Wanting

1. Mimetic desire shapes our wants and drives social behavior

We want what other people want because other people want it.

Imitation is fundamental to human nature. From infancy, we learn by imitating others. This extends to our desires - we want things because we see others wanting them. René Girard called this "mimetic desire." It explains why trends catch on, why we suddenly crave what's popular, and how our social circles shape our ambitions.

Models mediate our desires. We don't simply want objects directly. Rather, we want them because someone else - a model - makes them appear desirable. This creates triangular relationships between the subject (us), the model, and the object of desire. Understanding this dynamic reveals the hidden forces behind much of human behavior and culture.

Mimetic desire can be positive or destructive. On one hand, it allows us to learn and develop culture. On the other, it can lead to envy, rivalry, and conflict when we compete for the same objects of desire. Being aware of mimetic influences in our lives allows us to make more intentional choices about what we pursue.

2. We live in either Celebristan or Freshmanistan, affecting how we imitate

There are always models of desire. If you don't know yours, they are probably wreaking havoc in your life.

Celebristan is the world of external mediators - models who are distant or unreachable, like celebrities. We can openly admire and imitate them without threat of rivalry. Freshmanistan is the world of internal mediators - models who are close to us socially. Here, imitation often leads to rivalry and conflict.

In Celebristan:

• Models are distant (e.g. celebrities, historical figures)
• Open imitation is acceptable
• Little risk of direct rivalry

In Freshmanistan:

• Models are socially close (e.g. peers, colleagues)
• Imitation is often hidden or unconscious
• High risk of rivalry and conflict

Social media has expanded Freshmanistan, bringing more potential models into our immediate social sphere. This increases mimetic pressures and rivalries. Being aware of which world we're operating in helps us navigate mimetic influences more skillfully.

3. Scapegoating is a destructive cycle arising from mimetic crises

Each person must ask what his relationship is to the scapegoat.

Mimetic crises occur when rivalries intensify and differences between people break down. As desires converge on the same objects, violence threatens to erupt. Historically, societies have used scapegoating to restore order and diffuse this violence.

The scapegoat mechanism:

1. A mimetic crisis reaches a boiling point
2. The community unites against a scapegoat
3. The scapegoat is expelled or killed
4. Peace is temporarily restored

While effective at containing violence, scapegoating is fundamentally unjust. It sacrifices an innocent victim to preserve social order. Recognizing this mechanism at work in society and in our own behavior is crucial for breaking cycles of violence and blame.

4. Positive flywheels of desire can transform individuals and culture

There are key moments in life when we ask ourselves questions.

Flywheels build momentum through self-reinforcing cycles. This concept applies not just to business, but to our desires and motivations. By intentionally cultivating positive cycles of desire, we can create lasting personal and cultural change.

Elements of a positive desire flywheel:

• Clear, meaningful goals aligned with core values
• Small wins that build confidence and motivation
• Supportive social environments
• Regular reflection and adjustment

Sébastien Bras demonstrated this by renouncing his Michelin stars. By stepping out of the demanding fine dining system, he created space to reconnect with his deeper motivations as a chef. This sparked a new cycle of creativity and fulfillment.

5. Thick desires lead to fulfillment, while thin desires are fleeting

Thick desires are like diamonds that have been formed deep beneath the surface, nearer to the core of the Earth.

Thick desires are rooted in our core values and motivations. They develop slowly over time and lead to lasting fulfillment when pursued. Thin desires are superficial, often mimetically driven, and provide only temporary satisfaction.

Characteristics of thick desires:

• Aligned with personal values and strengths
• Develop gradually through experience
• Provide sustained meaning and motivation

Characteristics of thin desires:

• Easily swayed by trends or social pressure
• Provide only short-term gratification
• Often lead to cycles of craving and disappointment

Fulfillment Stories help uncover our thick desires by revealing patterns in what has brought us deep satisfaction in the past. Reflecting on these experiences can guide us toward more meaningful pursuits.

6. Transcendent leadership inspires noble wants beyond the status quo

Great leaders start and sustain positive cycles of desire.

Transcendent leaders shape desires in ways that elevate individuals and society. Rather than simply responding to existing wants, they inspire people to want more noble, meaningful things. This approach contrasts with immanent leadership, which merely caters to current desires.

Qualities of transcendent leadership:

• Articulates a compelling vision beyond the status quo
• Models desires that serve a greater good
• Creates environments that nurture positive cycles of desire
• Empowers others to discover and pursue their thick desires

Historical examples include Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech and John F. Kennedy's moonshot goal. These leaders didn't just respond to what people already wanted - they expanded the realm of what was desirable and possible.

7. Managing mimesis is key to shaping a better future

What we'll want in the future depends on the choices we make today.

Mimetic forces are accelerating in our hyper-connected world. This creates both risks and opportunities. Left unchecked, mimetic desire can lead to increased rivalry, polarization, and conflict. However, by understanding and intentionally shaping these dynamics, we can create more positive cycles of desire.

Strategies for managing mimesis:

• Cultivate self-awareness about our models and desires
• Create spaces for reflection and silent contemplation
• Seek out diverse influences to broaden our horizons
• Intentionally model and reinforce positive desires
• Build systems and cultures that reward meaningful pursuits

The future will be shaped by what we collectively come to want. By taking responsibility for our own desires and how we influence others, we can play a part in creating a more fulfilling, less rivalrous world.

Last updated: January 24, 2025