The Life You've Always Wanted

1. Embrace the Possibility of Transformation

"Now, with God's help, I shall become myself." - Søren Kierkegaard

Spiritual transformation is real. The Christian gospel insists that profound change in human personality is possible. This transformation is not easy or quick, but it is achievable. It begins when people become intensely serious about learning from Jesus how to arrange their lives.

The goal is Christlikeness. Spiritual growth means learning to live as Jesus would if he were in our place. It involves perceiving what Jesus would perceive, thinking what he would think, feeling what he would feel, and doing what he would do. This transformation touches every aspect of our lives, from our thoughts and emotions to our actions and relationships.

Overcoming disappointment is key. Many people live with a nagging sense that all is not as it should be. This disappointment can be a starting point for transformation. By acknowledging our shortcomings and embracing the possibility of change, we open ourselves to God's transforming work in our lives.

2. Move Beyond Balance to a Well-Ordered Heart

"Purity of heart is to will one thing." - Søren Kierkegaard

Balance is not enough. While many people seek a balanced lifestyle, this goal is often too slight. It can lead to compartmentalizing our faith and fails to capture the sense of compelling urgency worthy of human devotion.

Pursue a well-ordered heart. Instead of balance, we should seek what Augustine called a "well-ordered heart." This means learning to love:

• The right thing
• To the right degree
• In the right way
• With the right kind of love

Develop a "rule of life." To pursue a well-ordered heart, create a personal "rule of life" - a set of practices and commitments that help order your daily life around growing in Christlikeness. This might include rhythms of prayer, Bible study, service, and other spiritual disciplines tailored to your unique personality and circumstances.

3. Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry from Your Life

"Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. Hurry can destroy our souls. Hurry can keep us from living well."

Hurry sickness is pervasive. Many people suffer from what might be called "hurry sickness" - a constant state of rush and busyness that leaves no room for rest, reflection, or meaningful relationships. This hurried state is incompatible with spiritual growth and the life God intends for us.

Practice slowing. To combat hurry, we must intentionally cultivate slowness in our lives. This might involve:

• Driving in the slow lane
• Choosing the longest checkout line
• Eating slowly
• Taking a day off from wearing a watch

Solitude is essential. Regular times of solitude are crucial for eliminating hurry and cultivating spiritual growth. Jesus frequently withdrew to quiet places for prayer and reflection. We must do the same if we want to live at Jesus' unhurried pace.

4. Practice Celebration as a Spiritual Discipline

"Joy is the serious business of heaven." - C.S. Lewis

Joy is central to God's character. God is the happiest being in the universe. His intent was for his creation to mirror his joy. As products of God's creation, we are meant to reflect God's fierce joy in life.

Celebration is a spiritual discipline. Just as fasting or prayer are spiritual disciplines, so too is celebration. It involves intentionally engaging in activities that bring pleasure - gathering with loved ones, eating and drinking, singing and dancing - while reflecting on the wonderful God who has given us such gifts.

Cultivate joy strategically. To grow in joy:

• Begin now, embracing each day as a gift
• Find a "joy mentor" - someone who consistently exudes joy
• Set aside a weekly "Dee Dah Day" filled with pleasant things
• Unplug from technology regularly to engage more fully with life
• View life from a biblical perspective, seeing all events in light of God's ultimate triumph

5. Cultivate Freedom Through Secrecy and Servanthood

"More than any other single way the grace of humility is worked into our lives through the Discipline of service."

Practice secrecy. Jesus taught us to do good deeds in secret, without seeking recognition. This practice helps free us from the need for others' approval and allows us to act purely out of love for God and others.

Embrace servanthood. Following Jesus' example of servanthood helps break our addiction to pride and self-importance. Look for opportunities to serve others, especially in ways that don't bring recognition or status.

Seek appropriate smallness. True humility involves embracing our "appropriate smallness" - recognizing our place in relation to God and others. This frees us from the burden of trying to be more than we are and allows us to find joy in serving others.

6. Engage in Intentional Bible Reflection

"The goal is not for us to get through the Scriptures. The goal is to get the Scriptures through us."

Scripture transforms our minds. The Bible is not just a source of information, but a means of transformation. Regular engagement with Scripture can renew our minds and shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions to be more like Christ's.

Practice meditation. Don't just read the Bible; meditate on it. This involves:

• Reading slowly and reflectively
• Focusing on short passages
• Using your imagination to enter into the text
• Asking how God might be speaking to you through the passage

Apply Scripture to daily life. Take one thought or verse with you through the day, continually returning to it and considering how it applies to your circumstances. This helps the Word of God penetrate deeply into your life.

7. Develop Endurance Through Suffering

"Suffering always changes us, but it does not necessarily change us for the better."

Suffering can produce growth. While painful, suffering can be a powerful means of spiritual formation. It can develop perseverance, deepen our faith, and make us more like Christ.

Endure with faith. The key to benefiting from suffering is to endure it with faith. This doesn't mean we never doubt or question, but that we remain obedient and continue to trust God even when we don't understand.

Start with small trials. We can prepare for larger sufferings by learning to endure small trials with grace. Practice patience and trust in the minor irritations of daily life, and you'll be better equipped to face major challenges.

8. Train, Don't Just Try, for Spiritual Growth

"There is an immense difference between training to do something and trying to do something."

Spiritual growth requires training. Just as an athlete must train to compete effectively, we must train to live the Christian life. Willpower alone is not enough; we need to arrange our lives around practices that enable us to do what we cannot do by direct effort.

Identify barriers and solutions. To train effectively:

1. Understand clearly what it means to live in the kingdom of God
2. Learn what particular barriers keep you from living this kind of life
3. Discover what practices, experiences, or relationships can help you overcome these barriers

Tailor your training. Your spiritual training should be personalized to your unique temperament, gifts, and season of life. What works for someone else may not work for you, so be willing to experiment and adjust your practices as needed.

9. Listen for the Guidance of the Holy Spirit

"History belongs to the intercessors — those who believe and pray the future into being."

God speaks today. The Holy Spirit offers guidance to ordinary people in everyday life. Learning to recognize and respond to this guidance is crucial for spiritual growth.

Cultivate attentiveness. To hear God's voice:

• Ask God to meet you in Scripture
• Practice being fully present in each moment
• Look for God's activity in your daily life
• Spend time in silence and solitude

Respond obediently. Guidance only makes sense for people who are resolved to respond. Be willing to act on what you believe God is saying, even when it's difficult or doesn't make sense from a human perspective.

10. Pursue Authentic Change, Not Pseudo-Transformation

"We are called to do nothing less than to experience day by day what Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus: 'But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.'"

Avoid boundary-marker spirituality. Don't settle for a form of spirituality that focuses on external markers of religious identity. Instead, pursue a faith that transforms your heart and character.

Embrace confession and grace. Regular confession of sin is essential for authentic transformation. This isn't about wallowing in guilt, but about experiencing the healing and freedom that comes through God's grace.

Measure growth by love. The true indicator of spiritual well-being is growth in the ability to love God and people. All other measures of spirituality should be secondary to this central goal.

Last updated: January 23, 2025