The Person You Mean to Be

1. Activate a Growth Mindset to Become a Better Person

"I was exploring my past, my upbringing, my biases, and I was discovering that I was not as blameless and progressive as I imagined."

Growth mindset is key. A growth mindset allows us to view ourselves as works-in-progress rather than fixed entities. This perspective enables us to learn from mistakes, accept feedback, and continually improve our understanding of bias and privilege.

Embrace discomfort and learning. By acknowledging our imperfections and biases, we open ourselves up to growth. This process can be uncomfortable, but it's essential for personal development and becoming a better ally to marginalized groups.

• Benefits of a growth mindset:
  • Increased willingness to learn from mistakes
  • Greater resilience in the face of challenges
  • Improved ability to empathize with others
  • Enhanced capacity for personal growth and change

2. Recognize and Leverage Your Ordinary Privilege

"Ordinary privilege is the part of our everyday identity we think least about, because we do not need to."

Understand your privilege. Ordinary privilege refers to the advantages we have in society that we often take for granted. These can be based on race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or other factors. Recognizing these privileges is the first step in using them to create positive change.

Use privilege responsibly. Once we're aware of our privileges, we can leverage them to amplify marginalized voices, challenge unfair systems, and create more inclusive environments. This doesn't mean feeling guilty about our advantages, but rather using them constructively to benefit others.

• Ways to leverage ordinary privilege:
  • Speak up against discrimination when you witness it
  • Use your platform to amplify marginalized voices
  • Advocate for inclusive policies in your workplace or community
  • Educate yourself and others about systemic inequalities

3. Choose Willful Awareness Over Willful Ignorance

"Once you see it, you can't unsee it."

Actively seek knowledge. Willful awareness involves intentionally educating ourselves about issues of bias, discrimination, and systemic inequality. This contrasts with willful ignorance, where we choose to remain uninformed about uncomfortable truths.

Challenge your assumptions. By consciously choosing to be aware, we can start to recognize and challenge our own biases and assumptions. This process can be uncomfortable but is crucial for personal growth and becoming a more effective ally.

• Steps to practice willful awareness:
  • Seek out diverse perspectives in media and literature
  • Listen to and believe the experiences of marginalized groups
  • Reflect on your own biases and blind spots
  • Stay informed about social justice issues and current events

4. Be Inclusive in Everyday Interactions

"Meetings are filled with 'thousands of moments' that reflect the culture of an organization and the culture of more or less inclusion."

Small actions matter. Inclusion isn't just about big policies or initiatives; it's about the countless small interactions we have every day. By being mindful of how we conduct ourselves in meetings, conversations, and daily interactions, we can create a more inclusive environment.

Practice active inclusion. This means consciously ensuring that all voices are heard, all perspectives are valued, and everyone feels welcome and respected. It requires ongoing effort and attention to detail, but can significantly impact the experiences of marginalized individuals.

• Strategies for inclusive behavior:
  • Ensure everyone has a chance to speak in meetings
  • Acknowledge and credit ideas from all team members
  • Use inclusive language that doesn't assume gender, ability, or background
  • Be aware of and address microaggressions when they occur

5. Steer Conversations Towards Positive Change

"We are always forming a narrative of how the world works."

Shape the narrative. The conversations we have and the stories we tell shape our understanding of the world. By consciously steering conversations towards topics of equality, inclusion, and social justice, we can influence the narratives in our social circles and beyond.

Use your platform responsibly. Whether it's social media, workplace discussions, or family gatherings, we all have platforms where we can influence others. Use these opportunities to promote inclusive thinking and challenge harmful stereotypes or biases.

• Ways to steer conversations:
  • Share diverse stories and perspectives in your social media
  • Bring up social justice topics in relevant workplace discussions
  • Challenge biased statements or jokes in social settings
  • Recommend inclusive media (books, movies, TV shows) to others

6. Educate and Confront Others Effectively

"Saying something does matter."

Speak up strategically. When we witness bias or discrimination, it's important to speak up. However, how we do this matters. The goal should be to educate and create change, not to shame or alienate others.

Use the 20/60/20 rule. When addressing bias, focus on the 60% in the middle who are open to learning. The top 20% are already allies, while the bottom 20% are unlikely to change their views. By targeting the middle 60%, we can have the most impact.

• Effective confrontation strategies:
  • Use "I" statements to express how the behavior affects you
  • Ask questions to understand the other person's perspective
  • Provide information and alternative viewpoints
  • Focus on the behavior, not the person
  • Be prepared with facts and personal stories

7. Show Meaningful Support to Marginalized Groups

"Even if we do not want to be the heat, we do not need to rely on only heat to do all of the work. We can try to understand their work and support it."

Support goes beyond words. Meaningful support involves actively listening, learning, and taking concrete actions to help marginalized groups. It's not about being a savior, but about being a genuine ally who stands alongside those fighting for equality.

Recognize different roles. Not everyone needs to be on the front lines of protests or activism. There are many ways to support marginalized groups, from educating ourselves and others, to donating to causes, to using our privileges to amplify marginalized voices.

• Ways to show meaningful support:
  • Listen to and believe the experiences of marginalized individuals
  • Educate yourself about the issues facing different communities
  • Use your platform to amplify marginalized voices
  • Donate time or resources to organizations fighting for equality
  • Stand up against discrimination in your daily life

Last updated: January 24, 2025