What It Takes To Be Free

1. Freedom is living life on your own terms.

Freedom means living life on your terms.

Defining freedom. True freedom isn't just a concept; it's a tangible reality where you dictate the course of your days and life. It's about waking up and deciding what you want to do, free from unwanted obligations and crushing stress. This definition transcends superficial markers of success like status, expensive cars, or big houses.

Technology's role. The modern world, driven by technology, offers unprecedented opportunities for freedom. Remote work and access to information empower individuals to design lives aligned with their values. However, many remain trapped by obligations, debt, and societal pressures, chasing a definition of success that isn't their own.

Personal definition. The journey to freedom begins with introspection. What does freedom mean to you? Don't feel guilty for wanting something different from the norm. The first step is to identify your personal definition of freedom, unburdened by external expectations.

2. Core values are the compass guiding your freedom.

Freedom starts with knowing who you are and what you want.

Knowing yourself. Freedom isn't just about doing what you want; it's about knowing why you want it. Without a clear understanding of your core values, you're easily swayed by external forces, living a life dictated by others. Core values are the rules you set for yourself, the principles that guide your decisions.

Values as a process. Understanding yourself is an ongoing journey, not a destination. People change, and your values may evolve over time. Embrace this evolution and continuously re-evaluate what's important to you. This dynamic self-awareness is crucial for maintaining a life aligned with your true self.

Dangerous freedom. Without values, freedom can be a dangerous concept. It's not about doing whatever you want without regard for others. Core values provide the ethical framework for responsible freedom, ensuring that your actions contribute to the common good.

3. Self-sacrifice hinders true freedom.

To be truly free, you have to put your own wellbeing first.

Prioritizing yourself. The path to freedom requires a fundamental shift in perspective: prioritizing your own well-being. This isn't selfishness; it's self-preservation. You can't effectively help others if you're depleted and unfulfilled. A strong, stable you is the greatest gift you can offer the world.

Sacrifice's trap. We often sacrifice our own desires for others, believing it's the right thing to do. Staying in a draining relationship, taking a job you hate, or suppressing your dreams to please others ultimately leads to resentment and a loss of freedom. These sacrifices erode your well-being and prevent you from living authentically.

Accountability and strength. The ultimate way to make yourself useful is by being an accountable, responsible, strong, and stable human being. No one wants a weak person in their lives that always has to depend on others. No one likes to be weak and to be taken care of. Humans are independent and free.

4. Embrace pain as a pathway to liberation.

If you truly want to become free, you must accept pain as a natural part of life.

Avoiding discomfort. We dedicate much of our lives to avoiding discomfort, pain, and suffering, but this avoidance is a trap. True freedom lies in accepting pain as an inevitable part of life. It's through overcoming challenges and enduring hardship that we grow and become resilient.

Pain's purpose. Pain isn't something to be feared; it's a signal that you're pushing your boundaries and growing. Nothing worthwhile in life comes without effort and sacrifice. Comfort is a death sentence; growth requires doing hard things.

Welcoming pain. Use the pain in your life as fuel for change. Whether it's dissatisfaction with your job, a broken relationship, or a feeling of unfulfilled potential, embrace that pain and let it drive you towards freedom. On the other side of suffering is liberation.

5. Social obligations can be chains; choose wisely.

When you feel you’re obligated to say yes to a friend, or that you have to behave a certain way around your friends, you’re not free.

Fitting in vs. being yourself. Social obligations often restrict our freedom. Feeling pressured to say yes to invitations or conform to certain behaviors around friends means you're not being accepted for who you truly are. True friendship is about acceptance, not conformity.

Value alignment. The key to healthy relationships is shared values. If you and your friends have fundamentally different values, it will be difficult to connect on a deep level. Don't be afraid to spend less time with those who don't align with your values and seek out those who accept you for who you are.

Saying no. You can't please everyone. Saying yes to every social obligation leads to frustration and a loss of freedom. Prioritize your own well-being and don't be afraid to decline invitations that don't align with your values or goals.

6. Guilt is a signal, not a sentence.

Our society believes that selfishness is bad. But evolution thinks it’s good.

Selfishness vs. self-care. Society often equates selfishness with negativity, but prioritizing your own well-being is essential for survival and freedom. You can't effectively help others if you're neglecting your own needs. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it's responsible.

Guilt's message. Guilt can be a valuable signal, indicating that you're acting against your values or harming others. However, feeling guilty for making decisions that improve your life is unnecessary. A free person acts with good intentions and doesn't feel guilty for pursuing their own well-being.

Contributing value. A free person wants good for all. Hence, a free person should always act with good intentions. And good intentions do not make you feel guilty. When you develop yourself, you can provide value.

7. Release the pressure of societal success.

If you experience the pressure to become successful according to any definition that’s not your own, you’re not free.

Defining success. Societal pressure to achieve a certain type of success – degree, job, marriage, wealth – can be a major obstacle to freedom. Don't let external expectations dictate your path. Define success on your own terms, based on your values and desires.

Imaginary deadlines. We often create imaginary deadlines for ourselves, feeling pressured to achieve certain milestones by a certain age. These deadlines can lead to rushed decisions and a sense of being trapped. Release yourself from these artificial constraints and focus on living in the present.

Authenticity over appearance. People who try too hard to appear successful are often trying to convince themselves. A free person doesn't need to show off; they simply are free. Focus on living authentically, not on projecting an image of success.

8. Uncertainty is the only certainty; accept it.

To find true freedom in life, we must accept that life is unstable.

The illusion of control. We crave certainty and stability, but life is inherently uncertain. Jobs disappear, economies collapse, and relationships end. Trying to control the uncontrollable is a recipe for anxiety and frustration.

Embracing change. A free person welcomes uncertainty. Adapting to change is real freedom. That will not only make you free, it will also make you less susceptible to the things an unfree person fears.

Responsibility, not recklessness. Accepting uncertainty doesn't mean abandoning responsibility. It means acknowledging that anything can happen and preparing yourself to deal with it. Focus on what you can control – your attitude, your skills, and your actions – and let go of the rest.

9. Mindless entertainment is a thief of time and freedom.

For most of my life I fulfilled my obligations and then looked for ways to be distracted or entertained.

The distraction trap. We often fill our free time with mindless entertainment, seeking distraction from the challenges of life. While relaxation is important, excessive entertainment can become a trap, preventing us from pursuing our goals and living authentically.

Meaningful relaxation. Instead of seeking mindless entertainment, find ways to relax in a meaningful way. Read, watch inspirational movies, have deep conversations with friends – engage in activities that nourish your mind and soul.

Purposeful living. Commit to using your time intentionally, focusing on activities that bring you closer to your goals. This purposeful living will give you a sense of direction and fulfillment, making you less susceptible to boredom and the allure of mindless entertainment.

10. Anger and resentment are prisons of the mind.

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

The power of anger. Anger and resentment can consume your thoughts and emotions, trapping you in a cycle of negativity. Holding onto these feelings is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Letting go. To be free, you need to give up anger and resentment. Commit to never staying angry for longer than is necessary. Let anger serve a purpose – to motivate you to take action – but don't let it control your life.

Focus on the positive. There is so much beauty here. And I enjoy small things. But when you’re angry, you forget about everything. To be free, you need to give up anger. Commit to never staying angry for longer than is necessary. Let anger serve a purpose. Sometimes it’s helpful. But mostly, it merely destroys your lust for life.

11. Debt is a shackle; financial freedom is key.

What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience?

Living below your means. Debt is a major obstacle to freedom. Borrowing money for unnecessary purchases creates a cycle of obligation and stress. Commit to living below your means and avoiding debt whenever possible.

The Freedom Fund. Build a Freedom Fund – a pile of cash you can always fall back on. This fund provides a sense of security and empowers you to make choices that align with your values, even if they involve financial risk.

Skills over possessions. The best way to achieve financial freedom is to acquire skills that produce income. Focus on developing valuable skills that you can exchange for money, rather than accumulating possessions that create debt.

12. Planning and action are the architects of freedom.

Wishing, hoping, wanting, talking—it’s all useless without action.

Action over intention. Freedom requires more than just good intentions; it requires consistent action. A well-thought-out plan is essential for guiding your actions and ensuring that you're moving towards your goals.

Planning for failure. Planning is not only important if you want to achieve results. Planning for failure is what keeps you going. While most people give up when they experience setbacks, a person with a plan knows what to do.

The freedom plan. The journey to freedom is a continuous process of self-discovery, planning, and action. By establishing your core values, building a Freedom Fund, eliminating what makes you miserable, and continuously improving yourself, you can create a life of purpose, meaning, and true freedom.

Last updated: April 17, 2025