Key Takeaways
1. Embrace Your True Self: Unleash Your Wild and Authentic Nature
I was a goddamn cheetah.
Unleash your inner cheetah. We are all born wild and free, but society often tames us into cages of conformity. Recognizing and embracing our true nature is the first step towards living an authentic life. This involves:
- Identifying societal expectations that limit us
- Questioning beliefs that don't align with our inner truth
- Embracing our unique qualities, even if they don't fit the norm
By reconnecting with our wild selves, we can tap into our full potential and live more fulfilling lives. This process may be uncomfortable at first, but it's essential for personal growth and happiness.
2. Feel It All: Emotions Are the Fuel of Personal Growth
Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even the hard ones.
Embrace all emotions. Many of us are taught to suppress or avoid difficult emotions, but this only stunts our growth. By allowing ourselves to feel everything, we can:
- Gain valuable insights about ourselves and our needs
- Develop resilience and emotional intelligence
- Use pain as a catalyst for personal transformation
Emotions, both positive and negative, are essential parts of the human experience. By embracing them fully, we can navigate life's challenges with greater wisdom and strength.
3. Trust Your Inner Knowing: Listen to Your Intuition
Be Still and Know.
Cultivate inner wisdom. In a world full of noise and conflicting advice, learning to trust your own intuition is crucial. This involves:
- Creating space for stillness and reflection
- Recognizing the difference between fear-based thoughts and genuine intuition
- Acting on your inner guidance, even when it's uncomfortable
By developing a strong connection with your inner knowing, you can make decisions that align with your true self and values. This practice leads to greater confidence, authenticity, and fulfillment in life.
4. Dare to Imagine: Use Your Imagination to Create a Better Life
Imagination is how personal and worldwide revolutions begin.
Harness the power of imagination. Our ability to envision a better future is the first step in creating it. This involves:
- Challenging limiting beliefs about what's possible
- Visualizing the life, relationships, and world you want to create
- Using imagination to solve problems and overcome obstacles
By daring to imagine new possibilities, we can break free from societal constraints and create lives that truly reflect our values and desires. This practice is not just about personal fulfillment, but also about driving positive change in the world around us.
5. Build and Burn: Let Go of What No Longer Serves You
Destruction is essential to construction.
Embrace necessary endings. Growth often requires letting go of old beliefs, relationships, or situations that no longer serve us. This process involves:
- Identifying aspects of your life that don't align with your true self
- Having the courage to end or change these aspects
- Embracing the discomfort of change as a sign of growth
By letting go of what no longer fits, we create space for new opportunities and experiences that align with our authentic selves. This cycle of building and burning is essential for personal evolution and living a life true to our values.
6. Challenge Societal Expectations: Define Your Own Path
Freedom is not being for or against an ideal, but creating your own existence from scratch.
Create your own normal. Society often dictates how we should live, love, and define success. Challenging these norms involves:
- Questioning societal expectations and cultural norms
- Defining your own values and priorities
- Living authentically, even if it means going against the grain
By freeing ourselves from societal expectations, we can create lives that truly reflect our individual desires and values. This may be challenging, but it leads to greater fulfillment and authenticity.
7. Redefine Love and Relationships: Prioritize Self-Love and Authentic Connections
Me and myself: We are till death do us part.
Love yourself first. True love and meaningful relationships start with self-love and self-respect. This involves:
- Prioritizing your own needs and well-being
- Setting healthy boundaries in relationships
- Seeking connections that support your authentic self
By cultivating a strong relationship with yourself, you create a foundation for healthier, more authentic connections with others. This self-love allows you to enter relationships from a place of wholeness rather than seeking completion from others.
8. Parenting with Courage: Empower Your Children to Be Their True Selves
My children do not need me to save them. My children need to watch me save myself.
Model authenticity for your children. Effective parenting isn't about shielding children from life's challenges, but about empowering them to face those challenges with resilience and authenticity. This involves:
- Demonstrating self-love and self-respect
- Encouraging children to express their true selves
- Teaching them to navigate difficult emotions and situations
By parenting with courage and authenticity, we can raise children who are confident, resilient, and true to themselves. This approach prepares them to face life's challenges and live fulfilling lives.
9. Confront Racism and Privilege: Actively Work Towards Social Justice
We must commit to pulling our brothers and sisters out of the river and also commit to going upstream to identify, confront, and hold accountable those who are pushing them in.
Be an active ally. Addressing systemic racism and privilege requires more than just awareness; it demands action. This involves:
- Educating yourself about systemic racism and privilege
- Examining your own biases and complicity
- Actively working to dismantle oppressive systems
By confronting racism and privilege head-on, we can contribute to creating a more just and equitable society. This work is ongoing and requires constant self-reflection and action.
10. Navigate Mental Health: Embrace Your Struggles as Superpowers
The fire that burned me up for the first half of my life is the exact same fire I'm using now to light up the world.
Transform struggles into strengths. Mental health challenges can be reframed as unique perspectives and abilities. This involves:
- Recognizing the positive aspects of your mental health struggles
- Using your experiences to develop empathy and creativity
- Seeking appropriate support and treatment when needed
By embracing our mental health struggles as part of our unique makeup, we can harness them as sources of strength and insight. This perspective allows us to turn our challenges into tools for personal growth and positive impact on the world.
11. Choose Joy: Pursue Your Happiness Without Guilt
I chose Abby. I chose my own joy.
Prioritize your happiness. Choosing joy is not selfish; it's essential for living a fulfilling life and positively impacting others. This involves:
- Identifying what truly brings you joy
- Making conscious choices that align with your happiness
- Letting go of guilt associated with prioritizing your own needs
By choosing joy, we not only improve our own lives but also become better equipped to support and uplift others. This choice often requires courage, especially when it goes against societal expectations, but it's crucial for living an authentic and fulfilling life.
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FAQ
What's Untamed about?
- Personal Journey: Untamed is a memoir by Glennon Doyle that details her journey of self-discovery, love, and empowerment. It highlights her struggles with societal expectations and her eventual realization of her true self.
- Breaking Free from Cages: The book uses the metaphor of cages to describe how societal norms limit personal growth. Doyle emphasizes the importance of recognizing these cages and finding the courage to break free.
- Themes of Freedom: Doyle advocates for living authentically and embracing one's true identity and desires, regardless of external pressures.
Why should I read Untamed?
- Empowering Message: The book offers a powerful message about self-acceptance and the importance of living authentically, inspiring readers to question societal norms.
- Relatable Experiences: Many readers find Doyle's experiences relatable, especially her struggles with identity, motherhood, and relationships, resonating with those who have felt confined by expectations.
- Transformative Insights: Untamed provides insights into personal growth and transformation, encouraging readers to reflect on their own lives and consider what it means to be truly free.
What are the key takeaways of Untamed?
- Feel It All: Doyle emphasizes the importance of feeling all emotions, even the difficult ones, as a path to self-discovery.
- Be Still and Know: The book advocates for taking time to be still and listen to one’s inner voice, which can guide decisions and actions.
- Dare to Imagine: Doyle encourages readers to envision a life that aligns with their deepest desires, stating that imagination is crucial for personal and societal change.
What are the best quotes from Untamed and what do they mean?
- “You are not crazy. You are a goddamn cheetah.”: This quote symbolizes the wildness and strength inherent in every woman, urging them to embrace their true nature.
- “We can do hard things.”: This mantra serves as a reminder that facing challenges is part of the human experience, encouraging resilience.
- “Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”: This emphasizes the necessity of prioritizing one's own happiness and authenticity over the expectations of others.
How does Glennon Doyle define "cages" in Untamed?
- Metaphorical Cages: Doyle uses "cages" as a metaphor for societal expectations and norms that restrict women from living authentically.
- Cultural Conditioning: These cages are often created by cultural conditioning, where women are taught to suppress their true selves to fit into predefined roles.
- Breaking Free: Doyle emphasizes the importance of recognizing these cages and finding the courage to break free from them, encouraging readers to reclaim their wildness.
How does Untamed address motherhood?
- Redefining Motherhood: Doyle challenges traditional notions of motherhood, arguing that being a good mother does not mean sacrificing one’s own identity.
- Impact of Divorce: The book discusses the impact of her divorce on her children and how she navigated that transition with honesty and transparency.
- Teaching Resilience: Doyle aims to teach her children resilience by showing them that it’s okay to feel pain and discomfort, modeling bravery through her actions.
What role does love play in Untamed?
- Catalyst for Change: Doyle describes her love for Abby Wambach as a transformative force that awakened her to her true self.
- Authentic Connection: The book illustrates how authentic love allows individuals to be their true selves without fear of judgment.
- Love as Liberation: Doyle argues that love, when genuine, liberates individuals from their cages, encouraging them to embrace their desires.
How does Untamed encourage readers to embrace their wildness?
- Reclaiming Authenticity: Doyle urges readers to reconnect with their wildness, which she defines as their true, unfiltered selves.
- Rejecting Societal Norms: The book encourages individuals to reject societal norms that dictate behavior, emphasizing that true freedom comes from living authentically.
- Celebrating Individuality: Doyle celebrates the uniqueness of each person’s journey and encourages readers to honor their own paths.
How does Glennon Doyle define love in Untamed?
- Love as Freedom: Doyle describes love as a force that should make individuals feel both held and free, allowing for personal growth and authenticity.
- Conditional vs. Unconditional Love: She contrasts conditional love, which often comes with expectations, with unconditional love that accepts individuals as they are.
- Love as Action: Doyle emphasizes that love is not just a feeling but an action that requires effort, understanding, and support.
What is the significance of the title Untamed?
- Breaking Free: The title signifies the journey of breaking free from societal constraints and expectations, representing the idea of living authentically.
- Wildness as Strength: Doyle uses the concept of being "untamed" to illustrate the power of embracing one's wildness and humanity.
- Reclaiming Identity: The title reflects the process of reclaiming one's identity and desires after years of conforming to societal norms.
What is Together Rising, and how is it connected to Untamed?
- Founding Together Rising: Together Rising is a nonprofit organization founded by Glennon Doyle to support women, families, and children in crisis.
- Transforming Heartbreak into Action: The mission is to turn collective heartbreak into effective action, providing resources and support to those in need.
- Community Engagement: Doyle highlights the importance of community involvement and activism, with Together Rising serving as a practical example of making a difference.
How does Glennon Doyle's relationship with Abby Wambach influence Untamed?
- Love and Partnership: Doyle's relationship with Abby serves as a central theme, illustrating the power of love and partnership.
- Challenging Traditional Roles: Their relationship challenges traditional gender roles, showcasing a partnership built on equality and respect.
- Inspiration for Authenticity: Abby's influence inspires Doyle to embrace her own authenticity, encouraging her to live boldly.
Review Summary
Untamed received mixed reviews, with some praising its empowering message and others criticizing its self-righteous tone. Positive reviewers found the book inspirational and liberating, appreciating Doyle's honesty and vulnerability. Critics felt the writing was inauthentic, preachy, and repetitive, with some questioning the author's credibility. Many readers resonated with Doyle's journey of self-discovery and her call to challenge societal expectations, while others found her perspective privileged and lacking depth. The book's format and conversations were also points of contention among readers.
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