Women Who Love Psychopaths

1. Psychopaths are masters of deception, often undetected in society

"Psychopaths are such excellent imposters that they can live their entire lives behind what Cleckley called the "Mask of Sanity" and never be detected."

Hidden in plain sight. Psychopaths blend seamlessly into society, often holding prestigious positions in law, medicine, politics, and business. Their charm, charisma, and ability to mimic normal behavior make them difficult to identify. This "mask of sanity" allows them to operate undetected, causing immense harm to those around them.

Prevalence and impact. It's estimated that 1 in 25 people have a "no conscience" disorder, with potentially 8 million psychopaths in the U.S. alone. Their impact extends far beyond their immediate victims, affecting families, workplaces, and communities. Psychopaths are often:

• Charming and engaging
• Successful in their careers
• Non-violent (contrary to popular belief)
• Skilled at manipulation and deception
• Lacking in empathy and remorse

2. Women with specific traits are more vulnerable to psychopathic relationships

"These are a formidable group of women who have knowledge, education, and strength."

Super traits. Women who become involved with psychopaths often possess a unique set of personality traits that make them both attractive to psychopaths and vulnerable to their manipulation:

• High empathy and compassion
• Strong attachment and bonding tendencies
• Cooperative and tolerant nature
• High levels of trust
• Resourcefulness and goal-orientation
• Competitiveness

Risk factors. These traits, while positive in many contexts, become liabilities when paired with a psychopath's manipulative tactics. The women's high empathy allows them to excuse the psychopath's behavior, while their strong attachment keeps them invested in the relationship even when faced with abuse or betrayal.

3. Intense attraction and bonding in psychopathic relationships have neurochemical roots

"When she was feeling hot and lusty? It wasn't his cologne, it was mostly testosterone."

Chemical cocktail. The intense attraction and bonding experienced in psychopathic relationships have a strong neurochemical basis. Key players include:

• Oxytocin: The "bonding hormone" released during intimacy
• Dopamine: Creates feelings of pleasure and reward
• Serotonin: Affects mood and emotional stability
• Testosterone: Influences sexual attraction and arousal

Manipulated biology. Psychopaths exploit these natural biological responses to create an addiction-like attachment. The frequent highs and lows in the relationship trigger a roller coaster of neurochemical reactions, reinforcing the emotional bond even in the face of abuse or betrayal.

4. Psychopaths use trance and hypnosis techniques to manipulate their partners

"Psychopaths are naturals at using these techniques."

Covert manipulation. Psychopaths employ various trance and hypnosis techniques to manipulate their partners, often without formal training. These methods include:

• Intense eye contact ("the psychopathic stare")
• Rapid pace of relationship development
• Love bombing and idealization
• Gaslighting and reality distortion
• Storytelling and future-faking

Heightened suggestibility. Women in these relationships often become highly suggestible due to:

• Sleep deprivation
• Emotional exhaustion
• Isolation from support systems
• Constant stress and anxiety

This increased suggestibility makes them more vulnerable to the psychopath's manipulative tactics and reinforces the trauma bond.

5. The relationship follows a pattern: idealization, devaluation, and discard

"Just what is the relationship like as the couple heads into the middle portion of their time together?"

Idealization phase. The relationship begins with intense passion and seeming perfection. The psychopath:

• Showers the woman with attention and affection
• Mirrors her interests and values
• Presents as the "perfect partner"

Devaluation phase. As the mask slips, the psychopath's true nature emerges:

• Emotional abuse and manipulation increase
• Gaslighting and reality distortion become common
• The woman's self-esteem is systematically undermined

Discard phase. The relationship ends, often abruptly:

• The psychopath may leave for a new target
• If the woman leaves, she faces potential stalking or revenge
• Cycle may repeat with attempts at reconciliation

This pattern creates a traumatic bond, making it difficult for the woman to leave or heal from the relationship.

6. Cognitive dissonance and trauma bonding keep women trapped

"Women describe the disengagement like they have crawled out of a grave, heaving themselves onto safe ground—gasping for air that is not filled with the pathology and dichotomies of him."

Cognitive dissonance. Women in psychopathic relationships experience intense cognitive dissonance, holding two conflicting beliefs simultaneously:

• The idealized version of their partner
• The abusive reality they experience

This mental conflict creates confusion and emotional turmoil, making it difficult to leave the relationship.

Trauma bonding. Similar to Stockholm Syndrome, trauma bonding occurs when:

• The woman perceives a real threat to her survival
• The psychopath shows intermittent kindness
• She becomes isolated from outside perspectives
• She believes she cannot escape

These psychological mechanisms, combined with the neurochemical addiction, create a powerful trap that keeps women in these toxic relationships far longer than outsiders can understand.

7. Recovery requires understanding psychopathy and rebuilding self-identity

"Recovery is an even greater challenge for these women who bear so much physical and psychological damage."

Pathology education. Understanding the nature of psychopathy is crucial for recovery. Women need to learn about:

• The permanence of psychopathic traits
• The inevitability of harm in these relationships
• How to recognize red flags in future interactions

Symptom management. Many women experience severe aftermath symptoms, including:

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
• Depression and anxiety
• Intrusive thoughts and cognitive dissonance
• Physical health problems

Rebuilding identity. Recovery involves:

• Reconnecting with pre-relationship strengths and values
• Developing healthy boundaries
• Learning to trust one's own perceptions again
• Addressing patterns that led to vulnerability

Professional support from therapists trained in psychopathic abuse recovery is often necessary for full healing. Support groups and continued education about psychopathy can also play a crucial role in preventing future victimization.

Last updated: October 18, 2024