13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

1. Embrace Discomfort: Don't Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Yourself

"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality."

Self-pity is self-destructive. It wastes time, fuels negative emotions, and prevents you from dealing with other emotions. When you indulge in self-pity, you miss out on the good in your life and create a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery. It interferes with relationships and hinders personal growth.

Overcome self-pity through action and gratitude. Instead of wallowing, engage in activities that challenge your negative mindset:

• Volunteer for a worthy cause
• Perform random acts of kindness
• Exercise or learn a new skill
• Practice gratitude daily by journaling or sharing what you're thankful for

By shifting your focus from problems to positive actions and appreciations, you'll build resilience and improve your mental health. Research shows gratitude can lead to better sleep, lower blood pressure, and increased happiness.

2. Retain Your Power: Don't Give It Away to Others

"When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness."

Your power lies in your response. When you allow others to control your emotions or dictate your self-worth, you surrender your personal power. This leads to unhealthy dependence on external validation and prevents you from addressing real problems in your life.

To reclaim your power:

• Identify people who have taken your power
• Reframe your language (e.g., "I choose to..." instead of "I have to...")
• Think before reacting emotionally
• Evaluate feedback critically
• Recognize your choices in every situation

By retaining your power, you'll develop better relationships, increased confidence, and more control over your life. Remember, forgiveness is a powerful tool for letting go of resentment and reclaiming your personal power.

3. Embrace Change: Don't Shy Away from New Challenges

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't . . . It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."

Change is inevitable and necessary for growth. Resisting change leads to stagnation, missed opportunities, and an inability to adapt to life's challenges. Fear often holds us back from embracing change, whether it's fear of the unknown, discomfort, or potential failure.

To become more comfortable with change:

• Identify the pros and cons of changing vs. staying the same
• Develop awareness of your emotions around change
• Create a successful plan for implementing change
• Take small, incremental steps towards your goal
• Behave like the person you want to become

By embracing change, you open yourself up to new experiences, personal growth, and increased resilience. Remember, change is a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself as you navigate new territory.

4. Focus on What You Can Control: Let Go of What You Can't

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."

Wasting energy on uncontrollable factors leads to stress and anxiety. When you focus on things beyond your control, you neglect areas where you could make a real difference. This mindset can lead to feelings of helplessness and prevent you from taking productive action.

To develop a balanced sense of control:

• Identify your fears about letting go of control
• Focus on influencing rather than controlling others
• Practice acceptance of situations you can't change
• Recognize what you can control: your attitude and behavior

By shifting your focus to what you can control, you'll reduce stress, improve relationships, and increase your overall effectiveness. This mindset allows you to channel your energy into meaningful action rather than fruitless worry.

5. Stay True to Your Values: Don't Try to Please Everyone

"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner."

People-pleasing erodes your authenticity and self-worth. Constantly trying to make others happy leads to resentment, loss of identity, and neglect of your own needs. It's impossible to please everyone, and attempting to do so will leave you exhausted and unfulfilled.

To overcome people-pleasing tendencies:

• Clarify your personal values
• Practice saying "no" without explanation
• Take time to decide whether to say yes or no
• Learn to tolerate others' disappointment or anger
• Focus on behaving assertively rather than passively or aggressively

By staying true to your values, you'll develop stronger, more authentic relationships and a clearer sense of self. Remember, it's not selfish to prioritize your own well-being; it's necessary for maintaining healthy boundaries and relationships.

6. Take Calculated Risks: Don't Fear Failure

"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."

Avoiding risk limits your potential for growth and success. While it's natural to fear failure, letting that fear control your decisions prevents you from pursuing opportunities and reaching your goals. Taking calculated risks is essential for personal and professional development.

To become more comfortable with risk-taking:

• Identify your fears about failure
• Balance emotion with logic when assessing risks
• Minimize risk and maximize success through preparation
• Practice taking small risks to build confidence
• Learn from each risk you take, regardless of the outcome

By embracing calculated risks, you open yourself up to new experiences, learning opportunities, and potential rewards. Remember, failure is often a stepping stone to success, providing valuable lessons and insights along the way.

7. Learn from the Past: Don't Dwell on It

"We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present."

Dwelling on the past prevents you from enjoying the present and planning for the future. While it's important to learn from past experiences, excessive rumination can lead to depression, anxiety, and missed opportunities in the present moment.

To make peace with the past and move forward:

• Shift your thinking to focus on lessons learned
• Practice forgiveness (of yourself and others)
• Change behaviors that keep you stuck in the past
• Create new, positive memories to balance out negative ones
• Seek professional help if traumatic memories persist

By learning from the past without dwelling on it, you free up mental energy to focus on the present and future. This mindset allows for personal growth, improved relationships, and a more positive outlook on life.

8. Persevere Through Setbacks: Don't Give Up After First Failure

"Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success."

Giving up after initial failure prevents you from reaching your full potential. Success often requires multiple attempts and learning from mistakes. When you quit after the first setback, you miss out on valuable lessons and the opportunity to develop resilience.

To build perseverance:

• Study your mistakes to understand what went wrong
• Create a plan for moving forward after failure
• Practice self-discipline and tolerance for discomfort
• Focus on improving your skills rather than proving them
• Celebrate small victories along the way

By persevering through setbacks, you develop mental toughness, problem-solving skills, and increased confidence in your abilities. Remember, many successful people faced numerous failures before achieving their goals.

9. Cultivate Inner Strength: Don't Fear Alone Time

"All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."

Avoiding solitude robs you of opportunities for self-reflection and growth. In our constantly connected world, many people fear being alone with their thoughts. However, solitude is essential for developing self-awareness, creativity, and emotional regulation.

To embrace alone time:

• Schedule regular "dates" with yourself
• Practice mindfulness and meditation
• Keep a journal to process thoughts and emotions
• Engage in solo activities you enjoy
• Limit distractions during your alone time

By cultivating comfort with solitude, you'll develop a stronger sense of self, improved mental health, and increased productivity. Solitude allows for deep thinking, problem-solving, and recharging your emotional batteries.

10. Embrace Humility: Don't Feel Entitled

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

A sense of entitlement hinders personal growth and damages relationships. Feeling that the world owes you something leads to disappointment, bitterness, and a lack of personal responsibility. It prevents you from appreciating what you have and working hard for what you want.

To overcome entitlement:

• Develop self-awareness of entitled thoughts and behaviors
• Focus on giving rather than taking
• Practice gratitude for what you have
• Acknowledge your flaws and weaknesses
• Think about how others feel, not just your own emotions

By embracing humility, you'll develop stronger relationships, increased empathy, and a more realistic view of the world. This mindset allows for continuous learning and personal growth.

11. Practice Patience: Don't Expect Immediate Results

"Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success."

Expecting immediate results leads to frustration and premature abandonment of goals. In our fast-paced world, it's easy to become impatient when we don't see instant progress. However, meaningful change and success often require time and consistent effort.

To develop patience:

• Set realistic expectations for your goals
• Break large goals into smaller, manageable steps
• Celebrate small victories along the way
• Focus on the process, not just the end result
• Practice mindfulness to stay present in the moment

By cultivating patience, you'll be better equipped to pursue long-term goals, handle setbacks, and appreciate the journey of personal growth. Remember, most "overnight successes" are the result of years of hard work and persistence.

Last updated: July 29, 2024