The Temperament God Gave You

1. Temperament is Your Innate, Unchanging Blueprint for Reaction

We are each born with a basic temperament, which is the sum of our natural preferences; it shapes our thoughts, ideas, impressions, and the way we tend to react to our environment and to other people.

Nature, not nurture. Temperament is an inborn predisposition, a hardwired pattern of inclinations and reactions stemming from our physiological constitution. It's not learned from environment, upbringing, or free choices, making it distinct from personality (the whole of an individual's behavior, thoughts, and emotions) and character (aspects shaped by environment, education, and free will).
Raw material. Think of temperament as the raw material an artist uses for a sculpture – it has inherent qualities like color, pattern, and malleability. The artist (our free will, experiences, and grace) then uses this material to create a unique masterpiece, our personality. While temperament cannot be destroyed, it can be shaped and molded, allowing us to act contrary to our natural inclinations over time.
Consistent reactions. Temperament explains why individuals respond to identical stimuli in consistent, predictable ways throughout their lives, varying in speed, duration, and intensity of reaction. This consistency helps us understand ourselves and others, providing a key to unlocking the mystery of human behavior.

2. The Four Classic Temperaments: Distinct Patterns of Being

Each of us is uniquely and predominantly one of the temperaments: choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic, or sanguine.

Ancient wisdom. The concept of four temperaments—choleric, melancholic, sanguine, and phlegmatic—dates back to Hippocrates and Galen, who linked them to bodily fluids. Modern psychologists like Carl Jung and David Keirsey have affirmed these four basic types, recognizing them as fundamental patterns in human nature that have remained consistent for millennia.
Key distinctions. Temperaments are primarily differentiated by two axes: extraversion vs. introversion, and whether decisions are based on principles or people.

• Extraverts (Choleric, Sanguine) focus outwardly, talk more, express easily, and are energized by social interaction.
• Introverts (Melancholic, Phlegmatic) focus inwardly, reflect before acting, are reserved, and find social interaction draining.
• Principle-oriented (Choleric, Melancholic) prioritize goals, ideas, and ideals, seeking objectivity and truth.
• People-oriented (Sanguine, Phlegmatic) value harmony, collaboration, and others' feelings.
  Snapshot overview:
• Choleric: Quick, intense, sustained reaction; extraverted, principle-oriented leader.
• Melancholic: Slow, intense, sustained reaction; introverted, principle-oriented idealist.
• Sanguine: Quick, dull, short reaction; extraverted, people-oriented enthusiast.
• Phlegmatic: Slow, dull, short reaction; introverted, people-oriented peacemaker.

3. Understanding Temperament is Key to Self-Knowledge and Humility

Self-knowledge is so important that, even if you were raised right up to the heavens, I should like you never to relax your cultivation of it.

Unveiling the self. Understanding your temperament helps you see yourself as you truly are, beyond mood swings or knee-jerk reactions. It reveals your natural strengths and weaknesses, allowing you to make conscious changes for the better rather than dealing with symptoms.
Humility and growth. Genuine self-knowledge leads to humility, not complacency. By recognizing your innate tendencies, you can master inclinations that hinder virtue and love. For example, a naturally quiet person can learn public speaking, or a quick-tempered individual can practice calming techniques.
Beyond labels. Temperament is a tool for self-assessment, not a fixed label or an excuse for bad behavior. It's the raw material, but free will, education, experience, and grace ultimately shape your character and eternal destiny.

4. Temperament Shapes Dynamics in Marriage and Family Life

Understanding temperament can help couples avoid the damaging effects of poor communication.

Complementary attraction. Often, opposites attract in relationships, with each spouse seeing a vital characteristic lacking in their own temperament. A peaceful phlegmatic might be drawn to a dynamic choleric, or an organized melancholic to a fun-loving sanguine.
Navigating differences. Over time, these initial attractions can become sources of conflict if not understood and appreciated. For example:

• A choleric's drive might be seen as controlling.
• A melancholic's idealism might be perceived as constant criticism.
• A sanguine's spontaneity might be labeled as superficiality.
• A phlegmatic's calm might be mistaken for indifference.
  Building bridges. The key to successful relationships is self-giving love, focusing on your spouse's needs. Understanding their temperament helps you express appreciation in ways that resonate with them and avoid "pushing buttons." For instance, a melancholic spouse needs affirmation, while a phlegmatic thrives on confidence-boosting praise.

5. Effective Motivation Requires Understanding Readiness, Willingness, and Ability

In order to change, one must be "ready, willing, and able."

The "execution gap." Motivation is the fuel for change, bridging the gap between knowing what we should do and actually doing it. Whether for personal goals or influencing others, understanding the components of motivation is crucial.
Three pillars of change:

• Willing: Is the goal important enough to me? Nagging often fails because it doesn't create an internal sense of discrepancy or importance. The individual must perceive the value of change for themselves.
• Able: Do I feel capable of achieving this? Lack of confidence can paralyze action. Empathy, encouragement, and a belief in the person's capability are vital for boosting confidence.
• Ready: Am I prepared to change now? Procrastination often stems from a lack of immediate readiness. Breaking down goals into manageable steps and prioritizing helps.
  False motivators. Threats, punishment, humiliation, or intimidation rarely work long-term because they undermine confidence and personal autonomy. True motivation comes from perceiving intrinsic worth in the goal and feeling supported and capable in an accepting environment.

6. Tailoring Motivation to Each Temperament's Unique Challenges

Each of the four temperaments has a characteristic weakness in one of these four areas.

Targeted strategies. While all temperaments need motivation, their specific challenges differ across setting goals, getting started, overcoming obstacles, and persevering.

• Choleric (Setting Goals): Needs to slow down, seek advice, and ensure goals are prudent and charitable, not just ambitious. Challenge them to be more efficient and familial, not less.
• Melancholic (Getting Started): Often paralyzed by over-analysis, fear of failure, or globalized anxiety. Needs a "kick-start," simplified tasks, and reassurance of their vital role. Empathy, not dismissal of worries, helps them move forward.
• Sanguine (Persevering): Enthusiastic starters but easily distracted and prone to superficiality. Needs help connecting hard work to desired rewards, setting schedules, and developing depth and follow-through. Positive reinforcement and accountability are key.
• Phlegmatic (Overcoming Obstacles): Cooperative but can be unassertive, complacent, or easily discouraged by challenges. Needs confidence-building, specific requests, and positive accountability. Avoid nagging, which causes withdrawal; instead, praise efforts and highlight past successes.

7. Temperament Combinations Offer Balanced Strengths and Specific Pitfalls

Most people, in fact, are not purely of one temperament but a combination of two, a primary one and a secondary one.

Blended nature. Temperament combinations generally balance strengths and weaknesses, making individuals more adaptable. However, some combinations are considered "untenable" in a healthy individual (e.g., choleric-phlegmatic or sanguine-melancholic) due to inherent, conflicting reaction patterns (e.g., quick and slow, intense and dull, introverted and extraverted).
Common pairings:

• Sanguine-Choleric: Highly extraverted, decisive, charming, and productive. Can be prone to rashness, impatience, and superficiality if unformed.
• Choleric-Melancholic: Strong, meticulous, strategic leaders. Can be proud, obstinate, critical, and unforgiving if unformed.
• Phlegmatic-Melancholic: Deeply introverted, thoughtful, and cooperative. Can struggle with timidity, procrastination, and negativity if unformed.
• Sanguine-Phlegmatic: Warm, easy-going, creative, and relationship-focused. Can be indecisive, disorganized, and overcommitted if unformed.
  Growth through awareness. Understanding your primary and secondary temperaments helps you leverage your unique blend of strengths and proactively address specific weaknesses, fostering greater self-mastery and more harmonious interactions.

8. Grace Perfects Nature: Temperament in the Spiritual Journey

Since grace never destroys nature, but rather builds upon it and perfects it, it is critical to understand how our nature, specifically our temperament, affects our growth in the spiritual life.

Divine design. God created us with unique temperaments, and His grace works with our nature, not against it. Our temperament influences our spiritual journey, making certain virtues easier or harder to acquire, and shaping our preferred forms of prayer.
Imperfections vs. sin. Imperfections stemming from temperament are not sins themselves, but they can predispose us to certain vices. For example, a choleric might struggle with meekness, while a sanguine might battle self-control. However, these can be moderated through conscious practice of opposing virtues and God's grace.
Transformation, not eradication. Spiritual growth is not about becoming the opposite of your temperament, but about surrendering to Christ and allowing Him to transform you. A dynamic extravert won't become a contemplative introvert, but can become a Christ-centered leader known for charity.

9. Cultivating Virtues and Prayer Life According to Your Temperament

Knowing what our strengths and weaknesses are helps us to develop a plan for harnessing our strengths and avoiding our weaknesses - perhaps even eliminating them!

Tailored spiritual practices:

• Choleric:
  • Gifts: Zeal for souls, fortitude, knowledge.
  • Weaknesses: Self-will, control, anger, haughtiness.
  • Practices: Docility to spiritual direction, meditation on the Mystical Body of Christ (unity), frequent sacraments, moving prayer from head to heart.
• Melancholic:
  • Gifts: Piety, long-suffering, wisdom.
  • Weaknesses: Timidity, scrupulosity, judgmentalism, despair.
  • Practices: Trust in God ("With God all things are possible"), gratitude prayers, combating self-pity, developing optimism, delicate charity, and focusing on Christ as the perfect friend.
• Sanguine:
  • Gifts: Joy, mercy, magnanimity, gratitude.
  • Weaknesses: Self-love, envy, seeking human respect, superficiality.
  • Practices: Developing depth and constancy (Duc in altum!), self-discipline, accountability in prayer groups, Ignatian meditation, and rooting confidence in God's unconditional love.
• Phlegmatic:
  • Gifts: Peace, understanding, counsel, meekness.
  • Weaknesses: Sensuality, sloth, complacency.
  • Practices: Building confidence in Christ, fortitude, prudence, engaging imagination in prayer, prayer journals, structured spiritual activities, and actively seeking God's will.
    Holiness for all. Regardless of temperament, all are called to holiness through a deep prayer life, humble submission to God's will, and charity. Self-knowledge helps us identify and overcome our specific failings, allowing grace to transform us into Christ's likeness.

Last updated: August 22, 2025