The Mom Test

1. Ask good questions to get real insights, not just compliments

The Mom Test: Talk about their life instead of your idea, ask about specifics in the past instead of generics or opinions about the future, and talk less and listen more.

Avoid biasing questions. When talking to potential customers, focus on their lives, problems, and past behaviors rather than your idea. This approach prevents people from giving you false positives or trying to protect your feelings. Instead of asking "Would you buy this?" ask about their current solutions, frustrations, and decision-making processes.

Use specific examples. Anchor conversations in concrete past experiences rather than hypothetical futures. For instance, ask "When was the last time you encountered this problem?" or "Walk me through how you currently handle this situation." This provides more reliable data about their actual needs and behaviors.

Good questions:

• "How are you dealing with X now?"
• "Talk me through the last time that happened."
• "What else have you tried?"
  Bad questions:
• "Do you think it's a good idea?"
• "Would you buy a product which did X?"
• "How much would you pay for X?"

2. Avoid bad data: compliments, fluff, and ideas

Compliments are the fool's gold of customer learning: shiny, distracting, and entirely worthless.

Recognize and deflect compliments. Compliments feel good but provide no real data. When someone says they like your idea, it doesn't mean they'll actually use or pay for it. Instead of accepting compliments, redirect the conversation back to learning about their problems and behaviors.

Beware of fluff and hypotheticals. Generic claims, future-tense promises, and hypothetical maybes are unreliable. People are overly optimistic about what they might do in the future. Focus on what they're actually doing now to solve their problems.

Types of bad data to avoid:

• Compliments: "That's cool, I love it!"
• Fluff: "I would definitely buy that."
• Ideas: Feature requests without understanding the underlying problem

3. Focus on important questions that could make or break your business

Every time you talk to someone, you should be asking a question which has the potential to completely destroy your currently imagined business.

Identify critical questions. Before each conversation, determine the 3 most important things you need to learn. These should be questions that could potentially invalidate your business idea or dramatically change your approach.

Face the scary questions. Don't shy away from asking about potential deal-breakers, such as budget constraints, decision-making processes, or competing solutions. It's better to uncover these issues early rather than after you've invested significant time and resources.

Examples of important questions:

• "Where does the budget for this come from?"
• "Who else would need to be involved in the decision?"
• "What are the implications if this problem isn't solved?"

4. Keep conversations casual to get genuine responses

Learning about a customer and their problems works better as a quick and casual chat than a long, formal meeting.

Avoid formal meetings when possible. Casual conversations often yield more genuine and valuable insights. People are more likely to open up and share their real thoughts in a relaxed setting.

Seize everyday opportunities. Look for chances to have relevant conversations in your daily life, such as at industry events, conferences, or even social gatherings. This approach allows you to gather insights without the pressure of a formal meeting.

Tips for keeping it casual:

• Start with general small talk before diving into your questions
• Ask about their work or interests related to your product area
• Use natural segues to introduce your key questions
• Keep the conversation flowing like a normal chat, not an interview

5. Seek commitment and advancement to validate interest

If you don't know what happens next after a product or sales meeting, the meeting was pointless.

Push for concrete next steps. At the end of each conversation, aim for a clear commitment or advancement. This could be a follow-up meeting, an introduction to a decision-maker, or even a pre-order.

Recognize real interest. True validation comes from people giving up something valuable, such as time, money, or reputation. Mere compliments or vague promises of future interest are not reliable indicators.

Types of commitment to look for:

• Time: Agreeing to a product demo or trial
• Reputation: Introducing you to their team or boss
• Money: Pre-orders, letters of intent, or deposits

6. Find the right customers to talk to

If you aren't finding consistent problems and goals, you don't yet have a specific enough customer segment.

Define your ideal customer. Be as specific as possible about who your product is for. This helps you focus your conversations and get more consistent, actionable feedback.

Use customer slicing. Start with a broad group and keep narrowing it down until you have a specific, reachable segment. Consider factors like demographics, motivations, and current behaviors.

Questions for customer slicing:

• Who within this group would want it most?
• Why do they want it?
• What are they already doing to solve this problem?
• Where can we find these people?

7. Segment your market to avoid drowning in options

When you have a fuzzy sense of who you're serving, you end up talking to a lot of different types of people, which leads to confusing signals.

Start specific, then expand. It's easier to serve a narrow market well and expand later than to try serving everyone from the beginning. This focused approach allows you to create a product that truly resonates with a specific group.

Look for consistent feedback. If you're getting wildly different responses from your conversations, it's likely your customer segment is too broad. Keep narrowing until you find a group with consistent problems and goals.

Benefits of proper segmentation:

• Clearer marketing messages
• More focused product development
• Easier to find and reach potential customers
• More consistent and actionable feedback

8. Prepare, review, and take good notes for effective customer conversations

If you don't know what you're trying to learn, you shouldn't bother having the conversation.

Prepare before each conversation. Know your current top 3 questions and any specific hypotheses you want to test. Do basic research on the person or company you're meeting to avoid wasting time on obvious questions.

Take detailed, structured notes. Use a consistent system to capture key information, such as pain points, goals, and specific quotes. This makes it easier to review and share insights with your team later.

Review and update regularly. After each conversation, review your notes with your team. Update your understanding of customer needs and adjust your top questions as needed.

Key elements to include in your notes:

• Exact quotes (use quotation marks)
• Emotional reactions
• Pain points and goals
• Current solutions and workarounds
• Specific names or companies mentioned
• Follow-up tasks or commitments

9. Involve your whole team in the learning process

Owning the customer conversations creates a de-facto dictator with "The customer said so" as the ultimate trump card.

Avoid learning bottlenecks. Don't let customer insights get stuck with one person. Involve the whole founding team, including technical members, in customer conversations and the learning process.

Share insights promptly and faithfully. Use your notes and exact quotes to disseminate learnings to your team as quickly as possible. This keeps everyone aligned and leads to better decision-making.

Ways to involve your team:

• Bring different team members to customer meetings
• Hold regular review sessions to discuss insights
• Share detailed notes and key takeaways after each conversation
• Encourage team members to ask questions and challenge assumptions

Last updated: January 22, 2025