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The Soul of Sex

The Soul of Sex

Cultivating Life as an Act of Love
by Thomas Moore 1999 336 pages
3.94
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Sex is a profound spiritual and soulful experience, not merely physical

Sex takes us into a world of intense passions, sensual touch, exciting fantasies, many levels of meaning, and subtle emotions.

Soul in sexuality. Sex is not just a physical act, but a deeply spiritual and soulful experience. It engages our entire being - body, mind, and spirit. This holistic view of sexuality allows us to appreciate its profound impact on our lives and relationships.

Multifaceted nature of sex. Sex involves:

  • Intense emotions and passions
  • Sensual physical experiences
  • Rich fantasies and imagination
  • Multiple layers of meaning
  • Subtle emotional connections

By recognizing these diverse aspects, we can cultivate a more fulfilling and meaningful sexual life that nourishes our whole being.

2. The body is an expression of the soul, revealed through our senses

Unless we have lost imagination completely, when we look at the body we are seeing the soul, and when we have sex, we experience the body as a way to the most penetrating mysteries of the soul.

Body as soul's expression. Our physical bodies are not separate from our souls but are in fact manifestations of our inner selves. This perspective encourages us to honor and appreciate our bodies as sacred vessels of our spiritual essence.

Senses as gateways to the soul. Our senses play a crucial role in experiencing the soul through the body:

  • Sight: Appreciating the beauty and uniqueness of each person's form
  • Touch: Feeling the energy and emotions beneath the skin
  • Smell: Connecting with primal instincts and memories
  • Taste: Savoring the essence of another being
  • Hearing: Tuning into the rhythms and vibrations of life

By fully engaging our senses during sexual experiences, we open ourselves to deeper connections with our partners and our own souls.

3. Mythological figures offer insights into different aspects of sexuality

Each god loves according to his fashion.

Archetypes of sexuality. Mythological figures represent various facets of human sexuality, providing a rich tapestry of sexual expression and understanding. By exploring these archetypes, we can gain insight into our own sexual nature and desires.

Examples of sexual archetypes:

  • Aphrodite: Love, beauty, and sensuality
  • Artemis: Independence and chastity
  • Dionysus: Ecstasy and abandon
  • Hera: Commitment and fidelity
  • Pan: Primal instincts and lust

Understanding these archetypes allows us to embrace the diverse aspects of our sexuality and recognize that different expressions of love and desire are valid and meaningful.

4. Marriage and long-term relationships deepen sexual experiences

Sex is the religion of a marriage. It is its contemplation, its ritual, its prayer, and its communion.

Sacred union. Marriage and long-term relationships provide a unique context for sexual experiences to deepen and evolve over time. The commitment and intimacy fostered in these relationships create a sacred space for sexual exploration and growth.

Elements of marital sexuality:

  • Ritual: Developing shared sexual practices and traditions
  • Contemplation: Reflecting on the meaning and significance of sexual union
  • Prayer: Connecting with something greater through intimate experiences
  • Communion: Joining together in body, mind, and spirit

By viewing sex as a central, sacred aspect of marriage, couples can cultivate a rich and meaningful sexual life that strengthens their bond and supports their individual growth.

5. Fantasy and imagination play crucial roles in our erotic lives

The soul's sexuality is so often incompatible in literal terms with the life situation.

Power of imagination. Our fantasies and imaginative life play a vital role in our sexuality, often extending beyond the boundaries of our lived experiences. Embracing this aspect of our erotic nature can lead to a more fulfilling and expansive sexual life.

Functions of sexual fantasy:

  • Exploring desires and curiosities safely
  • Processing emotions and experiences
  • Connecting with archetypal energies
  • Transcending physical limitations
  • Enhancing intimacy and pleasure in real-life encounters

By honoring our fantasies and cultivating our erotic imagination, we can enrich our sexual experiences and deepen our understanding of ourselves and our desires.

6. Celibacy and chastity can be forms of sexual expression

Celibacy means enjoying the spirit of not being sexually active.

Redefining sexual expression. Celibacy and chastity are often viewed as the absence of sexuality, but they can be powerful forms of sexual expression in their own right. These practices can cultivate a deep sense of self-awareness and spiritual connection.

Benefits of celibacy and chastity:

  • Focusing sexual energy inward for personal growth
  • Developing non-sexual forms of intimacy
  • Exploring spiritual dimensions of sexuality
  • Cultivating self-control and discipline
  • Appreciating sensuality in everyday experiences

By recognizing the value of celibacy and chastity, we can expand our understanding of sexuality and appreciate its diverse expressions.

7. Our environment and everyday experiences shape our sexuality

If we could recover a sense of the holiness of eros and its creative, divine place in the nature of things, we might see how absurdly small our view of sex has been, and we might reinstate it without moralism at the center of life, where it can offer vitality and intimacy of unrivaled power.

Holistic sexuality. Our sexual nature is not confined to the bedroom but is influenced by and expressed through our entire lived experience. Recognizing this interconnectedness can lead to a richer, more integrated sexual life.

Environmental factors shaping sexuality:

  • Architecture and urban design
  • Natural landscapes and gardens
  • Art and aesthetics in public spaces
  • Food and culinary experiences
  • Social interactions and cultural norms

By cultivating awareness of how our environment and daily experiences influence our sexuality, we can create more intentional, sensual, and fulfilling lives.

8. Sex has a sublime, transcendent quality that connects us to life's mysteries

Sex keeps us connected to our deepest natures and links us to our roots. In that way it expands the source from which we live our lives.

Transcendent nature of sex. Sexual experiences have the potential to connect us with something greater than ourselves, offering glimpses into life's profound mysteries. This transcendent quality of sex can be a source of deep meaning and spiritual growth.

Aspects of sexual transcendence:

  • Experiencing timelessness and unity
  • Connecting with primal life forces
  • Accessing altered states of consciousness
  • Feeling a sense of the sacred or divine
  • Gaining insights into the nature of existence

By approaching sex with an openness to its transcendent potential, we can deepen our connection to life's mysteries and our own spiritual nature.

9. Cultivating erotic intelligence enhances our sexual and overall well-being

Erotic intelligence begins with familiarity with one's own soul—with its strong desires and inclinations, its cycles and phases.

Developing erotic wisdom. Erotic intelligence involves understanding and honoring our deepest desires, cultivating self-awareness, and making choices that align with our authentic sexual nature. This approach can lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences and greater overall well-being.

Components of erotic intelligence:

  • Self-awareness of desires and boundaries
  • Emotional literacy and communication skills
  • Understanding of sexual cycles and rhythms
  • Ability to navigate complex relationship dynamics
  • Integration of sexuality with other aspects of life

By developing our erotic intelligence, we can make more informed choices about our sexual lives and cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections with ourselves and others.

10. An epicurean approach to pleasure enriches our sexual and daily lives

Happiness now.

Embracing pleasure. Adopting an epicurean philosophy towards pleasure can enhance both our sexual experiences and our overall quality of life. This approach emphasizes finding joy and contentment in simple pleasures and living in the present moment.

Principles of epicurean pleasure:

  • Savoring sensual experiences mindfully
  • Cultivating tranquility and peace of mind
  • Embracing moderation and balance
  • Prioritizing meaningful relationships
  • Finding beauty and joy in everyday moments

By incorporating these principles into our lives, we can create a more sensual, satisfying, and harmonious existence that honors the pleasures of both body and soul.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.94 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Soul of Sex receives mixed reviews, with ratings ranging from 1 to 5 stars. Many readers appreciate Moore's philosophical approach to sexuality, exploring its connection to spirituality, mythology, and everyday life. Some find the book insightful and transformative, praising its expansive view of eroticism. However, others criticize it as vague, repetitive, and lacking concrete examples. The book's focus on mythology and abstract concepts frustrates some readers, while others find it enlightening. Overall, the book seems to resonate more with those familiar with Moore's writing style and philosophical approach.

Your rating:

About the Author

Thomas Moore is a bestselling author known for his books on spirituality and soul-centered living. With a diverse background as a monk, musician, professor, and psychotherapist, Moore holds multiple degrees in religion, music, and theology. He lectures widely on holistic medicine, spirituality, and the arts, particularly in Ireland. Moore has received several awards for his work, including an honorary doctorate and a humanitarian award. He continues to write columns for various publications and collaborates with his wife, an artist and yoga instructor. Moore's approach combines psychology, spirituality, and mythology to explore the depths of human experience.

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