world better for them. Assistants, regardless of rank, possess the capacity to lead through strength, integrity, gratitude, patience, empathy, and generosity. You carry a heavy load, expected to "make things happen" even when others fail, but within this lies the power to choose leadership.

Essential qualities are foundational. Every effective assistant needs core traits like being proactive, responsive, loyal, trustworthy, others-centered, sociable, organized, flexible, assertive, focused, detail-oriented, and having strong communication skills. These are the baseline, the "hard pack" trail of the profession. However, mastering only these won't make you a game changer; they are the warm-up, not the main event.

Game-changing traits elevate impact. To truly lead and conquer career "glaciers," cultivate characteristics that set you apart. These include being discerning (showing good judgment, anticipating needs, making decisions), steady (calm in storms, enjoying the process, embracing tension), confident (deep-rooted, humble belief in your ability), humble (admitting mistakes, receiving criticism, thinking of yourself less), and future-proof (adapting to change, leveraging technology).

2. Master Time and Task Management to Conquer Interruptions

Time management starts with data, not feelings.

Examine and evaluate time. To manage time effectively, first understand where it actually goes. Track your activities for several weeks to get real data, not just a feeling. Then, evaluate which tasks drain you and which energize you, identifying areas for potential change or elimination.

Envision, eliminate, empower. Define your goals (work and life) to envision where your time should go. Ruthlessly eliminate tasks that don't align with your goals or job description, asking if they are necessary or can be automated. For tasks that remain but aren't essential for you to do, empower others by delegating them, setting clear deadlines, and scheduling follow-ups.

Manage interruptions intentionally. The constant barrage of pings, emails, and requests is a major time drain.

• Establish a strict morning routine that doesn't start with email.
• Block off specific times for checking email and turn off notifications otherwise.
• Use a simple task system (like email or a spreadsheet) and file incoming requests consistently ("Can you please email me?").
• Tackle one task at a time, especially daunting ones.
• Learn to say "no" by saying "yes, I'll look into that" to buy time for evaluation.

3. Control Your Executive's Calendar Strategically with an Ideal Week

Your executive’s most valuable asset is their time, and you’re tasked with managing that asset.

The calendar is a strategic tool. Don't let your executive's calendar passively fill up with requests; manage it actively. A calendar dictated by others leads to decision fatigue, unproductive meetings, and burnout. Your role is to protect their time and ensure it aligns with their priorities and energy levels.

Implement the Ideal Week. Create a structured calendar that blocks out time for different activities, not just meetings.

• Dedicate specific blocks for focus time, meetings, breaks, reading, etc.
• Agree with your executive on what constitutes a true emergency that can interrupt focus time.
• Use this structure as a guide for scheduling, directing invites into predetermined slots.
• Start with a draft (spreadsheet, whiteboard) and refine it based on your executive's preferences and energy patterns.

Track and analyze time usage. Gather data on how your executive spends their time (e.g., internal vs. external meetings, project time).

• This provides objective insights for strategic decisions and reordering priorities.
• It helps you stay honest about how well you're adhering to the Ideal Week structure.
• Tools (like Zapier workflows or dedicated software) can automate this process, saving significant manual effort.

4. Lead Meetings and Communication with Clarity and Intentionality

It’s not what your title is, it’s how you influence others.

Meetings require structure. Avoid pointless meetings by ensuring every gathering, especially your one-on-one with your executive, has a clear agenda. Send the agenda in advance and use a simple system (like a two-column sheet) to track discussion points and action items. Follow up promptly with clear action items, owners, and deadlines.

Streamline scheduling. Take control of scheduling to protect your executive's time and align with their Ideal Week.

• Never let your executive schedule meetings themselves; provide them with templates to direct requests to you.
• When initiating scheduling, offer 3-5 specific date/time options and suggest a location upfront. This saves back-and-forth emails and ensures meetings fit their preferred schedule and location.

Master communication styles. Effective communication involves more than just avoiding typos; it requires understanding context and adapting your style.

• Pay attention to written (formatting, proofreading), verbal (enunciation, tone), and nonverbal cues (body language).
• Identify your communication style (Analytical, Intuitive, Functional, Personal) and your executive's style to bridge gaps and improve understanding.
• Priority-rank communication methods (phone for urgent, email for non-urgent) with your executive to manage expectations and reduce distractions.

5. Invest in Continuous Professional Development to Stay Relevant

The second you think you don’t have room to grow is the second you become replaceable.

Own your growth. Professional development isn't just about achieving outcomes like a promotion; it's about becoming a more capable Leader Assistant. Don't wait for others to invest in you; take ownership of your learning journey. This is crucial for long-term sustainability and avoiding stagnation.

Diverse learning methods. Seek out various avenues for growth beyond just assistant-specific training.

• Read books on communication, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and your industry. Read what your executive reads.
• Attend webinars, online courses, and conferences, including those your executive attends.
• Connect with other assistants through networking to share knowledge and experiences.

Leverage your commute. Turn wasted time into valuable learning opportunities.

• Listen to audiobooks or podcasts related to professional or personal growth.
• Use the time for reflection or meditation.
• Be intentional about how you use this time, whether for learning or decompressing.

Advocate for paid training. Many companies invest heavily in executive development but overlook assistants.

• Put together a clear proposal outlining the training, its cost, and the specific benefits (ROI) it will bring to your executive and the company.
• Be specific about what you will learn and how it will improve your job performance and capacity.
• Ask at the right time (e.g., during budget planning, after company success) and be willing to start small if a large request is denied.

6. Own Your Career: Set Goals, Negotiate Compensation, Build Your Resume

True Leader Assistants own their career development and know how to articulate their value to the organization.

Set strategic goals. Your goals should align with the organization's mission and your executive's objectives, be challenging yet achievable, and pass the SMART test (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-based). Discuss drafted goals with your executive to gain buy-in and support.

Articulate your value. Don't just list tasks; speak about your work using values-based language that highlights the impact you make.

• Avoid vague statements like "I get things done."
• Instead of "I organized the supply closet," say "I increased efficiency and saved the department money by organizing the supply closet."
• Be prepared and specific in performance conversations, leading discussions on progress, roadblocks, and needed support.

Negotiate for your worth. Asking for a raise is uncomfortable but necessary.

• Build a compelling business case:
  • Cover letter expressing loyalty and value.
  • Original job description vs. current responsibilities.
  • Updated resume highlighting achievements.
  • Kudos and performance reviews.
  • Market data supporting your desired compensation.
• Never accept a verbal offer; always get it in writing.
• Take advantage of a strong economy and understand your company's compensation structure (levels, titles).

7. Build a Powerful Professional Network Before You Need It

No one, not even your best friend, has the ability to understand what we (assistants) go through.

Combat isolation through connection. The assistant role can be lonely, even in a busy office. Building a strong network of other assistants provides understanding, support, and valuable career opportunities. Don't wait until you're on a "career glacier" to start networking.

Be a generous networker. Focus on how you can help others in your network, rather than what you can get from them.

• Listen, offer advice, suggest tools, make introductions, share content.
• Add value to online communities (LinkedIn, Slack, Facebook) and attend local or virtual events.
• Help others without keeping score; genuine generosity builds trust and a high-quality network.

Network effectively as an introvert. Networking doesn't require being an extrovert; it requires intentionality.

• Start small: Focus on meeting a few people at events or scheduling one-on-one coffee chats.
• Prepare go-to questions to initiate conversations.
• Know your limits and give yourself permission to step away when needed to avoid burnout.
• Focus on connecting at a deeper level rather than just small talk.

Leverage LinkedIn strategically. LinkedIn is a powerful tool for building your assistant network.

• Reach out to assistants locally and globally with personalized messages.
• Engage thoughtfully in online discussions and post your own insights.
• Optimize your profile visibility (picture, summary, experience) and consider switching your "Connect" button to "Follow" to grow your reach.

8. Navigate Executive Relationships as a Strategic Guide, Not Just a Hero

You are the guide in your executive’s journey.

Be the Yoda, not the Luke. Frame your role as the guide who helps your executive (the hero) succeed, rather than seeing yourself as the sole hero saving the day. Your value lies in empowering them to win, which ultimately leads to your shared success. This perspective shifts the focus from your accomplishments to how you enable theirs.

Prioritize open communication. Just like resolving conflicts with LEGOs, clear and open dialogue is crucial for a productive executive partnership.

• Regularly schedule dedicated one-on-one time to discuss priorities, challenges, and goals.
• Ask clarifying questions frequently to anticipate needs and ensure alignment on the "why" behind tasks. Questions are a sign of leadership, not weakness.

Ask impactful questions. Don't be afraid to ask your executive questions that foster vulnerability and strategic alignment.

• "What's one thing I could do to make your job less stressful this week?"
• "In what ways do I frustrate you? How would you recommend I change?"
• "What's my greatest strength? Do you believe this strength is being utilized?"
• "Is there a task or project you're working on that I could take care of?"
• "Could we rearrange our calendars to make things easier, more enjoyable, and more productive for you?"

Learn to say no and delegate results. Confidently push back when tasks don't align with priorities or when your executive micromanages.

• Help your executive understand their motivations for micromanaging (control, need for completion, perceived need for excellence).
• Encourage them to delegate results (the "why") and trust you to figure out the "what" and "how."
• If an executive is resistant or abusive (including through avoidance), recognize when it's time to seek mediation or move on.

9. Cultivate Healthy Coworker Relationships and a Culture of Accountability

Leader Assistants treat everyone with dignity.

Build professional friendships. While keeping your closest friends outside of work can protect you from workplace drama, cultivate friendly and professional relationships with coworkers. Be generous, caring, and show genuine interest in their lives (dogs, kids, etc.).

Listen and connect across departments. Engage with coworkers from all levels and departments to understand the company culture, identify pain points, and gather insights. Ask them what they like about working there, what they would change, and how you can help.

Contribute to a culture of accountability. Lead by example by owning your mistakes, even taking responsibility for things that weren't entirely your fault. Encourage others, including your executive, to apologize and make things right when they mess up.

• This builds trust, integrity, and transparency within the team and organization.
• Don't be afraid to gently call out inappropriate behavior or lack of accountability, especially if you have your executive's ear.

Treat everyone with dignity. Regardless of someone's role or title (from the CEO to the janitor), treat them with respect. Simple acts like remembering names, making eye contact, and engaging in brief, genuine conversations contribute to a positive and humanizing workplace environment.

10. Recognize and Resist the Dehumanizing Aspects of the Assistant Role

I felt less like a valuable human and more like a robot.

Understand the source of dehumanization. The assistant role can feel dehumanizing when people primarily see you as a tool to access your executive, rather than as an individual. This can happen when:

• People only ask about your executive, not you.
• Your "friends" change based on whom you support.
• Coworkers introduce guests to your executive but not you.
• Executives are abusive, disrespectful, or fail to acknowledge your presence.

People are drawn to power. Recognize that some individuals are motivated
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Last updated: June 8, 2025