Key Takeaways
1. Pleasure activism is a radical act of self-love and resistance
Pleasure activism is the work we do to reclaim our whole, happy, and satisfiable selves from the impacts, delusions, and limitations of oppression and/or supremacy.
Pleasure as political practice. In a world that often seeks to oppress and control marginalized bodies, choosing to prioritize and pursue pleasure becomes a radical act of resistance. Pleasure activism asserts that we all deserve joy, satisfaction, and freedom in our lives. It recognizes that systemic oppression often denies us these experiences, teaching us to feel shame about our desires and bodies.
Reclaiming joy as liberation. By intentionally cultivating pleasure, we reject narratives of unworthiness and reclaim our innate right to feel good. This isn't selfish or frivolous - it's a necessary part of sustaining ourselves and our movements for social change. Pleasure activism encourages us to:
- Listen to our bodies and honor our needs
- Pursue activities that bring us genuine joy and satisfaction
- Release internalized shame about pleasure
- See our pursuit of pleasure as connected to collective liberation
2. Reclaim your body and sexuality as sources of power and joy
I have been torn in my relationship to clothing, professionally, since high school, always feeling like I was "smart" and should do something that required more analysis or would help people. I am often returning to fashion under secret cover.
Embodied empowerment. Our bodies are miraculous and deserve to be celebrated, not hidden away in shame. Reclaiming a positive relationship with our bodies and sexuality is a powerful form of resistance against oppressive beauty standards and sexual repression. This doesn't mean forcing ourselves to feel confident, but rather gradually exploring what feels good and authentic.
Practices for reclamation:
- Spend time naked, observing your body with curiosity and appreciation
- Explore sensual touch and self-pleasure without judgment
- Adorn your body in ways that feel joyful and empowering
- Move your body in ways that feel good, not just for exercise
- Communicate openly about your desires and boundaries
- Celebrate diverse bodies and forms of beauty
3. Embrace the erotic as a catalyst for personal and social transformation
The erotic cannot be felt secondhand. As a Black lesbian feminist, I have a particular feeling, knowledge, and understanding for those sisters with whom I have danced hard, played, or even fought.
Erotic power. The erotic is not just about sex, but about accessing our deepest wellspring of creative, sensual, and spiritual energy. When we tap into this power, we become more fully alive and connected to our purpose. The erotic fuels our passion for justice and our vision for a more beautiful world.
Audre Lorde's essay "Uses of the Erotic" outlines how embracing our erotic power can:
- Help us reject settling for the merely tolerable in our lives and work
- Deepen our capacity for joy and satisfaction
- Fuel our creative and political imagination
- Connect us more authentically with others
- Give us the strength to demand more from our relationships and society
4. Cultivate pleasure in everyday life and political work
I organize my life around pleasure, so it's hard for me to stay in a space, an organization, a job if it doesn't feel good.
Pleasure as compass. Too often, social justice work is framed as a grueling sacrifice. But burnout and misery don't serve the movement. By consciously cultivating pleasure in our lives and work, we become more sustainable, creative, and magnetic in our organizing. This doesn't mean ignoring hard realities, but rather staying connected to joy as we address them.
Ways to infuse pleasure into life and work:
- Incorporate music, dance, and creativity into meetings and actions
- Prioritize deep, nourishing relationships with comrades
- Take time for rest, play, and sensual enjoyment
- Celebrate small victories and moments of beauty
- Align your work with your genuine passions and talents
- Create welcoming, aesthetically pleasing spaces for organizing
5. Practice radical honesty and consent in all relationships
Consent means saying yes on your own terms. Giving permission or agreement for something to happen.
Authenticity and agency. Radical honesty means moving beyond social niceties to speak our truths, even when it's uncomfortable. This creates the conditions for deeper intimacy and growth. Paired with a strong practice of consent, it allows us to show up more fully in our relationships while respecting everyone's boundaries.
Key elements of radical honesty and consent:
- Communicate desires, fears, and needs openly
- Ask for explicit consent before escalating physical or emotional intimacy
- Be willing to hear "no" without taking it personally
- Take responsibility for your own emotions and actions
- Create a culture where it's safe to change your mind or renegotiate boundaries
- Regularly check in about comfort levels and desires
6. Use drugs mindfully as tools for healing and connection
I think a result of sourcing power in our longing and pleasure is abundant justice—that we can stop competing with each other, demanding scarce justice from our oppressors.
Harm reduction approach. Rather than demonizing all drug use, we can approach it with curiosity and mindfulness. When used intentionally, certain drugs can be powerful tools for healing trauma, expanding consciousness, and deepening connection. The key is to approach them with respect, education, and harm reduction practices.
Principles for mindful drug use:
- Research thoroughly and start with low doses
- Create a safe, comfortable setting with trusted people
- Set clear intentions for the experience
- Have a sober sitter present for more intense journeys
- Integrate insights gained through journaling, art, or therapy
- Recognize when use becomes problematic and seek support
- Advocate for decriminalization and equitable legalization
7. Create liberated relationships that honor autonomy and growth
Love without limit, play without restraint, live without dead time.
Freedom in connection. Liberated relationships reject possessiveness and rigid roles in favor of supporting each person's growth and authenticity. This applies to romantic partnerships, friendships, family bonds, and political alliances. The goal is to create connections that expand our sense of possibility rather than confining us.
Principles for liberated relationships:
- Encourage each other's independence and passions
- Communicate openly about needs, boundaries, and desires
- Reject jealousy and possessiveness in favor of compersion (joy in a partner's joy)
- Allow relationships to evolve organically rather than forcing them into predetermined boxes
- Prioritize growth, honesty, and mutual care over longevity for its own sake
- Create agreements that work for you rather than defaulting to social norms
8. Engage in creative expression as a form of pleasure and liberation
I AM A MOTHERFUCKING QUEEN! And I remembered that that's always been who I am!
Artistic alchemy. Creative expression allows us to transmute pain into beauty and imagine new possibilities. Whether through visual art, writing, music, dance, or other forms, creativity connects us to our power and brings more pleasure into the world. It can also be a potent form of resistance against oppressive narratives.
Ways to incorporate creative expression:
- Journal or free-write to process emotions and clarify desires
- Create affirmative self-portraits or body art
- Use movement and dance to express feelings too big for words
- Write erotic stories that center your desires and fantasies
- Craft visual art that represents your vision for a liberated world
- Collaborate on creative projects with like-minded others
9. Celebrate diversity in bodies, desires, and identities
I want to uplift another way. If we focused on teaching consent and boundaries instead of trying to scare people away from the most common and natural activity of our species, I think we could make major headway in the effort to turn our collective story from #metoo and #itwasme into #notme, and even #weconsentedanditwasdelicious.
Embracing multiplicity. True liberation requires moving beyond narrow definitions of acceptable bodies, relationships, and desires. By celebrating the vast diversity of human experience, we create more space for everyone to show up authentically. This includes embracing different:
- Body types, abilities, and presentations
- Gender identities and expressions
- Sexual orientations and relationship styles
- Cultural backgrounds and spiritual practices
- Ways of experiencing and expressing pleasure
10. Pass on a legacy of pleasure and empowerment to future generations
I want there to be a diversity of care tactics. And I want everyone to be able to create wildly intimate, healing relationships where your care needs are present in the room, not crammed in the garbage.
Intergenerational healing. By reclaiming our own relationship to pleasure and empowerment, we create new possibilities for future generations. This involves both healing our own wounds and consciously choosing how we want to parent, mentor, and educate young people. We can break cycles of shame and repression to pass on a legacy of embodied joy and liberation.
Strategies for empowering youth:
- Model self-love and body positivity
- Teach comprehensive, pleasure-positive sex education
- Encourage creative expression and play
- Validate children's emotions and bodily autonomy
- Create family and community cultures that celebrate diversity
- Share age-appropriate information about social justice and activism
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Review Summary
Pleasure Activism received mixed reviews. Many readers appreciated its exploration of pleasure as a political act and its focus on marginalized perspectives. The book's discussions on sex, relationships, and self-care resonated with some. However, others found it repetitive, scattered, and lacking depth in certain areas. Some reviewers wished for more diverse representations of pleasure beyond sex and drugs. Critics noted the book's potential to be triggering and its occasional transmisogynistic language. Overall, readers' experiences varied greatly, with some finding it transformative and others disappointing.
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