Unf*ck Your Anxiety

1. Anxiety is a natural human response, not a weakness

"When you struggle with anxiety, the most empowering thing in the world is realizing that you aren't weak, broken, or batshit crazy."

Anxiety is evolutionary. Our brains are wired to protect us, and anxiety is a direct result of how we have evolved for survival. Certain memories are stored in specific ways to keep us safe. When these memories are triggered, rational thought is bypassed, and the body goes into a "do something to fix this" mode.

Anxiety demands attention. It creates a state of full-body disequilibrium at a level of intensity that requires immediate attention and corrective action. This is why anxiety is so hard to ignore – it's designed to demand your full focus, like a naked, raging toddler running through the street in a snowstorm with a fist full of gummy bears in one hand and a bloody machete in the other.

Cultural context matters. Modern living is stressful, but anxiety isn't new to humanity. Philosophical shifts in how humans view themselves, starting in the 19th century, have contributed to the prevalence of anxiety. The move towards technical reason, which suggests emotions have no place in decision-making, has led to the repression of emotions and the emergence of anxiety as an unavoidable problem.

2. Understanding the science behind anxiety empowers management

"Anxiety is a state of full body disequilibrium at a level of intensity that demands immediate attention and corrective action on your part."

The brain's fear circuits. Anxiety disorders share neurocircuitry with human fear circuits. The only difference is that anxiety responds to a non-specific threat. Multiple brain areas are involved, from the amygdala to specific brain stem nuclei, priming us to respond to both familiar and new threats.

Chemical cascade. The Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal (HPA) Axis intertwines the body's endocrine system and central nervous system. When activated, it releases:

• Corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF)
• Adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH)
• Cortisol
• Adrenaline (epinephrine)

Physical symptoms. These chemicals cause various physical reactions:

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Expanded lung capacity
• Dilated pupils
• Blood redistribution to muscles

Understanding this process helps in recognizing anxiety symptoms and provides a basis for effective management strategies.

3. Lifestyle changes can significantly reduce anxiety symptoms

"Broccoli doesn't get government subsidies and doesn't help sell medication, so it doesn't have advocacy from captains of industry."

Diet matters. Certain nutrients are often lacking in people with anxiety disorders, including:

• B vitamins (especially B6)
• Iron
• Zinc
• Magnesium
• Omega-3 fatty acids

Probiotic-rich foods, fermented foods, and antioxidant-rich foods can also reduce anxiety by promoting gut healing and reducing chronic inflammation.

Supplements can help. When diet alone isn't enough, consider:

• Whole food supplements
• Herbal supplements (adaptogens and nervines)
• High-quality brands vetted by professionals

Movement is medicine. Regular physical activity:

• Changes attention control
• Inhibits mid-brain anxiety response
• Activates endocannabinoids
• Builds up effortful control over anxiety symptoms over time

Choose activities you enjoy to maintain motivation and consistency.

4. Short-term coping strategies disrupt anxiety in the moment

"Anxiety demands every ounce of attention we have, no matter how inconvenient the time or unnecessary the anxiety actually was to begin with."

Disrupt the signal. When anxiety hits, try these techniques:

1. Deep breathing and progressive relaxation
2. Name your anxiety (give it a persona)
3. Create and use coping cards
4. Ride the wave (sit with the feeling for 5 minutes)
5. Put it on ice (use ice as a sensory distraction)

Challenge negative thoughts. Use the ABCDE model:

• Adversity: Identify the triggering situation
• Belief: Recognize your thoughts about the event
• Consequences: Note your emotional and behavioral reactions
• Disputation: Challenge negative beliefs with evidence
• Energization: Focus on the outcome of this new perspective

These strategies help metabolize stress chemicals and provide immediate relief during anxiety or panic attacks.

5. Long-term self-training rewires the anxious brain

"Embracing stress is a radical act of self trust."

Cognitive defusion. Separate yourself from your thoughts:

• Instead of "I am too awkward," think "I'm noticing that I'm having a thought about being too awkward."
• This creates distance between you and your anxious thoughts, reducing their power.

Mindfulness meditation. Practice focusing on the present moment:

• Sit comfortably and focus on your breath
• Label distracting thoughts as "thinking" and return to your breath
• This disrupts the brain's storytelling process and reduces anxiety

Passive progressive relaxation. Systematically relax your body:

• Start with deep breathing
• Focus on relaxing each body part, from head to toe
• This reduces physical tension associated with anxiety

Consistent practice of these techniques can lead to long-term changes in how your brain processes anxiety-inducing situations.

6. Mindset shifts transform stress into a growth opportunity

"Mindsets are really nothing more than the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world that shape our realities."

Reframe stress as excitement. Research shows that saying "I'm excited" out loud can reappraise stress as excitement, which is easier for the brain to process than trying to calm down completely.

Embrace challenge stress. Viewing stress as a growth opportunity can improve performance. Studies show that people who believe "You're the kind of person whose performance improves under pressure" see a 33% increase in task performance.

Practice the GOOD mindset:

• Gratitude: Focus on what's good in your life
• Openness to Possibilities: Be aware of solutions and opportunities
• Opportunities In This Experience: Find learning moments in every situation
• Determine: Visualize yourself embracing challenges successfully

Consistently practicing these mindset shifts can lead to increased resilience and better anxiety management over time.

7. Seeking professional help and support is crucial for recovery

"If you say it's a problem, I will agree that it's a problem. You know you the best."

Talk therapy options. Consider:

• Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
• Exposure Therapy
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Metacognitive Therapy
• Somatic Therapy

Medication can help. Common options include:

• Anxiolytics (benzodiazepines)
• Antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs)
• Other medications (buspirone, beta-blockers)

Complementary therapies. Explore:

• Acupuncture/Acupressure/EFT
• Biofeedback/Neurofeedback
• Chiropractic treatment
• Energy healing (Reflexology/Reiki)
• Massage
• Weighted blankets

When seeking a provider, ask about their qualifications, experience, and approach to ensure a good fit for your needs.

8. Compassion and boundaries are key when supporting loved ones with anxiety

"It's okay to be upset if their anxiety is fucking over your plans, too. But own it for exactly that."

Open communication. Start conversations with empathy and understanding:

• "Hey, what's up? I haven't seen you in a while. Is your anxiety acting up?"
• "I was bummed you didn't show up last night. Should we try different kinds of plans?"

Offer specific support. Ask, "What would be helpful right now?" This could mean:

• Being an accountability partner for walks
• Helping research therapists
• Providing a listening ear

Set healthy boundaries. It's important to support without taking over their lives:

• Don't work harder for someone than they're working for themselves
• Express your limitations with love rather than resentment
• Maintain your own self-care and mental health

Remember, supporting someone with anxiety is a balance between compassion and maintaining your own well-being. Clear communication and boundaries help sustain the relationship through challenging times.

Last updated: April 4, 2025