Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter?

1. Imposter Syndrome: A Common Experience Among High Achievers

"Despite their earned degrees, scholastic honours, high achievement on standardized tests, praise and professional recognition from colleagues and respected authorities… [they] do not experience an internal sense of success. They consider themselves to be "impostors"."

Widespread phenomenon. Imposter Syndrome (IS) affects approximately 70% of people at some point in their lives, particularly high achievers. It is characterized by:

• Belief that others overestimate one's abilities
• Fear of being exposed as a fraud
• Attributing success to external factors like luck

Types of imposters. Dr. Valerie Young identified five types of imposters:

• The Perfectionist: Sets unrealistically high goals
• The Superwoman/Superman: Tries to excel in all roles
• The Natural Genius: Believes competence should come easily
• The Rugged Individualist: Feels asking for help proves inadequacy
• The Expert: Believes they should know everything in their field

2. The Root Causes: Low Self-Esteem and Societal Pressures

"Core beliefs are beliefs or values about ourselves that we learn from others and unconsciously make part of our nature."

Self-esteem impact. Low self-esteem is a key underlying cause of Imposter Syndrome, often stemming from childhood experiences:

• Disapproving or overly controlling parents
• Lack of attention from caregivers
• Bullying
• Poor academic achievement
• Unfavorable comparisons to others

Societal factors. Modern society contributes to the prevalence of IS through:

• Increased social comparison via social media
• Pressure to appear successful and competent at all times
• Rapid technological changes leading to feelings of inadequacy
• Celebration of overnight success stories, setting unrealistic expectations

3. Women in the Workplace: Battling Confidence Gaps and Stereotypes

"Despite being high achievers… women can't seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are … impostors with limited skills or abilities."

Confidence gap. Women often experience a larger confidence gap in the workplace:

• More likely to doubt their abilities and underestimate their competence
• Less likely to apply for promotions or negotiate salaries
• Tend to attribute success to external factors more than men

Societal expectations. Women face unique challenges due to gender stereotypes:

• Success often defined in traditionally male terms
• Role incongruity when women take on leadership positions
• Pressure to balance work and family life perfectly

4. Men and Imposter Syndrome: The Hidden Struggle

"While both men and women suffer from Impostor Syndrome, more women than men experience it…"

Masculinity pressures. Men face unique challenges with IS due to societal expectations:

• Pressure to appear confident and competent at all times
• Reluctance to admit vulnerability or seek help
• Fear of being seen as less masculine if experiencing self-doubt

Mental health stigma. Men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues:

• Only 40% of men with PTSD reported interest in accessing services
• Fear of appearing weak or emotionally vulnerable
• Higher rates of substance abuse and suicide as maladaptive coping mechanisms

5. Social Media: Amplifying Insecurities and Comparisons

"62 per cent of people claim that social media sites make them feel inadequate about their own life or achievements."

Curated reality. Social media contributes to IS by:

• Presenting edited highlights of others' lives
• Encouraging constant comparison with a wide range of people
• Providing instant and pervasive access to others' successes

Validation seeking. The pursuit of likes and engagement can:

• Reinforce feelings of inadequacy
• Create a cycle of seeking external validation
• Lead to discrepancies between online persona and real-life experiences

6. Parenting and Imposter Syndrome: The Pressure for Perfection

"80 per cent of Millennial mums in an American study maintained that it's important to be 'the perfect mom' (compared with 70 per cent of the previous generation – Generation X parents)."

Intensive parenting. Modern parenting trends contribute to IS:

• Emphasis on "concerted cultivation" and constant enrichment
• Pressure to provide perfect experiences and opportunities
• Social media amplifying comparison and competition among parents

Insecurity cycle. Parental insecurity can lead to:

• Overcompensation and helicopter parenting
• Difficulty trusting instincts and making decisions
• Projecting insecurities onto children, perpetuating the cycle

7. Academic Pressures: Fostering Imposter Feelings in Students

"82 per cent of primary schools in the UK reported an increase in mental health issues among primary school children around the time of the SATS."

Testing culture. Increased focus on standardized testing contributes to IS:

• Early and frequent assessments creating pressure from a young age
• Setting expectations that may be difficult to maintain as students mature
• Fostering a culture of comparison and competition

High achiever burden. Successful students often face unique challenges:

• Pressure to maintain high performance levels
• Fear of not living up to early promise or expectations
• Difficulty adjusting to more competitive academic environments

8. Coping Strategies: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

"The first steps to managing IS, which can be very debilitating in terms of self-confidence and self-esteem as well being harmful to career progression, are to recognize and understand it, and learn to spot its triggers."

Self-awareness. Recognizing and understanding IS is crucial:

• Identify personal triggers and thought patterns
• Challenge negative self-talk and cognitive distortions
• Acknowledge accomplishments and internalize positive feedback

Practical techniques:

• Keep a "success journal" to document achievements
• Practice self-compassion and accept imperfection
• Seek support from mentors or therapy
• Limit social media use and curate a positive online environment
• Set realistic goals and celebrate small wins
• Share experiences with others to normalize the feelings

Last updated: July 21, 2024