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Trust Kids!

Trust Kids!

Stories on Youth Autonomy and Confronting Adult Supremacy
by carla joy bergman 2022 240 pages
4.17
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Trust children as full human beings with innate wisdom and capabilities

"Children don't need to be taught joy in being alive."

Innate wisdom. Children are born with an intrinsic drive to learn, explore, and engage with the world around them. Rather than viewing children as blank slates or incomplete humans, we should recognize their inherent capabilities and honor their unique perspectives. Trusting children means:

  • Believing them when they express their needs, feelings, and experiences
  • Allowing them to make decisions and learn from natural consequences
  • Respecting their bodily autonomy and right to consent
  • Valuing their ideas, opinions, and creative expressions
  • Supporting their innate curiosity and love of learning

By trusting children as full human beings, we create the conditions for them to thrive and develop into confident, capable adults. This requires adults to examine their own biases and relinquish the need for control.

2. Challenge adultism and adult supremacy in all aspects of society

"The forcible subjugation of children by adults forms the psychological underpinning of every other model of political and economic subjugation."

Pervasive discrimination. Adultism, or discrimination against young people on the basis of age, is deeply ingrained in our societal structures and norms. It manifests as:

  • Laws and policies that deny children basic rights and autonomy
  • Educational systems that prioritize conformity over creativity
  • Patronizing attitudes that dismiss children's perspectives
  • Physical and emotional violence against children
  • Economic exploitation of child labor

Challenging adult supremacy requires critically examining power dynamics in all realms of society - from families to institutions. We must work to dismantle hierarchies that subjugate children and recognize how this oppression intersects with and reinforces other systems of domination like white supremacy and patriarchy.

3. Rethink childhood as a different way of being, not an inferior stage

"Childhood is merely a different way of being, one that is not exclusive to youth."

Reframing perspectives. Rather than viewing childhood as a temporary and provisional stage of development, we should recognize it as a valid and valuable way of engaging with the world. Key points:

  • Children are not incomplete or deficient humans
  • Childhood capacities for curiosity, play, and wonder persist throughout life
  • The immediacy and exploratory nature of childhood cognition is valuable
  • Adulthood is not the apex of human development
  • Both child-like and adult-like modes of being have merit

By shifting how we conceptualize childhood, we can move away from a hierarchical view that privileges adult ways of knowing and being. This allows for more reciprocal intergenerational relationships.

4. Embrace autonomy, consent, and self-directed learning for youth

"You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts."

Freedom to learn. Children are naturally driven to learn and grow. Rather than imposing adult-directed education, we should create environments that support self-directed learning:

  • Allow children to choose what, how, and when they learn
  • Provide resources and facilitation rather than top-down instruction
  • Respect children's right to say no and set boundaries
  • Create opportunities for real-world engagement and apprenticeship
  • Trust that children will gain necessary skills through exploration

Self-directed learning fosters intrinsic motivation, creativity, and a lifelong love of learning. It also prepares children to be self-reliant, critical thinkers equipped for an uncertain future.

5. Cultivate intergenerational relationships and community beyond the nuclear family

"We are nothing if we walk alone; we are everything when we walk together in step with other dignified feet."

Expanding connections. The nuclear family model isolates children and places immense pressure on parents. Instead, we should foster diverse intergenerational relationships:

  • Create "chosen family" networks of mutual support
  • Involve elders in childcare and mentoring
  • Encourage child participation in community life
  • Build solidarity between youth and adults in social movements
  • Share resources and caregiving responsibilities communally

Broader community connections provide children with diverse role models, expanded learning opportunities, and a stronger support system. This approach also reduces the burden on individual parents and caregivers.

6. Decolonize parenting practices and educational systems

"We need to decolonize our Black parenting. This means that we must understand how our parenting practices have been formed by systems of oppression."

Unlearning oppression. Many common parenting and educational practices are rooted in colonial, white supremacist ideologies that perpetuate trauma and oppression. Decolonizing involves:

  • Examining the cultural and historical roots of disciplinary practices
  • Rejecting physical punishment and coercive control
  • Centering Indigenous and non-Western ways of relating to children
  • Dismantling the school-to-prison pipeline
  • Affirming children's cultural identities and languages

By recognizing how colonialism has shaped our understanding of childhood and education, we can work to create more holistic, culturally-affirming approaches to raising and teaching children.

7. Center children's voices in social movements and radical change

"We don't need to be empowered by adults; I need them to stop having power over me."

Youth leadership. Children and youth are at the forefront of many social and environmental justice movements. We must amplify their voices and follow their lead:

  • Support youth-led organizations and initiatives
  • Include children in decision-making processes
  • Uplift youth activists like Greta Thunberg
  • Recognize children's stake in shaping the future
  • Create intergenerational spaces for collaboration

Young people often have the clarity, courage, and creativity to envision radical alternatives. By centering their perspectives, we can build more inclusive and transformative movements for change.

8. Recognize how child oppression underpins other systems of domination

"Childhood is, therefore, the originary site—ground zero—of all systems of domination, the position where all forms of oppression are produced and reproduced."

Root of oppression. The subjugation of children serves as a model for other forms of domination and exploitation. Understanding this connection reveals:

  • How childhood trauma perpetuates cycles of violence
  • The role of schools in reproducing social hierarchies
  • Links between adultism and colonialism, racism, and patriarchy
  • How child labor fuels capitalist exploitation
  • The use of infantilization to justify oppression of marginalized groups

By addressing the foundational oppression of children, we can begin to dismantle interconnected systems of domination and create more equitable societies for all.

9. Create spaces for play, exploration, and youth-led initiatives

"Children are creators, producers, energy, treasures, necessary to health and survival."

Fostering creativity. Play is children's work and a vital mode of learning and development. We should create abundant opportunities for free play and youth-led projects:

  • Design playful learning environments
  • Allow for unstructured time and "risky" play
  • Support youth-run spaces and organizations
  • Encourage artistic expression and experimentation
  • Provide materials for open-ended creation

By fostering creativity and autonomy, we empower children to develop problem-solving skills, resilience, and innovative thinking. This prepares them to tackle complex challenges and envision new possibilities.

10. Practice mutual aid and cooperation rather than competition with youth

"We are fungi on wild edges, we are the thorns that grew."

Collaborative spirit. Despite cultural messaging about competition, children naturally tend towards cooperation and mutual aid. We should nurture this inclination by:

  • Modeling collaborative problem-solving
  • Creating non-hierarchical learning spaces
  • Encouraging peer-to-peer support and teaching
  • Rejecting individualistic measures of success
  • Fostering a sense of community responsibility

By prioritizing cooperation over competition, we can create more supportive and equitable environments for children to thrive. This approach also builds skills for creating collaborative, non-hierarchical social structures.

11. Reimagine adult-child relationships based on listening and respect

"Listening is not just to hear the other, but to be ready to be transformed by the other."

Mutual transformation. Truly respectful relationships with children require adults to listen deeply and remain open to change. This involves:

  • Practicing active, empathetic listening
  • Valuing children's knowledge and experiences
  • Being willing to admit mistakes and learn from children
  • Engaging in dialogue rather than top-down instruction
  • Cultivating curiosity about children's perspectives

By approaching relationships with children as opportunities for mutual growth and learning, we can create more authentic connections and break down harmful power dynamics. This reciprocal approach benefits both children and adults, fostering intergenerational understanding and solidarity.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What’s Trust Kids!: Stories on Youth Autonomy and Confronting Adult Supremacy by carla joy bergman about?

  • Focus on youth autonomy: The book is a collection of essays and stories exploring the importance of trusting children and youth as autonomous, capable individuals.
  • Challenging adult supremacy: It critiques adultism and adult supremacy, advocating for relationships with children based on respect, consent, and love.
  • Intergenerational solidarity: The book emphasizes building solidarity across generations, starting at home and in communities, to dismantle hierarchical power structures.
  • Beyond schooling: While it touches on education, the primary focus is on home and community contexts where power dynamics shape children’s experiences.

2. Why should I read Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman?

  • Critical challenge to norms: The book offers a compelling call to rethink how adults relate to children, urging readers to trust kids as full human beings.
  • Diverse, real-life perspectives: It features stories and essays from parents, youth, educators, and activists, providing practical and philosophical guidance.
  • Links to social justice: The book connects youth autonomy to broader movements against capitalism, colonialism, and white supremacy.
  • Inspiration for change: Readers are encouraged to create or support spaces where children can thrive authentically and contribute to radical social transformation.

3. What are the key takeaways and themes from Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman?

  • Undoing adult supremacy: Adultism is identified as a root cause of child oppression, and dismantling it requires adults to share power and respect children’s autonomy.
  • Solidarity begins at home: Transformative change starts in personal relationships, especially within families and communities, by fostering trust and care across generations.
  • Youth autonomy as liberation: Children deserve to be treated as whole humans with rights to consent, joy, and self-expression.
  • Intersectional approach: The book connects youth liberation to struggles against racism, colonialism, and other forms of systemic oppression.

4. How does Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman define and critique adult supremacy (adultism)?

  • Definition of adult supremacy: Adultism is described as the systemic privileging of adults’ authority and control over children, often justified as necessary for protection or preparation.
  • Barrier to justice: The book critiques adultism as a fundamental obstacle to social justice, linking it to other hierarchies like racism and patriarchy.
  • Call for relational change: It advocates for relationships based on trust, consent, and mutual respect rather than domination and control.
  • Childism as oppression: The book introduces “childism” as a form of oppression rooted in societal beliefs that children are less capable or less human.

5. What are the main concepts and definitions introduced in Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman?

  • Youth autonomy: The right and ability of children and youth to make decisions about their own lives, supported by adults who trust and respect them.
  • Adult supremacy/adultism: A system where adults hold disproportionate power over children, limiting their freedom and voice.
  • Childing: The concept of centering childhood as a unique modality of being, challenging the idea that children are merely incomplete adults.
  • Mutual aid and cooperative exclusion: The book contrasts natural human tendencies to cooperate with societal structures that enforce competition and exclusion, especially in schooling and labor.
  • Magneto as metaphor: The character Magneto from X-Men is used as a symbol for youth autonomy and resistance against assimilation and control.

6. How does Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman address the role of fear in parenting and education?

  • Fear limits possibilities: The book reflects that much of parenting and teaching is driven by fear, which restricts what adults imagine possible for children’s growth.
  • Harm of fear-based control: Fear leads to coercive practices that undermine trust and children’s natural capacities for self-regulation and responsibility.
  • Moving beyond fear: Adults are encouraged to approach childrearing with curiosity and openness, recognizing children’s capabilities.
  • Community support matters: Trusting children is easier when parents and caregivers are supported by a community that shares responsibility and knowledge.

7. What practical advice does Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman offer for building trust and solidarity with children?

  • Deep, curious listening: Adults should practice listening to children’s voices, honoring their feelings, and validating their experiences without judgment or control.
  • Collaborative problem-solving: The book suggests brainstorming solutions together rather than relying on adult reasoning or authority.
  • Embrace imperfection: Trust is a process; adults will make mistakes but can build stronger relationships by being open, vulnerable, and willing to learn alongside children.
  • Create supportive environments: Building communities where children have access to multiple trusted adults and safe spaces is emphasized.

8. How does Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman critique schooling and discuss alternatives like unschooling?

  • School is not central: The book shifts focus from institutional schooling to home and community as primary sites of child oppression or liberation.
  • Unschooling as learner-centered: Essays describe unschooling as self-directed education that respects children’s interests and autonomy.
  • Critique of institutional schooling: Schools are critiqued for reinforcing hierarchy, surveillance, and adult control.
  • Alternative models: The book shares stories of educational models that foster freedom, joy, and respect for children’s autonomy.

9. How does Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman address the intersection of youth autonomy with race, gender, and identity?

  • Queer and trans experiences: The book includes personal stories exploring support for gender identity and autonomy in youth.
  • Racism and colonialism: It connects child oppression to colonial and white supremacist systems, emphasizing decolonial approaches to parenting and community.
  • Inclusive solidarity: The book advocates for recognizing diverse identities and ensuring youth autonomy includes respect for race, gender, ability, and culture.
  • Historical context: Essays discuss how racialized groups, especially Black and Indigenous children, have been infantilized and subjected to systemic violence.

10. How does Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman use the metaphor of Magneto from X-Men to explore youth liberation?

  • Magneto as resistance: Magneto is interpreted as representing youth autonomy and liberation, standing against assimilationist forces symbolized by Professor X.
  • Affirmation over negation: The book highlights Magneto’s potential as a leader who creates autonomous communities that celebrate difference and mutual aid.
  • Healing trauma: Magneto’s story is used to discuss the importance of healing and supporting neurodivergent and marginalized youth beyond institutional control.
  • Practical metaphor: Magneto’s helmet symbolizes the protective stance adults need to take against oppressive systems to truly support youth autonomy.

11. What role do art and creativity play in Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman?

  • Art as connection: Contributors share how music, poetry, and visual art foster relationships, joy, and self-discovery among children and adults.
  • Amplifying diverse voices: The book includes poems and artwork, weaving creative expression into its narrative to highlight diverse experiences.
  • Healing and resistance: Art is presented as a tool for breaking cycles of oppression, nurturing autonomy, and imagining new futures.
  • Creative solidarity: Artistic practices are shown to support intergenerational trust and community building.

12. What are the most powerful quotes from Trust Kids! by carla joy bergman and what do they mean?

  • “Trust Children. Nothing could be more simple—or more difficult.” (John Holt): This highlights the challenge and necessity of trusting kids as a foundation for change.
  • “Children need to be raised in loving environments. Whenever domination is present love is lacking.” (bell hooks): This underscores that love and domination cannot coexist in healthy child-rearing.
  • “I don’t need to be empowered by adults; I need them to stop having power over me.” (Child contributor): This reframes empowerment as adults relinquishing control rather than granting power.
  • “Children don’t get traumatized because of the hurt, they get traumatized because they are alone with the hurt.” (Gabor Maté): This emphasizes the importance of relational support and presence in healing childhood trauma.
  • “Trust kids. Trust kids too.” (Outro poem): This repeated phrase encapsulates the book’s fundamental call to believe in children’s knowledge, autonomy, and right to be themselves.

Review Summary

4.17 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Trust Kids! receives generally positive reviews, with readers praising its thought-provoking content on youth autonomy and adult supremacy. Many appreciate the inclusion of diverse perspectives, intergenerational voices, and multimedia formats. The book challenges readers to reconsider their views on child-adult relationships and education. Some criticisms include repetitive content, shallow analysis in certain essays, and a lack of practical applications. Overall, readers find the anthology informative and inspiring, though some struggle with specific concepts or the book's organization.

Your rating:
4.6
34 ratings

About the Author

carla bergman is an editor and writer who compiled the anthology "Trust Kids!" The book focuses on youth autonomy and challenging adult supremacy in society. Bergman's work emphasizes intergenerational perspectives and includes contributions from adults, children, and teenagers. Her approach to the topic is rooted in anarchist principles and aims to promote trust and respect for young people. Bergman's editing style incorporates diverse formats, including essays, poetry, interviews, and artwork. Her work encourages readers to reconsider traditional power dynamics between adults and children, advocating for more equitable and trusting relationships across generations.

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