We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook

1. Embrace the Journey: Preparing for Fatherhood from Day One

"Women become mothers the moment they find out they're pregnant, and most men become fathers when they first hold their babies for the first time—but there are nine months in between."

Be proactive. From the moment you learn about the pregnancy, take ownership of your role as a father-to-be. This means educating yourself about pregnancy, fetal development, and childbirth. Attend prenatal appointments, ask questions, and actively participate in decisions regarding your baby's health and well-being.

Emotional preparation. Acknowledge and address any fears or anxieties you may have about becoming a father. Talk openly with your partner, friends who are parents, or consider joining a support group for expectant fathers. Remember that it's normal to feel a mix of excitement and apprehension.

• Read books on pregnancy and parenting
• Download pregnancy tracking apps
• Attend childbirth classes together
• Practice relaxation techniques to manage stress

2. Support Your Partner: Understanding Pregnancy's Physical and Emotional Changes

"Encourage a healthy lifestyle: The party's over, Wayne! Remind her how important it is to avoid things like smoking and booze!"

Physical support. Your partner's body will undergo significant changes throughout pregnancy. Be attentive to her needs and help her maintain a healthy lifestyle. This includes encouraging proper nutrition, regular exercise (as approved by her doctor), and adequate rest.

Emotional support. Pregnancy can be an emotional rollercoaster due to hormonal changes and the anticipation of parenthood. Be patient, understanding, and a good listener. Offer reassurance and affection, and be prepared for mood swings.

• Help with household chores and errands
• Accompany her to prenatal appointments
• Prepare healthy meals together
• Practice relaxation techniques or prenatal yoga as a couple
• Be mindful of her changing body image and offer compliments
• Educate yourself about common pregnancy discomforts and how to alleviate them

3. Active Involvement: Attending Appointments and Making Decisions Together

"Communicate with your partner and insist on going with her once the first prenatal visit is scheduled—the experience of easing the stress and holding hands in the waiting room is a memory and feeling that you'll never forget."

Be present. Attend as many prenatal appointments as possible. This shows your commitment and allows you to stay informed about your baby's development and any potential concerns. Take an active role in asking questions and understanding the information provided by healthcare professionals.

Collaborative decision-making. Work together with your partner to make important decisions about your pregnancy and childbirth experience. This includes choosing a healthcare provider, deciding on prenatal testing, and creating a birth plan.

• Keep a shared calendar of appointments and milestones
• Prepare questions for healthcare providers together
• Research and discuss options for prenatal testing, birthing methods, and pain management
• Consider taking a childbirth education class as a couple
• Discuss preferences for the birth experience and create a flexible birth plan

4. Creating a Nurturing Environment: Preparing Your Home and Lifestyle

"Begin working on the nursery: In case you haven't taken notice, Mom might be tearing apart the house, washing, drying, folding, and organizing and reorganizing the closets. This is called 'nesting,' and it rides shotgun with most pregnancies."

Prepare your home. Work together to create a safe and comfortable environment for your baby. This includes setting up the nursery, babyproofing your home, and ensuring you have all necessary supplies and equipment.

Lifestyle adjustments. Consider how your lifestyle will need to change to accommodate a new baby. This may include financial planning, adjusting work schedules, and discussing parenting philosophies with your partner.

• Research and purchase essential baby gear
• Create a baby registry for items you still need
• Babyproof your home well before the due date
• Discuss childcare options and parental leave plans
• Create a budget for baby-related expenses
• Consider life insurance and estate planning

5. Bonding with Your Baby: Starting Early and Continuing After Birth

"Grab your tap shoes, top hat, cane, and whatever old theater props you have left over from high school or college and warm up the living room stage to offer some entertainment for this little developing mind."

Prenatal bonding. Start forming a connection with your baby before birth. Talk, sing, or read to your partner's belly. Attend ultrasound appointments to see your baby's development firsthand.

Postnatal bonding. After birth, actively participate in caring for your newborn. This includes skin-to-skin contact, diaper changes, feeding (if bottle-feeding or expressed breast milk), and soothing techniques. These early interactions help establish a strong father-child bond.

• Play music or tell stories to your partner's belly
• Feel the baby's movements and kicks
• Keep a pregnancy journal or document the journey through photos and videos
• Learn infant care techniques before birth
• Practice kangaroo care (skin-to-skin contact) with your newborn
• Take an active role in feeding, diaper changes, and soothing

6. Navigating Labor and Delivery: Being a Supportive Birth Partner

"Be the rock: Provide reassurance to your partner that you're going to be with her 100 percent of the way."

Prepare for the big day. Familiarize yourself with the signs of labor and what to expect during the birthing process. Pack a hospital bag well in advance and know the route to the hospital or birthing center.

Be a supportive presence. During labor and delivery, your role is to provide emotional support, physical comfort, and advocacy for your partner's needs and preferences. Stay calm, offer encouragement, and be prepared to make decisions if complications arise.

• Review the birth plan together and be prepared to advocate for your partner's preferences
• Learn comfort measures and relaxation techniques to support your partner during labor
• Understand the stages of labor and what to expect
• Pack essentials for both you and your partner in the hospital bag
• Be prepared to communicate with medical staff and family members
• Stay flexible and adaptable, as birth plans may change

7. The Fourth Trimester: Adjusting to Life with a Newborn

"To say that you're going to be sleep deprived for a few weeks is an understatement."

Support breastfeeding. If your partner chooses to breastfeed, educate yourself on how to support her. This may include helping with positioning, ensuring she stays hydrated and well-nourished, and taking on other household responsibilities to allow her to focus on feeding.

Share nighttime duties. Work out a plan to share nighttime feedings and diaper changes, especially if your partner is breastfeeding. This might mean bringing the baby to her for nighttime feedings or taking turns with bottle-feeding.

• Learn about normal newborn behavior and development
• Be vigilant about postpartum mood disorders in both you and your partner
• Establish a routine for feeding, sleeping, and daily activities
• Take turns with baby care to allow each other to rest
• Limit visitors in the early weeks to allow for bonding and recovery
• Attend postnatal check-ups together

8. Balancing Responsibilities: Sharing Parenting Duties and Self-Care

"Self-care is still of the utmost importance. Take a moment to meditate or go on a quick run to keep you sane."

Equal partnership. Strive for an equal division of parenting and household responsibilities. This may require ongoing communication and adjustment as you both adapt to your new roles.

Self-care. Remember to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. A well-rested, healthy parent is better equipped to care for a newborn. Make time for exercise, proper nutrition, and activities that help you relax and recharge.

• Regularly check in with your partner about the division of responsibilities
• Create a shared calendar for baby care, household chores, and personal time
• Take turns allowing each other to pursue individual interests or hobbies
• Maintain open communication about your needs and challenges
• Seek support from family, friends, or professional resources when needed
• Schedule regular date nights or quality time together to nurture your relationship

Last updated: January 25, 2025