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Exactly What to Say

Exactly What to Say

The Magic Words for Influence and Impact
作者 Phil M. Jones 2017 148 页数
3.75
8k+ 评分

重点摘要

1. 魔法词语:精准语言在影响他人中的力量

魔法词语是一组直接与潜意识大脑对话的词语。

潜意识沟通。 潜意识大脑在决策过程中起着至关重要的作用,它以“是”或“否”的二元系统运作,而没有“也许”的复杂性。通过使用特定的短语直接与大脑的这一部分互动,你可以显著影响他人的决策和行为。

实际应用。 这些魔法词语不是操纵的技巧,而是增强个人和职业环境中沟通和说服力的工具。它们通过触发预先编程的反应,使他人更容易同意或遵从你的请求。掌握这些短语后,你可以在生活的各个方面变得更具说服力和影响力,从销售和商业谈判到个人关系。

2. 无拒绝介绍:“我不确定这是否适合你,但……”

以“我不确定这是否适合你”开头的陈述会让听者的潜意识大脑听到“这里没有压力”。

减少抵抗。 这个短语是介绍想法或产品的强大工具,不会触发听者的防御机制。通过暗示这个提议可能不合适,你反而增加了他们的好奇心和参与度。

心理影响。 魔力在于短语末尾的“但”字。它否定了之前所说的一切,使听者专注于后面的内容。这种技巧允许你以一种非威胁性的方式提出你的想法,增加了积极接受的可能性。使用这种方法时:

  • 介绍新产品或服务
  • 向同事或上级建议想法
  • 向朋友或家人提出计划

3. 利用开放心态:框架选择以达成一致

每个人都希望自己是开放心态的。

迎合自我形象。 大多数人喜欢认为自己是开放心态的。通过以开放心态的术语框架你的请求或建议,你触发了这种对积极自我形象的渴望。

实际应用。 使用诸如“你对……有多开放心态?”或“你会对……持开放心态吗?”这样的短语来介绍新想法或提议。这种方法:

  • 增加达成一致的几率
  • 使他人难以直接拒绝你的想法
  • 鼓励探索可能性
    例子:
  • “你对尝试这种替代方案有多开放心态?”
  • “你会对看看我们是否能合作持开放心态吗?”

4. 情感决策:使用“如果……你会感觉如何?”

人们根据感觉做出决策。如果你能让它感觉正确,剩下的就容易了。

触发情感。 决策主要由情感驱动,逻辑起次要作用。通过问“如果……你会感觉如何?”,你鼓励他人想象决策的情感影响。

创造动机。 这种技巧通过以下方式起作用:

  • 让人们可视化未来情景
  • 触发正面和负面的情感
  • 在当前状态和潜在未来状态之间创造对比
    例子:
  • “如果这个决策导致你升职,你会感觉如何?”
  • “如果你失去一切,你会感觉如何?”
  • “如果明年此时你无债一身轻,住在梦想中的家里,你会感觉如何?”

5. 可视化技巧:“想象一下……”

通过讲故事在他人脑海中创造画面。

想象力的力量。 短语“想象一下……”触发大脑的图像查看器,让人们生动地描绘你描述的情景。这种可视化可以显著影响决策。

实际应用。 使用这种技巧来:

  • 描绘积极的未来结果
  • 说明潜在的负面后果
  • 增强实现目标的信念
    例子:
  • “想象一下,六个月后你实施了这个方案,情况会如何。”
  • “想象一下,当你告诉孩子们你预订了迪士尼乐园的旅行时,他们脸上的笑容。”
  • “想象一下,站在舞台上领取那张大额奖励支票。”

6. 克服时间异议:“什么时候合适?”

前缀“什么时候合适……”让对方假设会有一个合适的时间,并且“否”不是一个选项。

假设同意。 这个短语巧妙地将对话从是否会发生转移到何时会发生。它绕过了与时间不足相关的常见异议。

后续策略。 使用这个短语后:

  • 确保安排一个具体的时间和日期
  • 在跟进时,问“你喜欢它的什么?”而不是“你怎么看?”
    这种方法:
  • 保持对话积极
  • 专注于好处而非潜在异议

7. 创造对比:提供三个选项进行决策

通过创建这些“如果……那么”的三明治,你可以定位难以不相信的保证结果。

三的力量。 提供三个选项可以有效地引导决策:

  1. 一个不太理想的选项
  2. 一个维持现状的选项
  3. 你偏好的选项(最后呈现)

心理影响。 这种技巧:

  • 使你偏好的选项看起来更有吸引力
  • 在引导决策的同时创造选择感
  • 利用“如果……那么”结构来强化结果

例子:
“在我看来,你有三个选项。首先,你可以[不太理想的选项]。其次,你可以[维持现状的选项]。或者第三,你可以[你偏好的选项]。在这三个选项中,哪个对你来说更容易?”

8. “大多数人”的心理学:通过社会证明影响他人

当你告诉人们大多数人会怎么做时,他们的潜意识大脑会说:“啊哈,我是大多数人之一,所以如果大多数人会这么做,那么也许我也应该这么做。”

利用社会证明。 人们经常通过他人的行为来指导自己的决策。通过使用短语“大多数人……”,你触发了这种心理倾向。

应用技巧:

  • 用于介绍新想法或行为
  • 在面对犹豫或抵抗时应用
  • 结合具体例子或统计数据以增加影响
    例子:
  • “在你的情况下,大多数人会抓住这个机会。”
  • “大多数人会在这里和我一起完成表格。”

9. 将负面转化为正面:“好消息是……”

通过以“好消息是……”开头,你让人们面向前方,充满乐观,并消除对话中的负能量。

重构视角。 这个短语有助于将对话从负面转向正面,改变讨论的情感基调和前景。

实际用途:

  • 解决顾虑或异议
  • 提出问题的解决方案
  • 在挑战性情况下激励他人
    例子:
  • “好消息是我们有全面的培训,你可以按自己的节奏完成。”
  • “好消息是你已经知道现在的做法不起作用,所以尝试这个有什么害处?”

10. 保持控制:用“你为什么这么说?”回应异议

谈判成功的关键在于保持对话的控制,而控制对话的人总是提问的人。

重新掌控。 面对异议时,问“你为什么这么说?”可以让你:

  • 保持对话的控制
  • 更深入地了解异议
  • 避免做出假设或进入争论

战略回应。 这种方法:

  • 将解释的负担转移到对方身上
  • 为你提供更多信息以解决顾虑
  • 保持对话开放和建设性

11. 结束技巧:从“在你下定决心之前”到“还有一件事”

使用这些时刻和魔法词语“还有一件事”可以让对话继续进行,帮助你避免空手而归。

保持机会开放。 这些短语有助于防止讨论过早结束,并创造额外的达成一致的机会。

关键技巧:

  1. “在你下定决心之前……”:延迟最终决策并允许提供额外信息
  2. “如果我能……,你会……吗?”:创建有条件的协议
  3. “还有一件事……”:在对话似乎要结束时引入额外的提议或信息

例子:

  • “在你下定决心之前,让我们确保我们已经看过所有的事实。”
  • “如果我能为你匹配这个价格,那么你今天愿意和我下订单吗?”
  • “还有一件事……你有兴趣试试我们的新产品样品吗?”

12. 请求帮助的艺术:利用感激之情获取推荐

当人们觉得欠你人情时,他们会说谢谢。这是请求帮助的最佳时机。

时机至关重要。 请求帮助,特别是推荐的最佳时机,是当有人对你的服务或帮助表示感谢时。

战略方法:

  1. 听到感激之情的表达(例如,“谢谢”)
  2. 回应“你能帮我一个小忙吗?”
  3. 跟进一个具体的、可管理的推荐请求

示例脚本:
“你不会碰巧认识一个人吧,就像你一样,会从[具体好处]中受益?”

后续策略:

  • 不要立即要求联系信息
  • 问他们下次见到他们想到的人是什么时候
  • 请求他们分享他们的积极体验并评估兴趣
  • 安排后续电话以检查进展

这种方法:

  • 利用善意的时刻
  • 使推荐请求不那么具有侵扰性
  • 增加高质量推荐的可能性

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's "Exactly What to Say" about?

  • Focus on Communication: "Exactly What to Say" by Phil M. Jones is centered on the art of spoken communication and the impact of using the right words at the right time.
  • Influence and Persuasion: The book provides tactical insights into how specific phrases can influence and persuade others effectively.
  • Practical Tools: It offers practical tools and strategies for individuals who are driven to achieve success by improving their communication skills.
  • Real-World Application: The book is designed to be applicable in both personal and professional settings, helping readers to get more of what they want from their interactions.

Why should I read "Exactly What to Say"?

  • Improve Communication Skills: The book is a guide to mastering the art of communication, which is essential in both personal and professional life.
  • Achieve Better Outcomes: By learning the magic words, readers can influence others more effectively and achieve desired outcomes.
  • Practical and Actionable: The advice is simple, easy to implement, and proven to work, making it a valuable resource for anyone looking to enhance their persuasive abilities.
  • Broad Applicability: Whether you're in sales, management, or any role that involves interaction with others, the book's lessons are universally applicable.

What are the key takeaways of "Exactly What to Say"?

  • Magic Words: The book introduces specific phrases that can influence the subconscious mind and lead to better communication outcomes.
  • Timing and Delivery: Knowing not just what to say, but when and how to say it, is crucial for effective persuasion.
  • Rejection-Free Approach: Techniques are provided to introduce ideas without fear of rejection, increasing the likelihood of acceptance.
  • Influence with Integrity: The book emphasizes influencing others with integrity, ensuring that persuasion is ethical and respectful.

How does Phil M. Jones define "Magic Words"?

  • Subconscious Influence: Magic Words are phrases that speak directly to the subconscious brain, which is decisive and quick to respond.
  • Decision-Making Tool: These words help in making decisions without overanalyzing, providing a fair advantage in conversations.
  • Proven Effectiveness: The words are tried, tested, and proven to deliver results when used correctly.
  • Simple Yet Powerful: Despite their simplicity, these words can significantly impact the outcome of conversations.

What are some examples of Magic Words from "Exactly What to Say"?

  • "I'm Not Sure If It's for You, But": This phrase introduces ideas in a rejection-free manner, increasing curiosity and interest.
  • "How Open-Minded Are You?": This question encourages people to consider new ideas by appealing to their desire to be open-minded.
  • "What Do You Know?": This phrase challenges the knowledge base of someone who is resistant, prompting them to reconsider their stance.
  • "Just Imagine": This phrase helps create vivid mental images, making it easier for others to envision and accept new ideas.

How can "Exactly What to Say" help in sales?

  • Overcome Objections: The book provides strategies to handle common objections and regain control of conversations.
  • Close More Deals: By using the right words, sales professionals can guide prospects toward making decisions more effectively.
  • Build Rapport: The techniques help in building trust and rapport with clients, making them more receptive to proposals.
  • Increase Influence: Salespeople can become more influential by understanding and applying the principles of persuasion outlined in the book.

What are the best quotes from "Exactly What to Say" and what do they mean?

  • "The worst time to think of the best thing to say is always when you’re actually saying it!" This highlights the importance of preparation in communication.
  • "Magic Words are sets of words that talk straight to the subconscious brain." This emphasizes the power of specific phrases in influencing decisions.
  • "If you want to sell more and influence better and take much less time doing it, then this book is as close as you’ll get to a magic wand or silver bullet to success!" This quote underscores the book's potential to transform communication effectiveness.
  • "Everything you have learned in this book is simple, easy to do and works." This reassures readers of the practicality and effectiveness of the advice given.

How does Phil M. Jones suggest handling objections?

  • Regain Control: Treat objections as questions and respond with questions to maintain control of the conversation.
  • Use "What Makes You Say That?": This phrase prompts the other person to explain their objection, providing more information to address it.
  • Avoid Arguments: Instead of countering objections with arguments, seek to understand the underlying reasons.
  • Encourage Transparency: By asking questions, you encourage the other person to be more transparent about their concerns.

What is the "rejection-free" approach in "Exactly What to Say"?

  • Non-Pressuring Introduction: Use phrases like "I'm not sure if it's for you, but..." to introduce ideas without pressure.
  • Increase Curiosity: This approach naturally increases the listener's curiosity and interest in the proposal.
  • Internal Decision-Making: It encourages the listener to make an internal decision without feeling coerced.
  • Effective for Any Audience: This method can be used with anyone, making it versatile and widely applicable.

How can "Exactly What to Say" be applied in personal life?

  • Enhance Relationships: Use the techniques to improve communication and understanding in personal relationships.
  • Influence Decisions: Apply the principles to influence family and friends in a positive and ethical manner.
  • Resolve Conflicts: The book's strategies can help in resolving conflicts by fostering better communication.
  • Achieve Personal Goals: By mastering the art of persuasion, individuals can achieve personal goals more effectively.

What is the significance of the phrase "Just Imagine" in "Exactly What to Say"?

  • Create Mental Images: "Just Imagine" helps create vivid mental images that make it easier for others to envision new ideas.
  • Influence Decisions: By painting a picture of the future, this phrase can influence decisions and motivate action.
  • Engage Emotions: It engages the listener's emotions, making the proposal more compelling and memorable.
  • Versatile Application: This phrase can be used in various contexts, from sales pitches to personal conversations.

How does "Exactly What to Say" address the fear of rejection?

  • Rejection-Free Phrases: The book provides phrases that introduce ideas without the fear of rejection, making it easier to propose new concepts.
  • Build Confidence: By using these techniques, individuals can build confidence in their communication skills.
  • Increase Acceptance: The strategies increase the likelihood of acceptance by reducing the pressure on the listener.
  • Practical Examples: The book offers practical examples of how to use these phrases in real-life situations, making it easier to apply the advice.

评论

3.75 满分 5
平均评分来自 8k+ 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《Exactly What to Say》收到了褒贬不一的评价。许多读者认为这本书对提高销售技巧和沟通能力很有帮助,称赞其简洁的格式和实用的短语。然而,也有一些人批评它具有操纵性,过于注重销售策略。正面评价强调了它在各种情况下的实用性,而负面评价则对其伦理影响表示担忧。书的篇幅短小被视为优点和缺点并存,有些人欣赏其简洁明了,而另一些人则觉得内容深度不足。总体而言,读者的观点和预期用途不同,导致了对这本书的评价差异很大。

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关于作者

菲尔·M·琼斯是一位著名的销售培训师和作家,在口头沟通方面拥有丰富的经验。他在56个国家培训了超过两百万人,并与全球主要品牌合作。琼斯在2013年成为最年轻的英国销售与市场营销卓越奖年度销售培训师得主。他的成就包括撰写畅销书和开发受欢迎的在线培训课程。专注于口头沟通艺术,琼斯已成为销售教育领域的领军人物。他在伦敦和纽约之间分配时间,继续在全球范围内影响和教育专业人士,传授有效的沟通和销售技巧。

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