You Can Buy Happiness (and It's Cheap)

1. Materialism Doesn't Buy Lasting Happiness

Extensive research has linked unhappiness and negative emotions with a materialistic mindset.

Temporary pleasure. Buying new things provides only a temporary boost in happiness, a phenomenon researchers call the "hedonic treadmill," where you constantly adapt and need more to feel the same level of pleasure. This cycle often leads to debt and stress, offering a poor return on investment for long-term well-being. Studies show that despite increased material wealth, happiness levels in countries like the U.S. haven't risen since the 1950s.

Misplaced emphasis. A focus on material wealth as an indicator of well-being is misplaced; countries with less emphasis on materialism often rank higher in happiness indexes. Research consistently links strong materialistic values with lower life satisfaction, higher rates of depression and anxiety, and even physical problems. Materialism distracts from the true sources of happiness: strong relationships and meaningful work.

Contrasting stories. The author's mother grew up with significant material wealth but witnessed unhappiness and conflict fueled by money and consumption. In contrast, a friend who grew up with less money but received time, love, and attention from her parents felt secure and loved, highlighting that connection, not possessions, is what truly matters for childhood happiness. Voluntary simplicity, or intentionally living with less, has been shown in surveys to correlate with increased happiness.

2. Stuff and Debt Limit Your Freedom

As I found, the stuff you own owns you.

The burden of stuff. Americans accumulate vast amounts of stuff, evidenced by the proliferation of self-storage facilities, which outnumber McDonald's and Starbucks combined. This constant acquisition, often fueled by advertising and the temporary high of shopping, leads to significant debt. The average American family pays thousands annually just to service credit card debt, perpetuating a cycle of working harder just to keep up.

Emotional and physical cost. Debt has a profound negative impact on physical and mental health, linked to increased stress, anxiety, and depression, regardless of income level. The shame and despair associated with debt can be overwhelming. The author experienced this firsthand, using shopping to numb feelings about debt and a dissatisfying job, leading to arguments and depression.

Narrowing choices. The work-spend treadmill, driven by debt and the desire for more stuff, severely limits freedom of choice. Working longer hours to pay bills leaves less time for pursuing passions, spending time with loved ones, engaging in community, or making career changes. This cycle erodes civic life and personal relationships, pushing people towards solitary, consumerist activities instead of meaningful connections.

3. Simplifying Your Relationship with Possessions Is a Process

As you shed your excess stuff, you’ll feel lighter, more free.

Beyond acquisition. A significant part of simplifying life involves simplifying your relationship with material possessions, which often requires confronting emotional attachments and perceived identity tied to stuff. The time spent acquiring, cleaning, organizing, and managing belongings is substantial, taking away from activities that truly bring happiness. Shedding excess stuff frees up this time and energy.

Overcoming resistance. Letting go of possessions can be difficult, often met with the thought, "You might need it someday!" However, this fear of future need keeps you tied to the past and prevents you from fully living in the present. The author's journey involved multiple stages of downsizing, starting with small steps and gradually letting go of more, including items with sentimental value or those representing past identities (like skis or a diamond ring).

Finding freedom. Downsizing isn't about deprivation but about gaining freedom from the burden of excess. Stories like Matt's, who sold most of his belongings to fund cooking school, illustrate how shedding stuff can unlock resources and opportunities to pursue dreams. Research suggests that people hold onto possessions for a sense of security, but increasing one's sense of security through strong relationships can reduce the value placed on material goods.

4. Eliminating Debt Unlocks Freedom

Getting out of debt and simplifying are two sides of the same coin.

The debt burden. Debt, whether from student loans, car payments, or credit cards, creates significant stress and limits life choices. The author and her husband were saddled with $30,000 in debt, feeling stuck and unable to pursue their dreams, despite working hard. Their cars, in particular, represented a major annual expense that contributed significantly to their financial strain.

Taking control. To combat debt, the author and her husband began by honestly assessing their income and expenses, realizing their cars were a major drain. They started setting goals and visualizing a future free from debt. This led to a gradual shift towards a car-lite and eventually car-free lifestyle, which, while initially challenging, significantly reduced their expenses and freed up money to pay down debt.

A path forward. Strategies like the "debt snowball method," focusing on paying off smaller debts first to build momentum, can make the process feel manageable. Increasing income through freelance work or side hustles can also accelerate debt repayment. Ultimately, getting out of debt is deeply intertwined with simplifying; living with less naturally reduces expenses and helps maintain a debt-free state, allowing focus on passions, relationships, and time.

5. Living Small Can Increase Happiness and Freedom

The primary asset that comes with a small house is freedom.

Rethinking space. The average size of American homes has more than doubled since the 1950s, along with a tripling of median home prices, tying people to larger mortgages and the need for more stuff to fill the space. The author's grandparents, in contrast, built a 600-square-foot cottage in the 1950s, paying cash for everything by reusing materials, prioritizing financial freedom over size.

Intentional living. Living in a smaller space, like the author's 128-square-foot tiny house, encourages intentionality about possessions and daily life. It forces you to prioritize what you truly need and use, leading to a clutter-free environment that feels more open and less burdensome. The process of designing and living in a small home requires creative solutions for storage and multipurpose spaces.

More than just size. The tiny house movement and living small are less about the specific square footage and more about a philosophy of prioritizing happiness, time, and financial freedom. It allows for a lower cost of living, freeing up resources for experiences, community engagement, and pursuing work you love. Stories like Andrew Odom's, who built a small bungalow and is building a tiny house to spend more time with his family, highlight how living small can strengthen relationships and align life with core values.

6. Reclaiming Your Work Life for Purpose

I’ve chosen work that gives me freedom.

Beyond the paycheck. Traditional nine-to-five jobs, especially those taken solely for income, can lead to unhappiness and burnout if they don't align with personal values or passions. The author experienced this in the investment management industry, feeling depressed and stuck despite a good salary, realizing her work didn't make a difference in the world. Simplifying her life allowed her to rethink her career path.

Finding your calling. Reclaiming work involves identifying what truly energizes and fulfills you, rather than just what pays the bills. This often requires taking risks and making changes, which are more feasible when living expenses are low. The author transitioned from finance to victim advocacy and then to full-time writing, a path made possible by reducing debt and living simply.

Creating your own path. Simplifying provides the freedom and flexibility to create a work life that fits your desired lifestyle, whether that's starting your own business, working remotely, or reducing hours to spend time on other priorities. Chris O'Byrne's story of leaving chemical engineering to start an editing business and work with his family exemplifies how intentional choices about work, supported by simple living, can lead to greater happiness and temporal freedom.

7. Time Is Your Most Valuable Asset

I have come to see time as a nonrenewable resource and an extremely valuable commodity.

The time crunch. Despite technological advancements, many people feel they lack sufficient time for meaningful activities. Research shows that commuting is consistently ranked as one of the worst parts of the day and negatively impacts happiness, while excessive TV watching is the primary leisure activity for Americans, consuming over a thousand hours annually. These activities consume valuable time that could be spent on more fulfilling pursuits.

Intentional time use. Simplifying life allows you to regain control over your time and be more intentional about how you spend it. Reducing or eliminating a commute, like the author's shift to a 30-second "commute" in her tiny house, frees up significant hours. Replacing passive activities like watching TV with active ones like reading, exercising, or spending time with loved ones enhances well-being.

Unplugging for presence. Constant connectivity through the internet and social media can also be a major time sink and distraction, impacting focus and potentially leading to feelings of dissatisfaction. Taking intentional breaks from technology, like the author's digital sabbatical, can help recenter and increase presence in the real world. Ultimately, how you choose to spend your time directly shapes the quality of your life.

8. Experiences and Helping Others Bring More Joy Than Things

Beyond meeting our basic needs, money cannot give us any of the things that actually bring happiness — family, community, good health, good work, experience of art and nature, service to others, a sense of purpose, and spiritual insight.

Investing in experiences. Research indicates that while income is not a strong predictor of happiness beyond meeting basic needs, how you spend your money matters. Spending on experiences (travel, classes, events) typically brings more lasting satisfaction than buying material goods, as experiences create joyful memories and contribute to personal growth. The author's bike camping trip, though challenging, created valuable memories and a sense of accomplishment.

The power of giving. Spending money on others or donating to charity (pro-social spending) has been shown to increase happiness more than spending on oneself. Volunteering time also provides significant health and happiness benefits, reducing stress and depression while increasing life satisfaction. Helping others creates a "helper's high" and fosters a sense of purpose and connection.

Shifting values. Distinguishing between needs and wants and aligning spending with core values is crucial for buying happiness. The author's mom, despite inheriting money, prioritized financial security and experiences like skiing over accumulating wealth for its own sake. Stories from readers highlight the deep satisfaction derived from helping others and building community resources, demonstrating that true wealth lies in connection and contribution, not consumption.

9. Strong Relationships and Community Are Essential

Strong relationships are vital for a happy and healthy life.

Foundation of happiness. Research consistently shows that strong social relationships are a key predictor of happiness, health, and longevity. Very happy people tend to have robust connections with partners, family, and friends. Nurturing these relationships requires time and effort, which can be challenging when life is consumed by work, debt, and managing possessions.

Simplifying strengthens bonds. Living simply can directly improve relationships by removing common sources of conflict like money worries and clutter. Reducing external pressures frees up time and energy to focus on quality interactions. The author found that moving to smaller spaces encouraged better communication with her husband, as there was less room to retreat during disagreements, fostering quicker resolution.

Building intentional community. Finding or creating a supportive community is crucial for well-being. This can involve actively engaging with neighbors, joining groups based on shared interests (like cycling or volunteering), or participating in intentional communities. The author's experience volunteering at Living Yoga and joining bike groups in Portland helped her build a new support network and sense of belonging after moving to a new city. Community provides support during difficult times and enhances daily life.

10. Appreciating Tiny Pleasures and Gratitude Enhances Life

Happiness isn’t a stroke of luck. It’s something you have to practice every day.

Savoring moments. Happiness is often found not in grand achievements or possessions, but in appreciating the small, mundane moments of everyday life. Savoring tiny pleasures, like the beauty of a single flower or the taste of ice cream, can increase self-confidence and reduce neuroticism. Research suggests that constant access to luxury may diminish the capacity to appreciate these small joys, while simple living can heighten awareness of them.

Cultivating curiosity. Engaging your curiosity and seeking out new information and experiences, even small ones like learning a new word or exploring a park, forms new pathways in the brain and contributes to well-being. This active engagement with the present moment is a practice that counters the tendency to dwell on the past or worry about the future.

The power of gratitude. Regularly practicing gratitude, by reflecting on what you are thankful for, has been shown to reduce stress, depression, and anxiety. Expressing gratitude, whether silently or to others, strengthens connections and increases appreciation for what you have. Acts of kindness, both giving and receiving, also foster gratitude and create a positive ripple effect, adding tremendous joy and meaning to life.

11. Authenticity Is Key to a Simple, Happy Life

authenticity as 'the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.'

Letting go of expectations. Pursuing a simple life often involves letting go of societal expectations and the pressure to conform to norms regarding possessions, career, and lifestyle. The author initially felt like a failure and an impostor when she incurred debt for her tiny house, as it didn't fit her idealized vision of being debt-free. Authenticity requires accepting imperfections and embracing your true self, even when it deviates from perceived ideals.

Embracing vulnerability. Living authentically and pursuing a life aligned with your values requires vulnerability, especially when your choices differ from those of friends and family. Sharing your journey and communicating your reasons, even when met with resistance or judgment, is part of the process. Vulnerability is also essential for building deep connections and community.

Finding joy in the process. The journey toward a simple, happy life is ongoing and rarely linear. There will be challenges, setbacks, and moments of doubt. However, by focusing on the process itself, practicing gratitude for what you have, appreciating tiny pleasures, nurturing relationships, and aligning your actions with your core values, you can find joy and meaning every day, regardless of external circumstances. The goal is to love life, not stuff.

Last updated: May 5, 2025