What Every Body is Saying

1. Nonverbal communication is the unspoken language of the body

Nonverbal communication, often referred to as nonverbal behavior or body language, is a means of transmitting information—just like the spoken word—except it is achieved through facial expressions, gestures, touching (haptics), physical movements (kinesics), posture, body adornment (clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, tattoos, etc.), and even the tone, timbre, and volume of an individual's voice (rather than spoken content).

Silent signals speak volumes. Nonverbal communication encompasses a wide range of behaviors that convey information without the use of words. These behaviors include facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch, and the use of space. They can reveal a person's true feelings, attitudes, and intentions, often more accurately than their words.

Cultural and universal cues. While some nonverbal behaviors are culturally specific, many are universal across cultures. For example, expressions of happiness, sadness, anger, and fear are recognized worldwide. Understanding these cues can greatly enhance communication and interpersonal relationships in both personal and professional settings.

Universal nonverbal cues:

• Smiling to express happiness
• Frowning to show sadness or disapproval
• Crossed arms indicating defensiveness
• Leaning in to show interest
• Maintaining eye contact to convey attentiveness

2. The limbic brain governs our most honest nonverbal behaviors

Since these reactions occur without thought, unlike words, they are genuine.

Instinctive responses reveal truth. The limbic system, often called the "emotional brain," is responsible for our most primal and honest reactions. Unlike the neocortex, which controls conscious thought and can be used to deceive, the limbic brain responds automatically to stimuli, producing involuntary nonverbal behaviors that are difficult to fake or suppress.

Three F's of limbic response. When faced with a threat or stressful situation, the limbic brain triggers one of three responses: freeze, flight, or fight. These responses manifest in various nonverbal behaviors:

• Freeze: Becoming suddenly still or rigid
• Flight: Leaning away, creating distance, or preparing to leave
• Fight: Aggressive posturing, clenching fists, or invading personal space

Understanding these limbic responses can help in interpreting others' true feelings and intentions, especially in high-stress situations or during important interactions.

3. Comfort and discomfort signals reveal true emotions and intentions

Since these are outward signals that can be read in real time, we can observe and decode them immediately and in context.

Body language of ease and unease. Comfort signals indicate that a person feels safe, confident, and at ease in their current situation. Discomfort signals, on the other hand, suggest stress, anxiety, or disagreement. By observing these cues, we can gain valuable insights into a person's emotional state and adjust our approach accordingly.

Pacifying behaviors as stress indicators. When experiencing discomfort, people often engage in pacifying behaviors to soothe themselves. These can include:

• Touching or rubbing the neck
• Playing with jewelry or hair
• Fidgeting with objects
• Adjusting clothing
• Biting lips or the inside of cheeks

Recognizing these behaviors can help identify topics or situations that cause stress for others, allowing for more empathetic and effective communication.

4. The feet and legs are the most honest parts of the body

Why are the feet and legs such accurate reflectors of our sentiments? For millions of years, long before humans spoke, our legs and feet reacted to environmental threats (e.g., hot sand, meandering snakes, ill-tempered lions) instantaneously, without the need for conscious thought.

Lower limbs reveal hidden truths. The feet and legs are often overlooked in nonverbal communication, but they can provide the most accurate information about a person's true feelings and intentions. This is because they are furthest from the brain and often move instinctively, without conscious control.

Key foot and leg behaviors to observe:

• Happy feet: Bouncing or wiggling feet indicate excitement or positivity
• Foot direction: Feet pointing towards a person show interest, away show discomfort
• Leg crossing: Can indicate comfort or creating a barrier
• Stance: Wide stance suggests confidence, narrow stance indicates insecurity
• Foot tapping: Often a sign of impatience or anxiety

By paying attention to these lower body cues, you can gain valuable insights into a person's emotional state and intentions, even when their words or facial expressions may be saying something different.

5. Arm and hand gestures provide valuable insights into a person's state of mind

Because our hands can execute very delicate movements, they can reflect very subtle nuances within the brain.

Hands speak louder than words. Hand and arm gestures are powerful communicators of emotion and intention. They can emphasize points, express feelings, and even contradict what a person is saying verbally. Observing these gestures can provide valuable clues about a person's true thoughts and feelings.

Key hand and arm gestures to watch for:

• Steepling: Fingertips touching in a pyramid shape, indicates confidence
• Palm-down gesture: Authoritative or dominant
• Palm-up gesture: Open, receptive, or submissive
• Crossed arms: Defensive or closed off
• Hand-wringing: Nervous or anxious
• Thumb displays: Confidence (thumbs up) or insecurity (thumbs hidden)

Understanding these gestures can help in interpreting a person's emotional state and level of comfort in various situations, from business negotiations to personal conversations.

6. Facial expressions can both reveal and conceal emotions

While our faces can be very honest in displaying how we feel, they do not always necessarily represent our true sentiments.

The face: A canvas of emotion. Facial expressions are powerful communicators of emotion, capable of conveying a wide range of feelings instantly and universally. However, the face is also the part of the body most under conscious control, making it possible for people to mask their true emotions or even fake expressions.

Key facial cues to observe:

• Microexpressions: Brief, involuntary expressions that reveal true emotions
• Eye behavior: Pupil dilation, blinking rate, and eye movement can indicate interest, stress, or deception
• Mouth movements: Lip compression, pursing, or biting can signal discomfort or disagreement
• Forehead and eyebrows: Furrowing or raising can show confusion, surprise, or skepticism

To accurately interpret facial expressions, it's crucial to look for clusters of behaviors and consider the context in which they occur. Pay attention to inconsistencies between facial expressions and other nonverbal cues or spoken words, as these can indicate deception or internal conflict.

7. Detecting deception requires careful observation of multiple nonverbal cues

There is no method, no machine, no test, no person that is 100 percent accurate at uncovering deception.

Deception detection is complex. Contrary to popular belief, there is no single, foolproof way to detect lies through body language. Deception detection requires careful observation of multiple nonverbal cues, consideration of context, and an understanding of the individual's baseline behavior.

Key principles for detecting deception:

• Look for clusters of behaviors, not single cues
• Establish a baseline of normal behavior for the individual
• Pay attention to changes in behavior when discussing certain topics
• Consider the context and potential reasons for stress or discomfort
• Focus on signs of cognitive load, as lying requires more mental effort
• Be aware of cultural differences in nonverbal communication

Remember that many behaviors associated with lying (such as avoiding eye contact or fidgeting) can also be signs of nervousness or discomfort in honest individuals. Always approach deception detection with caution and seek additional evidence before drawing conclusions.

Last updated: January 22, 2025