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Untamed

Untamed

by Glennon Doyle 2020 302 pages
3.99
400k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Your True Self: Unleash Your Wild and Authentic Nature

I was a goddamn cheetah.

Unleash your inner cheetah. We are all born wild and free, but society often tames us into cages of conformity. Recognizing and embracing our true nature is the first step towards living an authentic life. This involves:

  • Identifying societal expectations that limit us
  • Questioning beliefs that don't align with our inner truth
  • Embracing our unique qualities, even if they don't fit the norm

By reconnecting with our wild selves, we can tap into our full potential and live more fulfilling lives. This process may be uncomfortable at first, but it's essential for personal growth and happiness.

2. Feel It All: Emotions Are the Fuel of Personal Growth

Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even the hard ones.

Embrace all emotions. Many of us are taught to suppress or avoid difficult emotions, but this only stunts our growth. By allowing ourselves to feel everything, we can:

  • Gain valuable insights about ourselves and our needs
  • Develop resilience and emotional intelligence
  • Use pain as a catalyst for personal transformation

Emotions, both positive and negative, are essential parts of the human experience. By embracing them fully, we can navigate life's challenges with greater wisdom and strength.

3. Trust Your Inner Knowing: Listen to Your Intuition

Be Still and Know.

Cultivate inner wisdom. In a world full of noise and conflicting advice, learning to trust your own intuition is crucial. This involves:

  • Creating space for stillness and reflection
  • Recognizing the difference between fear-based thoughts and genuine intuition
  • Acting on your inner guidance, even when it's uncomfortable

By developing a strong connection with your inner knowing, you can make decisions that align with your true self and values. This practice leads to greater confidence, authenticity, and fulfillment in life.

4. Dare to Imagine: Use Your Imagination to Create a Better Life

Imagination is how personal and worldwide revolutions begin.

Harness the power of imagination. Our ability to envision a better future is the first step in creating it. This involves:

  • Challenging limiting beliefs about what's possible
  • Visualizing the life, relationships, and world you want to create
  • Using imagination to solve problems and overcome obstacles

By daring to imagine new possibilities, we can break free from societal constraints and create lives that truly reflect our values and desires. This practice is not just about personal fulfillment, but also about driving positive change in the world around us.

5. Build and Burn: Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

Destruction is essential to construction.

Embrace necessary endings. Growth often requires letting go of old beliefs, relationships, or situations that no longer serve us. This process involves:

  • Identifying aspects of your life that don't align with your true self
  • Having the courage to end or change these aspects
  • Embracing the discomfort of change as a sign of growth

By letting go of what no longer fits, we create space for new opportunities and experiences that align with our authentic selves. This cycle of building and burning is essential for personal evolution and living a life true to our values.

6. Challenge Societal Expectations: Define Your Own Path

Freedom is not being for or against an ideal, but creating your own existence from scratch.

Create your own normal. Society often dictates how we should live, love, and define success. Challenging these norms involves:

  • Questioning societal expectations and cultural norms
  • Defining your own values and priorities
  • Living authentically, even if it means going against the grain

By freeing ourselves from societal expectations, we can create lives that truly reflect our individual desires and values. This may be challenging, but it leads to greater fulfillment and authenticity.

7. Redefine Love and Relationships: Prioritize Self-Love and Authentic Connections

Me and myself: We are till death do us part.

Love yourself first. True love and meaningful relationships start with self-love and self-respect. This involves:

  • Prioritizing your own needs and well-being
  • Setting healthy boundaries in relationships
  • Seeking connections that support your authentic self

By cultivating a strong relationship with yourself, you create a foundation for healthier, more authentic connections with others. This self-love allows you to enter relationships from a place of wholeness rather than seeking completion from others.

8. Parenting with Courage: Empower Your Children to Be Their True Selves

My children do not need me to save them. My children need to watch me save myself.

Model authenticity for your children. Effective parenting isn't about shielding children from life's challenges, but about empowering them to face those challenges with resilience and authenticity. This involves:

  • Demonstrating self-love and self-respect
  • Encouraging children to express their true selves
  • Teaching them to navigate difficult emotions and situations

By parenting with courage and authenticity, we can raise children who are confident, resilient, and true to themselves. This approach prepares them to face life's challenges and live fulfilling lives.

9. Confront Racism and Privilege: Actively Work Towards Social Justice

We must commit to pulling our brothers and sisters out of the river and also commit to going upstream to identify, confront, and hold accountable those who are pushing them in.

Be an active ally. Addressing systemic racism and privilege requires more than just awareness; it demands action. This involves:

  • Educating yourself about systemic racism and privilege
  • Examining your own biases and complicity
  • Actively working to dismantle oppressive systems

By confronting racism and privilege head-on, we can contribute to creating a more just and equitable society. This work is ongoing and requires constant self-reflection and action.

10. Navigate Mental Health: Embrace Your Struggles as Superpowers

The fire that burned me up for the first half of my life is the exact same fire I'm using now to light up the world.

Transform struggles into strengths. Mental health challenges can be reframed as unique perspectives and abilities. This involves:

  • Recognizing the positive aspects of your mental health struggles
  • Using your experiences to develop empathy and creativity
  • Seeking appropriate support and treatment when needed

By embracing our mental health struggles as part of our unique makeup, we can harness them as sources of strength and insight. This perspective allows us to turn our challenges into tools for personal growth and positive impact on the world.

11. Choose Joy: Pursue Your Happiness Without Guilt

I chose Abby. I chose my own joy.

Prioritize your happiness. Choosing joy is not selfish; it's essential for living a fulfilling life and positively impacting others. This involves:

  • Identifying what truly brings you joy
  • Making conscious choices that align with your happiness
  • Letting go of guilt associated with prioritizing your own needs

By choosing joy, we not only improve our own lives but also become better equipped to support and uplift others. This choice often requires courage, especially when it goes against societal expectations, but it's crucial for living an authentic and fulfilling life.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.99 out of 5
Average of 400k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Untamed received mixed reviews, with some praising its empowering message and others criticizing its self-righteous tone. Positive reviewers found the book inspirational and liberating, appreciating Doyle's honesty and vulnerability. Critics felt the writing was inauthentic, preachy, and repetitive, with some questioning the author's credibility. Many readers resonated with Doyle's journey of self-discovery and her call to challenge societal expectations, while others found her perspective privileged and lacking depth. The book's format and conversations were also points of contention among readers.

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About the Author

Glennon Doyle is a bestselling author, activist, and founder of Together Rising, a nonprofit organization. She gained prominence through her memoirs, including "Untamed," "Love Warrior," and "Carry On, Warrior," which explore themes of self-discovery, empowerment, and personal growth. Doyle's work often draws from her experiences with addiction, recovery, and relationships. She is known for her candid writing style and has been dubbed the "patron saint of female empowerment" by People magazine. Doyle hosts the "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast and is actively engaged in philanthropic efforts. She lives in California with her wife, Abby Wambach, and her three children.

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