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Thriving with Adult ADHD

Thriving with Adult ADHD

Skills to Strengthen Executive Functioning
by Phil Boissiere 2018 157 pages
3.82
500+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Recognize ADHD as a neurodevelopmental disorder affecting executive functions

Your executive functions and their associated skills are critical to succeeding in all aspects of your life—period.

ADHD impacts core skills. Adults with ADHD struggle with executive functions housed in the prefrontal cortex, affecting attention, organization, and emotional control. These deficits stem from insufficient dopamine and norepinephrine production, crucial neurotransmitters for goal achievement and focus.

Understanding leads to management. Recognizing ADHD as a neurological condition rather than a character flaw is essential. This shift in perspective allows individuals to approach their challenges with compassion and seek appropriate strategies for improvement. Common symptoms include:

  • Difficulty finishing projects
  • Struggles with organization
  • Problems remembering appointments
  • Avoiding or delaying tasks
  • Feeling overly active or compelled to do things
  • Making careless mistakes
  • Hard time focusing on boring or repetitive tasks
  • Regularly misplacing items
  • Getting easily distracted
  • Feeling restless or fidgety

2. Strengthen working memory and focus through targeted exercises

To get your skills into CEO-level shape, you'll need to do some workouts to build your strength.

Train your brain. Improving working memory and focus is crucial for managing ADHD symptoms. Regular practice of specific exercises can strengthen these cognitive abilities, much like physical workouts build muscle.

Practical techniques:

  • Create a narrative: Before starting a task, tell yourself a story with a beginning, middle, and end that includes all the steps.
  • Use the Pomodoro Technique: Work in focused 25-minute intervals, followed by short breaks.
  • Practice mindfulness: Regular meditation can improve attention and reduce distractibility.
  • Utilize mnemonics: Create memory aids to help retain important information.
  • Implement the "distraction log": Keep a notebook nearby to jot down intrusive thoughts, allowing you to return to them later without losing focus.

3. Develop effective organization and planning strategies

If it's not written down, it doesn't exist.

Structure breeds success. Adults with ADHD often struggle with organization and planning, leading to missed deadlines and increased stress. Implementing effective strategies can significantly improve productivity and reduce anxiety.

Key organizational methods:

  • Use a consistent planner or digital calendar
  • Break large tasks into smaller, manageable steps
  • Prioritize tasks using the "must do," "should do," and "would be nice to do" categories
  • Implement the "two-minute rule": If a task takes less than two minutes, do it immediately
  • Create dedicated spaces for important items (keys, wallet, phone)
  • Regularly declutter and organize work and living spaces
  • Utilize visual aids like color-coding or mind maps

4. Cultivate cognitive flexibility to enhance problem-solving skills

Cognitive flexibility is the ability to shift from one task to another, move from an old idea to a new one, or hold more than one idea or concept in your head at the same time.

Adaptability is key. Cognitive flexibility allows individuals to approach problems from multiple angles, leading to more creative and effective solutions. For those with ADHD, improving this skill can significantly enhance daily functioning and problem-solving abilities.

Techniques to improve cognitive flexibility:

  • Practice brainstorming without judgment
  • Engage in improvisational exercises
  • Seek out new experiences and perspectives
  • Use the "What would [blank] do?" exercise to approach problems from different viewpoints
  • Challenge assumptions and explore alternative explanations
  • Play strategy games or solve puzzles regularly
  • Practice mindfulness to increase awareness of thought patterns

5. Master emotion regulation techniques for improved well-being

No emotion lasts forever. If they did, you would still be riding high from your first birthday party!

Emotional balance. Adults with ADHD often experience intense emotions that can be difficult to manage. Learning to regulate these feelings is crucial for maintaining relationships, performing well at work, and achieving overall well-being.

Emotion regulation strategies:

  • Practice mindfulness and meditation
  • Use the 3x3 Method: Identify three objects, name them, and take a deep breath for each
  • Implement cognitive reframing to challenge negative thought patterns
  • Engage in regular physical exercise
  • Maintain a consistent sleep schedule
  • Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk
  • Utilize deep breathing exercises during stressful moments
  • Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist when needed

6. Enhance impulse control to make better decisions

Before every behavior, there is a thought and a feeling.

Pause and reflect. Impulsivity is a hallmark symptom of ADHD that can lead to poor decision-making and regrettable actions. Developing stronger impulse control allows individuals to make more thoughtful choices and improve their overall quality of life.

Impulse control techniques:

  • Implement the STOP method: Stop, Think, Observe, Plan
  • Practice delayed gratification through small daily exercises
  • Use visualization to imagine potential consequences of actions
  • Create a "pause button" ritual, such as taking three deep breaths before responding
  • Develop and stick to routines to reduce impulsive deviations
  • Utilize accountability partners or systems
  • Practice mindfulness to increase awareness of impulses
  • Identify and avoid personal triggers for impulsive behavior

7. Embrace lifestyle changes to thrive with adult ADHD

Sleep like a baby.

Holistic approach. Managing ADHD effectively requires a comprehensive lifestyle approach that addresses sleep, nutrition, exercise, and stress management. These foundational elements can significantly impact symptom severity and overall well-being.

Key lifestyle adjustments:

  • Prioritize consistent sleep patterns: Aim for 7-9 hours nightly
  • Maintain a balanced diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids, protein, and complex carbohydrates
  • Engage in regular physical exercise, preferably 30 minutes daily
  • Practice stress-reduction techniques like meditation or yoga
  • Limit caffeine and alcohol consumption
  • Create a structured daily routine
  • Incorporate regular breaks and relaxation time
  • Seek support through ADHD support groups or coaching
  • Consider medication in consultation with a healthcare professional

Last updated:

FAQ

What's "Thriving with Adult ADHD" about?

  • Focus on Executive Functioning: The book is designed to help adults with ADHD strengthen their executive functioning skills, which are crucial for managing daily life effectively.
  • Comprehensive Guide: It provides a series of exercises, tools, and strategies to improve memory, organizational skills, stress management, and more.
  • Therapist's Insight: Written by Phil Boissiere, a therapist with extensive experience in treating adults with ADHD, the book offers practical advice based on clinical expertise.
  • Long-term Management: The book emphasizes building sustainable skills to manage ADHD symptoms over the long term.

Why should I read "Thriving with Adult ADHD"?

  • Practical Strategies: The book offers actionable strategies to help manage ADHD symptoms, making it a valuable resource for those seeking to improve their daily functioning.
  • Expert Guidance: Phil Boissiere's experience and insights provide a credible and reliable source of information for adults with ADHD.
  • Holistic Approach: It covers various aspects of life affected by ADHD, including emotional regulation, impulse control, and cognitive flexibility.
  • Empowerment: The book aims to empower readers by helping them understand their cognitive style and leverage their strengths.

What are the key takeaways of "Thriving with Adult ADHD"?

  • Core Skills Development: Focus on developing core mental skills like attention, memory, and organization to navigate life more effectively.
  • Neuroplasticity: The brain's ability to change and adapt is emphasized, offering hope for improvement through consistent practice.
  • Long-term Management: ADHD is a lifelong condition, and the book provides strategies for ongoing management and improvement.
  • Empathy and Perspective: Understanding and empathizing with others' perspectives can lead to better problem-solving and conflict resolution.

How does Phil Boissiere suggest improving memory in "Thriving with Adult ADHD"?

  • Working Memory Exercises: The book includes exercises to strengthen working memory, crucial for task completion and focus.
  • Narrative Creation: Creating a narrative or story about tasks can help reduce forgetfulness and improve task execution.
  • Mindfulness Techniques: Techniques like the 3x3 Method are suggested to bring focus back to the present and reduce anxiety.
  • Physical Health: Emphasizes the importance of sleep and exercise in maintaining a sharp memory and overall brain health.

What is the 3x3 Method mentioned in "Thriving with Adult ADHD"?

  • Simple Technique: The 3x3 Method is a mindfulness and breathing technique designed to quickly calm the mind and reduce stress.
  • Three Objects: Identify three physical objects in your environment, name each one, and take a deep breath after naming each.
  • Immediate Effect: This method helps bring attention back to the present moment, reducing the impact of overwhelming emotions.
  • Widely Applicable: It can be used in various situations to manage stress and improve focus.

How does "Thriving with Adult ADHD" address emotional regulation?

  • Awareness First: The book emphasizes the importance of being aware of one's emotions as the first step in managing them.
  • Mind-Body Connection: Understanding how physical states affect emotions can help in regulating emotional responses.
  • Resilience Building: Techniques are provided to build emotional resilience, helping individuals bounce back from negative experiences.
  • Practical Exercises: Includes exercises like sitting with emotions and the 3x3 Method to help manage emotional intensity.

What are the best quotes from "Thriving with Adult ADHD" and what do they mean?

  • "Your brain is 'plastic' and capable of change." This highlights the concept of neuroplasticity, emphasizing that the brain can adapt and improve with practice.
  • "Managing ADHD is a lifelong practice with lifelong positive outcomes." It underscores the importance of ongoing management and the potential for positive change over time.
  • "You are on this journey because you know you deserve better and are capable of much more." This quote is meant to empower readers, encouraging them to pursue improvement and self-betterment.
  • "If it’s not written down, it doesn’t exist." Stresses the importance of writing things down to manage tasks and responsibilities effectively.

How does "Thriving with Adult ADHD" suggest managing distractions?

  • Digital Device Management: The book advises turning off notifications and using website blockers to minimize digital distractions.
  • Distraction Log: Keeping a log of distractions can help identify patterns and reduce their impact on focus.
  • Mindful Intention: Encourages setting clear intentions for tasks to maintain focus and avoid getting sidetracked.
  • Breathing Techniques: Using breathing exercises to calm the mind and refocus attention when distractions arise.

What is cognitive flexibility according to "Thriving with Adult ADHD"?

  • Flexible Thinking: Cognitive flexibility involves the ability to shift from old ideas to new ones and adapt to changing situations.
  • Task Switching: It includes the ability to switch tasks smoothly and think about multiple concepts simultaneously.
  • Problem-Solving: Enhancing cognitive flexibility can lead to better problem-solving skills and creative thinking.
  • Exercises Provided: The book offers exercises to improve cognitive flexibility, such as perspective-taking and improvisation.

How does "Thriving with Adult ADHD" recommend improving impulse control?

  • Pause and Evaluate: Encourages taking a pause to evaluate potential outcomes before acting on an impulse.
  • Defusion Techniques: Using techniques to separate thoughts from behaviors, reducing impulsive reactions.
  • STOP Method: A structured approach to managing impulses by stopping, thinking, observing, and planning.
  • Social Observation: Observing others to gain cues on appropriate behavior in social situations.

What role does empathy play in "Thriving with Adult ADHD"?

  • Perspective Taking: Empathy involves understanding and acknowledging another person's perspective, which can lead to better conflict resolution.
  • Improved Relationships: By developing empathy, individuals can improve their relationships and reduce misunderstandings.
  • Emotional Regulation: Empathy can help in managing one's own emotions by understanding the emotions of others.
  • Exercises Included: The book includes exercises to practice empathy and perspective-taking, enhancing cognitive flexibility.

How does "Thriving with Adult ADHD" suggest building resilience?

  • Emotional Resilience: The book provides strategies to build emotional resilience, helping individuals cope with stress and setbacks.
  • Daily Challenges: Encourages facing daily challenges and fears to build resilience over time.
  • Support Systems: Highlights the importance of using support from others to gain strength and perspective.
  • Optimistic Outlook: Maintaining an optimistic yet realistic outlook can enhance resilience and improve overall well-being.

Review Summary

3.82 out of 5
Average of 500+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Thriving with Adult ADHD receives mixed reviews. Some readers find it helpful for newly diagnosed individuals, praising its practical advice and easy-to-follow format. Others criticize its simplistic approach and one-size-fits-all mentality. Positive reviews highlight the book's focus on self-assessment and actionable strategies, while negative reviews mention its condescending tone and lack of depth. Many readers appreciate the book's structure and exercises, but some find the content too basic or ineffective for their needs. Overall, the book seems most beneficial for those new to ADHD management.

Your rating:

About the Author

Phil Boissiere, MFT is a therapist specializing in adult ADHD. He has experience working with Silicon Valley executives, which informs his approach to ADHD management. Boissiere focuses on practical strategies and mental skills to improve executive functioning in various aspects of life, including work, relationships, and emotional regulation. His writing style is described as clear, concise, and easy to follow. While some readers find his tone supportive and empowering, others perceive it as condescending. Boissiere's approach emphasizes self-assessment, incremental actions, and skill-building exercises to help individuals with ADHD thrive in their personal and professional lives.

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